“So, you made it to Calgary?”
I told him the rest of the story and he listened quietly. As I came to the end, I took a deep breath, preparing to reveal the last detail that I’d held off on mentioning as long as I could. “And now… I know why I couldn’t shift.”
Ralof tilted his head curiously and prompted me with a “Hmm?”.
I squeezed my arms around my knees tightly. “My Nan. Apparently, she’s a sorceress of some kind. And she put me back to sleep.”
Ralof growled quietly. “That is… not acceptable.”
I glanced up at him. “I… I think she just wanted to protect me.”
Ralof frowned and shook his head. “It was not her choice to hide your self from you. Look at the damage it has done you. Years without pack. Years you could have been learning and growing, wasted.”
I leaned my chin on my knees. “I really love my Nan, Ralof. She was… always there for me. Even when my parents weren’t. I don’t want to hate her. I’m trying really hard not to.”
Ralof softened his expression and patted my shoulder again gently. “I am sorry Dakota. It just—” He sighed frustratedly. “It makes me angry to think of how selfish that was of her.”
I glanced up at him. “It’s okay. I can forgive her.”
Ralof gave me a firm look. “But you need to go and talk to her about it.”
I winced. “Can I just not and say I did?”
Ralof shook his head. “There are things you need to know. Remember I told you that being a werewolf runs in your family?”
I grimaced, not yet sure where he was going, but already sure I didn’t like it. “Yes?”
“What if you are not the only one she has suppressed?”
I sighed. “Damn it.”
“I am sorry Dakota.”
“It’s not your fault.” I buried my face in my knees for a moment, then looked up. “Well, that’s something I’m not looking forward to doing.”
Ralof gave me an approving smile. “But you will do it.”
I nodded miserably.
“Then you will not do it alone.”
I tilted my head at him.
He patted my shoulder softly. “We will come with you.”
34
Conscience
The trip to my Nan’s house was scheduled for the coming weekend. I had a lot to do after the trip to Canada, so Ralof let me get away with putting it off for a few days. After our talk, we’d gone back inside and had dinner with the pack. I’d been itching for the chance to go running but Ralof had insisted we wait. “Since the Fourth of July is Saturday after next, much of the pack will be coming in for a long-weekend.” He’d told me. “I would like your first run to be a good one.” I couldn’t argue with that.
I caught a cab home after dinner. After telling the driver my address and chatting casually for a moment or two, I receded into the comfortable silence of the back seat and pulled out my phone. I went to text Amorie and noticed I’d missed her response to my brief text in Calgary. “I am glad to hear that you have arrived safely. Call me when you have time? I miss you.” I felt like a complete jerk. Not only had I avoided calling her because I didn’t want to talk about what had happened with Raelya yet, but I’d also completely dropped the ball on keeping up with her via text.
I sighed and texted her back. “Sorry, I missed your last text. Busy trip. Taking a cab home. Will call after I settle in.” And after sending that, I had to accept that I was going to talk to her as soon as I got home. Anxiety started to knot in my stomach immediately. I didn’t want to hurt Amorie. I put the phone away and stared out the window, sinking deep into my thoughts. I had a long list of things to do, and losing my girlfriend might well be among them.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, chirping merrily as I received a text back. I couldn’t bring myself to take it out and read it. I figured I’d save that for when I got home, and so I rested my head against the window and watched the passing darkness of the scenery all the way home.
There was a lot I needed to take care of, so as soon as I got home and tossed my luggage on the floor, I flopped onto the bed and started making calls. The text I’d received earlier turned out to have been from Sky, not Amorie. It read “I have spoken with Mr. Ayadeen. Call me when you get a chance.”
I decided to go ahead and do that in case Sky would be off work soon and inconvenienced by a late call. Not because I wasn’t ready to face Amorie yet. Just being polite. The phone gave me half a ring before Sky picked up. “Dakota. I trust you arrived home safely?”
“Yep. No turbulence this time.”
“Good. So I spoke with Mr. Ayadeen and he informed me he has looked into the matter of your grandmother.”
“And?”
“She was registered with the Magister’s Court once, long ago. She does not keep contact with them anymore, though she is hardly in poor standing. She achieved the rank of High Mentalist long before you or I were born.”
“Is that pretty good?” I figured it wasn’t bad. After all, SII had sent me to Sky because he was an expert Mentalist.
“It’s not shabby. Just one rank lower than myself. Her skill is noted, though as far as SII is concerned, we have little information on her in the past fifty years as she has given us no reason to take notice of her until now.”
“And that’s… a good thing? Right?”
“Oh yes. Well, probably. It means she doesn’t have a bad record with us. It doesn’t mean she has never done anything wrong. Though Mr. Ayadeen did check with contacts at the Magister’s Court and they assured him that as far as they are concerned, she is still a sane, upstanding magician.”
I let out a deep breath. “Okay. Good. Then it’s probably safe for me to go visit her, right?”
“I would think so. Though if you are not comfortable going alone, please contact your local SII office and we can arrange for someone to go with you for safety.”
I smiled at that. “Thanks. I appreciate that you guys would do that for me. But Ralof already said that the pack would come with me, so I’ll be fine.”
“Excellent. Well, in that case, I suppose that’s all for now.”
“Thanks again, Sky. SII or not, I owe you one for what you did. If there’s ever a chance for me to repay you, well, I guess you won’t forget where to find me.”
Sky laughed softly. “Indeed. And again, it was my honor. Though it never hurts to keep contact with good people.”
“No, I don’t suppose it does.”
“Well, I’ll let you get back to your evening.”
“Thank you for the information. Have a good one.”
“You too.” We hung up and I considered what I wanted to do next. I needed to call Amorie. I needed to woman up and face the consequences of letting myself get too close to Raelya, but I felt like I’d already drawn it out too much and now what if she was even more hurt because I hadn’t called? I decided to wait until I’d taken care of the other calls so I wouldn’t be distracted, but the next task on my list made it no easier. I called Nan.
Blessedly, her answering machine picked up and informed me that she and Gramps were “still kickin’ around somewhere, but it ain’t here”. I smiled sadly as I left her a message asking if I could come see her Friday afternoon and to call me back if that wouldn’t work out, otherwise I’d see her then.
After that turned out easier than I’d expected, I tried to remain hopeful as I dialed the next number. I called Adrien from SII, hoping to leave him a message and at least let him know how things had gone. I figured Sky had reported to him already, but I wanted to thank him and leave a query about my application as well. I was surprised when he answered the line. I’d have thought it was after his working hours by now. “Adrien Michaelangelo.”
“Uh, Dakota Shepherd?”
“Miss Shepherd! I’m quite pleased to hear from you. How was your trip?”
I smiled to myself. “Eventful. I uh… I figure you’ve heard from Sky about most of that?”
“Ind
eed. And again, I am truly sorry for the trouble you encountered with the Templar en route. That is not something you should have had to deal with.”
“Eh. Not like it was your fault. Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m home, trip’s over, everything was a success. My Alpha sends his appreciation for helping me solve this, and I’m eternally grateful as well.”
“Excellent. I’m so very pleased to hear that, Miss Shepherd. Is there anything else I can assist with at this time?”
“I was hoping to inquire about the status of my application…”
“Of course. I received a report from Mr. Simms and it seems that there should be no further trouble with your mental state. As a result, I would be happy to submit your application for review.”
“Thanks. I’d appreciate that.”
“Don’t worry, Miss Shepherd. I see no reason why it should be declined. Especially after the way you handled yourself with the Templar.”
I blinked. I hadn’t gotten around to telling him the details yet, and as I thought about it, I realized I hadn’t reported the details to Sky either. “Uh, how I handled myself? Someone told you how that went?”
“Actually, my father had the security footage from the airport confiscated for a clean-up operation and I reviewed the goings on myself. Excellently done, Miss Shepherd. Your grace under fire was commendable, and you dealt with the situation far better than most would have without proper training.”
“Well, I’ve had gun training and some security training with my job, and it’s not like it was my first time dealing with a hostile situation.”
“Perhaps not, but it was your first time dealing with a skilled agent with magic and sword training, I believe. So regardless, well done.”
“Heh. Thanks. I guess I just applied what I knew to the situation and did my best. My instincts were telling me something wasn’t right, so I didn’t let my guard down.”
“Having good instincts is a merit in and of itself. Listening to them is a far greater merit still. I think you’ll do fine at SII, Miss Shepherd and I look forward to working with you.”
“Does that mean I’m hired?”
“So long as my father does not veto the decision, but I don’t see why he would.”
“Awesome! When will I know for sure?”
“I’ll check with him tomorrow and let you know. If there is no problem with that, you can come in next week to sign the papers and for initial training and assignment.”
“Sweet! Thank you so much!” A tiny part of me burst into glitter and rainbows as a life-long dream coalesced into reality at last.
“I’ll be happy to welcome you to the team. Now, was there anything else?”
“Nah, I’m good. Thanks!”
“Well then, good evening, Miss Shepherd.” We hung up, I hopped off the bed and cheered, then danced until I caught my reflection in the mirror and gave myself a sheepish shrug. Now I wasn’t as upset about the next call on my list. At least I had good news to add to the awkward bits.
I settled down on my bean bag and dialed Amorie. After a few rings, she picked up.
“There you are, little wolf… I was starting to get worried about you.”
“Hey Amorie… I’m sorry I didn’t call before. Been a busy trip.” My nerves one-eightied on me and I sank into jitters again.
“It must have been very busy indeed. I was concerned when you did not text me back or call.”
I frowned. “I… I know…” How to say the things…
“Something is wrong.” Amorie’s stillness carried through the phone. I could imagine her stopping in the middle of whatever she’d been doing and going completely motionless as she often did when she noticed something troubling.
I sighed. “I… I just…” I swallowed my nerves and blurted it out. “Raelya kissed me.”
Amorie’s stillness lingered for a few long, silent seconds as my outburst sank in. At last she responded, “Oh.”
I rolled to the side, causing the beans to crunch under my weight as they shifted. “I’m sorry, Amorie… I didn’t want to tell you this over the phone…”
“You are… you are leaving me?” The hurt in her voice nearly broke my heart.
“What? No!” I half-shouted at the phone, suddenly desperate to be understood.
“Then… What are you saying?” Her voice was carefully neutral and the colder shift was unsettling and heart-wrenching.
“I just needed to tell you that it happened! I didn’t kiss her back. And nothing else happened. I just… I didn’t want you to be hurt…” I felt my eyes stinging with the tears that suddenly threatened to fall.
“Oh…” Amorie let out a long breath. “That is all?”
I blinked several times to push the tears away. “Yeah…”
Amorie laughed softly. “Oh Dakota…” She inhaled pointedly and then slowly let it out. “That is nothing to be worried about.”
I laughed helplessly. “It’s not? I mean… I didn’t want you to be hurt…”
“You said you did not even kiss her back. So you are afraid I will be hurt because someone else is interested in you?”
A part of my stomach clenched with the memory of the longing I’d felt to be close to Raelya. I wanted to be honest with Amorie, but I didn’t even really know what all those feelings were at this point. I took a deep breath and let it out. “I just don’t want you to be hurt, period. I care about you… a lot. I want to be with you. And… I’m not a cheater. I didn’t do anything with her. But I can’t say I didn’t feel anything at all.”
“Meaning?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. She’s another wolf and she’s in my pack. It’s weird. There’s this feeling like we belong together. It’s not just her. I get that feeling around Ralof and Elisa and Andrei and… it’s just part of being a wolf, I think. But I’m new to this. And I’m making friends… and I’m not alone for the first time in forever and…” I paused for a breath and Amorie stepped in again.
“My sweet Dakota, it is all right. There are many things that are new to you right now, and you have a lot to process at this point. You are learning new feelings from being a werewolf, from being with a pack, and I think… from some social troubles that perhaps I would like to hear more about at some point in person. I think it is perfectly normal for you to have some such feelings. It can be hard sometimes to differentiate adoration for a dear friend and the romantic feelings we have for a lover. Perhaps especially when that friend has feelings for you.”
“That. I just… I really like Raelya. I mean, she’s my pack, and I feel like we connected on a deeper level even. But… I want you. And I don’t want to lie to you, not even a little. I had feelings when she kissed me. But I pushed her away. I told her that wasn’t me. And nothing else happened.”
“It is all right, my dear wolf. Please, do not worry any more. I am not hurt, and we are fine.”
I sighed a long sigh of relief at finally hearing that. “I am so glad to hear that, Amorie.”
“So,” her voice took on a playful tone. “This is why you did not call?”
“Yeah… I kept trying to, but I didn’t really want to do this over the phone… I didn’t want you to misunderstand me and think I’d cheated or to think I was breaking up with you for a moment. Like just happened.”
Amorie laughed. “Well, I would rather have felt those things a day earlier and heard your voice, ma chérie. And to have known you were safe.” Her tone was playfully reproachful.
“I’m sowwy.” I muttered pathetically. “I’m just a big dummy.”
“Hah… You are a tiny dummy if anything.”
I grinned. “I love you, Amorie.” I blinked, shocked by my traitorous mouth, but I couldn’t argue the truth of that statement.
Amorie was quiet for a few seconds, then when she spoke I could practically hear the smile in her voice. “I love you too, my little wolf.”
We were both quiet for a long moment and I imagined she was beaming at her phone as hard as I was beaming at mine.
After more than a minute I had to ask, “Really?”
“I do. And I am so very happy to call you mine.” She practically purred and the words were salve to my trembling heart.
I felt warm all over. “I’m happy to call you mine as well…” I laughed again, unable to contain the happy feelings inside. “So, I guess that makes us official?”
“I thought we already were.”
“I’m glad we’re on the same page then.”
35
Answers
I caught a cab down to the pack house on Friday and when I arrived, I found that Ralof had gathered a posse to back me up on the trip to confront my Nan. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that over all, but I was touched by their willingness to back me regardless. This whole “having a pack” thing was awesome. So I piled into the back seat of Ralof’s truck between Raelya and Andrei while Ralof drove and Elisa rode shotgun. As he settled in beside me, Andrei plucked at my T-shirt which had the words “Powered by” above a molecular diagram. “What’s that?”
I grinned. “The molecular structure of caffeine, of course.”
Andrei laughed at that while Elisa craned her neck to peer back at me then snorted mildly. “Is nonsense.”
I smirked. “But it’s science nonsense!”
Elisa shook her head at me and went back to peering at the scenery flying by as we drove lazily down the mountain.
An hour of riding with Andrei turned into an hour of naming our favorite shows, bands, and then video games as the other three input their favorites edgewise. Andrei’s energy was infectious and despite starting off with a belly full of nerves, I enjoyed the time in the truck with him and managed to calm down by the time we reached my Nan’s house in Morristown, a quaint little town just Northeast of Knoxville with lots of big, green parks, old comfy family homes, and a couple of golf and country clubs.
As we pulled up to my Nan’s white-washed farmhouse with the red roof and the wrap-around porch, I reminded myself that it was only Nan, the woman who I’d looked up to and adored since I was a little kid, who had stuck by me through everything. Nothing to worry about. Except that she was apparently not what I’d thought she was, and she’d been lying to me all along. No big deal.
Awakened (Auralight Codex: Dakota Shepherd Book 1) Page 26
