Country Music Cowboy

by Sasha Summers

  Loretta swallowed hard, staring at the candy in her lap. “Let’s just chalk up my emotional outburst as a sleep-deprived rant and forget it ever happened.”

  “Okay.” Krystal paused. “But I feel like I need to say this much. I get where you’re coming from. I do. And there are days when I look at Jace and I know it’s going to fall apart because, honestly, why would he stay with me? I’m rude and bossy and opinionated and I don’t admit when I’m wrong—”

  “All things I love,” Jace interrupted. “Especially getting you to admit when you’re wrong.”

  “Which isn’t very often.” Krystal shook her head. “But then he looks at me and it makes sense. I breathe easier when he’s around. He’s…gravity. I know that I’d rather go through hell with him than without.”

  This was why she didn’t do feelings. It got awkward. How could you have a conversation based on something so insubstantial and subjective? To Emmy Lou and Krystal, love was good and purposeful.

  “Shark octopus time,” Krystal squealed, pressing play.

  Loretta fluffed up the pillows and stared at the absolute mess of a movie they were watching. Around the time the thing had walked onto land to go after the girl in the bikini, Loretta drifted off.

  She stirred the moment the light clicked off. She sat up, her heart slamming against her chest.

  “Loretta?” Travis sank onto the bed. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he murmured, his scent—mint and leather—flooding her still sleepy senses. “I’m getting my peanut nougat chocolate thing and I’ll be on my way.”

  She laughed. “I’m pretty sure that’s not the name.”

  “No?” He chuckled. “Guess it would be a little hard to fit on the wrapper.”

  She smiled into the dark.

  “It was my idea.” Travis cleared his throat. “Coming tonight.”

  She held her breath, waiting.

  “If it was a bad call, I’m sorry.”

  Her hand moved across the blanket until she found what she was looking for. His hand. Warm. Solid. “It wasn’t.” There was a fragile intimacy between them—held together by the safety of the dark and their hushed voices.

  His hand turned over, his fingers threading with hers.

  “I’ve been thinking about what you said.” He swallowed. “I know how you feel about honesty—we’re on the same page there.”

  Except I lied to you. She hated herself a little then. She had lied to him.

  “What about respect? And loyalty. My father said those are the three things that support a relationship. Instead of worrying about the ‘L’ word, maybe give a chance to the man willing to give you those three things—that inspires those feelings in you.” His fingers slid from hers. “You deserve that, Loretta.”

  She managed to hold back her tears until after the door clicked closed behind Travis. All this time she’d fought to hold on to her heart, he’d never once said anything about having feelings for her. She’d been thankful for that. It was easier and safer to keep things the way they were. That’s what she wanted, wasn’t it? No risks. No pain. No more loss…

  She didn’t want to lose Travis. He was…worth the risk. If he cared—even the slightest bit—and she was too scared to speak up, she’d lose him anyway.

  ***

  Travis was glad he’d had a meeting with Archie that morning. He’d cleared his head, worked through the goal, come up with a plan—generally made himself believe that he could do this and, somehow, it’d be okay. Not right away, but eventually. Maybe. He had set three spots at the kitchen table. Himself, Momma, and Daddy. At this point, he couldn’t bear to keep his father in the dark. He hadn’t quite figured if or how he should be the one to tell his father about Sawyer—but that was none of Momma’s business.

  “What’s cooking?” Krystal asked, pushing through the kitchen door, a bouquet of flowers in her arms.

  “Lasagna.” He barely spared her a glance. He’d played nice the night they’d converged on Loretta’s room because he didn’t have the nerve to go alone. But after that, he’d been keeping his distance. By now, he had no doubt that his sisters knew something was up. And since neither of them had dared to bring it up, he began to think they might know what he was upset about. Until one of the three of them stepped up, there was no hope of easing the tension between them.

  “Lasagna?” Her brows rose.

  “Don’t get too excited.” Travis sighed. “It’s frozen.”

  Krystal smiled as she pulled a blue glass vase from the cabinet. “Who’s coming?”

  He saw her glance at the table. “Momma.”

  She almost dropped the vase. “Here?”

  He nodded.

  “And?”

  “Daddy.” He rearranged the silverware but they still didn’t look right.

  “Why?” She was frowning. “Do you think that’s smart? I mean, Daddy has his surgery tomorrow morning—”

  “I’m not sure how lunch today will affect his surgery tomorrow?” He glanced at his sister.

  “No.” She shook her head.

  “Ooh, what smells so good?” Emmy Lou asked, breezing into the kitchen with a grocery sack. “Garlic?”

  “Lasagna,” Travis repeated.

  “Who is coming?” Just like Krystal, Emmy Lou gave the table a quick look.

  He turned. “Momma is coming. Daddy is joining us so I don’t do or say something I’ll regret.” He ran his fingers through his hair, his agitation mounting.

  “What’s happened?” Emmy Lou asked, crossing to him. “Is everything okay?”

  “This isn’t about Sawyer.” Travis frowned, watching them both turn red. “This is about Loretta. And Momma.”

  Krystal recovered first. “What about Loretta and Momma?”

  Travis walked across the room, opened the far drawer, and pulled out the manila folder Sawyer had handed him after their morning run. “This is everything Momma’s using against Loretta.”

  “For what?” Emmy Lou asked, sinking into one of the kitchen chairs.

  “That’s what we’re going to find out.” He shrugged.

  Krystal opened the cabinet and pulled out two more plates.

  “I don’t need you two to stay,” he argued.

  Emmy Lou looked ready to cry but Krystal rolled her eyes and ignored him, setting two extra places and fixing the silverware all the way around the table.

  Krystal made biscuits, Emmy Lou cut up fruit for dessert and mixed fresh lemonade, and Travis tried not to overthink what needed to be said.

  When the tap-tap of Momma’s stilettos echoed down the hall, the three of them paused long enough to exchange a look. She burst in, all smiles and perfume.

  Travis couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t considered his mother dazzling. She’d always had this magnetic quality about her. She liked to say you could draw more flies with honey than vinegar. That wasn’t true. Not when it came to Momma, anyway. She made her mark through fear. Sure, in the beginning she was sugar-coated enough. That’s how she lured folks in—it was only afterward that they realized it was all a trap.

  “I didn’t know I’d get to see you all.” Momma’s bright blue eyes barely touched on Krystal.

  “We’d stopped by to leave flowers and crosswords for Daddy.” Emmy Lou smiled. “It smells so good we invited ourselves to stay.”

  “I’m glad you did,” Momma said. “Where is that handsome husband of yours?”

  Emmy Lou kept Momma distracted with wedding photo proofs, updates on the tour, and Watson stories. Emmy Lou ignored the fact that Momma couldn’t stand the cat.

  “Afternoon,” Daddy said, his voice scratchy.

  “Oh Hank, you sound rough.” Momma frowned. “Nothing too serious, I hope?”

  Daddy shook his head. “Nothing to fret over.”

  “Good. Good. I know the kids will take good car
e of you until you’re through this.” Travis couldn’t detect anything but sincerity in his mother’s tone.

  Food was passed, drinks were poured, and Travis was trying to remember his original opener. Lucky for him, Momma got things started.

  “And where is your pretty little house guest?” she asked, cutting the lasagna into tiny bites.

  “Margot’s here. She and Loretta are on a conference call with the Wheelhouse people.” Travis took a long sip of lemonade and dove in. “Speaking of Loretta, I was wondering what you think of her, Momma?”

  “She’s a sweet, sad thing.” Momma set her fork down. “I can’t say I’m not worried a bit. The last thing you need is getting involved with someone who has that sort of history.”

  History.

  “What history?” Hank asked, frowning.

  “Well, Hank honey, the poor girl doesn’t exactly have the best luck, now does she?” Momma smiled. “Her father, her mother, poor Johnny…”

  “What about them?” Krystal asked.

  Momma cleared her throat. “Johnny’s not the only one who’s struggled with drugs and alcohol.” She shook her head, picking up her lemonade. “Does she drink or do drugs? I only ask because I don’t want that sort of thing around you, Travis.” She smiled. “And now this mess with her father. I hope it won’t make things harder on her.”

  “I’m trying to figure out what it is you object to about her, Momma.” Travis sat back in his chair.

  “I have no problem with her,” Momma assured him. “I just want what’s best for you.”

  “And what if Loretta’s best for me?” he asked.

  “This is what I was worried about.” Momma dropped her napkin on her plate. “You are in no place to be thinking about a relationship, Travis. And not with someone like Loretta Gram, for goodness sake. She’d bring you down, son. And when that happens, how long do you think it will be before you start drinking?” She shook her head. “Look at her life, Travis. You can’t deny there’s a pattern.”

  “Is that why you went to see her?” Travis asked. He stood, headed to the drawer for the manila envelope he’d stored minutes before. “Sawyer saw you leaving.”

  “Oh he did, did he?” his mother snapped. “How convenient. And where is he? I’d love to hear what he thinks he saw.”

  “Sawyer’s taking some time off.” Time he’d more than earned off. But, with all that had come out, would Sawyer come back? If he didn’t, were he and Emmy Lou and Krystal supposed to pretend he didn’t exist? That was a whole other can of worms they’d deal with. Later.

  “Travis?” His mother waved a hand in front of his face. “Sawyer said what, exactly?”

  “He said you left and Loretta was very upset.” He placed the envelope on the table. “He also put this together for me. A copy of all the information you collected on Loretta.”

  “I won’t apologize for trying to learn more about the woman you and your father have brought into our home.” She folded her arms over her chest. “I’m your mother. I can’t help that I worry about you.”

  “Momma.” Travis shook his head, momentarily dumbfounded. “Worrying means a talk or a card or a text message. Worrying does not mean compiling a file complete with sealed childhood court records. Why do you need this information? Why would anyone need this information? Unless you’re going to work for the CIA or FBI.”

  But his mother didn’t budge.

  “A couple of days after your visit with Loretta, her father is in town, drunk, and causing a scene.”

  His mother’s eyes narrowed.

  “It didn’t take too long to see who bought Donnie Gram his airplane ticket and his hotel room. Even if I could find a way to rationalize you digging through her past, I can’t get past this. You brought her father there.” He swallowed hard. “You set this up, for what, as a warning? Some sort of power trip? Why?”

  “Why?” she snapped. “I wanted her to stay away from you, Travis. Because she’s not good enough for you. Because she’s the sort of woman who preys on men like you—”

  “Men like me?” Travis shook his head. “Weak? Vulnerable? About to fall off the wagon? In need of protection? Someone who needs looking after?” He shot a look at his sisters then. “I can’t tell you how much that pisses me off. I’ve busted my ass to get sober, busted my ass to stay sober. I don’t miss meetings, I check in, and I take care of myself. I do that. I’ve committed to that. I don’t need looking after and I sure as hell don’t need you to tell me what’s best for me.” He was staring at his mother. “Every week Daddy, Em, and Krystal call or go online for the family support session. You don’t even know my sponsor’s name. Part of my recovery is surrounding myself with people who believe in my success and my ability to get there.” He sighed. “You don’t fall into that category. This proves that.” He tapped the file.

  She stood then, no traces of her calm facade in place. “I can’t keep being the bad guy here. Not for you or your sisters or your father. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. All I’ve ever done is love you the only way I know how. But I don’t think there’s a place for me here anymore.” She broke off, waiting—as if they’d stop her or ask her to stay.

  He held his breath, half expecting Emmy Lou to do just that.

  But the silence held.

  “I think maybe you’re right, CiCi.” His father finally spoke up. “I think it’s time we all move on. I’ll get those divorce papers drawn up and we’ll go from there.”

  Travis knew it was the right thing, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. All of them. Messed up or not, they’d been a family. Now that was ending and they’d all have to find a way to come to terms with it.

  From there, it was all slow motion. Momma leaving. Daddy staring straight ahead. Emmy Lou crying. Krystal cleaning up.

  It was done.

  But none of them felt good about it.

  At the moment, he felt like shit. “Dad?” His voice was low. “That, a divorce, is between you and Momma. I never intended this to happen. I wanted you to know what she’d done because I…I don’t want there to be any more secrets between us.”

  His father looked him in the eye. “I think that’s a damn fine idea.” His voice was unsteady. “I hate to think about all the secrets that have slowly chipped away at our family.”

  Travis glanced at his sisters again.

  “But I need you to know that I know you’ve got yourself sorted. There was a change in you the day you came home, but it was Johnny’s death that clinched it. The morning we all heard about it? I remember your face. I knew then, you’d never go back.” His father took his hand. “Ever since you were little, you set your mind on something and that was that. You wanted to learn to ride a bike, you did it. You wanted to learn the banjo, you did it. You want Loretta Gram, you go after her.” He cleared his throat. “She’s not the sort of woman to drive you to drink. She’s the sort who will whip your ass if you even think about it.”

  Travis chuckled.

  “I need to tell you more often that I’m proud of you.” He squeezed Travis’s hand. “I am. I’m proud of how you’ve weathered this storm. Proud that you’re my son.” By now, his voice was weakening. “And I love you.”

  “I love you too.” Travis squeezed his hand in answer. “But you need to rest your voice now.”

  His father nodded.

  “You want anything, Daddy?” Krystal asked. “Some fruit? Emmy Lou cut up a fruit salad.”

  “Sounds good,” their father wheezed.

  “Dad,” Emmy Lou said. “How about we bring it to you on the back porch, if you’d like?”

  Their father gave a thumbs-up and headed from the kitchen.

  Travis didn’t move. He couldn’t.

  “You did the right thing.” Emmy Lou’s hand rested on his shoulder. “Travis… I—we—can’t bear this. Please, please forgive us.”

  Trav
is ran his hands over his face.

  “You’ve made your point.” Krystal sat across the table, her green eyes pinned on him. “You’re right. We were horrible, micromanaging sisters—”

  “Who can’t lose you, Trav. We can’t,” Emmy Lou said. “It was stupid and wrong not to trust that you could handle it but…I was scared.”

  “You’re going to have to give me some time.” He stood. “I love you both and I know you meant well but what you did means you don’t trust me to stay sober and take care of myself.” He shook his head. “Worse, I hate knowing this and keeping it from Daddy. It’s not okay.”

  “Is Sawyer coming back?” Emmy Lou asked. “He is, isn’t he?”

  Krystal was chewing on the inside of her lip. “If I were him, I wouldn’t. We’ve been nothing but trouble for him from day one.”

  “He said he’d let me know.” Travis ran a hand over his face again. “He’s got some decisions to make. I told him he’d have to tell Daddy the truth if he was going to stay. If he’s leaving, I’m telling Daddy. Either way, the truth is coming out.”

  Emmy Lou and Krystal stared at him, surprised.

  “Daddy deserves to know.” Travis shook his head, beyond frustrated. “How can you think otherwise?”

  Emmy Lou shook her head. “You’re right.”

  “One more thing, Trav.” Krystal paused. “The day you disappeared with Sawyer?”

  The day Sawyer had been a badass and helped track down the incredibly thorough information his mother had collected on Loretta.

  “We were all freaking out.” Krystal sighed. “Jace even called Archie. You don’t just disappear like that.”

  He nodded. “Okay.” He didn’t like it, but it made sense.

  “Loretta said you wouldn’t drink. She was adamant about it.”

  “She was.” Emmy Lou agreed. “You might want to consider keeping her around because she believes in you.”

  He smiled. It felt good knowing Loretta believed in him.

  It was only later, when they were sitting on the back porch, that Travis went back through the conversation with his mother. With any luck, there’d be some big reveal that gave him hope about Loretta but that hadn’t happened. Yes, she’d stayed away from him after Momma had threatened her but it had everything to do with protecting her career—and nothing to do with protecting him. But then she’d been honest with him since the beginning. And, as much as his heart wanted more, he respected that.