Burn Out

by Cheryl Douglas

  “It wasn’t easy, but once we got married and the boys were born things changed. Luc missed out on so much of Nikki’s childhood. He didn’t want to make the same mistake with his sons.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “Evan wouldn’t make that mistake either, Erika. I know he wouldn’t. Family means everything to him. The only reason he’s working so hard at Titan is because he wants to make his father proud.”

  “I understand that, and I don’t begrudge him a career he loves, but you can’t sustain a relationship when you’re working all the time.”

  “I know, honey.” Marisa looked across the aisle at Ryan, who was sleeping with Brianna’s head on his shoulder. “Evan has had to bear so much of the burden on his own for so long, but that’s starting to change. And I know he realizes now that it wasn’t worth losing you.”

  Erika wanted to believe that Marisa was right, but she knew Evan’s mother couldn’t offer an unbiased opinion. “I’ll always love him, but-”

  “Do you want to go through your life feeling that way?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You want to marry someone else when in your heart you’re still in love with my son?”

  “It’s not that simple, Marisa.”

  “Yes, it is,” she said, quietly. “We can’t pick the men we fall in love with. The heart wants what it wants and our head eventually has to come to terms with that.”

  “Even if it’s not what’s best for us?”

  “Isn’t it?”

  Evan walked past and glanced at the two women huddled together, raising an eyebrow in question until his mother shooed him away with her hand.

  “Can you honestly tell me that meeting Evan wasn’t the best thing that ever happened to you?” Marisa asked.

  Erika sighed. There was no right answer to that question. “There were days during our relationship when I would have said yes, but there were also other times when I wish I’d never laid eyes on him.”

  Marisa laughed. “I feel that way about my husband sometimes, but so what? It dosen’t mean I don’t love him. It just means that we’re human.”

  To hear Marisa talk, it sounded as though she thought Erika and her son were merely going through growing pains in their relationship, but Erika knew it was more than that. “I can’t be happy with the way things were.”

  “That’s not what I’m proposing.” Marisa sighed. “People change, honey. They learn from their mistakes. Hopefully they grow, mature, and move on to different phases in their lives. Evan’s not the same man you walked out on. Are you going to give him a chance to prove that?”

  Erika smiled when Evan turned around to look at her. “Maybe. I’ll think about it, Marisa.”

  “That’s all I ask.”

  Chapter Ten

  Erika was exhausted by the time she staggered out of her office, ready to call it a day, but the sight of Evan leaning over the counter, flirting with her receptionist, quickly infused her lagging spirit.

  “What are you doing here?” she snapped. She frowned at the young woman behind the desk before turning her attention back to Evan.

  “I was hopin’ you’d be willin’ to go to the animal shelter with me tonight?”

  They had only returned from Bahamas a week ago. Surely he couldn’t have moved already. “You bought a house?”

  He smiled at her shocked expression. “I told you I would.”

  “Yeah, but…”

  “I moved in yesterday. Turns out it was vacant. I don’t have a lot of furniture yet, but I have the interior designer workin’ on that as we speak.”

  “Huh.” She had to admit she was surprised that he actually seemed to be following through with his plans. The Evan she used to know would take immediate action when it came to business, but his personal life always took a backseat, relegated to another day, when he had more time. “I’m afraid I’m tired and hungry, Ev. It’s been a long day. Rain check?”

  “What if I promise to feed you and get you a double espresso from your favorite café down the street? Does that sweeten the deal?”

  She had to smile at his persistence. Evan was used to getting his own way, and while she knew rejection was good for his ego, she found herself wanting to spend time with him. He had invaded her thoughts relentlessly since they returned from the wedding and his claims that he was ready to make some changes in his life had piqued her curiosity.

  “Fine, but I have to pick Chloe up first.”

  “What time do you close?”

  She checked her watch, a non-descript gold-tone watch with a leather band. Nothing like the flashy diamond Rolex he’d given her. “The day shift leaves in about two hours, then they start to settle the dogs in for the night.”

  “That should give us enough time. Why don’t we pick her up on the way home instead? I’d love to see how our dogs get along.”

  She rolled her eyes at his assumption. “You can’t just walk out of the shelter with a dog, Evan. You have to fill out paperwork, provide references, go through an approval process.”

  He grinned as he propped an elbow on the tall counter. “Done, done, and done. I just have to pick out the dog I want to take home tonight.”

  Trying to catch him off guard, she asked, “Do you have everything the dog might need at home?”

  “I think so,” he said, looking adorably uncertain. “But you could check out my stash. If I forgot anything, the stores will be open for a few more hours.”

  “Okay,” she said, sighing. She propped a hand on her hip, regarding him carefully. “Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into? This is a big commitment.”

  “I told you, I’m ready to make a big commitment.”

  ***

  Evan watched with amusement as she scarfed down the greasy burger and fries. He knew it was a rare treat for her and she wasn’t shy about eating every last bite.

  “What?” she asked, looking self-conscious as she wiped her mouth with a paper napkin.

  “When I offered to take you out for dinner, I had something a little nicer in mind.”

  She wrinkled her nose and pulled on the top of the scrubs she wore. “I had surgery today, so I wasn’t exactly dressed for fine dining.”

  He thought she looked adorable in her green scrubs, but he knew she wouldn’t believe him if he told her so, so he settled for stealing one of her fries instead of responding.

  She slapped his hand while getting a fierce look in her eye. “You already finished yours. These are mine.”

  He shrugged. “It’s not my fault you eat slow. Growin’ up in my house, anything left on your plate was fair game.”

  She smiled. “I always tried to avoid sitting beside Ryan at those Sunday dinners.” A sad look passed her face and she looked down at her half-eaten hamburger. “I miss those dinners.” She cleared her throat. “In fact, I miss your family. A lot. It was nice catching up with them at the wedding.”

  It was difficult to feign nonchalance when he said, “You’re always welcome, you know that. If you’re not doin’ anything this Sunday, you should come.”

  She took a sip of her soft drink as she seemed to consider his request. “I’m not sure that would be a good idea. It might give people the wrong idea about us.”

  He shrugged, pretending it didn’t matter to him either way. “We’ll tell them the truth, that we’re friends. Nothing more.”

  Erika looked up at him, her eyes wide with uncertainty. “Is that all we are? Just friends?”

  His heart raced as he thought about all of the things he was dying to do to her. No, she would always be so much more than his friend. “Aren’t we?”

  She blushed as she dipped her head. “We did make love just a couple of weeks ago.”

  “Did we?” He tried to hide his smile as he reached for his soft drink. “I thought we had sex.”

  “You know what I mean,” she said, scowling as she looked around to make sure no one was sitting close enough to overhear their conversation.

  �
��Look, I thought I made myself clear in the Bahamas. You said you’re not interested, and I’m willin’ to respect that. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, does it?”

  “I don’t know,” she said, sitting back in her seat and pushing the cardboard container towards him. “Don’t you think it would be a little awkward?”

  “I don’t know,” he said, pretending to consider the question. “Does this feel awkward? Bein’ with me like this?”

  “Um, no, but…”

  “I get it, you’re worried about what Jeff might think.” It took all of Evan’s self-control to say the other man’s name without malice, but he was impressed he managed to pull it off. Maybe he was a better actor than he thought.

  “No, I fired him when we got back.”

  Evan’s mouth dropped open. When he recovered, he wanted to pump his fist in the air, but he refrained. “Why’d you do that?”

  “He was trying to tell me how to run my business and I didn’t appreciate it. A friend who owns another clinic in town told me he’d been researching his options for months, in case our personal relationship didn’t evolve the way he hoped it would.”

  Evan clenched the napkin in his fist and tossed it on the plastic tray. “Does that mean he was tryin’ to get with you just to secure his place at the clinic? What, he thought he was gonna marry you and become a 50/50 partner just like that?”

  She winced before admitting, “I guess that was his plan.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, squeezing her arm. “That really sucks.”

  “Yeah,” she said, easing back against the bench seat. “It does. I thought he was my friend. I mean, he really helped me through the break-up and-”

  “Can I ask you a question about that?” Evan knew this wasn’t the time to place blame, but he’d been dying to ask this question for a long time.

  “I guess so,” she said, looking wary.

  “Did he convince you to dump me?”

  She started tearing the edges of a paper napkin instead of looking him in the eye when she responded. “There was nothing between Jeff and me before I broke up with you, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “No, I know you’d never cheat on me. I was just wonderin’ how much he figured in to your decision.” If he was the main reason, Evan knew he’d have to go over to his house and beat him until he begged for mercy.

  “I don’t know. He talked to me a lot about how a man who loved me would never treat me the way you did. I guess after a while, I started believing him.” She looked up to see the scowl on Evan’s face and reached for his hand. “I never questioned whether you still loved me, Ev. No matter what he said.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” he said, relishing the feel of her hand on his. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved you.” He didn’t want to say it in the past tense. He wanted to tell her he still loved her, would always love her, but he knew she wouldn’t feel comfortable spending time with him if she knew the truth.

  Sliding out of the booth quickly, she said, “We’d better get going if we wanna make it to the shelter before they close.”

  ***

  Erika led Evan into the animal shelter and it was obvious she felt at home there. He knew she carried on her father’s tradition of collecting donations for the shelter during the holiday season and helping the resident veterinarian whenever they were inundated with an influx of abandoned animals in need of immediate medical attention.

  The elderly woman behind the desk beamed at Erika. “Dr. Carlton, this is a pleasant surprise.” She looked past her and smiled at Evan. “You should have told us she would vouch for you. We would have approved your application in no time.”

  Evan rested his hand on Erika’s back and smiled. “I didn’t want to start name droppin’.” He winked at the gray-haired woman and smiled. “I hate when people do that.”

  Erika back-handed him in the stomach. “This coming from the guy who knows enough celebrities to fill this room.”

  The woman, whose name tag read Violet, smiled at their friendly banter before asking Evan, “You’re still interested in the same three dogs you visited with yesterday?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I was hopin’ Erika could help steer me in the right direction.”

  “I’ll just get you set up in the adoption room,” she said, reaching for a set of keys hanging on a hook below the desk. “Then I’ll bring the dogs in one at a time.”

  “Sounds good,” Evan said, leaning an elbow on the desk as Erika wandered to a bulletin board to browse pictures of pets waiting to find their forever families.

  “Coming here is so hard for me,” she admitted, scanning the stories that accompanied the pictures. “I just want to take every one of them home.”

  Evan laughed. “I might just have room for that in the new place I bought.”

  She raised an eyebrow as she turned to face him. “Really? Lots of acreage?”

  “About forty.” He shrugged. “I know it’s a dramatic departure from condo livin’, but I didn’t want to be in some estate subdivision with perfectly manicured lawns on the golf course.”

  She smiled wistfully. “I remember.”

  So many times over the years she’d pointed out fabulous properties in newspapers and online, but he’d rewarded her with barely more than a cursory glance. Now he’d give anything to have help making his big, empty house feel like a home. “You wanna check it out?” he asked. “I sure could use your help gettin’ the dog settled. We could pick up Chloe on the way, give them a chance to get acquainted.” He smiled. “You know, since they’re gonna be spendin’ so much time together at the doggie daycare.”

  She raised an eyebrow at that announcement. “You plan on bringing your dog to my clinic every day?”

  “Sure, assumin’ you can make room for him. I hate to think of him home all alone all day while I’m at work.”

  She smirked. “Yeah, I’m sure you do.”

  She was obviously on to him, but he didn’t care as long as she was still smiling. “Does that mean you’re willin’ to take him on? I know you also offer dog trainin’. I may sign him up for some classes. What do you think?”

  “It’s a great idea,” she said, wandering around to peer in the windows lining the wall. “If he doesn’t understand the basic commands already, you’ll want to start with sit, stay, down, learning to come when called, and walking on a leash.”

  “See,” he said, pointing at her. “I knew I brought you along for a reason. I have so much to learn.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You could’ve bought a book.”

  “That wouldn’t be nearly as much fun.”

  She looked at him a long time before admitting, “I hate to admit it, but I am having fun with you. It’s been a long time since we’ve hung out like this. I kind of missed it.”

  “Does that mean you think this friends thing could work out after all?” he asked, gesturing between them. “You know, for the sake of the dogs.”

  She laughed. “You’re crazy. You know that, don’t you?”

  It had been so long since he’d made her laugh like that, he’d almost forgotten how much he enjoyed hearing it. Crazy about you, he wanted to say. Instead he said, “I’m told that’s one of my more endearin’ qualities.”

  “If you say so.”

  “We’re ready when you are,” Violet said, holding the leash of a curious Irish Setter.

  “Oh wow,” Erika whispered. “He’s beautiful.”

  “I think so, too,” Evan said, smiling. He ushered her into the small room he’d occupied yesterday. “I spent a good deal of time with him yesterday and I have to say, we really hit it off.” He waited until Violet took the leash off and closed the door behind her before he asked, “What can you tell me about this breed?”

  Erika knelt down and allowed the dog to sniff her hands before rubbing him behind the ears. “Let’s see, they need a lot of exercise. They’re born hunters…”

  “No problem. There’s plenty of room to run and lots of wildlife
around my place. I doubt he’ll catch anything, but he’s bound to enjoy the chase.”

  She looked up at him. “That’s your favorite part too, from what I recall. Once you had me, you weren’t too interested in keeping me.”

  He knelt beside her and began petting the dog as he tried to ignore the urge to touch her. Being around her so much, pretending he felt nothing, would be harder than he thought. “I’ve grown up a lot since then.”

  “I almost believe you,” she said, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. “You do seem… different.”

  “In a good way?” he asked, hoping she couldn’t tell how much her answer meant to him.

  “Yeah, in a good way.” She grinned when the dog started licking her hand. “Now, about this boy. How old is he?”

  “Five. His previous owner passed away, and none of the family members were able to take him.”

  “That’s so sad,” she said, scratching the dog’s chin. “But it looks like you might be getting a second chance, buddy.”

  As soon as she said that, Evan knew this was the dog he wanted to take home. He wanted to give Skipper a new lease on life, the same way he prayed Erika would give him another chance. He watched her examine the dog’s ears, nose, and throat. “Is there a problem?”

  She proceeded with her examination until she seemed satisfied. “Everything looks good to me, Evan. There aren’t any specific health problems unique to the breed, but you do need to be aware of a few things. They tend to be high strung, so they need an outlet for that energy. They’re hunting dogs, so they need the opportunity to follow those instincts, but the proper training is really important. They’re not a highly intelligent breed…”

  She frowned when he laughed at the last point she made. “What’s so funny?”

  He patted the dog on the back. “If that’s the case, you and I should be the perfect pair, buddy.” He offered a hand to help her to her feet.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, slipping her hand into his.

  His gaze lingered on her lips for a second before he said, “Sometimes I think I’m not nearly as smart as people seem to think I am.”