Burn Out

by Cheryl Douglas

  She looked around the opulent lobby of the building that was once her home, and he saw a look he couldn’t discern pass her face. Before he could question it, it was gone and she was making her way towards the elevator.

  He was relieved she wasn’t stumbling or swaying, so she hadn’t had enough to drink to impair her judgement. He loved her too much to take advantage of her, but he wasn’t above using alcohol to lower her defenses if it meant she would finally surrender to something he knew they both wanted.

  As soon as they stepped inside the elevator and the doors closed, she backed him in to the wall, kissing him with the need of a woman who hadn’t been thoroughly satisfied in a long time. The image of her tangled up in the sheets with her co-worker forced its way into his head, but he refused to let it dampen his excitement. It didn’t matter if she’d taken a lover during their separation. The only thing that mattered was that he would be her last.

  He pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were half-closed and glazed with the lust fueling her uncharacteristic conduct. She wasn’t normally the one to initiate sex and his conscience kept telling him she’d had more to drink than he realized. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, breathing heavily as he pressed his forehead to hers. He cursed himself for posing the question when the silence lingered, heightening the tension.

  “I need you,” she whispered. “I don’t want to, but I do.” She ran her hands over his chest. “I have to feel you inside of me again, Evan. It’s been so long...”

  He groaned as the elevator announced they’d arrived at his penthouse suite. Pulling the keys out of his pocket, he made quick work of unlocking the door and pulling her inside. He flattened her against the wall in the entry and hoisted her up so she could feel the effect she was having on him.

  Without hesitation, she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, locking her hands behind his head.

  She was by far the smallest woman he’d ever been with. In fact, the first time they made love, he was afraid of hurting her, but she’d quickly convinced him she was able to give as good as she got and he learned to love everything about her from her petite stature, to the honey blond hair that kissed his chest as she rode him in to oblivion. He lived to see the passion in her eyes as she came apart in his arms and allowed him to take her to a place he knew only he could.

  He’d almost convinced himself he’d have to be satisfied with the memory of those incredible nights when the months began to stretch on and on. But she was here, back in his arms, and soon she would be back in their bed. They could finally begin to re-build their fractured relationship.

  Carrying her into the bedroom, he gripped her waist tightly until he stopped at the foot of the bed. Kissing her deeply, he savored the moan that escaped her lips. After setting her down on the bed, he stepped back and began stripping his clothes off. He wasn’t going to give her a chance to change her mind, not when he had everything he’d been praying for this past year within his grasp.

  Her eyes tracked his every move as she began following suit, tossing the last garment to the floor as he crawled up her body, pinning her to the mattress. “This is where you belong,” he whispered, kissing her tenderly, savoring the feel of her soft skin brushing against his. “Right here, in our bed.”

  She closed her eyes and turned her head to the side, prompting him to draw the tender skin into his mouth. He knew the exact spot that turned her inside out and used his experience to do just that.

  “Please…”

  Intent on prolonging her pleasure until his own body started making demands he couldn’t ignore, he moved his lips over her silky skin, kissing every inch of her.

  She gripped the headboard as though she felt powerless to control the sensations rippling through her body. Moans turned into cries as her breathing became more labored with each swipe of his tongue.

  Kissing her intimately, he savored her exotic flavor. No one had ever turned him on the way she did. He’d had his share of lovers, but Erika was the only woman he’d ever made love to. It was almost a sacred experience as he worshipped her body in a way he never had before. He was ashamed to admit he’d taken their love for granted for too long. No more. She was right to leave him, to make him realize that he’d been a fool to put anything above the love they shared.

  Erika struggled to break free of his hold when her body began to spasm beneath him, but he wouldn’t let her escape until he’d wrung the last gasp of pleasure from her. Taking his time to love her the way he should have for years would hopefully prove to her that he intended to put her needs above all else this time.

  Kissing his way back up her body, he finally reclaimed her mouth in a heated kiss that had him sliding inside of her without thinking to ask her whether she was still using protection. It didn’t matter to him. If she got pregnant with his baby now, it would only solidify a relationship he already knew was destined to last forever.

  He moved slowly, shocked by how tightly she clenched him in her moist heat. “What’s that about?” he whispered in her ear, praying she would confirm his hope that he had been her last lover.

  She tried to ignore him until he ceased the tempo that was giving her so much pleasure. “What?” she asked, sighing.

  “You know what I’m talkin’ about.”

  Their eyes locked before she said, “I haven’t been with anyone else.”

  “I love you so much,” he rumbled in her ear, barely able to contain the desire to roar in satisfaction. She was still his in every way.

  “Evan,” she said, pushing against his chest.

  “Sssh…” He kissed her shoulder as he let his body speak for him. He thought he’d loved her before, but that was nothing compared to what he was experiencing now. He knew he wouldn’t last as long as he would have liked, but he would have the rest of his life to show her how much he missed her.

  “Oh… don’t… stop…” She was breathless, almost frantic, and he could tell she was desperate for him to help her reach another climax.

  Tweaking her breasts, he claimed her mouth in a fiercely possessive kiss that left no doubt who she belonged to.

  “Yes…” she cried, turning her head into the crook of his neck as her short nails dug into his back.

  Her reaction robbed him of what little control he’d been able to maintain as he finally surrendered his body to her silent pleas. Thrusting into her until his legs trembled, he let his head fall forward, resting on her shoulder as a gradual smile relaxed his face. “That was even better than I remember.”

  She reached up to stroke his face and his gut clenched when a tear slipped down her cheek.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, rolling off of her and pulling her into his arms.

  “Nothing.” She pressed a kiss to his chest as she placed a hand over his pounding heart. “I’m just tired.”

  Now that they had re-established their connection, Evan felt confident they could sort out the details in the morning. Kissing the top of her head, he smiled. “Get some sleep, angel.”

  ***

  Erika sat on the edge of the bed, torn between crawling back under the covers or running for the front door. Last night was a colossal mistake. She had finally started to get over him, after the longest and most painful year of her life, and in just one night, she was right back at square one, mending her broken heart all over again.

  With a deep sigh, she tiptoed to the front door with her high-heeled boots in her hand. She had to get to work. Hopefully the busy day would distract her from thinking about last night.

  Berating herself, she slipped through the door like a thief in the night, trying not to wake Evan. She knew she couldn’t avoid him forever, but she needed time to collect her thoughts before she faced him again. There was no excuse for her reckless actions, except… she still loved him, and last night she’d felt compelled to steal just one more night before she forced herself to let him go forever.

  She couldn’t deny last night felt different, almost a
s magical as it had in the beginning of their relationship when he couldn’t get enough of her. During their last year, sex often seemed like a chore he performed because he felt he had to. Just another item on his never-ending to-do list. Admitting that he stopped craving her body the way he once had broken her heart. She swore that sometimes he had looked right at her without realizing she was there. She often asked him the same questions over and over again, knowing he hadn’t heard a word she’d said because he was so lost in his own thoughts.

  She stepped on to the elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor, hoping she wouldn’t have to wait too long for a taxi. She slipped her boots on as she waited for the elevator to finish its descent.

  “Well, well, this is a nice surprise.”

  She looked up to see Charlie, the security guard she’d often chatted with when she came down to get her weekend newspaper. “Oh, hi,” she said, her face flaming when she got a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her hair was tangled, her make-up smeared, and there were red burn marks on her neck and chest. Talk about taking the walk of shame.

  “It’s so nice to see you again, Dr. Carlton.”

  “You as well,” she said, praying he would sense her need for discretion. “Um, I was just going to call a taxi.”

  If he was surprised by the statement, he didn’t let on, though she knew he must have wondered why Evan wasn’t driving her home.

  “Let me make that call for you,” he said, slipping in behind the security desk where he monitored the cameras and responded to the residents’ concerns.

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that,” she said, reaching in to her purse. “I have my cell phone with me.”

  “No trouble at all,” he said, smiling.

  She watched him make the call, wishing she could hide outside and wait for her ride.

  “Can I get you a cup of coffee?” he asked, pointing to the carafe set up on a small credenza behind the desk.

  “I’d love one, thanks.” She wasn’t able to face her day until she’d had at least two cups, and since she was already pressed for time, she figured she may as well take him up on his offer.

  “Still take it black?” he asked, pouring the steaming beverage into one of the take-out cups stacked on the tray.

  “You have a good memory,” she said, smiling as she reached for the cup.

  “I remember a lot of things,” he said, raising a bushy white eyebrow in question. “For example, I remember how happy you and Mr. Spencer were together.”

  She brought the cup to her lips, trying to ignore his comment. He’d often pried in to her personal life, asking her when she and Evan planned to marry and have children. Telling her that when he was young, men and women didn’t live in sin. She’d dismissed his outrageous comments because of his advanced age, knowing he didn’t mean any disrespect, but her emotions were too raw to take his questions in stride this morning.

  “I’d rather not talk about it if you don’t mind, Charlie.”

  He frowned at her. Obviously, he didn’t appreciate being dismissed. “You look as though you’ve lost a little weight since I saw you last.” He peered around the desk to size her up. “You’d best be careful; you don’t want to get too thin.”

  He sounded like her grandparents, and in fact he was probably close to her grandfather’s age, so she gave him an indulgent smile. “I’ll have a chocolate croissant before I go to work. Will that make you happy?”

  He chuckled as he pushed his wire-framed glasses back up on his nose. “It’s a start. I must say though, I’m surprised your fella wouldn’t fix you a nice big breakfast before you left for the day.”

  She took a sip of coffee, hoping her taxi would arrive and save her from having to respond. “Evan and I aren’t getting back together, Charlie.”

  “Huh,” he said, folding his arms over his chest. “I guess that’s one of them arrangements where you get to have all the fun without the promise of bein’ faithful.” He shook his head. “I’ll tell ya, I just don’t understand you young people today. Back in my day, you met the person you wanted to marry, made a commitment, raised your family, and if you were lucky, you still liked each other by the time the kids flew the coop.” He grinned, revealing a few jagged teeth. “That’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

  Erika tried not to get sucked into his fantasy of the perfect little life, especially when it seemed so far out of her reach. “I guess times have changed.”

  “So, you and Mr. Spencer aren’t gettin’ back together?”

  “No, we’re not.” Her cheeks flamed and she searched the parking lot for her taxi.

  “That’s a shame. He sure hasn’t been himself since you left him.”

  Erika refused to take the word of a man Evan only saw in passing. “He’s a very busy man. I doubt he’s even had time to miss me since I left.” It hurt her to acknowledge it was likely true. He hadn’t taken long to give up on her when she refused to take his calls.

  “Sometimes we try and keep busy so it won’t hurt so much.”

  Erika looked up, surprised to hear his voice thick with emotion. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I just…” He cleared his throat and reached for a tissue. “I turn eighty tomorrow, and I never thought I’d still be here.” He lifted his glasses and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I thought Edith and I would’ve retired to Florida by now. You know, a nice little condo on the beach.”

  “Why haven’t you?” She knew she was prying, but since he’d always insinuated himself into her personal business, she thought turnabout was fair play.

  “Edith has dementia. It got real bad last year, so I had to put her in that new retirement community, Bryson’s. I keep workin’ here just to pay those bills. Plus, it gets me out of the house. The residents in this building are like my family.” He shrugged. “I don’t really have anyone else. My kids and grandkids are spread out all over the country. Hardly ever see them.”

  Charlie’s story broke Erika’s heart. She’d known him for several years and he often spoke about his wife. She always admired the fact they still seemed to love each other after so many years. “Evan’s cousin, Alisa, is married to the owner of that retirement community, Liam Bryson.”

  “Ya don’t say,” he said, smiling. “It’s an awful nice place. Expensive, but worth every penny. Hell, I’d keep workin’ ‘til my dyin’ day to could keep Edith there. She deserves a place like that.” He gave her a wobbly smile. “Only the best for my best girl.”

  Erika blinked back tears as she caught sight of a taxi. She moved around the desk and reached out to hug Charlie. “It was nice seeing you again. Give my best to your wife.”

  “It was nice seein’ you too,” he said, patting her awkwardly on the back. “I hope to see you around here again real soon.”

  “I don’t think you will,” she said, reaching for one of the tissues. “But thanks.”

  “For what?” he asked, looking confused.

  “For reminding me that I need to hold out for what you and Edith have.” She dabbed at her eyes. “I have to believe my Charlie’s out there waiting for me.” She choked back a sob when she realized she’d almost convinced herself to settle for less than she deserved again. “I want a man who’s going to love me the way you love your wife. Who’s going to put me first.”

  He grinned as he gave her two thumbs up. “Don’t give up hope, darlin’. He’s out there somewhere. You might even be closer to findin’ him than you think.”

  Chapter Four

  Evan reached over and patted the bed, hoping he could convince Erika to cuddle for a few minutes before they had to get up and go to work. It didn’t take long for him to realize he was alone. He sat up, listening for the sound of the shower or the coffee maker bubbling in the kitchen, some indication that she hadn’t left without a word.

  Cursing, he pulled himself out of bed, grabbed his bathrobe off the back of the bathroom door, and stumbled into the kitchen hoping to find at least a note to explain her hasty departure. Nothing.


  He stormed down the hall, his mood getting worse with each step. He was tired of the echo of his footsteps… the TV filling the silence… the sound of his own voice. He was tired of being alone. Last night had been incredible. For the first time in a year, he’d felt he had someone to share his life again and he had no intention of letting her go without forcing her to acknowledge last night had been a game changer for them.

  He grabbed a quick shower and made his way downstairs, hoping the security guard could tell him when she left. “Hey, Charlie,” he said, raising his hand in greeting as he stepped off the elevator. “Just the man I was lookin’ for. I was wonderin’ if you’ve seen Erika this mornin’?”

  Charlie’s tired blue eyes darted to the front entrance and Evan knew he felt torn because of his loyalty to Erika. He’d always said she was one of his favorite tenants. She never forgot to buy him and his wife a Christmas gift. She even went so far as to go door to door and have everyone sign a get well card for him when he’d been hospitalized with pneumonia two years ago.

  “It’s okay,” Evan said, smiling to soften the sharpness in his tone. Every minute that passed was a minute wasted, and he’d already wasted too much time away from her. “She and I are tryin’ to work things out.” He sighed when Charlie looked down at the clipboard in his hand instead of responding. “Did she say something to you about us?”

  It was hard to believe she would confide in an eighty year-old security guard she barely knew when she had trouble talking to him about their relationship, but he was desperate enough to ask. “If she said something, I need to know, Charlie. Please.”

  The older man sat down in his upholstered swivel chair with a heavy sigh. “When I saw her here this mornin’, I really thought you kids were gonna be able to work things out, Mr. Spencer.”

  Evan went on high alert. The pity in his voice conveyed his message loud and clear. “She told you we weren’t gettin’ back together? Is that what you’re tryin’ to tell me?” He gripped his car keys in his fist, his frustration mounting with each passing second. “Did she say why?”