Awakened (Auralight Codex: Dakota Shepherd Book 1)

by Shei Darksbane

  Ralof lifted a hand, and the six-pack of sodas it was carrying, in greeting as he approached, and I mimicked his gesture politely. His other hand was clutching a large bag from a local burger joint that smelled like heaven. I realized that since he’d invited me for an early lunch I might have expected that food could be involved, but it had somehow utterly slipped my mind.

  “Dakota, right?” He thumped the bag, and sodas onto the picnic table and met my offered hand with an enthusiastic shake in which he gripped my entire forearm. I was pretty sure my teeth were rattling when he released me and gestured to the bag invitingly. “So, Amorie tells me that some explanations are in order.” He sat down on the picnic bench next to me and started to open the bag I hadn’t touched yet. “I only spoke with her briefly last night, so I’m not sure what all she has told you already.” He pulled out a couple cartons of fries, standing them on the table before upending the bag, which turned out to otherwise be full of burgers, onto the table. He shoved half of the dozen burgers toward me and started to unwrap one of his own.

  I chuckled. “Are you sure that’s going to be enough for you?”

  “I ate a few on the way, so don’t worry about it.” Welp. Wasn’t expecting that. Ralof gestured to the food again and I felt reasonably assured that he would insist until I ate something. So I picked up a burger and started unwrapping it. It didn’t take much to convince me to eat it. It smelled delicious. I took a bite while contemplating how to begin.

  “Well, the first thing I’d like to know is what is it that she thinks I am that apparently means I’m yours to take care of?” I plucked a fry from the box on my side of the table and looked up at him.

  Ralof finished chewing a bite before answering me. “Werewolf. She did not tell you that much already? Hmm.” He lowered the burger thoughtfully. “I had assumed she would have gone at least that far. But perhaps it is for the best that you heard it from me instead.”

  “What?” I stared down at my hands. Werewolves didn’t make green fire explode from their hands, right? “But… I’m scrawny and… small! And I-I’m practically allergic to being outside.” This wasn’t real. I wasn’t a werewolf. Werewolves turned into, well, werewolves! On the full moon, right? Well some stories liked the idea that it wasn’t just the moon that called the beast from the man so to speak. “But if I was a werewolf, wouldn’t I have turned into one by now?”

  He lifted the burger again and finished it off in the space of a minute before wadding the wrapper into a ball and ringing the nearby trashcan. “You have never changed before?” His voice was deep and resonant, rumbling in his chest when he spoke, and I was trying to pick out the origin of his accent, though I was pretty sure it was something Northern European. He looked me over consideringly before picking up another burger and beginning to unwrap it. “That is decidedly odd for someone of your age. Usually the first change would occur early in your teens.” The way he emphasized early suggested that he had taken me to still be a teenager. Sigh.

  “I’m twenty-eight.” I took another bite of my burger and tried not to feel awkward about correcting him.

  “Hmmph. That so?” He grumbled a thoughtful sound before devouring another helpless burger. I watched him out of the corner of my eye and noted to myself how proper his speech and movements seemed to be. I don’t know why I expected otherwise, but I think it had more to do with how much he resembled a Viking than any assumption about werewolves.

  “Yup. And I’ve never turned into anything unusual on the full moon.” I frowned, lowering the burger in front of me. “At least… not that I know of.”

  Ralof tilted his head and watched me curiously. “Hmm? What are you thinking?”

  “Just… something that happened when I was younger.” I chewed at my lip. “Or rather, it was a condition that I had.” Ralof grunted and the vibration of his voice felt as though it were nudging me onward. “When I was a kid, I had this… problem. The doctors called it ‘Transient Global Amnesia’. Translates to ‘blackouts’. I’d just… lose track of where I was and wake up somewhere else, not remembering how I’d gotten there.”

  Ralof frowned and dipped his head in a way that felt as though he were saying, “Go on”.

  “That’s it really. It was a long time ago, so I don’t really remember all the medical stuff so well. But I still have troubles with my memories surrounding those times. I try to think back on when I was sixteen to nineteen and it’s just a jumbled mess. A lotta holes in what I can recall. And sometimes, I still see… things that aren’t really there.”

  Ralof raised an eyebrow. “Things that are not there?”

  I shrugged. “Nothing big. Just… shadows. Like memories that aren’t fully there.”

  Ralof tilted his head. “What do the doctors have to say about that?”

  “Nothing really. It just means that sometimes I think I see someone standing near me, but it’s just a shadow or a trick of the eyes.”

  Ralof furrowed his brow at that. “So, did you hurt someone?” His expression was sober, gentle even.

  “What? No. I just blacked out and wandered off a bunch of times apparently.”

  “Ah, I thought perhaps you saw someone because… Nevermind.” Ralof seemed to ponder what I’d said as he took a handful of fries from his box. After devouring the fries, he reached for the six-pack and broke off a frosty can, offering it to me before taking another for himself. He promptly popped the tab and guzzled half of it in one long draw. He thumped the can onto the table with a pleasurable “Ahhh!” before waving a hand as if prompting me to go on. “What sort of places did you wander off to?”

  “The woods near my house and the even bigger woods near my Nan’s house, mostly. As far as I can remember. Like I said, it was a long time ago. It all started when I was like fifteen or sixteen and it’d stopped by the time I was nineteen. I don’t know other than that.” I took another bite of the burger and looked up at him. I could believe this man was a werewolf. He was so… big. And strong. And he had a magnificent beard. He could be a werewolf. There was just no way I could be a werewolf.

  Ralof grunted again. “Ah. There. But there is something odd about this still.” I tilted my head, asking, and apparently the body language was enough. “It is conceivable that you would begin changing, and perhaps not remember it. But it is not very reasonable that you would then stop changing again. It would be more likely that you would eventually change and remember it. Or that… someone would get hurt. Changing and not remembering is not completely unheard of. But the changes just stopping… That is not something I have heard of before.”

  I frowned. “Then, how are you even sure I’m a werewolf? I mean…” I trailed off as Ralof met my eyes. Something in his posture commanded me to be silent and still. And I was. And that’s when I felt it. Deep down inside, there was this feeling. It was the same feeling I’d had the night before that was gnawing at me to run from the predator in the club. The same feeling had told me to avoid getting into a car with the vampire. And that feeling right now was telling me to do as Ralof desired. I gazed at him bewildered. “It’s… true…” I conceded. “I can feel it.”

  Ralof nodded. “Mmhmm. Your wolf is… distant. Like she is hidden away somehow. I have never felt anything quite like it. But she is there. And the wolf knows.”

  “You mean… your wolf knows.” I meant it as a question. Ralof nodded again. “You knew before? When we met on the street?”

  “Mm. I was not completely sure at first. And that made me wonder if perhaps you were something else. Fae perhaps. But now that you have Awakened, it is clearer. I can smell it, as well as feel it.”

  I nodded slowly. “So, what does this mean? Am I going to start changing into a werewolf every month on the full moon? And does being a werewolf have anything to do with my green burny hands?”

  Ralof tilted his head, furrowing his brow. “With what?”

  I waggled my fingers. “Green burny hands. Did Amorie not say anything about that?”

  Ralof frowne
d and shook his head. “No. What do you mean by that?”

  I shrugged, staring at my hands. “Green fire came out of my hands the night I Awakened. Amorie said she might know what caused it, but she wanted to look into it before telling me more.”

  Ralof hmm’d thoughtfully. “I am not very familiar with magic, and there are no magic-users among the pack. Perhaps it is best that we wait to see what Amorie can find out for you, for now. But I am certain at least that it has nothing to do with your being a werewolf.”

  I nodded. I didn’t expect it to have anything to do with being a werewolf necessarily, but I couldn’t help it if I’d wished he’d had an answer for me all the same. The suspense was killing me. “So then, what about turning into a werewolf on the full moon and terrorizing the village folk?”

  Ralof quirked a smile. “Werewolves can change at will. The moon calls to us. Calls to the wolf to run, to be free, to be with pack. But we do not turn into ravenous monsters without control. Unless…” his smile receded. “Unless one is not in control of the wolf. As is often the case with the young.”

  “So, you’re saying that young werewolves turn into ravenous monsters on the full moon?”

  Ralof shook his head. “No. Just that young ones who change for the first time alone may often find themselves out of control, and they can do a lot of damage before the pack finds them. As I said, the moon does call to us. It is not the full moon that makes us change. But it does rile the wolf, and thus, it can make it more likely for one with little control to change.”

  “And I guess changing into a half-wolf-half-person is likely to cause problems if you’re living in a city or something at the time.” I imagined how horrible it would be for a werewolf to turn if they were living in a dorm or a hotel or something.

  Ralof rumbled. “It can be. Though it is not always the Varulf that one changes into the first time. More often, it is just the wolf.”

  “The Var-what?”

  “Varulf. The war-wolf. A Norwegian word from which ‘werewolf” derived. It is how we refer to the hybrid form you mentioned.” Ralof’s accent seemed to go with the Scandinavian word like it belonged there, so I decided he was probably Scandinavian or something very similar.

  “So, Var-vulf and normal wolf?” I knew I’d said it badly, but I sucked at picking up words from other languages so it was expected.

  “Mm. Though it’s said ‘var-ulf’. Varvulf, I believe, is Swedish for the same.” he corrected gently. “The varulf is as you said, half-wolf-half-person. But the wolf is simply wolf.”

  I thought about that for a moment. It made a kind of sense. In the old stories, werewolves were people who could turn into wolves, but in some stories, they were people who turned into furry, fangy wolf-man amalgamations, like the varulf Ralof was telling me about. In other stories though, they were just big wolves. So maybe the truth was that some stories came from encounters with one form, and other stories came from encounters with the other form. As I considered that, I came to another realization that immediately set me on edge. “Wait. Why am I not freaking out right now? This is ridiculous. You just told me I’m a werewolf. I’m not supposed to be this calm, am I?”

  Ralof patted me on the shoulder softly. “You Awakened, Dakota, but your expectations are still built around the facade of the Unawakened world. You grew up with movies and books that taught you how an Unawakened person would react to startling revelations. You have relatively little experience, I would imagine, with how an Awakened individual reacts.”

  “So, Awakened people react differently from Unawakened?”

  “What you have to understand is that the vast majority of humanity is Unawakened. And the vast majority thus believes in some things they have come to accept as true. They do not believe in monsters and magic. For them, believing is very difficult, because to believe is to push against the reality they have chosen, as a people, to accept.” He said the last as if he found it somewhat distasteful.

  I considered that for a moment, then nodded slowly. “So because I Awakened, I’m somehow magically freed from disbelief?”

  Ralof shook his head. “Not precisely. The Unawakened world has accepted a truth. When you Awakened, you essentially broke that truth for yourself because you saw what was beyond it. It is like if you suddenly saw your mother taking off a mask and realized the face you had always thought was hers was not her real face. You would not be able to go back to believing in that mask, would you?”

  I shook my head. “No. I would always know.”

  “And once you know, you can not go back to not knowing.” He gazed steadily into the distance, appearing thoughtful.

  “Can’t unsee.” I muttered as I thought about that for a long moment, and considered my feelings on the matter as well. Ralof was right. If I thought about it directly, I wanted to question it, but it was because that’s what I knew I was supposed to do. If I just considered my feelings, I knew what he said to be true. I could feel the wolf inside me. I could feel the call of Ralof’s presence pulling at her. I knew that what he said was actually, factually true. So I pushed the worrisome doubting thoughts aside and chose to get on with my life. “Okay. Then I’m a werewolf. Sweet. So… how do I turn into one?”

  The question seemed to amuse him and I got the feeling he’d been waiting for it. “Well, normally it happens on its own the first time. But the situation with you is unusual, and uncertain. So I would say that it is probably best that you simply try it.”

  I glanced around. This section of the park was deserted and I wondered suddenly if that was the reason Ralof chose it. “Here?”

  “You could.” Ralof turned to face me. His posture reminded me of the way a father might stand at the ready to catch his toddler who was trying to take a step.

  “Okay, so just… what?” I set the remainder of my burger down and wiped my hands off.

  “You said before that you could feel it.” I nodded. “Focus on that feeling. Find it. Grab hold of it. Then try to become it.”

  I nodded again and considered the feeling. “Will it hurt?”

  Ralof nodded. “Oh yes. But you will get used to it.”

  I nodded again and stretched my arms around, preparing myself for the potential of pain. I clapped my hands together and rubbed them briskly, working up my nerve. I closed my eyes and focused on the place where those feelings had been the night before. The place that had rumbled inside when Ralof met my eyes. That part of me knew that he was wolf, that he was like me. I focused and found that place, and when I did, I just pushed.

  And I felt… nothing happening.

  I opened my eyes just to be sure and glanced at my hands, but they were just the same as they had been before. “It’s not working.”

  Ralof frowned. “That is odd. I can feel your wolf stirring.” He looked me over as if he expected some explanation to appear on my skin. “Hmm. There is something going on here that is very unusual indeed.”

  I frowned, sadly. “What does it mean?”

  Ralof shook his head, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. Despite the fact that I barely knew him, it was incredibly comforting. “I don’t know. But I will help you find out.”

  I nodded. “So… what do we do now?”

  Ralof patted me softly. “There is still much for you to know. You must learn about the world, and the supernatural. And you are still a werewolf. Even if you are having some trouble with the change.”

  “What does being a werewolf mean for me then?” I glanced up at him. “And why is it your job to take care of werewolves who Awaken?” I remembered the gesture I’d made with Amorie the night before - like shooting myself in the head - and tried not to smirk at him.

  Ralof straightened and lifted his chin. “I am the Alpha of the Lower Appalachian Pack.”

  I blinked. Of course he was. And now that he mentioned it, many of the feelings I’d been having with him made plenty of sense… How I’d felt like I could trust him, how I’d felt comforted by him, even how I’d felt compelled to do as
he wanted. “So that means you’re in charge, eh?”

  Ralof nodded. “Mmhmm. And it means that it is my job to take care of the wolves in my pack.”

  I glanced up at him. “But I’m not in your pack. I’m not even really a wolf.”

  Ralof smiled and it made me feel warm. “You could be. And of course you are. Just because you can not change, it does not mean that you are any less of a wolf.”

  I was amazed at his gentleness, at the kindness and comfort in his voice. I shouldn’t have been. But it was just not what I’d expected from the big, beefy, Viking guy. I smiled. Then I started laughing. Ralof cocked his head at me in question, and I laughed even more because I understood his body language. I think I laughed a bit too long, but Ralof wasn’t bothered, or at least I assume he wasn’t, considering he joined in and started laughing with me. “Nothing. Just… when we met before, I really got the wrong idea of you.”

  Ralof huffed mildly. “Oh? What did you think of me?”

  “At first I thought you were Amorie’s bodyguard. Then I thought you were her date. And I wanted to hate you quite a lot for that.”

  Ralof snorted. “Her date? Hah. No. Elisa would shave stripes in my fur.”

  “Elisa?” I grinned at the thought of a big bad werewolf made festive by electric razor justice.

  Ralof smiled proudly. “My mate. You will meet her soon enough. As for Amorie, we are… acquaintances. It is more business than pleasure.”

  I tilted my head with curiosity. “Oh? She referred to you as friends.”

  Ralof snorted again. “Ha. She would. Vampires.” He tossed his head as if no more needed saying.