Playing for Hearts

by Debra Kayn

  “Got it,” he said.

  Coach slapped him on the back. “Focus.”

  “Right.” He pushed away, and raised his arms above his head to stretch.

  Keeping his muscles warm and loose, he jumped in place on his skis, constantly moving, and keeping his body ready. He ignored the other men coming up the lift. He’d ski, finish, and make his exit. No one expected him to wait around in the cold for the others to take their turn.

  He had no desire to know where he placed. One of the coaches always called and kept him abreast of the results.

  For him, skiing was an individual sport. He supported and cheered his teammates from the U.S. on, but when the scores came in, it was him against the clock. Exactly how he preferred it.

  “Santiago to the platform,” the announcer spoke over the speaker.

  He skied over to the gate, and nodded at the guy manning the entrance. In precise steps, he climbed the platform and stood behind the flyaway gate that was remotely controlled by the clock. He rolled his head to each shoulder, loosening his neck muscles.

  Then he studied the ramp. The first event on a clean surface came with advantages. He had a smooth entrance and he’d gain speed faster. But there was always the worry that his foot would slide. Because the other skiers’ markings were absent, he could easily misjudge the jump point. Too early, and he wouldn’t gain enough height. Too late, and he’d shoot too far.

  He had to leave the ramp at the perfect spot, timing everything to the perfect dismount or risk injury to himself. He’d be lucky to walk away with a low score. Alpine skiing was an unforgiving sport. Precision meant everything.

  Unaware that he’d even been looking, he spotted a pink splash among the red, white, and blue below the landing on the other side of the fence. Adrenaline fueled him and he knew without a doubt Dana had come to watch the way she’d promised.

  He let his poles hang from his wrists, grabbed the railing, and slid back and forth, tracking the snow pack to give him enough traction and side support to push off. Once his tips tilted, he was on his own.

  “Thirty seconds,” the loudspeaker said.

  He gripped the handles of his poles held them in front of him, points back, and forced himself to look away from Dana and eye the ramp. He would look neither down nor up, but straight ahead. From here on, his eyes stayed in front of him.

  “Ten seconds. Set.”

  He crouched. His heart raced, but his muscles stayed loose. He’d done this a million times. It was time to fly.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The crowd was bigger, louder, and more tense than the last time Dana had stood at the fence, but she came prepared. The hot coffee in her gloved hands kept her warmer. The fact that Crista and Bruce acted as if she hadn’t had a meltdown earlier or duped them into believing she was married for real helped her feel better.

  She believed Juan was innocent, and he hadn’t taken the woman to their room. The security guard promising to keep their suite safe enforced the emotional toll Juan went through when fans went to great depth to meet him. She wasn’t the only one who’d been compromised. But Juan had come after her, and given her hope.

  She’d heard something in his voice that made her believe there was something more he wanted to tell her. For that reason alone, she’d concluded that she had to tell him the truth the moment they both had time to talk more than five minutes.

  She loved him.

  Today was one of the worst days of her life. To believe, even for a short period, that Juan could forget about her so easily hurt. She didn’t want to go on with her life wondering if things would end differently if she’d confessed to having fallen in love with him.

  Even with the chance that Juan only saw her as a friend, and wanted the annulment in the end, at least she would have tried. Over the last month, she’d discovered a life schedule didn’t mean much when the person in her life meant more to her than when she reached superficial goals that meant little to her but bragging rights.

  She’d rather have a month with Juan than a marriage to Jace or any other guy. For her, Juan was the perfect man. He completed her. He made her feel safe and appreciated. She swallowed. No one had ever held her with such tenderness that tears blurred her vision, and she let herself rely on him.

  Juan did all those things and much more for her, and he needed to know it.

  “Juan’s on the ramp,” Bruce said.

  She set her cup on the ground. Her hands shook, and she’d never be able to hold onto the coffee once Juan exited the gate.

  “The wind is picking up,” Crista said, holding onto the hood of her coat.

  “Oh, God.” Dana gulped. “Is there a way we can let him know?”

  “He knows,” Bruce said. “He’s a pro. He’s skied in worse conditions. He’ll be fine.”

  “Juan will kick ass, just wait. He’s great at feeling out the slope.” Crista linked her arm with Dana. “Cross your fingers.”

  Dana couldn’t even do that much with her gloves on, but she chanted Juan’s name to herself. When the buzzer rent the air, she was prepared this time, though she swallowed air. Glued to the sight of Juan coming down the slope, she watched and waited. She had no idea if he was going too fast or too slow, she only soaked him in.

  He was the picture perfect example of an athlete. Motivating, captivating, and inspiring. She’d never get used to how sexy he was on the snow and off the mountain. She stretched as Juan came off the ramp and flew. He twisted once, twice, and the rear of his skis crossed, stopping his motion. She gasped, shaking her head, wanting to deny what was happening, but she’d seen it.

  One miniscule mistake. Whether it was the wind, or bad timing, Juan couldn’t pull into the turn. Then he descended, and fear flooded her mind.

  He landed skis first and careened to his side, flipping and turning. The snow billowed into the air, blocking him from view as he tumbled down the side of the mountain. She pushed forward, but the fence held her back. “Juan!” she screamed.

  “Fuck,” Bruce muttered, wrapping his arms around her from behind and pulling her away.

  She fought him. “Let me go!”

  “Sweetheart, the rescue team is already on him. Let’s get back to the medi-center. Then we’ll wait to find out what happened. There’s nothing we can do for him. We’d only get in the way of the doctors. Let the professionals take care of him. He’s got the best team looking out for him.” Bruce tugged her along.

  She stumbled, glancing over her shoulder, needing to see Juan. A fall at that speed could —

  “Dammit, don’t go there, girl.” Crista grabbed her other arm. “He’ll be all right. It’s Juan we’re talking about. He’s tough and stubborn.”

  Outside the medi-center trailer, Dana spotted Ana and Maria. She broke free and ran toward them. She huddled them both in her arms, absorbing their cries as they worried about their son and brother.

  “Stay strong,” Dana whispered. “He’ll be fine.”

  “They took him out on a stretcher,” Juan’s mom said, wiping her face with her glove. “There was nothing I could do to protect him.”

  “He’s strong and he knows what to do if something goes wrong, right?” Dana rubbed Ana’s back through her heavy coat. “He’ll be fine.”

  “Do you think they’ll let us in to see him?” Maria moved over closer to Ana, and took her mom’s hand.

  “I don’t know what they do … Juan never talked about what would happen if … ” Dana blew out her cheeks. “We’ll wait. If someone comes out, we’ll ask how we gain clearance. That’s all we can do is wait and be positive.”

  Her stomach flip-flopped, and she gazed at Crista for guidance. Dana had no idea how they ran things here and apparently Crista didn’t have a clue either, because she shook her head.

  Waiting to hear if Juan was even in the building or if they’d taken him straight to the hospital was the only thing they could do. She rubbed Ana’s free hand, keeping her warm. Juan’s mother shook from fear, and it wouldn’t
do her any good to make herself sick.

  “He’ll be okay,” Dana repeated again, to remind herself not to jump to conclusions. “That’s what we all have to believe.”

  Ana nodded. “He will. I know he will. Juan’s a good man. He’s worked hard his whole life for this moment.”

  “Hell, yeah,” Bruce mumbled. “He’s in top shape. He’ll be fine.”

  Thankful to have everyone around her, Dana knew Juan had to be okay. He had too many people who loved and cared about him. Too many people pulling for him.

  “I’m going to call Shauna. She can call the others and let them know what’s going on. I don’t want her, Grayson, Dominic, and Diana to hear about this on the news.” Crista walked off and made the phone call in private.

  Seconds turned into minutes, and even supported by Juan’s people, the longer Dana waited the more desperate the situation seemed. She needed to see Juan, to touch him, to brush his hair off his forehead and trace the white scar on his eyebrow that he got when he was ten and fell riding a skateboard. She wanted to make sure he was warm and comfortable. If he was hurting, she could make him laugh and forget about the pain.

  How many times had she amused him without even trying? She sniffed. She’d give anything to hold his hand right now.

  She closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay. Desperate for him to be okay, she’d beat him to the lawyer and get an annulment first thing, if it would guarantee that he was all right.

  The door opened on the trailer, and a man wearing a blue suit stepped outside. His mouth was set, and there was no emotion in his eyes. “Dana Santiago?”

  She jumped. “Me. Right here.”

  The man motioned her over. She squeezed Ana’s hand before hurrying toward the door.

  “Come in.” The man stepped back and held the door open for her.

  Dana stood at the threshold. “Are you sure you weren’t asking for Juan’s mother? I can get — ”

  “No, Mrs. Santiago. Your husband gave explicit instructions that he wanted you.” The man laid his hand on her shoulder and urged her through the door.

  She stood inside, searching for Juan, but he was nowhere in sight. The man walked past her, pointing for her to follow. She stuck to his back. In another area, she heard a man’s deep voiced cussing, and the relief was so swift and deep, she grabbed onto the person who had come for her.

  “He’s right in here, ma’am,” he said.

  “Thank you.” She stepped inside.

  Juan sat on a gurney, a scowl on his face. She scanned his whole body, making sure he still had all his legs and arms. Finally, her gaze landed on the icepack bandaged to his shoulder. Her heart sank. He’d hurt his arm again.

  Juan continued to argue with the two men in the room without looking at her. She approached the bed, and hooked her finger with Juan’s finger.

  He turned his head, noticing her for the first time, and blurted, “I’m fine.”

  “That’s good to know,” she whispered, glad to see him sitting, talking, and arguing.

  For a while there, she’d imagined the worst while waiting to find out what happened after she saw him go down. She wasn’t sure she’d survive if something happened to him.

  “They want me to pull out of the last event.” His mouth hardened. “I’m going to ski.”

  She moistened her lips. “Your shoulder?”

  “A little swelling and stiffness, but it’s okay.” He lifted her arm, showing her. “I can work around it. I’ve done it before, and I can do it now. My final run is in an hour. I have to compete.”

  A man with gray hair moved closer. “He’s irritated his rotary cuff on the site where he had surgery nine months ago. The swelling won’t go down without steroids. Of course, he’s refusing a shot, because it’ll disqualify him from competing. As a doctor, I’d recom — ”

  “I’m skiing.” He stood, winced, and struggled to put his good arm into his polyurethane unibody suit.

  “Juan … ” Dana put her hands on his stomach. “Maybe you should listen to him.”

  “No.” He pulled his arm fully into the suit and left his injured arm out. “Nothing is going to stop me from my last run.”

  “But Juan … ” She stroked his face. “It’s your body. You only have one, and you don’t want to further damage your shoulder.”

  Her words meant nothing to him. He’d never back down from a challenge, because that was the type of man she’d fallen in love with. He took care of himself, and her. She sighed. Proud to a fault.

  “I need to do this. If I quit now it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life. I have plans, and those plans don’t involve forfeiting. I’m not a quitter, and I’m not going to start now. I won’t go out this way.” He stared at her intently.

  Worry and fear flooded her, but there was something else making her stand on her tiptoes to kiss him. “Okay, honey. Let’s get you ready to win.”

  His chin lifted, and he grabbed her hand. His grasp was almost painful, but right now, she needed that reassurance that he was okay. He led her through the trailer and outside, where he was swarmed by his family and friends. She stood back, as far as his grip on her would allow, and let him calm everyone down and reassure them that he was okay. The relief on everyone’s faces brought tears to hear eyes.

  He was loved. Not only by those who knew him well, but by everyone back in United States waiting to see if their superstar would compete. He was more than their chance at bringing home the gold. He validated that hard work, dedication, and never giving up would pay off to achieving their dream.

  “You’re really okay?” Ana patted him all over, including tenderly poking the arm that hung out of his ski suit.

  “I’m good, Mom.” Juan kissed his mom’s cheek. “Stop worrying.”

  “We better get inside, and find you a new suit,” Dana said.

  She was shaking, whether from nerves or the frigid temperatures she didn’t know, but she did know Juan must be freezing. Only half dressed with his bare arm hanging out of his suit, he appeared oblivious to the cold. She looped her arm around his waist and smiled at the others.

  “Save me a spot by the fence. I’ll hurry back after I make sure Juan’s delivered safely to the dressing room and gets a new suit,” she said.

  Crista approached Juan. “I called Shauna, she filled in everyone else. They all want me to send you their best and tell you to kick ass.”

  Juan leaned over and kissed Crista’s cheek. “That’s the plan.”

  “And I have good news.” Crista clasped her hands in front of her and grinned. “When I called, they were all at the hospital. Shauna is in labor. She’s doing great, no problems at all. Grayson is driving her nuts and asking her every few seconds if she’s okay, but Dominic is there to manhandle him. Diana is coaching her through contractions. They said someone would call me as soon as they have any news.”

  Juan’s face softened and he smiled. “Sweet. A baby in our group.”

  Dana stood hypnotized by the change in Juan. His body relaxed and the smile came from his heart.

  Juan waved off the person on the ATV waiting to drive them to the lodge. She and Juan moved together to take the walk together. She was determined to not let him out of her sight until it was absolutely necessary.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to ride?” she asked. “You’re barely dressed.”

  He shook his head. “I need to walk to keep the stiffness from settling in, and the cold will do my shoulder good.”

  Regardless, she kept her arm around him and made sure he walked slowly. Maybe she was greedy, but she wasn’t ready to watch him attempt another jump. It was one thing to attempt the ramp while in top shape, another when he was coming back from a fall and a hurt shoulder. She needed this time with him. Any sign that he had second thoughts, and she’d stand beside him and support any decision he made.

  “That’s good news about your friend having a baby.” She glanced up at him. “Are you planning on going and seeing them when the games are over?”r />
  “Eventually.” He pulled her closer into his side. “You’d like them. Grayson and Shauna are … they’re perfect. They deserve all the happiness a baby will bring into their life.”

  She refrained from replying. She had no idea if she’d get a chance to meet them, because Juan hadn’t expressed any interest in talking about what would happen after the Olympics.

  They reached the lodge door, and Juan dropped her hand and reached for the door. She stepped in front of him. “Can you wait a minute? I need to tell you something.”

  “Can’t it wait until afterward?” he asked.

  She swallowed, knowing it was now or never. If Juan was brave enough to get back up on the mountain and fly through the air on skis, she could tell him the truth. “No. It’s important.”

  “Didn’t I promise you that we’ll talk later?” He ran the back of his fingers over her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. You’ll have lots of time to tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

  She captured his hand and put his fingers between her gloves, rubbing warmth into them. “You did, but I need to tell you something and I can’t wait. I don’t want to tell you afterward, because you’ll be busy and I’ll go … ”

  “Babe … ” He squeezed her hand.

  “I love you,” she blurted.

  Juan hooked her neck and brought her forward. He kissed her lips, her cheeks, her nose, and pulled back. “I know.”

  She waited expectantly for some kind of validation that he was feeling the same thing, or she wasn’t reading their relationship the wrong way, but he volunteered nothing more.

  “Okay, well, we better get you inside and warmed.” She stepped back, keeping her disappointment out of her voice.

  Juan remained in front of the door. “Will you do me a favor?”

  “Of course,” she whispered.

  “I haven’t told anyone, but I want you to be the first to know.” He stretched his lips over his teeth, and he gazed over to the left toward the slope.