Delvers LLC: Obligations Incurred

by Blaise Corvin

  “What!?” Aodh was so shocked he almost fell on his butt. He leaned against the wall instead and opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Rark-han thought it looked rather comical.

  “Yeah. We don’t actually know what it does because it didn’t come with a note, and Keeja hasn’t been back. On the other hand, all these fucking things always have the exact same instructions. To be safe, think about a specific type of magic all day and before you go to bed, in case it’s a modular-type orb. It it’s not, it will just do whatever it’s supposed to do after you swallow it before bed.

  “Anyway, Tony, if you want the orb, we also have a tincture for you to take with it so you’ll never have to worry about the fucking left eye whatsit.”

  “LEDF,” muttered Jason.

  “Yeah, that.” While Aodh continued to sputter, Henry’s posture changed and he looked unsure of himself. Jason nodded again and Henry swallowed. He turned his whole body, staring into Mareen’s eyes as he asked, “Will you marry me, Mareen ni’Haniyya Jacobs?”

  Absolute silence rang in the garage. Rark-han felt his ears going back, but he couldn’t help it. He was not equipped to deal with how quickly the scents and body language in the small space suddenly shifted. He was nervous, surrounded by emotionally unstable people who could break him in half without much effort. He was never sure what they’d do next.

  Before anyone could speak, Jason formally said, “Uluula b’ Anami b’ Pairose of the Blue, will you marry me?”

  Nobody spoke. Rark-han’s skin prickled. When he glanced at Bezzi-ibbi and saw his liege’s wide, feral grin, it didn’t help settle his nerves at all.

  Uluula replied first. “Jason James Booth, I accept. However, I would like to know when you actually want the ceremony to take place?”

  “Henry Mirai Sata, I accept and I have the same question.” Mareen’s voice wavered and she had tears in her eyes. She trembled, and her body language screamed she wanted to throw herself at the man that had just proposed to her. She was holding back, and Rark-han was not sure why.

  What on Ludus is going on? Why are these men proposing, and both at the same time?

  Jason spoke, his words smooth like he’d practiced them before. He said, “I would love to marry you as soon as possible; however, it takes two weeks to prepare a marriage ceremony in Mirana, and we are leaving in a week. Unfortunately, I believe we will need to be engaged for some time.”

  “Why can’t we just move our departure date back by a week or two?” asked Mareen.

  “We can’t. I already spoke to Gonzo about it and we have to leave as soon as possible, right, Gonzo?” Spy Gonzolez nodded. He looked as confused as Rark-han felt. “See? It’s regrettable, but it will be some time before we can formally get married,” Jason replied.

  “It’s really too bad,” muttered Henry.

  Then a curious thing happened. Uluula and Mareen smiled, their expressions predatory. “So now that I’ve accepted your proposal, you would get married to me as quickly as you could if the situation were different?” Uluula asked.

  “Definitely,” responded Jason.

  “You know I love you, Mareen,” said Henry. “The timing is just not right.”

  The women smiled wider and Rark-han almost whimpered; the strong emotions and smells in the garage were overpowering.

  Uluula crossed her arms, her expression turning satisfied. “This is actually quite a coincidence. I’ve been inviting Yanno-ibbi to spend time in the garage for the last couple days, teaching us Jaguar Clan history. Imagine our luck that Yanno-ibbi happened to be here to witness this conversation today. Yanno-ibbi, you are officially empowered to officiate marriages, correct?”

  The older Mo’hali man frowned, but the twinkle in his eye gave him away. “I am, yes. This is correct.”

  “I see. And in Mirana, Mo’hali are not required to file the same paperwork as other residents for marriage, nor book a temple, which takes about two weeks, yes?” Uluula sounded a little smug.

  “This is also correct.”

  “In fact, in your capacity as a recognized Mo’hali elder, what do you actually need in order to legally marry people?”

  “Well, they need to be Mo’hali, or at least one person does. I also need to witness the proposal or a declaration of love.”

  “So would the proposals you just witnessed satisfy the requirement?”

  “Wait a fucking minute!” Henry slightly raised his voice. “We aren’t Mo’hali!”

  “Oh, but legally you can be, Henry-ibbi,” Mareen said, stressing his Jaguar Clan honorific. Tears were running freely down her face in happiness, but she still had a predatory grin.

  Jason just looked at Yanno-ibbi and blinked stupidly.

  “So,” Uluula continued, “Henry-ibbi and Jason-ibbi are of the Jaguar Clan, they proposed to Mareen and I, and we accepted. In your capacity as a Jaguar Clan elder, what does this mean?”

  Bezzi-ibbi began laughing softly, covering his mouth with both hands.

  Yanno-ibbi coughed several times, trying not to laugh as well. “It means,” he choked out and stopped talking until he got control of himself again. “It means I have the pleasure of pronouncing Mareen Jacobs and Henry-ibbi married as of this moment, standing in the light of the day. It means I pronounce Uluula of the Blue and Jason-ibbi married as of this moment, standing in the light of the day. This pronouncement has been witnessed by three other souls and is legally binding by Mo’hali and Tolstey law as soon as I turn in the paperwork tomorrow morning. Congratulations, and continue to stand in the day, to embrace the joy of being honest and guarding your family from enemies.”

  “Fuck me,” whispered Henry before he was tackled by a crying, affectionate Mareen. Uluula walked over to the Battlewagon and climbed aboard. She grabbed Jason’s collar and yanked him down into a kiss. To Rark-han, it almost sounded like she was purring.

  Do these people do anything the normal way? They’re all insane! Rark-han couldn’t wait to leave the confusing language and overwhelming smells in the Delvers garage. Bezzi-ibbi was still chuckling as they left, and Rark-han longed for a good fight. At least violence made sense, unlike his Terran and Areva companions.

  * * *

  Just over a week later, the Delvers plus two spies and Yanno-ibbi had been travelling on the southwest road from Mirana all day. They had left early in the morning and made great time, so they were already outside the relatively safe, cultivated land near the city. The plan was to travel to Pilk before heading due west to the Stem River. Then they’d follow the river north through the Tolstey Mountains.

  That evening, they found a decent campsite off the road and made camp before dusk. The Battlewagon made carrying equipment easy, so full-sized tents went up in no time at all. Before long, the four magicycles—the name Henry had coined for the hovering motorcycles he had built—were parked by the Battlewagon. The fire was roaring, and food was cooking.

  Unfortunately, nobody in their group was a very good cook other than Mareen, but she didn’t want to cook every day. That night, it was Yanno-ibbi’s turn to try destroying their food as little as possible. It was a valiant effort.

  Eventually, after the group fell asleep, Jason sat with Henry near their campfire. It was Jason’s turn at watch, and he woke Henry so they could have a chat. Due to their endurance abilities, they could go without much sleep anyway, so the night watch was the perfect time to talk.

  The flurry of activity before they’d left Mirana, including officially moving out of their house and spending one full day with their new wives, hadn’t left them any time to privately talk.

  “So, we’re married now.” Jason poked at the fire with a stick.

  “Yeah. Your little plan kind of backfired in a big fucking way. Turns out your wife is smarter than you.”

  “Yes,” Jason said, smiling. “I guess she is.”

  “Oh well, it’s not all bad. I guess I was being kind a pussy anyway. I talked to Mareen about it. She said she knew I was going to drag my feet, and she didn
’t want to risk dying as an unmarried woman. This gig is dangerous, so I guess I kind of think she had a point. On the other hand, I know she’s chomping at the friggin’ bit to try ‘growing our house,’ which apparently means finding other chicks she thinks are good enough to play house with us.

  “If I ever have to experience my own newlywed wife trying to play matchmaker for me, I’m going to feel awkward as fuck.”

  Jason nodded. “I got similar logic from Uluula. She also gave me a few specifics on how she put the trap together. I don’t know whether to be frustrated with her or impressed. I think deep down I’m irritated I’m so happy right now, which proves she was right all along.

  “She actually apologized for treating me like a mission objective, but she said she would have done the same thing again. Once again, I can’t really be angry at her. I mean, I did propose. It was my choice.” Jason looked wistfully into the fire, one side of his mouth quirked up into a smile.

  “Whoa, dude, don’t go getting all mushy on me. Get a hold of yourself.”

  Jason sighed. “You’re such a dick, Henry. Fine, whatever. The real reason I called you out here…Actually, you know what? You’re so polite and thoughtful, you can find out for yourself.” Jason stood and brushed himself off before gesturing for his friend to follow.

  Henry grumbled but got up and followed Jason through the sparse forest composed mostly of scraggly pine trees. Jason knew that for all his blustering, Henry was probably holding power from the earth and using his enhanced senses to scan for any danger.

  Jason continued leading the mumbling Henry away from the camp, heading for the road. After they were a decent distance away from the camp, probably at least 200 yards, Jason finally said, “Here is fine.” He was enjoying the look of frustration and impatience on his friend’s face.

  Henry squared his shoulders impatiently. “So what are we doing out here now? Are you sure you’re not going gay on me? I know I’m sexy as hell, but you just got married, and Uluula will have your balls if you go after a dude. Areva really don’t like gay people, you know. Did you know your wife is homophobic?”

  Jason closed his eyes and prayed for patience. Even with his eyes shut, he could sense Henry’s grin. He breathed slowly out his nose and opened his eyes again. I suddenly feel even less bad for doing this to Henry.

  “So what is this about, huh? You just going to stand there all night with your eyes closed? I could be sleeping right now.”

  Jason grinned. “Okay, fine. I’ll show you.” And with that, Jason looked the opposite direction from their camp, turned to the sky, and yelled, “Keeja, come talk to us!”

  “What the hell are you yelling about, dude? Keeja has been gone for weeks.” The slight edge of nervousness in Henry’s voice could only have been picked up by someone who knew him really, really well.

  Jason smiled. He’d heard the quaver.

  After a few moments, Henry began grumbling again, but Jason just waited. He knew his reasoning was sound. He’d been thinking about Keeja all week, wondering where she’d gone off to, and then realized the answer was staring him in the face the whole time.

  She couldn’t have left indefinitely. He and Henry were indirectly working for Dolos, and more importantly, Dolos still owed Jason a favor.

  Jason had a hunch the favor he was owed was at least one reason Keeja hadn’t shown herself for a while. At the same time, every old story or bit of lore he’d ever heard stated that gods and powerful supernatural beings had to keep their word. He was betting on the fact that Dolos had the same requirements.

  Suddenly, as if she were summoned, Keeja appeared directly before them. Tall for an Areva, as usual she wore Earth clothing: short jean shorts, a black, baggy t-shirt with a rock band logo, and a stylish hat. It was dark, but Jason was pretty sure she was wearing expensive ankle boots too. The golden necklace of her office glittered in the starlight, and the markings on her face gave her a devilish appearance in the dark.

  “Took you long enough,” the priestess growled. “What do you want?”

  Jason smiled. “Dolos owes me a favor. I’d like to talk to him.”

  Keeja frowned and said, “What, like right now? It will take me a little bit to contact him. It’ll be at least a day, maybe two before he shows up after that, too.”

  “That’s fine, please get him here as soon as possible.” Jason noticed Henry’s discomfort. “I also would like to formally invite you to travel with us again. I don’t know why you’ve been away, but there’s no reason not to be a part of the group.”

  “Well, it’s true that you’ve been doing some interesting things. I had to run an errand right after you killed all those orks. Since then I’ve been…busy.”

  “Yeah, sure you have,” said Jason. “If you’re not still…busy, you’re free to join us. And one more thing.”

  “Hmmm?” The ancient, rowdy priestess cocked her head to the side in challenge.

  “Henry has been talking about you nonstop.” Keeja turned her head, regarding Henry with a smile. Jason snickered as Henry coughed, hiding his sudden choking.

  Jason loved having the last laugh, at least on occasion.

  Purple Triangles

  Aodh trudged along behind Henry and Jason, rubbing the spot on his back that had been leaning against the inside wall of the Battlewagon. Aodh was already tired of traveling, but it’d been less than a week. He’d never known sitting around doing nothing all day while watching the countryside pass could actually make him anxious and sore.

  The trip to Yanbei Cavern and back had been similar, but the battles had added an element of terror that had been distracting, to say the least. The last few days on the other hand had just been…boring.

  Aodh felt ridiculous for mentally complaining of boredom when the other option was fear of impending death, but he couldn’t help it. The only bright side was that Vitaliya rode a magicycle with Gonzo, Bezzi-ibbi, and Rark-han. This meant she stayed either in front or behind the Battlewagon while they traveled, so Aodh didn’t have to see her very often. He stayed away as far as possible, but he knew it was only a matter of time before she started her old ways again.

  Just the other day, she had made a point of crossing the camp to remind him to brush his teeth. To brush his teeth! He was a grown man! What’s more, when he scowled at her, she just gave a grin like a dead hare and walked away.

  What in under fuck was she doing working as a spy, anyway? How had that even happened? Did their family know? She hadn’t said anything about their family so far. Aodh was dying to ask whether they knew about her profession, but he didn’t want any unnecessary contact with his cousin. The fact she was even here, traveling with him while he was heading to a foreign country, was further proof of his terrible luck.

  At least something had gone his way lately, though. A couple days ago, he’d found a bronze dagger buried in the dirt under where he placed his bedroll. Henry had been able to clean it up in less than five minutes, and it had actually turned out to be really beautiful.

  The dagger had a wavy blade and a nicely detailed horse head handle. After making a quick sheath for it out of some spare leather, Aodh wore it at his back now.

  However, finding the dagger was more than offset by the worst bit of bad luck he’d ever had. The absolute proof the universe had it out for him, the thing he couldn’t stop thinking about as he helped Henry and Jason gather firewood, was how his orb didn’t do anything. He was supposed to be orb-Bonded now, but he didn’t feel any different than he had before.

  He’d been incredibly excited, completely awed to receive an orb, something he’d never thought would be possible in his life. He would finally be strong on his own and Vitaliya would stop trying to mother him all the time. He would be a true adventurer, one of the best!

  Instead, the next day after he had taken his orb, he hadn’t felt anything different. There’d been no change at all. He’d spent hours trying to make different powers happen that he’d read about as a child. He had even asked Mareen
what it was like when she became orb-Bonded. She had said she just woke up knowing what she could do.

  Aodh was truly the unluckiest person on Ludus.

  He couldn’t even verify that he was actually even Bonded because he’d taken the potion Jason had made to hide his status if he had one! Nobody would see anything different about him whether he’d changed or not. He couldn’t be sure if his orb just didn’t work at all or if he’d just swallowed a marble.

  Aodh was so lost in thought, he wasn’t paying attention to what Henry and Jason were talking about. He just continued to pick up dry sticks behind them. He didn’t even notice when they stopped and he almost ran into them.

  Then, while still looking at the ground, he heard a deep, booming voice. “Unfortunately, we meet again, lower lifeforms. I’m busy so let’s make this quick.” The voice had an accent he’d never heard before and was speaking in English.

  Aodh slowly raised his eyes…and saw Dolos for the first time.

  The god floated in the air, slowly coming down to the ground. He stood at least seven feet tall and wore clothing that seemed to represent every color of the rainbow. He was bald, his face incredibly handsome in a dispassionate sort of way. He wore a stone crown, stone sandals, and flashes of tools could be glimpsed through some of his clothing as he moved. Aodh immediately recognized who the man was, who he had to be, and felt too shocked to even think.

  “These Terrans…No respect, no sense of propriety. So cheeky and coarse, telling my High Priestess to summon me like I am some common servant and not the Great God Dolos. Ridiculous.”

  “Nice to see you too,” Henry said drily.

  “Oh, and these small, repugnant, ignorant Terrans have the gall to talk to me in a familiar manner. I can’t believe that I must tolerate this. It’s simply dreadful. Well, at least they aren’t trying to use their pitiful powers this time.”