by Liz Durano
“Who was that girl with you? It was on Page Six,” Harlow says as I pull her closer. She rests her chin on her hand as she leans on my chest.
“Sophia’s a runner-up for a modeling reality TV show. My company’s PR firm arranged it, thanks to Dad. It’s his idea of a first-aid kit against all the talk about you and me, but if you’re worried about—”
“She’s really young.”
“Does it bother you?” I ask as I push a lock of hair from her face. She doesn’t answer right away, but I know the age difference between us bothers her. It’s in her eyes.
“One day you’ll look around and see these beautiful young women—“
“And you’re not? You’re absolutely beautiful, Harlow, inside and out, and that’s why I’m here right now, with you. If the last six weeks told me one thing, it’s that I don’t want to be with anyone else but you.” I caress her cheek with the back of my finger. “I love you, and no matter what Dad thinks about all the drama and his fear that it will affect my company’s bottom line, it won’t matter to me. Just like your patients choose you for your skill, my clients pick me for my expertise, not my personal life.”
Relief floods her face, and I kiss her, my lips brushing against hers tenderly. The sensation of her lips brushing against mine sends a blast of heat down my body, settling right in my solar plexus. It tells me that what I’m doing is right, even if I ended up abandoning my guests. Besides, they’re long gone now, for it’s raining, a late night downpour that’s perfect for snuggling under the softest covers I’ve ever felt before. I lie back on the pillows as Harlow rests her head on my chest. Underneath the sheets, she’s wearing only an oversized t-shirt, her legs bare and rubbing against mine lazily. The sheets tent again, and I force myself to think of other things. Focus, Dax. F–0-C-U-S.
“How’s the divorce going?”
“It’s with the judge now,” she replies. “Phoebe says that the judge will, most likely, rule the Hamptons property to be mine while Jeff keeps the Manhattan apartment. The quitclaim deed I had signed before I left was considered invalid because of my emotional state, but it makes for an equitable distribution of assets if he doesn’t demand anything else.”
“I’m glad he’s not getting away with all your joint property. It was joint for a reason.”
“I know, but it’s almost over,” she says.
I kiss the top of her head, loving the scent of rose oil. It brings back the first time we officially met outside the Pearl, of her and her finger making a dent on my chest. It brings back the range of emotions I saw on her face, of surprise, followed by anger, and later, when Harlow finally let her guard down, her grief. “Harlow, I’m sorry about Marcus. And I’m sorry you have to go through all this with Jeff. But whatever drove you to rent the Pearl, I’m not exactly sorry about that, not when it brought you to me.”
“Maybe it was simply meant to be, even if I had no clue then what an Earthship was. It just felt like home the moment I walked in there with Anita.”
“That’s because it is home, Harlow, and one day maybe it will be a home for us if you want it to be.”
“Home is anywhere you are, Dax. I know that now,” she says, tracing the hairs on my chest. “Even here in this tiny studio apartment.” Suddenly, she pulls away from me, reaching for an envelope from the bedside table. “Oh, speaking of home, there’s this.”
“What is it?” I ask as she resumes her spot next to me under the covers and as I hold the envelope with one hand, Harlow takes my other hand and rests it flat on her belly, just above her pubic bone.
“The fetus…” She pauses, rolling her eyes as she catches herself saying medical terms again. “Well, the baby, that is, is six weeks going on seven. And right now she’s the size of a pea.”
“A sweet pea,” I grin. “But how do you know she’s a she?”
She pouts. “Because I don’t want to call her an ‘it.’”
“What if I want to call her a ‘he?’”
“Then we’ll have to fight for it,” Harlow says, giggling. “Anyway, so the baby is sitting right here, where your hand is.”
I trace the C-section scar with my index finger. “That low?”
“But as she grows bigger, she’ll start filling this space.” She takes my hand and slides it higher, towards her belly button, suppressing a giggle as I dance my fingers over her skin. Then she slides it higher still, halfway between her belly button and her sternum. “All the organs have to scoot up just a little.”
“Just a little? That doesn’t look like a little to me, Harlow. Is that why they say pregnant women get heartburn?”
“Pretty much, and I already get it, by the way. Just be forewarned.” She lets go of my hand and pulls out the piece of paper from the envelope I’m still holding. All I see is her name along with a bunch of numbers that mean nothing to me. But I see the letterhead.
“Who’s Dr. Teves?”
“My obstetrician,” she replies. “These are the test results that tell me the hCG levels in my blood.”
“What’s hCG?”
“It’s the pregnancy hormone. Human chorionic gonadotropin—“
I laugh. “Okay, pregnancy hormone it is, then. So what do the numbers mean exactly?”
“Usually, at six to seven weeks, the range is generally about 2,400 to 4,800.”
I peer at the series of numbers under the results. “But this one says 88,000. Why’s that?”
Harlow doesn’t answer right away, though she’s grinning. “A higher range could mean multiples, like twins… or more.”
It takes a few seconds for her words to settle in, for a fog seems to have descended on me. Did she say twins… or more? I take the paper from her hand and study the results again. 88,000. I look at Harlow in amazement, and she’s grinning like a Cheshire Cat. “Harlow, does this mean you’re… we’re having—”
She exhales. “Well, we could be having twins, but I want to wait a few more weeks to be sure.”
I set the paper aside and pull her to me, kissing her. I’ve never loved a woman this hard before, and it feels fucking amazing. Scary, but amazing.
“But, Dax, we really should be practical about this.” She pauses, then takes a deep breath. “What if I lose—“
“Harlow, no.” I draw away from her, what she told me when we were on the Gorge Bridge returning to me, about the miscarriages. “I can’t promise you a perfect pregnancy, not when I’m in no position to know what will happen tomorrow or next week, or next month. But what I can promise you is that no matter what happens, I’ll be right here with you the whole time.”
She looks at me hopefully, the fear in her eyes fading as I continue. “And once everyone knows about this, hell, my family will be with us, too, unless you don’t want them there—”
“Oh, but I do, Dax. I want all of you. Even the whole package. Nana, Dyami, Sarah, Benny, Gabe. Even your dad, if he ever softens up to me.”
“Eventually,” I say, pulling her closer. “But I’m serious, Harlow. I’ll be with you. You hear me? I don’t know about New York, but we could live wherever you want to live. We’ll make things happen. We’ll make us happen like we did back at the Pearl.”
I rest my forehead against hers, breathing hard. My heart is racing, my pulse drumming in my ears. I must be delirious, promising her the world but I’ve never felt this happy before. And while I’m still reeling from the news (damn, but I’ve got some good swimmers), I feel like running outside in the rain and shouting out the good news to the world.
“Come here.” I pull her back on the bed next to me, her head cradled on my shoulder. I’d give Harlow the world if I could, but right now, all I can give her is me, one hundred percent of me and whatever the future awaits us. We watch the rain outside in silence; the only other sound is a clock ticking somewhere. It’s reassuring, a reminder that no matter what happens, we’ll make use of all the time that we have together. And damn if I don’t want forever with Harlow. After the last six weeks without her, I don’t w
ant to be away from her ever again.
A few minutes later, she rubs her legs against mine, her movement slow this time. Deliberate. Then she takes my hand and rests it over the same spot again, just above her pubic bone. There’s a playfulness to her voice this time when she speaks. “Did you know that while all that’s stuff is going on for the baby, you know… pregnancy stuff?”
“Yes?”
“There’s a little side-effect,” she murmurs, biting her lower lip as she eyes me mischievously. “You see, all that blood rushing down here often makes me feel… horny.”
She whispers the last word like it’s forbidden, but she’s being playful, reminding me of the Harlow I know with all the sex positions she wanted to try out at the risk of my dick breaking off. I turn to face her and press my hand against her mound.
“That’s a terrible predicament, Harlow. I’m glad to know I wasn’t alone with the same problem. Well, not the pregnancy part.”
“So, do you think you can remedy my predicament, Mr. Drexel?”
I kiss her lightly, my hand slipping inside her panties to find her already wet. Fuck, Harlow James is going to be the death of me. “How much time do we have, Dr. James?”
My question implies so much more than it sounds, only because I want everything from her. I want all of Harlow James just as she gets all of me in this life, and beyond.
She pulls me towards her, our foreheads touching, our breaths intermingling. “Forever, Dax Drexel. We have forever.”
THE END
Dax and Harlow’s Playlist
The idea for this story came to me when I first heard Brendan James’ A Different Kind of Love. This was followed by many other songs that helped inspire the book.
Different Kind of Love – Brendan James
New Mexico – Dorian Spencer
Your Beating Heart – Brendan James
New Soul – Yael Naïm
Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey
Heartbeats – José González
Open Your Eyes – Snow Patrol
Ho Hey – The Lumineers
I Wanna Be Your Lover – Prince
Take It Easy – Eagles
Stupid For Your Love – Brendan James
Brave – Sara Bareilles
Beast of Burden – The Rolling Stones
Sex on Fire – Kings of Leon
Here For You – Brendan James
Nothing For Granted – Brendan James
She Loves Me – Stephen Duffy
Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol
Landslide – Fleetwood Mac
Let It Rain – Brendan James
Only Love Can Hurt Like This – Paloma Faith
Radioactive – Imagine Dragons
Heat of the Moment – Asia
Fight Song – Rachel Platten
He Loved – Brendan James
Better In Time – Leona Lewis
Just Be – Paloma Faith
Still – Matt Nathanson
Budapest – George Ezra
Creo en Ti – Reik
Acknowledgements
This book is a labor of love borne from friendships, near and far, of friends , family, and places that have stayed with me. To Sarah Jane Crow, for your friendship and creativity, and the days of magic in your little casita in the South Valley. Thank you for all the love, the talks, the art, and for being the beautiful soul that you are. Dearest Tsuya Chinn, thank you for your friendship and kindness during times when I needed it the most; I miss your beautiful face and your laughter. My eternal gratitude to Brendan James, whose song planted the seed for this story from the first moment I heard it up to now, and your gift is something I’ll always treasure. You have made this book even more special than it already is to me.
I’d like to thank the many people who beta-read this baby for me on Wattpad and also answered all my questions: Alexia Montibon-Larrson, Amanda Lenore Acheairs, Leah Liburd, Beth Carpenter, Michelle Jo Quinn, Ana Simons, Mary Fahey, Michelle Morrow, Janet Sevonukun, Laura Shaw, Cherry Shrestha, Helen Graul, Lou Ann Rice, Robert Alvarez, and J.C. Gunn. I also want to thank Amber Garcia, Jacqui Velez, Rosa Peña, Donna Gibbs, Pat and Paul Sinclair, Lisa and John Stancin, and Victoria and Lantz Simpson.
Thank you to my family for their support, to Lucas and Matt who understand my creativity and craziness, and most of all to my brother, Paul – thank you for believing in me. I love you.
Other Books by Liz Durano
THE CELEBRITY SERIES
Loving Ashe
Loving Riley
FIRE AND ICE SERIES
A Collateral Attraction
STANDALONES
Finding Sam
About Liz Durano
Born and raised in Cebu City, Philippines, Liz Durano majored in Journalism in college only to discover that she preferred writing fiction over news and ad copy. She worked as a radio newscaster, freelance writer and massage therapist in private practice before returning to writing full time. She lives in Southern California with her family, a Chihuahua, and way too many books.
Find Liz online:
Website: LizDurano.com
Facebook: LizDuranobooks
Twitter: @LizDurano
Instagram: Lizdurano
Subscribe to her Newsletter: LizDurano.com/esew
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