Found My Love [Learning to Love 3] (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Alison Mello

  I get to the room and take a deep breath before I walk in. I don’t want to appear as shaken up as I am. The doctor is in with my mom and dad when I get there.

  “Good afternoon, Ms. Anderson.”

  I put my hand up, cutting him off. “Mrs. Roberts. I married this weekend.”

  He smiles. “I apologize. Congrats. Mrs. Roberts, as I was just telling your mom and dad, he has developed pneumonia, so we will not be able to do anything more until we can clear it. Unfortunately, the cancer is starting to spread, which means the chemo may not be working. If we can get his lungs clear, we will try the stronger one we were scheduled to do on Thursday, but we will not do anything until he’s stronger.”

  I thank him for his time and he asks if he can see me in the hallway. “I wanted to talk to you away from your dad because right now, his spirits are high and that’s what we need, but to be honest I’m not sure he has the fight left to get over this hump. We have him on antibiotics and some pain meds to help keep him relaxed and comfortable.”

  I think I’m a bit shocked because a moment ago it sounded like “when” he had chemo, not if.

  “So basically you just put on a show for my dad so he would stay positive? Does my mom know?”

  He nods. “She knows,” he says flatly. “I have spoken to her. I know you think it is cold to not give it to our patients straight, but if we do they give up and don’t fight, and that is not what we want.”

  I just nod. “Well, I better get back.”

  He puts his hand on my arm. “You may want to call any siblings you may have. If he gives up hope, he may not last more than a day. He’s really struggling to breathe.”

  I nod and put a smile on my face before I head back into the room. I walk in and he’s fast asleep in his bed. My poor dad has oxygen hooked up to his nose. A blood pressure cuff and heart monitors quietly beep. I watch him, noticing how much he has changed over the last few weeks. He has gotten thinner and looks frail. I tell my mom that I need to make some calls while he’s asleep and that I’ll be back shortly. I head to the family waiting room and on the way I call Chase.

  “Hey, T. Give me some good news, sweetie.”

  I take a deep breath. “I wish I had some. He has pneumonia, and the doctor says if he stops fighting we could lose him in twenty-four to forty-eight hours. He looks thin, frail, and tired. I tried calling my sister on the way here, but she didn’t answer so I left her a message. I’m going to call her one more time, but after that she’s on her own.”

  “I’m sorry, sweetie. Just so you know Sam is at the house with Katie right now. Audrey is coming over to spend the night, so she can put her on the bus in the morning, so if you want to stay at the hospital you can. I’m on my way there now and will arrive in about fifteen minutes.”

  “Thanks, Chase. I am in the family waiting room on the fourth floor making some calls while he sleeps. I’ll see you when you get here.”

  “Okay, sweetie. Talk to you soon.”

  I cut the call and move to my next call, my sister. I know she won’t answer, but I’ll call her anyway so she can’t say I didn’t bother. I hit her number on my speed dial, and again I go straight to voice mail.

  “Chelsea, I wish you would answer the phone. Daddy isn’t doing well, and the doctor says that we could lose him in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. Please come see him so if he chooses to stop fighting he can do it in peace.”

  I hang up and cry for a minute. I can’t believe she’s being like this while our dad is lying in a hospital bed ill. I call Jack next, and since he’s in interviews, he doesn’t answer so I leave him a message. I tell him I’ll need the next few days off to be here for my mom and dad and that if he pulls through I’ll come in later in the week. I also send him a text saying the same thing so I’m sure he sees it sooner rather than later. If I know Jack, he took his cell into the meetings watching for an update. My phone pings within seconds of me sending it.

  Take all the time you need. We are here for you if you need anything.

  I get up to head back to my dad’s room and Chase meets me in the hallway.

  “Come here, sweetie.”

  He pulls me into a hug, and it is my undoing. I sob into his chest for a good few minutes. “I think I’m more upset at this point that Chelsea is not answering my calls or reaching out to my mom. I just don’t understand how anyone can have so much hate for such a wonderful man.”

  He rubs my back and tries to calm me down as we head back to the room. When we’re there, my dad is still sleeping, and my mom’s filling out menu options for him for the next two days, so I help her go through and decide what to pick for him. Once we’re done, we decide we’ll eat in the cafeteria for tonight and then decide what to do tomorrow later. I’ve been receiving well-wisher texts for the past hour from friends and family. I think it’s sweet that even my mother-in-law, whom I just met, even sent me a message.

  I’m sitting by my dad’s side while Chase goes with my mom to get some food for us. I am holding his hand and thinking about fun times we had in the silence of the room.

  “I’m tired, Theresa,” he says to me.

  “I know, Daddy. I want to be selfish and tell you to hang in there, but you have to pick your fights, not me.”

  He squeezes my hand. “I don’t know how much I have left.”

  A tear escapes my cheek. “I know. I called Chelsea, and I’m hoping she’ll be here soon.”

  He coughs a little. “She probably won’t come. She’s angry and jealous that we have always been close and that you’re my baby girl. I love her just as much, Theresa. She just always chose her friends over family, and I had a problem with that.”

  “I know, Daddy. You did good. You have nothing to worry about.” I squeeze his hand. “You have some dinner here. Do you feel like trying to eat? Mom and Chase went to go get us some food, too.” I try to change the subject. I don’t want him feeling bad because he has nothing to feel bad for.

  My mom walks back in the room. “Ah, look who’s awake,” she says happily to my dad.

  I smile at my mom. “He even said he’s going to try to eat with us.” I pull his table over with his tray on it and uncover his food so he can start eating. Chase gives me a salad and a sandwich with a bag of chips and an apple. I start eating and text Audrey.

  How’s Katie?

  She’s fine. How are you?

  I’m hanging in. We’re eating dinner with him, trying to keep him awake for a little while.

  I am here if you need anything.

  Thanks. Talk to you later.

  I’m sitting in his room, and it’s totally quiet. My mom is sleeping in the chair and Chase is down the hall making a call. I’m trying to decide what to do. Part of me wants to spend the night here, but I feel like that won’t be good for Dad’s morale. If I leave and something happens in the night, I’ll be mad at myself for not staying. I lay my head on his bed next to his leg and hold his hand while I silently think.

  “Theresa, go home. Go kiss your daughter and get a good night’s sleep.”

  I smile. “How did you know?”

  “Because I know you. Now go. I promise I’ll still be here in the morning.”

  I know that he’s secretly holding on hoping that Chelsea shows tomorrow. I haven’t told him, but both my mom and I have called her, and she’s not answering either of our calls. My mom talked to her the night of our family dinner, and although it didn’t go well, she won’t tell me what they talked about.

  “I’ll be back first thing in the morning. I love you, Daddy.”

  “I love you, too, baby girl.”

  Chapter 20

  I jump out of bed to the sound of my alarm going off. It is six thirty, and I need to get in the shower and get some stuff together so I can get to the hospital. I grab my phone to check and see if there’re any messages, but there aren’t and for once I’m happy. In this case, no news is good news, so I get up and head to the bathroom. I jump in the shower, quickly washing my body, sh
aving my legs, and shampooing and conditioning my hair. I’m in and out in record time. I throw on my clothes, grab a bag to throw some extra stuff in just in case I have to stay at the hospital, and head to Katie’s room.

  I climb into her bed and snuggle up to her for a minute. I don’t wake her but lie there and just watch my daughter sleep. I comb my fingers through her hair, and she starts to stir. She blinks her sleepy eyes awake. “Good morning, sweet pea.”

  She rewards me with a big smile. “Good morning, Mama. How’s Grampy?”

  My smile fades. I will not hide the truth from her. “He’s very sick, sweetie, and may be going to heaven soon, so Mommy is going to head back to the hospital as soon as you’re on the bus. Someone will be here to get you after school, but it may not be me, okay?” I can see she’s sad and doesn’t know what to say. “I know that you’re sad and that this is hard, but it is part of life, sweet pea.”

  She nods. “I understand, Mom. Will you give him a hug and kiss for me?”

  I almost lose it, but I fight it back, hoping I can get through this morning. “Let’s get you dressed and have some breakfast together.”

  I get Katie dressed and we head downstairs for breakfast. I try forcing a bagel as she eats some cereal because I don’t want her worried about me but it’s hard.

  As we finish breakfast, it’s just about time for her to head outside so I clean up and we head outside. As soon as Katie is on the bus, I confirm that Sam will be here after school until Audrey gets here to take over. I throw my purse and my bag in my car and head off to the hospital to visit my dad, hoping for some good news when I get there.

  I walk into the hospital, and as I’m approaching my dad’s room, the doctor is coming out. “Good morning, Doc. How’s my dad?”

  He grabs my arm lightly and directs me to the side of his room. “He isn’t doing well, Mrs. Roberts. It’s getting harder for him to breathe, and he’s not responding well to the medications we are giving him. I’m afraid it is a matter of time at this point.”

  I fall against the wall for support because that’s not what I was hoping to hear this morning. I need to mentally prepare myself and make one last attempt at contacting my sister.

  I head to the family waiting room to make some calls before I even go see him because at this point once I’m in the room no one will not get me out. I call Chase first, and he answers on the first ring.

  “Hey, T. Is everything okay?”

  I sigh. “No. The doctor says it’s only a matter of time. He’s not responding to the medications, and it’s getting harder for him to breathe.”

  There is a pause on the phone. “I’m on my way.”

  I cut the call and dial my sister next, and still my call goes to voice mail. “Chelsea, please, I am begging you to please come to the hospital.” I start sobbing into the phone. “He’s in pain and can’t breathe, and I know he’s holding on to see if you’ll come. He loves you, Chelsea. He told me so yesterday, and I know you know he does.” I hang up, unable to take anymore.

  I pull myself together and call Jack on his cell. He answers right away. “Hey, Jack. I just spoke to the doctor, and he says it’s a matter of time. I’ll probably be out the rest of the week.”

  “I’m so sorry, Theresa. Do what you need to do and keep me posted. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.”

  “Thanks, Jack. I got to go.” I cut the call and head to my dad’s room so I can spend as much time with him as possible.

  I walk in and he’s sleeping. I can’t even say peacefully because he doesn’t look peaceful at all.

  “He’s really having a hard time, sweetie,” my mom says from her chair on the side of his bed.

  “Have you eaten? Do you want to go get some coffee and breakfast? I’ll stay with him.”

  She stands from her chair. “Sure. I have been in this chair a while now. I could use a few minutes to stretch my legs now that someone is here with him. I’ll be back in a little bit, and I’ll bring you a coffee with me.”

  I nod as she leaves the room. I must have been really tired because my mom woke me when she came back to the room. I fell asleep holding my dad’s hand with my head on the bed.

  “Here, I brought you some coffee.”

  I stretch in my chair. “Thanks, Mom. I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

  “I know, sweetie. It was a rough night for all of us. I went home but barely slept a wink, thinking the hospital was going to call.”

  “Nah. He promised me last night when he sent me home he would be here in the morning. As much as I knew he would keep his promise, it didn’t make it any easier. I know he’s holding on for Chelsea. I just wish she would show up.”

  My mom rubs her hands over her face. “Your father is a stubborn man, Theresa. Where do you think Chelsea gets it from?”

  I chuckle because she’s right. Chase walks in the room with coffee and doughnuts for us, and we start laughing because Mom just came back with coffee.

  “Well, we have enough caffeine to last us a little while.” He chuckles as he places the box of coffee and the doughnuts on the table in my dad's room. I open the box and grab a blueberry doughnut.

  “You’re so good to me. I knew there would be one in here for me.”

  He gives me his little grin. “I thought it might cheer you up.” He kisses me on the cheek.

  “Thanks, Chase.”

  My dad sleeps most of the morning. I keep checking my phone, and still no word from my sister. Chase and my mom have run downstairs to get us some food for lunch. My dad’s lunch is here, but I’m not sure he’ll wake up to eat it.

  All of a sudden, he jumps up coughing and gasping for air. I hit the emergency button for the nurse’s station, and two nurses and his doctor come running into the room. I jump out of the way so they can tend to my dad. I’m silently pleading for them to please save him, to please not let him go yet. He coughs so hard he vomits on himself and all over his clothes. They inject something into his IV, and in a few minutes he’s breathing a bit better, but now they have to clean him up so I have to leave the room. I’m standing outside, and I start to lose it. I collapse to the floor and sob into my knees.

  “Theresa?” my mom says, full of fear.

  “I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to scare you. He’s okay now, but they have to clean him up because he vomited liquid all over himself. I just got scared, and I was all alone, so I took a minute to let go.” I get up off the floor.

  “It’s okay, sweetie. We all need that sometimes.”

  She hugs me and rubs my back while I pull myself together. The nurses come out of the room and let us know that we are all set to go back in. He’s awake but resting. I run back in ready to sit back at his side. He has his head back, and he’s looking up at the ceiling like he’s in pain.

  “Are you okay, Daddy?”

  He looks down to see us all back in the room. “I am now. That was painful, but they gave me some meds, and I feel much better now.

  “You look tired, Daddy. Do you want to rest or to try eating some of this food?”

  He takes a few breaths. “I’m sleepy. I think I’m going to rest.”

  He falls asleep, and we all get comfortable for a long afternoon.

  Shortly after we finish eating, there’s a light knock on the door, and it is Sean and Tracey coming to visit us and to see how my dad is doing. I get up, hug her tight, and thank her for coming.

  “We came to sign up for birthing classes, and I wanted to stop in while we were here. I hope you don’t mind.”

  My mom smiles at her. “Oh not at all, dear.”

  Chase gets up and offers Tracey his seat, which she gladly takes. “How are you feeling?” I ask her.

  “I am feeling much better now that I’m keeping food down.” They stay with us and just talk for a while about life in general and how they can’t decide on a name for the baby. She wants to find out what the sex of the baby is to narrow down the name hunt, but he wants to wait until delivery so they ca
n be surprised. They finally agree that if they can’t decide on a couple of names for each sex by week twenty they will find out the sex.

  A short while later they are leaving for the evening, and we’re talking about what we want to do for dinner when Abbey and Seth show up with food for us. She brought my dad some soup and picked up sandwiches from the local sub shop for the rest of us. They brought a variety of different kinds to choose from. They even brought chips and some small bottles of soda.

  “Thought you guys could use some food that didn’t come from a hospital cafeteria.”

  I smile and thank them. “You guys just missed Sean and Tracey. They were here signing up for birthing classes and stopped in to visit.”

  “Actually we saw them in the parking lot as we were locking up the car. I swear that woman is carrying a boy, and I pray Sean lets her find out. The wait is killing me. I can’t imagine what it’ll do to her when she starts nesting.”

  We start laughing. We eat our dinner and my dad starts to stir.

  “Daddy, Abbey brought you fresh soup. Are you hungry?”

  He grumbles a no and goes back to sleep.

  I rub the top of his head. “Okay, Daddy, you just rest.” Once I know he’s sleeping, I go back to eating and talking quietly with my friends.

  “How’s Katie dealing?” Abbey asks as the guys hang in the corner of the room chatting.

  “She’s doing all right I guess. I talked with her for a few minutes about it this morning before school. I was honest with her because I wasn’t going to pretend everything is okay. Her grampy is really sick, and she should know that.”

  Abbey nods at me. “I agree with you. She should be aware of what’s going on. She’s close to her grampy. It wouldn’t be fair to keep it from her.”