by Shea,Lisa
“Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, ‘Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?’ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.”
“But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.”
“At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’”
“‘No one, sir,’ she said.”
“‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared.”
Rachel nodded her head with a satisfied sigh and looked around the room. Sarah ventured a glance toward Reynald, wondering if he had caught the omission. His face revealed nothing, and he nodded his thanks to Rachel for the reading, following the candle with his eyes as it was passed along to her mother.
The afternoon passed in quiet contentment, and when the discussion was through, Sarah was drawn to take a quiet walk in the back gardens before dinner. She had made her way to the gazebo when she heard footsteps. She turned to find Reynald approaching. She smiled her greetings to him as he entered the structure to stand beside her.
“You have a devout and literate family,” he quietly praised her, looking out over the pond.
“Thank you,” responded Sarah with pleasure. “Both my mother and father felt it important that Rachel and I learn the scripture. I know families where only one person recites the Bible to the rest all Sunday long, and I really find it much more interesting when we each take turns to share a verse.”
Reynald’s face remained steady, but his voice had a light teasing quality in it as he answered, “Apparently your sister felt a subtle commentary was necessary in her reading?”
Sarah raised her eyebrows. Maybe he had noticed after all. “What do you mean?” she asked innocently.
Reynald did smile at that. “You know very well, it seems,” he countered. “I believe the instructional passage your sister chose to recite had a subsequent line she left off. Something about Jesus instructing the woman to ‘go now and leave your life of sin’?”
Sarah chuckled in spite of herself. “Now that you mention it, I do believe Jesus tries to set the woman back on the straight and narrow path. However, the Bible does not tell us if his admonition was followed by said wayward lamb.”
Reynald’s tone remained light. “Your sister does seem to be a little on the headstrong side.”
Sarah shrugged. “Many men like that about her, that she is not pale and wilting. Strong women are well praised in our part of the country. She certainly has her share of suitors.”
“However, she is not yet married,” pointed out Reynald.
“Nor am I,” rebutted Sarah easily. “Not that Rachel needs to wait for me, of course. She is free to marry whenever she wishes. She chooses not to.”
Sarah did not like where the conversation was heading. Her parents had been quite patient with her quiet avoidance of any talk of marriage, and she certainly was not going to get into the issue with a newcomer. Her mind switched gears with deliberation.
“Perhaps my sister’s rebellious nature is simply a product of her birth order. I know several older sisters, and it seems in many cases that the older sister becomes the responsible one, while the younger sister has the freedom to rebel.”
She gazed out at the pond, considering. “The older sister is trained from the moment another child is born to look out for the younger one. She is reprimanded when she fails at this. This responsibility is reinforced every day of her life.”
Her eyes twinkled. “The younger sibling is equally trained, every day from birth, that she has someone watching over her – and telling her what to do. It is probably quite normal for her to both feel safe enough to be wild, and to resent the continual orders about her life by a person nearly her own age.”
She looked over at Reynald, who appeared lost in thought. “Tell me about your siblings,” she asked with curiosity.
“I have a brother two years younger, and then a half-sister who is more than ten years my junior,” he stated quietly. “I agree, what you say about younger siblings seems very true with my brother as well. He was always the impetuous one in our family. My father died just after he was born, and I tried my best to guide his growth – often to little avail.”
Sarah turned to face him. “I am so sorry about your father.”
Reynald shrugged. “I barely knew him. I grew up having to handle the responsibility of my younger brother, to make sure he was fed and kept safe. Our mother would often be away from the house visiting with friends, so it was up to me.”
He looked out over the pond. “Then, when I was about ten, my mother remarried to a much older man. He was wealthy and stern. I imagine it was the first that attracted her to him. Together they had Abigail.” A smile crossed his face. “From the moment I saw my new sister, I adored her. She was a delight. It was hardest to leave her behind, when I left for Jerusalem.”
A high pitched squeal of laughter came from the main gardens, and Sarah turned in surprise. She saw Rachel dancing amongst the roses, with Simon moving alongside her, a smile on his face.
“See, sometimes things do turn out well,” murmured Reynald beside her, his eyes following hers into the distance.
Rachel’s voice rang out over the gardens. “Oh, and then my sister – my do-as-you-are-told, I-know-best sister, she is caught with him in the pantry! I heard it from the cook! Can you believe it?”
Sarah blushed crimson and leant heavily against the railing of the gazebo. Simon’s muttered response was too low for her to hear, but Rachel’s peals of delight rang out, echoing across the pond.
“You had better believe it!” she agreed whole-heartily. “Then the next thing I knew, they were going at it in the stables. The stables mind you! She calls me the wild sister?”
Reynald uttered a low growl next to her, and Sarah immediately put her hand out onto his arm, holding him still. She watched as the couple moved off in the direction of the keep.
“Let her go,” she rasped, her throat tight. “She is entertaining Simon. She is … she is lessening my worth in his eyes. Maybe this will help him get over me more quickly. Her exaggerations will not cause serious harm.”
Reynald’s face was dark. “She is spreading gossip and affecting how others think of you. It is not right.”
Sarah gave a weak smile. “The rest of the household knows of her tendency to dramatize events. They will not take her seriously.” A thought struck her and she looked up with concern at Reynald. “If it is your reputation you are worried about …”
Reynald shook his head. “No, I will stand by anything I have done and will speak out if it is brought up.” He looked into the distance. “If you will tolerate your sister’s behavior, for her sake and for Simon’s, then I certainly can as well.”
Polly’s voice rang out into the afternoon air. “Dinner’s ready!”
Sarah shook herself, then stood up to go. Reynald moved easily at her right as the two walked in toward the keep for dinner, both lost in thought.
Chapter 7
The table was full when Sarah came down the following morning. Her mother and father sat facing Rachel and Reynald. Her sister wore an embroidered lilac outfit, complete with a lavender-dyed feather tucked into her hair. She was deliberately turning her head occasionally to tickle Reynald with it, which the knight was ignoring with calm patience.
“Good morning,” Sa
rah greeted the group, sitting beside her father. The egg dish with sausage smelled delicious, and she eagerly began eating. “It looks like another fine day outside.”
“Oh yes,” replied her sister cheerfully, “I think it is a perfect day to get a new dress from the seamstress in Upavon.” She turned her gaze to Reynald. “I would be very pleased if you would escort me there, my champion.”
Reynald looked troubled, and he slowly began, “Perhaps it would be more appropriate if one of the regular guards …”
“Posh!” cried out Rachel, immediately dismissing the idea. “They are needed around home for their regular duties. You are the visitor here, and as hostess, it is my duty to show you around! This is the perfect way for you to get to know the neighborhood. You are best suited to keep me safe,” she added with a sly smile.
Reynald’s eyes flicked up to meet Christopher’s, and Sarah’s father shook his head slightly. Reynald’s lips compressed, but he nodded. “Of course, your safety is very important,” he agreed soberly. “I would be quite happy to provide you an escort.”
“Why, then we should leave immediately!” decided Rachel, springing to her feet. “No reason to sit around here all morning like sticks-in-the-mud.” She grabbed Reynald’s hand, barely giving him time to bow to her parents before half dragging him out the front door.
Sarah shook her head, looking back to her parents.
Her mother merrily smiled. “She has that spunk in her – the zest for life I used to have when I was her age. It’ll serve her well, with the challenges she’ll face in life.” She winked at Sarah. “She’ll calm down soon enough, once she had a child or two of her own.”
* * *
Sarah thought about her sister all day long while working in the garden shed. Thoughts of all they had been through together swirled through her mind as she dried and minced herbs, as she organized her supplies into small pottery containers. When Sarah spotted her sister returning later in the afternoon, she hurried out into the garden, intercepting her where they could talk alone.
Sarah brought a fond smile to her lips. “Rachel, if you have a moment, I would like for us to have a talk.”
“If it is about Simon, you can have him,” responded Rachel with a wink. “He was all right in small doses, but I find him far too clingy. I shall not be going off to see him any more.”
Sarah’s heart fell. She wondered how Simon was taking this latest blow, and her voice came out gruffly. “Actually, I was not even thinking about Simon. I was thinking of how you have been behaving around Reynald.”
“Oh, I see. Well, you cannot claim him,” responded Rachel archly. “Reynald is single, and I have as much right to him as any other woman. I do not care if you are older. I am not going to wait around for years and years until you decide to finally marry someone.”
Sarah’s mouth hung open. The thought that Rachel would wait on her for anything was a complete shock. She recomposed herself and began again. “No, that was not it. I just wanted to suggest that you … tone it down a little, how you behaved around him. He is a Templar knight, after all, and -”
“And you want him for yourself,” shot back Rachel with a pout. “Well, then, see if you can get him from me. I find that my wiles are working quite nicely, and I think you are just jealous that you do not possess my … assets.” She wriggled her body demonstratively.
Sarah sighed. “Rachel, I am just trying to provide you some sisterly advice.”
Rachel tossed her hair. “I hardly need suggestions from you,” she replied sharply. “You are single. Therefore, you could not possibly have any quality advice to offer me.”
Sarah felt a jab of ire at this irrational statement, then her eyes flashed with inspiration. “So the only person who could possibly offer you any words of wisdom is someone who is perfectly happy in marriage?”
Rachel opened her mouth to say yes, but quickly shut it again, shaking her head. “Oh no, not our parents,” she stated. “On second thought, I do not want any advice at all. I am quite pleased with how I handle things.”
Her brow wrinkled, and she added, “Whenever you or our parents try to tell me what to do, I feel like a cat that has been rubbed the wrong way.”
Sarah’s shoulders slumped. This was not going at all how she had hoped. “We are just trying to help you to be happy.”
“Then support me in my choices!” cried Rachel in exasperation. “When I want to do something, give me praise for doing it my own way!”
Sarah shook her head. “What if it seems to be a poor choice, based on incomplete information?”
Rachel stamped her foot. “Have you not heard of unconditional love? I do not want your advice or your alternatives. I want you to agree with me on the way I want to live my life. I want you to tell me how proud you are of what I am doing.”
Sarah took a step back at this, her eyes shadowed. “You are serious. You want us to lie in order to make you feel better about your choices?”
Rachel’s lips curled down in a pout. “Why do you always have to put things like that? I just want to do what I want to do – and I want my family to back me one hundred percent. Is that so much to ask?”
Sarah sighed. “Please, just … be careful.”
Rachel tossed her head back. “I am always fine,” she stated firmly. Turning, she stomped toward the main building.
Sarah watched her go, her heart falling. How had the gulf between the two of them grown so large? She sat wearily on a stone bench, lost in thought.
“A family is never an easy thing,” commented Reynald, stepping to stand beside her, looking in the direction of the keep.
Sarah looked down at her hands. “So you heard that, did you?”
Reynald chuckled wryly. “It was rather hard not to. I did not mean to eavesdrop, but -”
Sarah waved away his concern. “There are few secrets around here,” she assuaged him. “My sister is the way she is. Undoubtedly she would say the same thing about me, that I am too stubborn, or unsupportive, or controlling, or rigid, or something. Who knows, perhaps I am.”
Reynald’s mouth quirked. “I did hear something of the sort, during our ride today.”
Sarah lowered her head into her hands. “I do not even want to hear about it,” she moaned. “It would only make me feel more helpless.”
“My brother and I fought like cats and dogs,” commented Reynald in a soothing tone. “From the moment we were both old enough to walk, we were beating on each other with sticks, throwing each other into the local pond, and wrestling each other in whatever mud hole we could find.” He smiled at the memory. “Despite all of that, we loved each other dearly, too. I remember the time that someone punched my brother. I was there in a heartbeat, defending him with my life. There was no question in my mind what I must do.”
Sarah smiled, imagining a young Reynald scrapping with the neighborhood bully. “Girls do not fight physically like that,” she mused. “With us, it was more of an emotional thing. Who would get more of our mother’s affection or our father’s time. Who would claim the center stage.”
Reynald smiled. “That is why they call it sibling rivalry,” he pointed out. “Children are not adults. By their nature, they act immaturely.”
Sarah sighed. “I am sure that I did my share of grabbing for attention, of wanting to be first. Even so, most of what I remember of our childhood are the good times. I remember teaching her how to read and how to count. I remember holding her by the hand when we want walking, to keep her safe. I would make sure she remembered her cloak when it was cold. When we were given candies I would divide them up, one by one, to make sure she got her fair share.”
She shook her head. “Somehow my sister remembers a different slant on things. She would figure that I divided up the candies to get as many of hers as I could.”
Reynald sat down beside her on the bench. “It is the curse of being the eldest,” he offered with a gentle smile. “We are always the ones expected to be responsible. Our parents look to us, every
day, to watch out for our younger siblings. If we slip up even for a moment and act ‘our age’, our brothers and sisters will remember that moment forever, and forget the twenty three other hours we were there and caring.”
Sarah looked up to Reynald, nodding. “In the meantime, they are never expected to be responsible. They are always being cared for and expect that to be done perfectly. Any failure by the elder is cause for life-long repercussions.”
She rolled her shoulders. “When my sister became a woman, she changed. I suppose all girls do. I had always defended her actions to my parents, putting myself between her and them as naturally as you did with the bully. Finally, shortly after my sister turned thirteen, my parents had had enough. They told me to stay out of the way – that my sister’s problems should be faced by my sister on her own, and that I should let them discipline her directly, without involving myself at all.”
Reynald’s eyes focused on hers. “That must have been hard on you,” he commented, intrigued.
Sarah nodded. “I wore mourning clothes for over a week in protest,” she responded. “It felt as if they had asked me to stop breathing. Defending my sister was what I did. Caring for her was my every day life. To tell me to abandon her – which is how it felt to me – hurt immensely.”
She reached down to pluck a stray violet, staring at its petals for a long moment. “When you think about it, parents should have the right to discipline each child individually for what they have done wrong. It never would have occurred to my sister to intercede when I was being punished, to protect me. Still, my whole life had been about keeping her safe and caring for her.”
Reynald looked back toward the keep again. “Now she is a grown woman.”
“Now she is a grown woman,” agreed Sarah. “Yet when she stands before me, I think of that young, wide-eyed doll who followed me around, who looked at me with those big, trusting eyes, and relied on me to keep her safe. It is hard for me not to be caught by that vision.”
