Those You Trust: compelling women's psychological fiction

by Bernie Steadman

  Mr Andreiou agreed to lock the front and back doors when he left, so I lugged bag and laptop back down the road and along the deserted promenade to the other end of the main street, where there were lights on already in the hotel, and a couple of men were drinking at the bar. I put my stuff in the pleasant corner room they gave me, had a long hot shower and changed into my mustard cashmere jumper and black jeans. The nights were cold so early in the year, and the threat of rain hung in the air. I wrapped the beautiful hand-knitted woollen shawl I had found in grandmother’s cupboard around my shoulders and took the laptop down to the bar, where the wifi connection was good. There was a free table in the window. I could watch the sunset and get on with some work.

  I was feeling pretty low as I set out my laptop and folders, lower than I’d been since arriving in the town. I was trying so hard with my little house, and now it was in a terrible mess. The thing with Leo had upset me more than it should. Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for this life, after all. Maybe Will… I pulled myself up short. I recognised that voice. That man in my ear again. Deep breaths the therapist had said; breathe him out and away. So I did the breathing, and I did feel calmer after a few minutes. I looked out at the darkening sky, and watched thunderclouds build to the north.

  I do know that it’s sometimes necessary for you to be taken completely out of your comfort zone to realise what a spoilt, privileged life you’ve led. And I understood that lesson all too clearly sitting on my own in a bar in a foreign country that I couldn’t yet call my own. I was so used to having everything managed for me that I panicked at the slightest obstacle – it was only a bit of plaster dust, after all. It would clean up. I had to get a grip. After all, this was a real adventure I was on, and it was the rest of my life, happening now.

  Cheered, I ordered a gin and tonic and dived into the final design changes to meet my latest client’s brief. My restaurant design was well underway for a Scottish hotel and I’d really had fun with the tartan and leather brief – very gentleman’s club. Funnily enough, I could manage all that stuff when it was for business; the delays, builders not turning up, clients changing their minds at the last minute. It was my private life I’d struggled with. Was still struggling with.

  The waiter brought nuts and olives with the drink, and they were good. I nibbled and sipped and became so involved in the work I didn’t see the black SUV draw up and a familiar figure get out. It was only when he stood at the bar and ordered a drink that I realised it was Leo. Of course, where else would he stay? With my new spirit of not being a wimp, I slammed the laptop lid down and stood up. I’d apologise for running off and being nosy and then it was up to him.

  He turned as I approached him and gave a half-smile.

  ‘I’m sorry about this afternoon,’ I said. ‘I didn’t mean to be rude.’

  Leo shrugged. ‘It was nothing. I’m a little raw about my wife, is all. Can I get you a drink?’ He crinkled his eyes at me.

  I ordered another gin.

  It seemed pointless to carry on trying to work, so I took it all back to the bedroom, checked myself out in the mirror and decided to see what the night might bring. But whatever happened, I wasn’t going to let him mention his wife, and I wasn’t going to talk about Will either.

  The night brought far more than I expected.

  Leo was charming and invited me to eat with him as I’d bought lunch, so I could hardly refuse, could I? We chatted and drank a little and I relaxed. There was something a little off, a little guarded about Leo, but he was good company; I don’t think I’d laughed so much for years. The low mood evaporated, and I allowed myself a few little fantasies involving Leo Arakis.

  After two gins and lamb moussaka, half a bottle of wine and the obligatory free carafe of raki, which we foolishly finished so that it was immediately topped up again, I was drunk. Giggly drunk.

  The dining room emptied sometime after ten o’clock so we moved back to the bar, where we ordered coffee and sank into a sofa.

  ‘Thank you for this evening, Anna,’ said Leo, his hand over mine. ‘I was hurting earlier today.’ His eyes shifted away from mine. ‘I agreed with my wife that we would ask for a divorce on the grounds of my adultery, but…’ – he grabbed hold of the other hand too – ‘I have never been unfaithful to her, never. I want you to believe me.’

  He was staring hard at me, his eyes darting all over my face. I wasn’t quite sure what he wanted. ‘Err… that’s fine, Leo,’ I said, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the confession. ‘You know I don’t really care why you’ve split up, it’s not my business. If you say you’re separated, you’re separated.’ I took my hands back. The bloke was intense. It cooled me off a little. I mean, I fancied him like mad, and my body was giving him, and me, all the right signals. It was just that I knew I could never be involved with Leo, he was too intense for me, and I had been there, done that. So what exactly did I think I was doing?

  His eyes fixed on mine and I had a wobble. So much for never wanting to be involved. It didn’t have to be too serious, did it? We could have some fun without me making a life commitment. After all, I was a free woman. I sat up a little straighter and looked at him properly. As if I might divine his intentions from his face. It’s never worked for me before. Think about this, girl, before you do anything rash, I told myself, but I was already lost.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Leo asked. ‘You look a little cold.’ He took off his jacket and arranged it around my shoulders. He left one arm around my neck, and was so close I could smell Paco Rabanne. Gently, he pulled my head towards him and kissed me on the mouth. ‘I can think of a way to keep us warm,’ he murmured, doing his looking-deep-into-my-eyes thing again. Hypnotising me.

  It was working. I laughed a little, unsure of where this was going, until a long-stifled need to be loved, held, and desired shot up and out of me like a tsunami. No point in resisting. I grabbed hold of his face with both hands and kissed him hard. It was suddenly urgent, a need to get skin on skin, to lose myself for a while. Urgent and exciting.

  I woke in the early dawn, feeling pretty pleased with myself, but also a bit scared. Leo was facing me and breathing evenly, one arm stretched out towards me. Dark eyelashes, a stubble of dark beard, hair curling around his face. Nice. I didn’t want a relationship with Leo, but the sex had been delicious, and maybe he felt the same way? I rolled over and wriggled backwards until I was snuggled against him and waited for him to wake up. It didn’t take long.

  5

  Maria opened the taverna early. It was usually Spiros’ job, as the only customers were fishermen wanting coffee and raki to see them out onto their boats. It gave her a couple of hours to do the other jobs that had to be done to keep the place afloat; kneading bread dough, baking cakes, cooking meals, cleaning. Her work began when it was still dark, but it was usually after nine when tourists and locals rolled down to start their day with a coffee.

  She checked the clock again. It was gone seven. Spiros had been called away by Nikos Kokorakis last night, and she had heard nothing from him. She worried that Spiros was out of his depth with that monster. But what could she do? Everything they had was because of Kokorakis. It was hard to deny him anything.

  Maria sorted food in the cupboards and checked the fridge. She banged the fridge door shut. So typical that Kokorakis had only to snap his fingers and Spiros went running, even though he had the taverna to open. Who was going to feed her chickens, collect the eggs, plant the seeds for summer salad? Buy the vegetables and meat, cook all the food? She banged about a bit more, heating a pot of bitumen-strong coffee and arranging cups, plates and glasses on the counter.

  She served the regulars with bad grace as they sloped in, hardly responding to their idle chat. They soon drank up and shuffled out to catch the morning tide.

  Spiros returned an hour later. She could smell the alcohol on him, and something else. Smoke? ‘Well?’ she demanded. ‘I have been here doing your work, and you just disappear off to do your master’s bidding without a thought as
to how we will manage when I can’t even get to the market.’

  Spiros pulled a hand from his pocket. It was stuffed with bank notes. He grinned at her, swaying slightly.

  Maria’s eyes bulged. ‘How much is that?’

  Spiros dropped the cash onto the counter and began to count. ‘Five hundred euros, Maria Angeliki. For one night’s work.’

  ‘That must have been some job,’ she replied, taking the pile of cash and pushing it deep into her apron pocket. ‘Some job.’ She eyed her husband. He was a little drunk, but the look behind his smiling eyes told her a different story. ‘What did he make you do? Tell me, you know I won’t rest until I know.’

  She sat him on a stool and poured him coffee, adding too much sugar. ‘Drink it.’

  Spiros scrubbed his hands across his face. Behind the smile his eyes were red. ‘We went over to the south coast. Some trouble with a young guy down there not paying his rent.’ He glanced at his wife’s face. ‘Don’t worry, I just had to rough him up a little.’

  ‘And then what? He paid up and you are all good friends?’

  Spiros shook his head and rubbed sore eyes with both hands. ‘No, then we burnt down his bar.’ He drank the coffee in one long draught and peered into the distance. ‘The house next door caught fire as well, but the people are safe. Safe enough.’

  She shook her head slowly. It all figured. ‘So you and your friends destroyed a young man’s business because he got behind with his rent? This is what you have come to?’

  Spiros pushed her away and looked longingly at the raki bottle on its shelf. ‘No, it was an accident.’

  ‘Accident? How do you set a business on fire in an accident?’ She tutted in disgust. ‘You were all drunk, weren’t you?’

  He shrugged. ‘You know that if we hadn’t paid our rent on time all these years, we would have had the same treatment. It’s always the same on the island, you know this, always has been. So less of your complaining and let me get a bit of sleep before the day starts.’ He ducked behind the counter and dragged himself up the narrow stairs.

  ‘The day started two hours ago!’

  Maria stood in the empty taverna, holding a damp cloth, feeling hollow. Spiros had been a good man once, but now look at him. The pawn of a rich man. She surveyed her taverna; it represented all that she had accomplished and achieved in the forty-five years she had been alive, and she felt sick that it all belonged to Kokorakis. A shudder ran through her. Even she had belonged to him once, before she had grown too old for his tastes. She attacked the clean tables, scrubbing at them until the sweat poured from her.

  Maria was relieved to see the spritely Scottish lady, Cathy, heading for the door, clutching her daily English newspaper. She was always good company.

  ‘Kalimera, dear,’ said Cathy and sat in her usual corner so she could see who came and went. ‘You’re working hard.’

  ‘Kalimera, Cathy. You’re early this morning.’

  Cathy smiled. ‘It’s language class, we’ve had to change to mornings because of Cassia’s work and I needed a coffee and a chance to swot up on my homework.’ She took out an old-fashioned exercise book and pen and placed them side by side on the table. ‘I’m not as quick at this as I used to be, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Your Greek is very good, don’t worry. And Cassia is a very nice teacher. Coffee?’

  ‘Ooh, yes, please, and a pastry if you have any.’

  It was as Cathy sipped her coffee and studied her notes, and Maria helped her with her pronunciation, that they saw Anna walking back towards her house escorted by Leo Arakis, who was carrying an overnight bag.

  Cathy’s mouth dropped open. ‘Well,’ she said, through a mouth full of crumbs, ‘that girl is a fast worker, I must say. She’s only known him a few weeks!’

  Maria laughed for the first time that day. ‘She certainly is, and who can blame her, Cathy? He’s very handsome.’

  6

  I allowed Leo to walk me back to the house, but then I sent him packing as there was no way I wanted him to see my dusty disaster. He kissed me out on the street, and I got a sudden pang of embarrassment. All the old ladies, including Mrs Pantelides, would be peeking through their windows. They didn’t have much else to do. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to be seen as part of a couple already. Still, it was a very nice kiss, and a very warm hug, and he promised to see me later, so I decided to stop panicking like a fool and enjoy the feeling. It had been a long time. And I was a single woman, after all. These people knew nothing of my history.

  It was coming up towards nine and I needed to tidy the place, and myself, before language class. Thursdays came around far too regularly in my opinion, and I preferred a late afternoon option, but there you go, we had to have a teacher. Gingerly, I opened the front door. The dust had settled into a white layer covering every surface, but nothing could have put me in a bad mood that morning. It may as well sit there until the builders had finished clearing away and then I could tackle it properly.

  I ran upstairs and put my stuff away safely in the bedroom, deciding on jeans and a cotton jumper for the day. Then I dared the bathroom. It was transformed. The walls were the soft pink of new plaster. They glowed in the morning sun streaming through the tiny window. I was definitely keeping that colour. The roll-topped bath stood away from the wall now that the old plaster was no longer there, and it looked good. I could see how the shower would fit in the corner now that an old cupboard had been removed. It was going to be okay, wasn’t it? I really needed to stop catastrophising everything.

  I balanced the mirror on the window ledge and gave myself a good looking at. It could just have been the walls glowing, of course. Would people know what I’d been up to? I always think you can tell when people have had good sex, there’s a softness to them. The face in the mirror certainly told a different story from the stressed-out old hag of the day before. Funny what a night of passion and an attentive male would do for a girl. I grinned and wondered what on earth I’d done with my language folder, and had a moment of guilt that I’d done very little actual Greek speaking over the week.

  I finally found the folder under the bed and had to run to the town hall to get there on time. I pounded up the steps and made a noisier entrance than I’d have wanted, only to find the class in absolute silence, including Cassia, the teacher. ‘Sorry I’m late,’ I blurted, but I wasn’t, it hadn’t struck ten o’clock yet. ‘Have I missed something?’ I asked, worried that Leo had told them about the night before.

  Cassia’s eyes were swollen and red. She’d been crying, hard. ‘What is it, Cassia?’ I looked to the others for some help. What the hell had happened?

  Cathy spoke first. ‘There was a fire last night, in Paleochora, on the south of the island.’

  ‘Was it her home?’

  ‘No, not Cassia’s house, but that of her brother, Constantinos. The fire has destroyed his home and his business, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Oh no, was it an electrical fault?’ I’d seen the state of some of the wiring on Crete, and it was dangerous. I knelt down next to Cassia and put my hand on her knee.

  Leo cleared his throat. ‘Not exactly, they beat her brother up before they torched his business.’

  ‘Local hoodlums?’ asked Alex, a frown settling between his eyebrows. ‘Though why would they pick on a restaurant owner?’

  ‘No,’ said Cassia. ‘My brother got behind with his rent. I didn’t know how bad it had become, but he ignored the warnings, and…’

  ‘The owner wouldn’t listen?’ said Alex.

  She shook her head. ‘Tino is a wonderful human being, but he’s not good at handling the money side of the business. He’s a cook first and foremost. I do the books for him usually. But he’s had a bad winter. It happens sometimes, but I never thought it would come to this. It is barbaric.’

  Leo interrupted, anger giving an edge to his voice. ‘Why didn’t he pay his rent, Cassia? How did he expect to get away with it? Surely he knows how these things work?’

  I looked
at Leo in a new light. What did I really know about him? I wondered if what he had been patting in his top pocket when we first met really had been a wad of cash to line the pockets of the people who actually ran the town.

  ‘Tino is idealistic,’ whispered Cassia. ‘He thought they would give him more time because he has started a community café to give work to some of the unemployed young people in the town. All profits go to helping local people. He’s not making money from this except for wages. Some of the people he helps may well be the children of the men who burnt down his house, but…’ She shuddered out a long sigh and wiped her eyes.

  Cathy put her arm around Cassia’s shoulders and pulled her to her feet. ‘I think we should cancel the class today, and go and get a coffee. Perhaps there is something we can do to help?’

  Cassia shook her head. ‘No, but thank you for being so kind. There is nothing to do. My brother will go back to our parents in Athens when he is better, and that is that. He will stay with me until then. It is such a shame for his neighbours, who have nothing to do with this. They have lost their home as well. They are elderly people.’ She burst into a fresh bout of sobbing, overwhelmed.

  I was still being a bit dim. ‘But why set fire to the place?’

  ‘They were drunk, Tino said. I doubt they did it on purpose.’

  ‘Same result though,’ said Alex. ‘Local thugs for hire.’

  ‘Well, there is one thing I can do,’ said Leo, rising to his feet and dangling his car keys. ‘I can drive you over the mountain to collect your brother.’

  Cassia glanced up at him. ‘But I can’t ask you to do that.’

  ‘You didn’t ask,’ he said. ‘I offered, and I’d like to help.’ He turned to me. ‘Come with us, Anna?’

  ‘Of course,’ I said, ‘but let’s get a drink first, and give Cassia time to freshen up. Shall we go to Maria’s?’ I saw the look on Cassia’s face, she wanted to go straight away, but a few moments to herself would be better than jumping straight into the car. There wasn’t really a rush anymore, was there? ‘We won’t stay long, Cassia. It will give Leo time to collect the car.’