Curiouser (Girls of Wonder Lane Book 3)

by Coryell, Christina

She lays her head on his collarbone and gazes at the TV. “Mommy, can Jay watch Belle?”

  “I don’t know if Jake wants to watch Beauty and the Beast. We’ll have to ask him.”

  He relaxes into the couch and pretends that he’s just as tired as Bailey. “Can we watch Belle, please?” He rests his chin on the top of her head as he stares at me, and I divert my attention from him by looking for Bailey’s DVD. Once I find it, I busy myself with loading it and fast forwarding through the previews so I don’t have to look into those blue eyes again. They’ve been trying to read me too closely lately, and I’m not sure this book wants to be opened.

  Once the townsfolk are safely singing “Belle” as the heroine skips around town with her nose in her book, I excuse myself and head to the bathroom to lock myself inside. My sudden emotion is completely ridiculous, and deep inside I’m berating myself for that very thing, but I can’t seem to stop the moisture from clouding my eyes.

  Just a short time ago, Annie and I were sitting on that couch joking about ringtones for our exes. I was thinking about how I couldn’t wait to escape from Jake. Wishing I had the ability to truly start over the way Annie has. Not giving any thought to the way my personal wishes affected my baby girl.

  Jake didn’t fight me when I took complete custody of Bailey. He signed the paperwork without any argument at all because he wanted nothing to do with her. I said he wouldn’t have to pay child support, against the wishes of my lawyer, and he had no hesitation doing whatever I asked. He’s barely had any part in her life since that day. All I wanted was to keep it that way.

  But my little girl is sitting on her dad’s lap right now watching a movie that I’m pretty sure he has no interest in. I would have taken that moment from Bailey. And even if she never gets another one as long as she lives, she’ll have this one.

  “You’re a horrible person,” I whisper to my reflection in the mirror, observing my slightly red nose and the tear sliding down my cheek. Sniffling, I grab a tissue and blot at my eyes, leaning my head back to try to staunch the flow of tears.

  Jake sitting on the couch holding Bailey—that I wouldn’t have expected.

  Jake in my house and me locked in the bathroom crying—yeah, sounds about right.

  Forcing the biggest breath I can muster, I unlock the bathroom door and make my way down the hall until I can see the couch again, Bailey resting against Jake, her eyes barely propped open as she watches her movie.

  “Everything okay?” he asks quietly as I sit about a foot away from them.

  Rather than trusting myself to speak just yet, I offer a slight smile as I nod in his direction. He stops looking at me and focuses instead on the Beast on the screen, so I take another quick breath.

  “Did you really chase Bailey up the slide?”

  “Yep.” He nods but doesn’t take his eyes off the television. “Up the slide, up the steps, through the rope maze. I even got stuck once and this six-year-old kid named Timmy stomped on my stomach.”

  “Yikes.” I can feel my eyes getting watery, but I try to fight it. “Thank you. I’m sure that meant so much to her.”

  “Yeah, well, it didn’t exactly mean nothing to me either.” He glances at me just in time to witness a tear sliding down my cheek. His eyes glass over before he forces them back to the movie, and he clears his throat. “Bailey’s a really good kid. One of the parents in McDonald’s told me that. ‘Takes after her mom,’ I said. She laughed like I was joking, but I wasn’t. And I should say thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Giving her a good life.”

  Seeing as how I’m oddly emotional and don’t have an appropriate response to that statement, I choose to focus on the television and say nothing, like a coward.

  Jake doesn’t engage me anymore, for which I don’t blame him. Instead, he holds Bailey as we watch Belle come to the realization that the Beast isn’t really so bad. By the time the movie is halfway over, Bailey is fast asleep.

  “Do you want me to take her?” I whisper. Jake glances at me and then down at Bailey.

  “I kind of want to know what happens to Belle.”

  I fight the urge to laugh as I rise and reach for Bailey. “Don’t worry. I’ll let you finish the movie.”

  “But it makes it kind of weird if there’s no kid in the room.”

  “Yeah, mega weird.” My eyes meet his as I scoop Bailey up, and I think I note a hint of mischief in his gaze. I wait until I turn toward the hall with Bailey to allow a smile to cross my face.

  She doesn’t fight me as I pull the covers over her body and press a kiss to her forehead. That trip to McDonald’s must have really worn her out. I sit on the edge of her bed for a couple minutes, simply staring at her face. I breathe a couple of prayers, mostly that I won’t totally screw her life up. That I can be the mother she needs. Then I place my first two fingers lightly over her nose and lips, just to feel her breath on my skin.

  I’ve done that every night since the first night I brought her home. Placed my hand just so to make sure she’s still breathing. It felt somewhat rational in the beginning, when she would lay eerily still and not make any noise. Now it feels almost nutty, but I can’t seem to get out of the habit.

  A warm hand on my shoulder causes me to halt with my fingers above Bailey’s face.

  “I paused the movie. Hope that’s okay.”

  Thank goodness my back is to him, because I can only imagine the look of panic on my face.

  “No, you’ll have to start it over at the beginning now.”

  “For real?”

  His hand hasn’t moved from its spot, and his mere closeness causes me to squeeze my eyes shut and bring my hand up to pinch the bridge of my nose.

  “Of course not. I’m just being odd to try to make this less awkward. It’s not working.”

  He takes his hand off my shoulder and sits beside me on the bed, but I don’t dare look at him.

  “Do you think something happened to her today?”

  “No. Should I?” I twist my face in his direction, and he doesn’t avert his eyes from mine.

  “You were checking to make sure she was breathing.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I’ve done it with my dad enough to recognize it.”

  It’s too intense, being this close to Jake and staring into those eyes. Trying to divert his scrutiny, I look at the floor and shove my hair over my shoulder.

  “It doesn’t mean anything. Just a weird mom thing I’ve always done.”

  Not wanting to remain in such close proximity, I stand and move toward the door, only pausing once to make sure he’s following. Since he’s right behind me, I don’t stop at the couch but continue to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water. Without giving it a lot of thought, I grab a glass for Jake as well.

  “Here.” I hand him the glass as I place my knee on the couch, sitting cross-legged as far from him as possible. He takes it quietly and holds it against his knee, his fingers barely gripping the side of the glass. He doesn’t restart the cartoon, but simply sits there staring at the screen, which has gone blue. Maybe he really doesn’t want to watch the movie without Bailey in the room. As if anyone would know besides me, and I seriously doubt he cares what I think.

  “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Alex.”

  Something tells me this conversation is headed in an uncomfortable direction. Rather than watch its descent, I attempt a smile.

  “Well, if you hit the ‘play’ button on the remote, your movie should come back on.”

  He shakes his head slowly as a grin plays about his lips. “Cute, but this really isn’t funny.”

  “Okay.” I take a drink of my water, more to give myself time than because I’m thirsty.

  “It seems like there’s some kind of way this should progress, but I just can’t make myself do it.”

  Something in the way he makes that statement instantly puts me back in Jackson on the tailgate of Cody’s pickup. Can’t ever follow through wit
h Alexis. Too good. It’s preposterous, though, because Jake and I aren’t dating. Surely he doesn’t think just because he’s here and Bailey’s asleep that I would…

  “I know there are legal steps I should take and all that, but it seems like if I go down that road it’s going to cause a rift between us. And I don’t want to do anything that makes you lose time with Bailey, because you don’t deserve that. In all honesty, I’m the one who deserves nothing.” He begins tapping his finger against the glass almost nervously. “The thing is, I want to be part of her life. Not just a ‘pop over once a week’ kind of guy, but I want to try to be a real dad. With things the way they are, I just don’t know how to make it happen.”

  I rest my head against the couch and let out a breath of relief, carefully keeping my focus on the blue television screen.

  “You don’t need to do anything, okay?” Turning my focus to the glass in my hands, I twist it carefully and watch the light coming from overhead dance across the water. “You’re Bailey’s father, plain and simple. If you want to spend time with her, I won’t stop you.”

  “When, though? I don’t want to take anything away from you.”

  “So don’t,” I offer simply. He immediately turns to stare at me, so I reluctantly look in his direction. “I owe you an apology.”

  “Not likely.”

  “Yes, very likely. Back at Christmas, when we were at my parents’ house, I told you we couldn’t be friends.”

  “I recall that.”

  “Probably not the nicest thing I’ve ever said.”

  He laughs as he exhibits one of those rare smiles I only see when flirty Jake pops into play. Dimple pronounced, one side of his lip a little higher than the other, straight white teeth on display. “Don’t worry about using good manners on me. I’m cool about it, really.”

  “I’m not. I know this is going to sound completely crazy, but since I was a kid, I’ve been extremely aware of when I’ve done something wrong. It just sits on me like a stench I can’t get rid of. Anyway, just know that I’m sorry about saying that. It was unkind.”

  “So what are you saying? You want to be friends now?”

  He doesn’t change his expression, and I allow myself to smile back at him even though it feels like a horrible idea. I’ve seen the way Jake uses his charms to his best advantage. Even though I’m aware of them, I’m not entirely certain I’m immune.

  “I guess what I’m saying is that we could give it a try. And you’re welcome to come over anytime to see Bailey.”

  “That’s a dangerous statement. What if I show up every night around dinner time?”

  “Then I’ll figure out pretty quickly that I need to plan on cooking for three.”

  He nods as his hand extends toward me, across the vacant space in the middle of the couch. Without giving it much thought, I take it in mine.

  “Friends?” He poses it as a question, but I’m sure he already knows the answer.

  “Friends.”

  He looks down at our hands, which forces my eyes down to our hands as well. Clasped together in a handshake—nothing odd about it, but he doesn’t let go. For some crazy reason, that knowledge makes me reluctant to let go, too. He should be the one to let go, right?

  “So what would friends do now?” he asks quietly. “This is kind of new territory for me.”

  “Most of my friends enjoy repainting my living room or doing my laundry.”

  “I can do that. Where’s the paint?”

  Instead of making me feel manipulated or causing my stomach to flip upside down, the easy smile he exhibits this time causes me to relax a little. Only very little, because he is still Jake, after all.

  “Or I suppose you could just finish watching the movie. And let go of my hand.”

  He shrugs as he cocks his head to the side and meets my gaze. “I could.” He squeezes my hand lightly before his fingers trail across the inside of my palm, renewing the stomach gymnastics that I erroneously thought I had under control. As his fingertips bump against mine, he pulls his eyes away from me and turns to the TV. It’s the only impetus I need to grab the remote and push the play button.

  There are not many things I’m sure of at the moment, but I know without a doubt that there needs to be another story playing in this room besides the Alexis and Jake plotline.

  Chapter Twenty

  Alexis

  Bailey informs me as we’re leaving the house that she needs to make a special card for her friend Landan. We have a shoebox full of thirty-something cards that have been filled out meticulously, but those won’t do. Landan deserves something unique.

  Part of me wants to argue the idea that Landan might not really exist. I certainly didn’t see that name on the list of kids when I filled out the Valentine’s cards, but Bailey’s quite adamant. So I drop my purse on the floor, pull some construction paper out of a kitchen drawer, and draw a giant heart with glue. After dumping a handful of purple glitter on the design, I write the name Landan and tell her it will have to do.

  Ten minutes later, I drop Bailey off at day care only to have her run that paper directly to one of the teachers. Lana. Seems like I should have seen that one coming. I’m sure poor Lana will forevermore assume I’m slightly off, since I can’t spell her name.

  I’m pretty sure that’s going to be the worst part of my day, but that turns out to be incorrect. When I come back from the restroom before third period, there is a giant heart-shaped box on my desk that is presumably full of chocolate. Chocolate that is probably delicious and would stop my stomach from growling, since I didn’t have time to eat my breakfast. Chocolate from some secret admiring source, because it’s Valentine’s Day and things don’t just happen to appear randomly like that.

  My mind rolls through the possibilities. Mr. Jennings, maybe? I mean, we’re only friends who happen to share the same moniker, but he might have done it as a gesture of goodwill or something. Coach Andy? We’re not exactly close or anything, but he did comment the other day that I had great volleyball player legs. I think it was a compliment. Then again, maybe he was trying to recruit me for some faculty team.

  “Hey, Alexis?”

  My eyes drift to the doorway, where Mr. Westlake has his hand wrapped around the side of the door and is smiling in my direction. Benjamin. He’s kind of attractive, in a Mario Lopez kind of way. If I squint really hard.

  “Oh,” I mumble as I nearly trip on the foot of the desk. “Hey, Ben. How are things in the English department?” I can’t help glancing down at the chocolate. Was it Benjamin?

  “Pretty good. Didn’t see you this morning. Everything okay?”

  He was looking for me. Very interesting.

  “Sure, just running a little late. Was there something you needed?”

  “Nope. Just wanted to make sure you knew about the staff meeting. Talk to you later.” He knocks his knuckles against the door as he steps away, and I drag my fingertips over the heart-shaped box, slightly perplexed.

  “I hope you don’t mind me sitting that on your desk, Miss Jennings,” Rose speaks up from the first row. “Too tempting to have it sitting on my desk through the whole class period.”

  A couple of the girls next to her snicker, because they know I’m pathetic, thinking I have some random secret admirer. To tell the truth, I’m not sure what’s worse: the fact that I have no one who is remotely interested in me, or the fact that I thought someone actually might be.

  “Delivery,” I hear just behind me, and I turn to see LeeAnn from the front office step up to my desk. She places a dozen white tulips with pink feathery patterns decorating their petals onto my desk, as though she wants to drive a final nail into my coffin.

  “Beautiful,” I comment rather absently, glancing around the room to try to decide who the lucky recipient might be.

  “Yes, they are,” LeeAnn confirms. “Variegated tulips are so gorgeous. They mean you have beautiful eyes, you know.”

  “Well, I’m sure some lucky lady will appreciate them,” I tell
her with a self-deprecating smile.

  She shakes her head as she lifts her eyes skyward. “You should. They’re stunning.”

  For a second my heart skips a beat, but I’m not sure if it’s because I’m excited about the flowers, or because I’m worried that it’s an elaborate prank. Still, I have to look, don’t I?

  Sure enough, the card says Alexis Jennings. Plucking it from its perch atop the gorgeous petals, I glance out at the girls in my class. “Well, there you go,” I announce as though it was all a big joke. If it were a joke it would definitely be on me, but I do try to maintain some semblance of authority in my classroom. Outwardly, anyway.

  I lift the flap on the little cream-colored envelope and pull out the rectangular piece of cardstock that’s teeming with hearts of various shades of red and pink. Just four words on the card, but my eyes immediately swim in tears.

  Love you Mommy. Bailey

  One of the male students makes a smart remark about my sappy boyfriend making me cry, and I laugh it off as I tuck the card safely in my top desk drawer. I know they’re from my parents, but I simply keep that knowledge to myself, along with the emotion that rises up in my throat.

  “Autumn Avenue Medical, Crystal speaking.”

  “Mom.” I finish tidying up my desk, pull my purse out of the bottom drawer, and close it with my foot as I stand. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

  “Aw, happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart. Did you call just to tell me that? That’s really thoughtful.” Her voice changes to a whisper. “You’re really not supposed to call me at work, you know. Personal calls.”

  Of course, no breaking of the rules. Ever. But this isn’t even breaking, just slightly bending.

  “I know, and I won’t talk long. I just wanted to say thank you for the flowers.”

  “What flowers?”

  “The flowers I got at school today?” I turn the lights off as I step into the hall, listening to the sound of my feet tap against the cold tile in the deserted corridor. “Never mind, Dad must have sent them.”

  “I doubt that. We don’t have any money to spare right now, and he’s been at work all day too.”