Delvers LLC: Obligations Incurred

by Blaise Corvin

  He cleared his throat and said, “Look, I think you have the wrong idea. First off, what should I call you, Dashawn or Thirsty?”

  The tall, black man looked off into the distance for a moment. “Call me Thirsty. I usually don’t go by my stage name unless I’m performing, but now that I think about it, most of my friends call me Thirsty. I think I’m happier when I’m in drag or people are talking to me like I’m in drag. If I’m gonna be living a whacked-out situation like this, I may as well do some experimenting to see what makes me most happy. There’s no time like the present to reinvent myself…again.”

  “That’s a strange thing to say,” said Jason. “I mean, I’m kind of surprised you’re taking everything so calmly.”

  “Well, did you freak the fuck out when you got here?” Jason shook his head and Thirsty said, “Well, then, why should I? Just because I can wear a dress and look fishy as hell doesn’t mean I break down at the drop of a hat. Trust me, honey, getting a tuck done right can be scarier than any crazy-ass monsters or whatever.”

  “Have you actually seen a monster yet?” asked Jason.

  “Touché. Anyway, we all saw what happened with the pretty Latina girl this morning. Losing my mind or flipping out won’t help me or anyone else at all. I haven’t had the most awesome life so far, but it’s made me tough. I don’t plan to give up, I’m too fabulous for that. Way too goddamn sexy.”

  Jason nodded thoughtfully. “On that note, I should probably tell you about the planet we’re on. It’s called Ludus. I also need to tell you about a dickhead named Dolos. In fact, I should probably fill you in on Mo’hali, magic, everything.”

  “Magic…real magic, huh? I woke up today knowing I had powers. So I wasn’t having delusions? I’ve imagined some pretty crazy shit after a bender. Once I thought I was a love child of Adele and Beyoncé. It was the best night of my life until the hangover and reality both beat the shit out of me.”

  “Nope, no delusion.” Jason chuckled softly. “You’re orb-Bonded, which means you’re going to live a very, very long time and you have magic powers now. However, people are going to want to kill you for it, though.”

  “What? Baby, you did not just say what I think you did. Tell me you didn’t.”

  “Like I said, I have a lot to fill you in on. We’re going to have to decide what to do about weapons and armor for you, too.”

  “Look, honey, I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

  Jason grimly said, “That’s what I used to think about myself, too. Trust me, this world will change you.”

  The next few minutes as they walked back to camp, Jason gave Thirsty a quick rundown of Ludus just like George had done for him and Henry months before. Thinking of George made Jason sad.

  It felt like years ago that he’d arrived on Ludus with Henry. In fact, his first Ludan winter seemed to be creeping up quickly. Sometimes Jason forgot it was currently fall since so many of the broad-leafed trees on Ludus didn’t shed their leaves.

  Winter was coming. Times would probably get tougher. Their journey to Berber had really just begun. There was a lot to do and a lot to think about, but Jason was sure of his moral obligation to help keep Thirsty survive.

  Emilia was dead, and probably untold others from Earth who had been transported to Ludus over the years. The other two people from Earth that Dolos had mentioned might be dead too, but he had no way to be sure. At least Thirsty was here; he was alive, and he was someone they could actually save.

  The fact he was gay and liked to cross-dress or whatever was largely irrelevant. He was from Earth, he was a human being, and he needed help, just like Jason and Henry had in the past.

  In that moment, he decided that Thirsty was going to survive. Period. Jason wouldn’t tolerate any more preventable deaths, and everyone else just needed to get with the program.

  After they got back to camp, Jason knew the first thing he was going to do. He planned to give Thirsty the second-to-last tincture to hide his orb-Bonded alert, his LEDF. He wished Henry would just get with the program and adopt the term. The first step of effective communication was using the same acronyms. Well, that was what all the project managers in IT used to say.

  As Jason trudged along, he thought about project managers, and how much more unpleasant his stay on Ludus would have been if one of those people were along for the ride.

  He shivered.

  Change of Plans

  It had been the better part of a week since Thirsty had become part of the group, and Aodh liked him a lot.

  When he had first joined the group, Thirsty had seemed most fascinated by Bezzi-ibbi. Since Aodh and the Jaguar boy were friends, they all chatted together fairly often. At first, Aodh could tell the dark man was taken aback by his appearance, but Aodh was used to that. Unfortunately, he looked Fideli. Terrans from Earth thought Fideli looked strange, even frightening, and others feared them by reputation.

  But Aodh didn’t have a stereotypical Fideli temperament at all. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. It hadn’t even occurred to him in the past that he would have to actually kill things while being an adventurer. Sure, he’d known that being an adventurer was violent and dangerous, but his idea of what that would be like had differed from reality. In his mind, he would perhaps thump monsters and bandits into submission, being praised while his enemies groaned on the ground.

  He had not expected to be throwing terrifyingly powerful bombs that reduced monsters to bits of bone, ropy innards, and other unidentifiable pieces.

  Luckily, Thirsty seemed to accept how Aodh looked rather quickly and they began having normal conversations. At first, Aodh hadn’t been sure about the strange, tall man, but as the days passed, he discovered an unexpected kinship.

  They were both outcasts—Aodh for looking Fideli, and Thirsty for being a ponce.

  Thirsty described growing up in a place called Ottawa and being sad in school. He had never felt accepted, and others had even been cruel to him. Then Thirsty described how he had discovered “drag” in New York, and eventually moved to a large city named Toronto. Toronto was where a lot of Thirsty’s friends lived now. He’d been happy there for a while, but said he had been starting to get sad again. Money was a problem, or rather, a lack of it.

  Aodh didn’t understand why anyone would want to wear women’s clothing. He also didn’t understand how a man could be attracted to other men. However, he did understand being desperately unhappy and wanting to do something different, anything to reinvent his life.

  Aodh had become an adventurer. Thirsty liked to wear pretty makeup, sing songs, and dance for other people. They were different people and they’d taken very different paths, but Aodh could understand why Thirsty felt secure in his new life and liked who he was.

  The young adventurer felt like his realization about Thirsty meant he was growing up a bit. He was proud of himself. After he understood how they were similar, he didn’t feel uncomfortable around Thirsty at all anymore, even when the man put on light makeup or asked Bezzi-ibbi about Ludus fashion.

  Aodh ignored Thirsty if he tried asking about men back in his old village, though.

  In many ways, Thirsty stuck out and didn’t fit in on Ludus, but at the same time, he was acclimating and becoming useful to the group faster than Aodh ever had. Thirsty was orb-Bonded and had started to learn how to use his magic. Aodh didn’t even know what his own power was. He still didn’t feel any different, and he couldn’t use any magic other than the Fire school magic he was born with.

  He watched Thirsty work with a few twinges of envy. Occasionally, when their group would stop to relieve themselves or eat, Henry would make a new ring or bracelet for Thirsty to enchant while they traveled.

  The flamboyant man was getting good at it. Aodh watched him work on his newest project, some sort of rod made of bronze cones. Thirsty was chatting with Aodh; Bezzi-ibbi was out on a magicycle. Uluula and Mareen were in the back of the Battlewagon too, but they were speaking quietly among themselves. They still didn’t talk to Thirsty m
uch.

  The tall, dark man was carefully rolling the pieces of bronze around in his hands. “It’s weird, you know,” he said. “How to do this stuff just pops into my head like an info bubble, but I can’t actually be any good at it unless I practice. It’s a good thing Henry’s been able to break down all the shitty stuff I’ve made so I could try again. He’s a sweetheart.”

  Aodh nodded and continued to watch him work with the bronze. “Why are you rolling it around like that?”

  “It’s like…I’m getting to know it. Now I kind of know what Henry meant before when he said building all the vehicles was like having a conversation. Like, I have an idea of what I want to do, and the more I play with the material, the more clearly I see the picture in my head of how to make it happen.”

  “So what are you making now?”

  “Well, everyone keeps tellin’ me I need to have weapons and gear. If I gotta be stuck on this lame-ass planet, I can at least make my gear look fabulous. I don’t have any cute dresses right now, and I don’t wanna chance messing up the only formal dress I have, but I can still work on accessories. I’m gonna be serving up some hardcore magic warrior girl realness, believe it. Yessiree.”

  Aodh had no idea what any of that meant and wondered if he was misunderstanding Thirsty’s English. Thirsty could speak Luda now after being orb-Bonded, but he still spoke English most of the time, and Aodh didn’t mind. It was good practice.

  Thirsty pointed to a smaller piece of bronze, shaped like a cone. “I’m stacking these up on top of each other and using metal magic to hold them all together with Earth. My four main schools, Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, are strongest. I can’t really mess with subschools yet. Anyway, I’m using air magic between each cone, storing power to shoot them when it’s triggered. Aiming is kinda hard, though.”

  “Did Henry help you with it?”

  “Yessiree! He also taught me about magic. Jason has helped a little, too, but his lady…friend has been demanding lately.” Thirsty gave a significant look out the corner of his eye at Uluula. “I don’t think everyone here is happy about little ol’ me being around.”

  Aodh wanted to deny it, but Thirsty was right. The majority of their group still had not warmed to him. Luckily, Henry had never seemed to care, although Mareen was annoyed with his attitude over it. Aodh had heard them yelling at each other in the distance during a rest stop the previous day. Ever since then, Mareen had been irritable and short with everyone, especially Henry.

  Uluula had been acting distant. Yanno-ibbi had been keeping a physical distance. The spies, Gonzo and Vitaliya, always kept to themselves, but they seemed more withdrawn than usual since Thirsty Zha Zha had arrived. Aodh was thankful for that. Even if he hadn’t liked Thirsty, he would have stayed near the man since it kept his cousin away. Still, he knew it was only a matter of time before she started acting like herself again. He could see the madness in her eyes when she thought nobody else was watching.

  “It’s really my own fault,” Thirsty sighed. “When I first came to this planet, I was so fucking fabulous and beautiful that the goddess RuPaul herself would have approved.”

  “What?” asked Aodh. He’d never heard of a goddess named RuPaul before. Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, Zeus, God, and other names he recognized. RuPaul was definitely new. “Who is RuPaul?”

  “RuPaul is the goddess of drag, honey. Everyone knows this. Like, if I could meet Ru in person one day, I would die a happy queen.”

  “Uh, okay,” muttered Aodh. As usual now, whenever Thirsty said something he didn’t understand, he changed the subject. “Okay, so I know what the rod is now, and most other things you’ve worked on before got melted down again, but what about your bracelets?” Aodh pointed at the handful of bronze and copper bracelets on Thirsty’s wrists.

  Thirsty began to answer, but Keeja dropped out of the sky with no warning, landed gently next to Aodh, and answered for him. “They are shields,” she said. “I’ve been watching Thirsty make them.” She turned to address the tall man directly. “You are most interested in defense, protection, yes? That would explain why you didn’t do anything except craft shield bracelets during the first few days you learned to use your power.”

  Aodh swallowed. He didn’t pass out anymore when Keeja was around, but he didn’t feel comfortable, either. He trusted Henry and Jason; he’d made a conscious decision to follow them. However, he didn’t think they realized how dangerous and unpredictable Keeja the Ravager was in all the legends.

  Unfortunately, when Keeja was around, Thirsty gave Aodh even more anxiety than Henry and Jason did. Aodh hadn’t even known it was possible. Thirsty took irreverence to a new level, almost like he was perfecting an art form.

  The drag queen rolled his eyes, huffed at Keeja, and said, “Where the hell have you been, you little super-elf, crazy-ass, wannabe midget cowgirl? You are about a thousand years too late to be a Dallas Girl, girl.” He pointed at her cowboy boots and said, “You should really dump those hideous boots.”

  Aodh mildly wondered if it was possible to die of fright. He hoped not; he had so much more to do. Perishing with a life full of regrets was not how he wanted to go. At the very least, he really wanted to get married before he died, or at least date. In fact, he’d settle for just losing his virginity.

  Keeja cocked an eyebrow at Thirsty and drawled, “I’ve been flying, because, you know, I can do that. But I’m surprised that this crazy is coming out of your mouth. I mean, all this sass is coming from a random queen with some raggedy-ass budget wig and skinny jeans from inside a backpack? Don’t tell me, I already know. You were so broke on your planet, you had to use actual chalk instead of makeup, and that’s why you looked like someone dragged you through a cornfield dusted with cocaine. From now on, whenever I see anyone look that busted, I’m going to say they look ‘Thirsty.’ You have your own look now, congratulations.”

  Thirsty blinked and exchanged a smile with Keeja, all teeth. The tension shattered when Thirsty burst out laughing. He chortled, “Oh shit, I just got read, didn’t I, you little mighty mouse-lookin’ elf bitch? That was fierce. Have you been practicing?”

  Keeja just sniffed and gave a slight shrug. Aodh had no idea what the exchange meant, he was just glad the unpredictable demigoddess hadn’t killed them all.

  Keeja held out a hand and ordered, “Tony, give me your dagger.”

  Aodh immediately complied, grabbing his dagger where he kept it behind his back, and slowing down in panic when he realized Keeja might think he was attacking her. Her amused smile at his nervousness made him flush down to his neck in embarrassment. He presented the dagger on the palms of both hands and noticed Uluula and Mareen watching them with interest out the corner of his eye. “Lady Priestess, my dagger,” he said formally.

  Keeja plucked the blade out of his hands and examined it. Aodh had seen the dagger many times and he loved it. He’d been incredibly fortunate to find it randomly in the middle of nowhere. The weapon’s blade was wavy, like a snake. The handle was all one piece, made with the same metal as the bronze blade, and the pommel was fashioned after the head of a horse.

  Keeja held the weapon towards Thirsty and said, “Work on this. You should be able to imbue a dagger with several powers at once. This will allow you to train your abilities much faster than making the same types of items over and over again.”

  Thirsty accepted the dagger and slowly nodded. “I don’t know how, but I can sense you’re right. I have something for you, too.” Thirsty took one of the bracelets off his wrist and bounced it on his palm, his expression hesitant. Eventually, he held it out to Keeja and said, “I want you to have this. It’s not very good and you probably don’t need it, but when you knocked me the fuck out the first time we met, you probably saved my life.”

  Aodh’s breath caught in his throat. Thirsty was trying to give Keeja, High Priestess Keeja, a bronze bracelet? Aodh braced himself for an explosion of anger or force, but nothing happened. Keeja just cocked her head and continued to listen.


  “I don’t have much on this whack-ass planet,” explained Thirsty. “All I have is what I’ve been given through charity, and what I’ve been able to create with it. Well, I have my phone, too, but I dropped it in a puddle when I first got transported and fell on my ass. I haven’t been able to turn it on.”

  Keeja had been slowly reaching out to accept the bracelet, but her head snapped up. She snatched the bracelet, put it on her wrist, and said, “Give me your phone, you fool. You truly do have a death wish.”

  Thirsty frowned, but didn’t argue. He dug in his backpack and produced a square object the likes of which Aodh had never seen. Keeja picked it up gingerly between two fingers. She said, “I might need to give this to Jason or Henry. You’re lucky you never turned this on, or you would have been framing your death. I need to think about what to do with this.”

  Thirsty grunted and said, “And now people are stealing my cellphone like it ain’t no thang. Fine, take everything. Do you want the panties from my backpack, too?”

  Keeja smiled like she was going to say something, but glanced at the bracelet on her wrist and just shook her head. After a brief pause she said, “It’s for your own good, you silly homosexual.” She chuckled and floated upwards. “I’m going to fly again, because I can do that.”

  As Keeja floated away, Thirsty frowned and growled, “Yeah, you better get your cheerleader wannabe, Oompa Loompa ass out of here! That’s right, I see you running off, bitch. I know what’s up.”

  Keeja didn’t even turn around, just chuckled more, and Aodh began having second thoughts about his friendship with Thirsty. If Thirsty couldn’t keep his…sass under control, he might truly get them all killed.

  After Keeja was gone, Aodh began to ponder again about how he really didn’t want to die without ever having a girlfriend. He was wondering if there were even any girls out there who wouldn’t be disgusted by his Fideli appearance when he noticed the caravan slowing down. This usually meant it was time for another rest stop.