Emilie's Christmas Love

by James Lavene

  Emilie hugged her tightly, thinking about Nick's sister and how terrible it must have been to lose everything. To have known her life was fading, her daughter and son left behind to fend for themselves. There were worse things than being alone.

  If I'm lucky enough to take care of your little girl, she silently promised Nick's sister, I'll love her twice as much for both of us. And Adam too.

  She watched as the tree was ready to fall.

  "Cool, huh?" Adam came to stand beside her. "We'll get to have that party tonight after all."

  The tree fell, crashing to the ground through branches and icicles. Nick dragged it through the least crowded path to the snowmobile. Adam helped him tie it to the sled.

  "Joda has promised hot chocolate when we get back," Nick told them.

  "Who?" Emilie was amazed. She’d never known her aunt to do anything quite that ordinary.

  Nick shrugged. "That's what she said. I didn't want to question her too closely."

  "That was a good idea.”

  First Joda had been there for breakfast that morning and then she was willing to make hot chocolate? Emilie had always hoped having a child in the house would make a difference to her aunt, but truthfully, hadn't believed it.

  "I want to go back with you and the tree," Adam said quickly to Nick, jumping on the back of the snowmobile.

  Nick disagreed. "I think you should stay with Emilie until I get back."

  Adam groaned and protested. "Can't Amber stay with her? I'm freezing. I need hot chocolate."

  "That's fine," Emilie told him. 'Take Amber, too. She's been shivering for the past ten minutes. I'll be fine."

  Nick nodded, taking the little girl from her. "Are you sure about Adam? It'll only take me a few minutes to get back."

  "He's probably soaked after all the snow angels he's made," she replied. "I'll be fine. You don't have to come back for me. I'll walk back."

  Adam looked a little guilty when she smiled at him. "I'll stay with you, Emilie. I'm not that cold."

  Emilie could see that his lips were trembling. His face was beginning to look a little pinched with the cold. "I want you to go with your uncle so that you can watch the tree until I get back. A tree like this has to be protected."

  "Protected?" Adam wondered curiously.

  "Christmas tree thieves."

  Adam nodded in understanding. "Don't worry. Amber and I will keep it safe until you get back. Then can we have the party?"

  "What party?" Nick asked.

  Adam started to tell him about it and Nick frowned.

  "We'll talk about it when I get back, Adam," Emilie said to keep the peace. "Remember about the tree."

  "I will," the boy promised.

  Nick shook his head. “Are you sure you’re okay coming back on your own?”

  Emilie smiled. “I’ll be fine. Go ahead. I’ve walked this a thousand times.”

  “All right.” Nick started up the snowmobile and sped over the ridge, dragging the big tree behind them.

  In the quiet he left behind, Emilie sighed. She realized that in two weeks when they were gone for good, it would be that quiet all the time. All she could do was pray that she could bring Nick around to her side about the children.

  She considered how she was going to accomplish that goal as she walked up the shallow ridge. She hadn’t managed to say anything about it to him so far. She still wasn’t sure where to start.

  Emilie didn't like the underhand way things had turned out with Nick. She would have liked to have faced him openly about adopting the children. Technically, since he’d told her about his plan, she could bring it up to him without worrying about revealing Alain's part in the whole episode.

  Maybe that night after the children were in bed, she would speak with Nick about adopting Amber and Adam. She had a plan. She could marshal her forces and propose all of her ideas to him. She counted them off on her fingers as she walked.

  1. It would be better for the children to be taken by one person, if he planned to adopt Adam out.

  2. They would be nearby if he wanted to see them.

  3. She could provide for them without a problem, even if he wanted her to give up her teaching job.

  She would hate the last because she loved teaching, but she’d be willing to give it up for a few years until Amber was in school. Then she could always return.

  The wind was biting as the temperature began to drop. She pulled her coat a little closer. It had been years since she’d walked out here in the heavy, wet snow. Her leg was going to be sore when she got back. It was going to be a challenge to keep up with Adam's idea of having a party to put up the tree.

  By the time she reached the top of the crest, she was breathless but her plan for approaching Nick about the children was taking form. They would have their party and have a wonderful meal. When the children were in bed, she would offer Nick a drink and lay out her proposal.

  He’d be softened up by then. He had to know that she could be a good mother. She could point out the obvious—she could give the children anything, provide for a wonderful college when the time came, set them both up with trust funds that would enable them to pursue anything they wanted when they grew older.

  She sat down on the little stone bench a few feet after she'd reached the top of the ridge, adjusting her leg so that it didn't hurt. She heard the drone of the snowmobile approaching from the house and stood up quickly. Too quickly. Her tired leg gave out on her, refusing to allow her walk at all.

  When Nick pulled up in a wide swath of snow that sparkled like diamonds in the sun, she smiled and pretended to look at the beautiful trees and softly mounded drifts. It was beginning to snow again. Fat, wet flakes were falling on everything. She shivered in the chill wind, disguising it as she rubbed her hands together.

  "Ready?" he yelled above the engine.

  "I'll be a little longer," she replied airily. "I'm enjoying the scenery."

  Nick turned off the engine and got up off the machine. "Having trouble with your leg?"

  She eyed him dubiously as though he'd asked her if she wanted to jump off a cliff. "My leg is fine. I might have had a problem once or twice around you. That doesn't mean it happens all the time."

  "I didn't say it did." He sat beside her on the bench. Snowflakes caught in his dark hair and eyelashes. “Isn’t there anything they can do for you?”

  She sighed. She didn't want to have this conversation, especially not now when she was about to make her move to adopt the children. "I had polio as a child. My father didn't believe a Ferrier would be weak enough to allow something like not having an immunization bother her. I was a little disappointing, I guess."

  Nick didn't look at her while she was speaking, but he heard the pain and anger in her voice. "How old were you?"

  "I was twelve."

  "Just in time for parties and dancing and dating, huh?"

  "Just in time," she agreed with a throaty chuckle. "It was just as well anyway. I was sort of mousy and more interested in my books than in boys or dancing or dating."

  "I'm surprised your parents didn't push you to get married and produce an heir to inherit all of this." He swept his hand wide, fighting a lump in his throat and the urge to hold her close. He wanted to soothe away that pain that he heard in her voice and give her all those years that she had lost.

  She looked at the ground, not planning to tell him that she couldn't have children. "Well, they died when I was eighteen. I suppose they would’ve if I'd been a little older."

  Nick looked up at the gray sky. "It's getting colder. I think we're in for some heavy snow."

  She looked up as well. "I think you're right."

  "So, can you walk? Or do I carry you?"

  She turned her gaze on his face, looking at him carefully in the stark white light around them. She could see compassion in his eyes—maybe a trace of pity. Mostly there was an acceptance of her and her disability.

  It curled inside of her and refused to budge when she tried to tell herse
lf that it didn't matter. She didn't want his compassion. Certainly not his pity. She didn't need his acceptance.

  That warm, fluttery feeling refused to go away. It made her smile when she didn't want to. It made her eyes mist over and her good leg feel as though it couldn't support her either. Slowly, warmth that had nothing to do with being inside or outside, was pervading her.

  She stood up very slowly, careful of her bad leg. "I think I’d like to go now.”

  He stood up beside her and took her arm, encouraging her to lean on him. "I was just waiting for you."

  They walked, side by side, to the snowmobile. Nick helped her sit down on the wide seat.

  "How does this work?" she asked.

  "Would you like to try it?" He saw the light in her eyes and the excited parting of her lips. He’d learned a lot from Adam and Amber in the year he'd had them. He knew anticipation and yearning to do something when he saw it.

  "Could I?"

  "I'll show you how." Five minutes later, after showing her the controls, Nick climbed on the back of the snowmobile behind Emilie and put his hands lightly on her waist.

  She grinned and started the engine then pressed the accelerator. The sled roared across the snow. "This is great!"

  She took a turn quickly and Nick had to grab her with both arms to stay on the machine.

  "Sorry!" A secret little voice said she really wasn't all that sorry. His arms were warm around her. She liked the feel of him up against her back.

  "That's okay," he said loudly. "Just come back for me if I fall off."

  Emilie revved the engine into a quick turn around the maze and Nick held her more tightly. Laughing, she went a little faster.

  "Emilie" he remarked close to her ear, "if I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to scare me."

  "It's okay to admit you're scared, Nick," she told him. "It makes you human."

  "Change places with me and we'll see who's human." He nipped at her ear after he spoke.

  "Owww!" She let the snowmobile glide forward with a jump. "You bit me!"

  He leaned forward, pushing himself so close against her that his legs were clamped on either side of hers. Then he stretched his arms across hers and put his hands over her hands on the controls. "Want to go real fast?"

  Emilie screeched as he pushed the speed up even faster. The snow flew around them, dazzling crystals illuminated by the sun into diamond colors. He turned the snowmobile toward the hill at the back of the house, going down again toward the ridge that crested above the trees.

  "Where are you going?" She was exhilarated and scared as she saw the ridge coming up quickly. If they hit the ridge at that speed they might crash.

  "Wherever I'm going, you're going with me," he said into her ear. "Hold on tight!"

  The machine hit the ridge and jumped out into the air, flying across the space between the crest and the hill below them. It came down with a thud in the snow and took off again toward the next hill.

  "Wow!" She'd left her stomach on the top of the ridge, but the thrill was awesome. "Could I learn to do that?"

  "With practice." He smiled into her rosy face and sparkling eyes. "I think we should head back now."

  She was disappointed, but agreed. "Whatever made Aunt Joda volunteer to make cocoa could just as easily die away."

  They stayed as close together as they went back up the crest. Emilie didn't try to move away from him, letting him work the machine around her. She liked the feeling of strength in his hands and arms. She was warmer, even though the wind was cold, as they rounded the maze toward the house.

  They parked the snowmobile near the door and she turned off the engine. “Thanks. That was great! I think I know what I want for Christmas!”

  Nick got off of the machine from behind her and offered her his hand. "They're a lot of work, but they're fun. You can take it out again later, if you like."

  "As long as I promise not to jump any hills?" She took his hand and got off.

  "Would you sneak and jump it anyway?" he asked. "Even if you promised not to? How trustworthy is Emilie Ferrier?"

  "I'd be too scared," she replied slowly. "I'd probably get to the edge of the ridge then back up."

  He laughed "So, what you're saying is that you might sneak if you thought you wouldn't kill yourself?"

  "Exactly," she answered pertly. "Cocoa?"

  They went into the house to find Aunt Joda with the children in the foyer. They were looking at the tree, exclaiming over its size and perfection.

  "We have enough ornaments and trappings to cover two trees this size," Joda grumbled about Emilie's buying spree.

  "Maybe we should go out and get another tree," Emilie replied with a grin.

  "All right!" Adam yelled. "Let's go get another tree!"

  "She's just kidding," Nick assured him. "We'll have to make do with this one."

  Amber clapped her hands and looked up at the tree with wide eyes.

  "Do you have a stand big enough to put it in?" Nick asked Emilie.

  Each member of the group turned to look at her.

  She shrugged. "I guess that was something I forgot."

  "Let me take care of that," Nick volunteered. "Now, what's this about a party?"

  Adam and Emilie rushed in to explain it at the same time. Amber tripped and fell headfirst into the side of the tree, crying loudly as the wet, sticky branches touched her face.

  Aunt Joda ran forward to grab the child. Emilie stopped speaking to watch her aunt croon and comfort the little girl. She petted her head and kissed her cheek, her eyes never leaving Amber's face.

  Emilie was surprised and pleased. Everything had to fall into place, she determined, for all their sakes.

  They agreed on a small party under Nick's thunderous dark scowl. Nick and Adam were going to go out and get the tree holder and Amber, Joda, and Emilie would provide the feast.

  "Feast?" Nick demanded. "You mean like some cheese crackers and chips, right?"

  "Exactly," Emilie agreed somberly.

  He eyed her questioningly. "Nothing elaborate. Nothing overwhelming. No truckloads of food or anything. Right?"

  "Right," she agreed again. "No truckloads of food."

  After Nick and Adam left, Emilie called the caterers. It took some doing but she managed to get them to come on short notice because they thought she might throw some further business their way in the future. Also, because they charged her double what they would anyone else.

  Emilie hummed as she called for entertainment, knowing just what she had in mind. Adam would be thrilled! And Nick—she sighed. Well, Nick would be surprised.

  She was looking through Amber's clothes for the right outfit when Adam came home to tell her that Nick had dropped him off with the tree holder, but had to go back out for an emergency call.

  "He said he'll be back soon," he assured her. "Where's the food?"

  "You'll have to wait until it gets here," she told him. "In the meantime, you have to get dressed for the party."

  Adam groaned. “Do I have to?”

  “Yes, Jake, you do,” she answered.

  "Okay." The boy trudged into his room with her. "I think my suit is in Uncle Nick's room."

  They went through the connecting door. Adam went to the closet, looking for his only suit to show Emilie.

  Emilie, in the meantime, saw the thick stack of typewritten pages on the bed. She glanced through them before she realized that she was snooping.

  "That's okay," Adam told her. "You can look at it. Uncle Nick writes all the time. Someday, he's gonna get a book published. We've talked about it. He has to find the right publisher and make the book perfect."

  Emilie looked at the manuscript again. It was poetry, what appeared to be hundreds of poems. Nick was a poet. Who would have guessed?

  Adam was looking in the closet again. Amber was trying to take the laces out of a shoe. Emilie read some of the poems to herself.

  The room was quiet. Emilie felt her face get hot. She looked up at the chil
dren, and seeing them still occupied, looked down and read another poem.

  They seemed very good to her. Of course, she wasn't an authority, but she knew someone who was. She could give him a call later. There might be something she could get for Nick for Christmas after all, something to help make one of his dreams come true.

  "Here it is!" Adam brought his blue suit out of the closet.

  "What about this?" Emilie carefully set down the poems. She reached for a bright red Christmas sweater that Nick must have put out for Adam.

  "You like that?" Adam asked her.

  "I like this. Try it on and let's see how the pictures will look."

  "Pictures?" he asked brightly. "Okay!"

  They dressed him in the red sweater and blue jeans and Amber in a pretty green party dress.

  They went to Emilie’s bedroom where she had them both sit in chairs while she fretted over what she was going to wear. She finally decided on a floor-length burgundy velvet gown with a round neck that dipped low across her breasts. She changed her clothes behind an antique screen.

  It was simple, very elegant, and basic. Maybe not the perfect party dress for decorating a tree, she considered, but she was going to wear it anyway. She piled her hair up on her head, letting a few curls dangle down on her cheeks. She looked at her jewelry and decided on an old cameo that had belonged to her great-grandmother.

  "Hurry!" Adam hissed, looking through a crack in the door. "Uncle Nick's here and somebody's bringing in food!"

  Nick went upstairs to change his clothes. He didn’t bother looking for Adam and Amber. He knew where they were.

  He descended the long stairway again a few minutes later. The lights were low in the foyer. Twinkling Christmas fairy lights graced the walls like enchanted ropes against the patterned wallpaper. There was music swelling sweetly past him. The smell of some spicy food tantalized his nose.

  When he reached the ground floor, his mouth dropped open. A long, low table was set against the far wall. There were two servers standing behind it, dressed in white. A three-piece string group was playing music from an alcove near the curve of the stairs.

  Was this her idea of a joke? He frowned as he searched for Emilie. If she was trying to make him angry, she'd succeeded. This wasn’t his idea of some snacks and a small party. Did she have to go to such extravagances? Was she trying to show them how much money she had?