Secrets of a Sissy Boy: A Gay Grimoire of Modern Magic for Men Who Love Men and the Hags Who Worship Them

by Carolina Dean

  In Hoodoo, and in Southern culture in general, the pig is considered a lucky animal, especially regarding money and finances. Pigs are very resilient; they can live on slop and breed like rabbits! Many folks are known to consume pork on New Year's Day (along with other foods such as collard greens, black-eyed, peas, and cornbread) to ensure wealth and prosperity in the New Year.

  For this reason, piggy banks can often be found on Money and Prosperity Altars to represent the accumulation and storing of monetary funds. In this day and age of electronic banking, credit, and debit cards, few people keep cash in the home anymore and so it is not always easy or even convenient to have spare change to place in a piggy bank. To address this problem, the piggy bank can be fixed to act as a container spell or voodoo doll for your bank account.

  How to "Fix" a Piggy Bank for Prosperity

  Items needed:

  Piggy bank

  Enough change in a variety of denominations to fill the bank

  Your bank account information

  Two-dollar bill

  Irish moss

  Cinnamon chips

  Chamomile

  Red thread

  Lodestone grit

  Plantain root

  Money Come to Me Oil

  Money Stay with Me Oil

  Wealthy Way Oil

  Incense forms of the three aforementioned oils

  Green candle

  Begin by marking a green candle with your name and dressing it with all three of the oils listed above. Next, make one incense cone each of Money Come to Me, Money Stay with Me, and Wealthy Way. Place the cones in the form of an upright triangle with the green candle in the center. Light the candle and incense and pray Psalm 23 (see Appendix E).

  Take a pen and write the success sigil ($$¢¢$$) in the four corners of the two-dollar bill, and then sign your name under the Secretary of the Treasury. In the center of the bill write your bank account number and under this write the name of your bank. Dress the four corners and center of the bill with the condition oils mentioned earlier and then pass it through the incense smoke and say the following prayer:

  With God's blessing and assistance may money flow to me now and always in a steady stream from sources known and unknown so that all my needs are met and more. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  With the two-dollar bill flat before you, place the Irish Moss, Cinnamon chips, Chamomile, Plantain root, and Lodestone on top and fold the bill into a small packet securing it with the red thread. Smoke the packet in the incense and dress the knot with the trio of oils as you repeat your prayer.

  Place the packet in the Piggy Bank (you may have to do this from the bottom where there is usually a larger hole that is used to remove the change). Next, slowly fill the piggy bank with your change and as you do, repeat your prayer for a steady stream of money to flow into your bank account. If you desire, you can designate each coin to represent money coming from a different source.

  When you are done, dress your little piggy with a combination of the oils already mentioned (just a tiny dab each) and polish him up, so he looks all clean and shiny. Place the piggy bank on your money and success altar. If you desire, you may also give your little Piggy a name. I call mine Kevin Bacon.

  Above all, keep him clean and never take any money out of the piggy bank unless it is an emergency and you really need the funds. If you do, be sure to fill it back up as soon as possible. Remember this piggy bank represents your bank account and whatever you do to it, you do to your actual bank account, so you always want to keep it full.

  Securing Your Job

  It is 2016, and there are laws in place that now allow gay people to get married, adopt children, hold down prominent jobs, and generally live our lives openly. However, that does not mean that we are free from the prejudices of others and the consequences that arise out of those prejudices. One of those consequences is either being terminated from our jobs or forced to quit due to bullying or working in an otherwise hostile work environment.

  In the Hyatt material (a compilation of African American folklore collected by amateur folklorist Harry Middleton Hyatt during the 1930s and 40s), an informant provides a recipe for a toby, or mojo bag, that is said to have been used by many folks to impress their coworkers and keep their job. It calls for a whole High John Root, a piece of ladyfinger root (okra), and a lodestone about the size of a butterbean carried in a mojo bag which should be dressed with cinnamon oil.

  For a Rent Boy to Draw Trade

  Not everyone has a 9-5 job where they punch in and out and collect their paychecks on Friday. Sometimes, like their heterosexual counterparts, gay men find themselves working in the sex industry as cam-boys, pornographic actors, go-go boys, exotic dancers, and yes as prostitutes or sex workers, as well.

  As I stated earlier in another part of this book, at one point in my life, I was friends with a prostitute who also happened to be a witch. From her, I learned that sex work is just like any other sales job where you are paid on commission; only the sex worker (and the services he provides) are the product. He is both literally and figuratively selling himself. The objective is to draw as many customers as possible, get the best price for your product, satisfy the customer as quickly as possible and move on to the next client.

  In the past, many sex workers were streetwalkers; that is, they would gather at certain locations or sections of a city where their potential Johns, or clients, would drive up and choose someone they liked, then the two would negotiate a price and seal the deal or not. In the new millennium, many sex workers have joined the electronic age and have chosen to meet (and screen) potential Johns through commercial websites like rentboy.com, online listings such as Craigslist, or social apps like Grindr.

  Whether he walks the streets or attracts customers through the internet, the sex worker who wishes to draw trade should perform the following spell before opening for business. First, he must write his petition, or wish, for a steady stream of customers on the highest denomination bill he has which he received from a previous customer. Next, he should place a small drop of Money Drawing oil on the four corners and center of this bill and then fold it towards himself three times. Now, have him place this petition under a red penis candle marked with the words “steady work” and dressed with Steady Work Oil. Place a whole Jezebel root, which has been dressed with Cleo May Oil, in front of the penis candle. Arrange coins in every denomination (pennies, quarters, nickels, and dimes) in a circle around the penis candle and root. Finally, sprinkle a mixture of powdered sugar and Irish moss over the coins, root, and candle.

  Light the candle and make your petition or prayer saying:

  I am poor and needy. Come quickly, oh Johns. You are my help and my deliverer. Do not delay. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  Adapted from Psalm 70:5, this prayer is often used in Hoodoo to draw money quickly. In addition, the words “come quickly” may be read in two ways: 1) for the client to quickly be drawn to you, and 2) to consummate fast (i.e. to cum or orgasm) so you can move on to the next customer. There’s a reason it is called sex WORK and time is money after all.

  If you meet your clients out on the street or pick them up in bars or some other public place, leave the candle to burn in a safe area (such as your bathtub) while you are out at work. If you meet your clients through the internet, you may wish to place the candle near your computer or laptop.

  When the candle is spent, you may gather one of each denomination of coins, the paper bill, candle, and herbs into a mojo bag and carry it with you to attract a steady stream of customers. Alternately, you may wrap the bill around the Jezebel root (along with some of the Irish moss and sugar) and then cover this with red wax to make a jack ball. If you go this route, you can incorporate some of the leftover wax from your penis candle. Next, wind red thread around and around the ball (wind the thread towards yourself, calling for a steady stream of customers). When the ball is completely covered, you can tie off a tail from which to hang the ball. Dress the ball once a week wit
h a combination of Cleo May, Steady Work, and Money Drawing Oils. To work the ball, hang it by its tail and swing it around and around in wide circles which gradually get smaller and smaller as you make your prayer or petition. When not in use, carry the jack ball, or John ball, in a red mojo bag.

  How to Get Your Sugar Daddy to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth

  Perhaps you have found yourself in a relationship with a man of means who is tight with money or who uses money to control you in the relationship. Would you like him to be more generous to you with his money?

  If so, take the highest denomination bill he has given you and write his name on it seven times. Then, cross and cover this with your own name also seven times. Dress the four corners and center of the bill with Cleo May Oil. Place a small lodestone that has also been dressed with Cleo May Oil in the center of the bill, sprinkle some dried chamomile over it and wrap the paper money around the lodestone. Place this in a Honey Jar and burn red candles marked with your wish and dressed with Cleo May oil every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday on top of the jar.

  Fowl Magick for Money and Love

  Each year on the third Thursday in November all over America, people gather together with friends, family, and loved ones to give thanks for their blessings. As part of the traditional Thanksgiving meal, turkey is often served. Now, the average housewife knows that leftovers such as turkey bones can be used to make soup stock; however, it is the wise and clever witch who can take those bones and fashion a powerful talisman for love or money.

  According to Denise Alvarado, author of The Voodoo Hoodoo Spellbook, the wishbone can be painted with 18 K gold-leaf paint and placed on your Prosperity Altar to draw money and prosperity to you. If you desire, you can glue a small lodestone to the wishbone and feed it with magnetic sand or money-drawing oil on a regular basis.

  Magick usually makes use of correspondences, things that relate to one another in a way that complements one's magickal goal. For example, red is associated with love and desire; the new moon is associated with beginnings. Therefore, a spell to attract a new love to you may begin on the New Moon using a red candle. The connection between turkey bones and love magick may not be immediately apparent. However, I suspect that it has something to do with the idea that turkeys are dumb animals. There is a long-standing belief that a turkey will look up with its mouth open while it is raining resulting in its death by drowning.

  How many of us have ever fallen in love with another person or become so infatuated with another that every time you were around them your tongue got all tied or you did something dumb either to get him or her to notice you or just because you were so distracted by their presence? Although I cannot find any source to support my theory, I believe that turkey bones are used in love magick to confer some of that dumbness to the target of your affections so that they will be more easily swayed to desire you. Also, I do not think that it is a coincidence that boner is one of the euphemisms for a man's erection. These are just a few associations to consider as you read the spells given below.

  In his seminal work, Ozark Magic and Folklore, Vance Randolph writes, "Many a mountain girl conceals dried turkey bones about the room in which she meets her lover, or even secrets them in her clothing, in the belief that they will render him more amorous."

  If you desire to make use of such a talisman, you can personalize it by writing the man's name on the bone in red ink with a fine-tipped sharpie, or wrap his photograph/personal concerns around the bone and secure it with red thread (red being the color of desire.) In addition, the bone can also be anointed with an appropriate oil such as Love Me Oil, or Lavender Lust Drops (for gay men and lesbians).

  To attract a new love, write all the qualities that you desire in a lover on the turkey bone with a fine-tipped sharpie or alternately write them on paper and secure it around the bone with red thread; add this to a mojo bag with Lavender buds (which are said to attract men) and Coriander seeds (which are said to attract a new love). You may substitute a whole Queen Elizabeth Root for the lavender buds if you wish to attract a female. Anoint the mojo bag with an appropriate oil of your choice.

  To sweeten an existing love to you, again write his name on the bone or wrap his personal concerns around it and secure with red thread. When the moon is new on a Friday, place the turkey bone in a Honey Jar and burn a red candle on it every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to stimulate their desire for you.

  To tie a man's nature to you, obtain a piece of red yarn equal to the length of his erect penis - all without his knowledge. Have sex with him, but do not have an orgasm yourself as you do not want to tie up your own nature. Anoint the red yarn with his captured semen and tie this around the turkey bone. Wrap the bone in a pair of your own used underwear and keep it in a secure place where no one else will see it or touch it.

  Cross & Candle Spell

  Arrange seven nickels in the form of a cross. Place one white candle dressed with Money Drawing Oil on each of the four outermost coins. Light the candles and Pray the 23rd Psalm (see Appendix E) while focusing on your desire for more money. When you are done, make your petition saying:

  Just as Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes so that all were fed, so may my fortune increase so that all my needs are met. I ask this in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.

  Allow the coins to remain undisturbed until the candles burn out and then spend the coins as a sacrifice knowing that they will return to you in the form of more money.

  Some sources say that white candles are used for a general increase in money, red candles bring money through marriage, and black candles for an inheritance.

  How to Cleanse Your Money

  You have often heard it said that “money is the root of all evil.” This thought is misleading however, because the actual quote is from 1st Timothy 6:10 which states that it is “the love of money” which is the root of all evil, for in coveting money, many have lost their way.

  There have been many news accounts of conartists posing as legitimate spiritual workers who have scammed folks out of millions of dollars by claiming that their money and valuables are evil and cursed. For the most part, these people are frauds and charlatans; but, even their lies are built on a kernel of truth. When you find yourself becoming more prosperous, attracting wealth and success, you will also find yourself becoming the object of jealousy and contempt from others who covet your prosperity and success. Such strong emotions can actually jinx your money and success to the point that you begin to lose your powers of attraction. When this occurs, your money should be cleansed.

  First of all, how do you determine that your money is jinxed? Well, I was taught to keep a silver coin on my Prosperity Altar. Part of this altar consists of a ceramic pot filled with coins of every denomination with a large lodestone resting on top. Under the lodestone are several bills of paper money. This money pot represents my prosperity and ability to attract more money. The pot is regularly fed new coins and when it overflows, the extra coins are gathered up, prayed over, and sent out to bring more money to me. Four times a year at the change of the seasons, coins are converted into paper money, and the existing paper money is traded in for higher denomination bills.

  When this silver dollar becomes tarnished, I know that it is time to cleanse my money. The first thing that I do is clean the silver dollar with silver cleaner to make it all shiny and new looking again. Then, a fresh egg is prayed over and placed in my money pot for three days. Finally, the egg is thrown into the middle of a crossroads where the negative energy dissipates into four directions.

  Chapter 7

  The Secret to Revenge

  It is said that living well is the best revenge; however, living well often entails a period of healing to allow the individual to move forward with their lives. Such distance allows us to look back and perhaps learn a valuable life lesson. Unfortunately, we as humans are often more interested in instant gratification and so opt for appeasing our egos by satisfying our sense of justice. Converse
ly, it is also said that “revenge is a dish best served cold,” meaning that the best revenge is enacted not in the heat of anger, but after one’s ire has cooled and one has had time to plot one's revenge carefully.

  Unlike other religions which accept magick as part of its philosophy and advises its adherents to “do no harm,” Hoodoo allows for retributive justice. Individuals not only have the right to protect themselves by magickal means but also to retaliate against those who have wronged them. In fact, since Hoodoo is essentially the separation of magickal practices from religious dogma, the ethics of conjure are left entirely up to the practitioner and his or her sense of moral values. This, however, does not mean that practitioners are completely free to do whatever they want with no consequences. While Hoodoo allows for an individual to not only protect themselves and retaliate against those who have wronged them, it is also believed that a spell must be justified for it to work.

  Justified is a term that one will often hear about in the practice of Hoodoo, especially when the subject of revenge or curses arises. But, what IS a curse? Curses are a malevolent type of spell the effects of which can range from bad luck to death. Curses can be placed on people (Longinus), places (King Tut's Tomb), and things (the Hope Diamond). The motivation for cursing can include envy (Snow White), revenge (Tecumseh), punishment (Angel, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer), to teach a lesson (Brother Bear), or to protect an object - mostly from theft (religious idols and other Holy objects) or places (Shakespeare's grave).