Loving a Prince Charming

by Danielle Monsch

  Seth spoke then. “Why are you after us?”

  The shock the fey had experienced was now past—that, or he had schooled himself to hide it away. “If my master curses a princess, he does not wish a mortal fool to try to change that circumstance.”

  Seth stepped forward, fists clenched, but Kira’s hand on his arm stopped him. She stared him down and said, “Tell your master to cut his losses and move on now, because nothing will stop us from saving her.”

  “So you say, girl, so you say. But just remember—” and the fey stepped back into the woods, with every move becoming more insubstantial, before finally disappearing before their eyes. “Fairies may have blessed you, but they are not allowed to fight for you. When the time comes, it will be you and me, and I—”

  The last sight was his sharp, glittering teeth.

  “—never lose.”

  Chapter Seven

  Their sleeping bags were rolled out in front of the fire. Kira had found a nice cave to stay in for the night. Perfectly situated, dry, and creature free, it was a lucky find on a night they misjudged the distance to the next town.

  “Should we keep watch?” he asked as he got the fire going.

  Kira shook her head. “I’ve set up an alarm system to tell us if a wandering creature comes by. As for the other-” Her mouth turned down enough it resembled an ‘n’. He didn’t think it was possible for a mouth to do that naturally. “What good would alarms do against magic? The only hope is that my birthmark warns us again.”

  She didn’t look at the little mark on her wrist, but he could see the effort it took not to. Since the encounter with the fey, he often saw her touching the birthmark, poking at it as if she expected it to jump at her in return.

  He hated how it was consuming her. This small mark didn’t define her – it never had and it wouldn’t now. All her talents, her fire-forged will and brilliant mind, none of them hinged around this collection of black lines.

  Seth wrapped his hand around her wrist, the birthmark now obscured by his hand. “I have every faith in you, mark or not.”

  She exhaled, her body relaxing under his touch. With her free hand she traced the veins in his hand, following the faint blue lines where they led.

  The fire crackled beside them, the smell of the burning wood wafting in the air. Firelight suited Kira’s red hair and pale skin and made her seem to glow from within.

  Where her fingertips trailed, his skin heated. He flipped his wrist to trap her hand with his, but it didn’t stop the warmth from where skin met skin.

  She leaned into him, nuzzled the sensitive skin between his below his ear. Her breath was as warm as the rest of her as it caressed his skin.

  And then there it was, the smallest brush of her lips.

  She touched him, and it rushed through him, the truth he had been ruthless in suppressing. He wanted her. He longed for her, reached towards her like a flower seeking the sun. There was no one in his world for him except her.

  Her lips were chapped, and the small roughness sensitized him, made him aware of every inch of her skin as it lay against his. She fit nicely against him, two puzzle pieces that clicked together.

  His arms came up to wrap around her back-

  When we’re married, I’ll take you on a picnic…

  Seth grabbed her upper arms and shoved Kira away. Avoiding her wide green eyes and the betrayal within, Seth turned away to unload the horses.

  It had never been awkward between them, ever, not until this moment.

  They were on opposite sides of the fire. Seth’s dark hair took on a faint reddish hue, and his blue eyes were suspiciously bright, brighter than the light alone could account for.

  She huddled deeper into the blanket. It was a mistake. She wanted one brush against him, one tiny touch to keep in her heart. She wouldn’t lie to herself. There was nothing innocent in her actions, and he had known that, just like he knew everything.

  “Kira.”

  His voice was low but forceful, and she obeyed, her eyes coming to rest on his face.

  Seth was looking into the fire. His lips were a thin, determined line and his eyes were narrowed, but there was an awkward slope to his shoulders, his body curling around himself. They were going to have a discussion, and he hated it.

  Whatever it was, she’d endure. What could he do? Make her love him and then turn around and marry another woman? She bit down on her lip to stop the inappropriate snort.

  He picked up a twig and tossed it into the fire before he shifted to look at her. “I’ve met Rosamund.”

  His words hit her like a glancing blow—hard enough to push her off balance but not enough for her to tumble down. “What are you talking about? We’ve never met her.” Her tone was firm. Was strong. Because she was right, and his words now were some sort of joke.

  He ducked his head, rubbed the back of his neck. He wouldn’t look at her; instead, his head canted sideways, observing into the distance as though he decided to take up a watch after all. “It was right before my thirteenth birthday. Do you remember? We got lost in Mathias’s castle in that weird room.”

  A shiver hit Kira’s nape hard and zinged down every individual nerve in her back. She’d hated that dark room. Nothing had felt right once they’d entered that wing. Seth had kept pulling her like always, and while six months before she would have stopped and told him—punishment or not—that they were not entering those doors, at that time she’d begun to realize how her feelings were something besides childhood friendship. Because of that, she’d kept her silence and let him lead her into a situation that didn’t feel right.

  Seth wouldn’t have lied to her all this time. Not about that. Her world might sometimes feel as though it was perpetually on the verge of crashing down on her, but she kept that truth dear, the truth that said no matter what his duty might force him to do, their relationship was important, sacred, and none could intrude on it.

  He couldn’t have a secret with Rosamund. He couldn’t have excluded her.

  “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to betray her.”

  The words punched through her chest. Betray her. Poor, poor Rosamund. That poor pathetic princess, who had only taken everything from Kira. And now she took this.

  “Sorry I forced myself on you.” The words came from Kira’s mouth, but she didn’t know where they came from. She never planned on saying this, didn’t even know she felt this. But now that the words had come out, she couldn’t stop them, couldn’t stop the pain pouring through them, couldn’t stop the venom against a woman she had never met – but he had. “If only you had explained the situation sooner, I’d have let you come alone. Stupid me, thinking you needed me or trusted me. Or that I was anything other than a guard to you. Stupid me for thinking I was important. How could I be, when you had your fairy tale princess waiting for you at the end of the story? I apologize for saddling you with my company.”

  His head swiveled in her direction, his brow furrowed in confusion. What a ridiculous expression. He couldn’t understand what he just did? “What are you talking about?”

  Her lip curled, and the fleeting thought baring your fangs flitted through her mind. “I didn’t know how close you were with Rosamund. I hope I didn’t keep you from any other secret rendezvous.”

  His arms rested on bent knees, his hands hanging down, now curling and uncurling into loose fists. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” he began, his voice lowering into that rarely visited range, the one that said he was losing grip of his seldom-seen temper. “But you should stop right there. I’ve met her once, and I kept that one meeting, that one secret from you. Whatever else you’ve made up in your mind is false.”

  “Then why keep it a secret?” she challenged. “Why was that meeting so important, so precious that you couldn’t share with me?” What was so special about her that you hid it from me?

  It was only a beat, but his face went from edge-of-temper to mournful, an old, deep longing shading his eyes as he stared f
ull deep into hers. “You don’t know why? Will you really have me speak it aloud? Once the words exist, Kira, we live with them as a harsh reality instead of a bittersweet thought. Is that what you want?”

  And there it was, where every moment of their lives led them. It had been inevitable, hadn’t it? No matter how hard they tried, this had been inevitable.

  The fire threw sparks in the air. Her nose was cold. She rubbed the tip with fingers she only now realized were even colder. “I want to understand.”

  Seth closed his eyes, resigned acceptance in every line of his face. He opened them only to look up at the stars. “She was so small and so scared. She’d never seen trees or touched water from a lake. She was kept separate and alone from everyone, and she had this fate that she couldn’t fight. No one would help her. Not her father. Not my father.”

  He fiddled with the ring he wore on his pinkie finger, this way and that, connected to this memory he had held sacred, reserved only for himself, the one memory she had no part of.

  And yet, how could she hate the little girl he spoke of? How could she rail against this unfairness when that child experienced tragedy beyond comprehension? She who had Seth’s friendship and surrounded by friends and comrades, she half-hated a girl who had less than nothing. Self-loathing pricked Kira’s skin, an ooze no amount of scrubbing would remove.

  “I made her a promise that day. I promised her I would not love anyone else, so that she would always be safe from the curse. This poor little girl, and all she wanted was to be safe. How could I not save her? I didn’t realize what I…”

  Seth broke off. His eyes locked with hers. They were such a jumbled mass of emotion that Kira couldn’t pull the feelings apart, all except for one thread. Determination. No matter the other emotions, no matter the conflict they inspired in him, his will to see through his decision was highlighted in bright lines.

  Whatever fantastical dreams might have been held in the deep, deep recesses of her mind, at that look, they blackened and fell into a waterfall of dark and silent despair.

  “I made a promise, and I won’t fail her.”

  Chapter Eight

  They hadn’t spoken for the last two days, not since the moment Kira turned her back to him after his confession and proceeded to stay that way for the rest of the night.

  Seth hadn’t been able to sleep that night. His words had torn through their unspoken agreement to never acknowledge the reality of their lives.

  Now the words sat there, staring at him – them – with hard, beady, black eyes that never wavered or gave a moment’s respite. He was going to marry another woman, and she was going to leave him the moment he did.

  In the room of the inn they were staying for the night, in the bed he sat upon, Seth brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He rocked upon the scratchy sheets and the too-hard mattress in hopes that somehow, someway, the ache in his chest might loosen just for a moment.

  There was a promise to keep, and it didn’t matter that there was no more beautiful sight to him in this world than Kira, smiling at him in the full sunlight, her hair ablaze and her eyes as green as late spring grass. He’d made a promise to a scared little girl who had never seen the sun, and he wouldn’t fail her. He made a promise.

  If he failed to keep his word, he wasn’t a man. Not one who deserved a kingdom. Not one who deserved friendship. Not one who deserved love.

  Not one who deserved Kira.

  The three knocks rang loud in his ears. He rose and opened the door, not expecting the person on the other side. “Kira?”

  Her face held resolve. She had come here for something and she wasn’t leaving until it was settled. But her face was also soft and inviting, the intimacy and emotion she only ever let show around him. “May I come in?”

  He stood back for her to enter. She looked around as she entered, but it was so quick he chalked it up to her usual habit of studying her surroundings versus any great desire to know what his room looked like.

  She walked to his bed and sat on the edge. He waited as she gathered her thoughts, her gaze never wavering from his, those green eyes as clear and as at peace as he had ever known them. Finally, she said, “I love you, Seth. I’m in love with you, and I always have been.”

  His body quivered with joy, in instinctive happiness, even as his mind shouted she can’t, she can’t, she can’t. “Kira—”

  “No, don’t interrupt me.” Her expression became what he’d always called her serious face, with her mouth a firm line and her chin lifted in the air. “I want my say. I know none of us has a choice in this, but I want my say.”

  There was such a vulnerable strength about her, the lines of her body strung taut and her back rail straight, but the sheen of tears reflected in the firelight, and her mouth had the smallest quiver to it.

  Humbled before her, he sank to his knees and waited.

  She swallowed hard, but her voice was steady when she continued. “You are the best man I have ever known. I love you for your humor, and your goodness. I love you for your intelligence. I love you for the strength of your will. I love you for your compassion.”

  Kira’s voice trailed off. In the greatest moment of his life, despair rooted deep and wound around his gut, the crushing force turning him inside out.

  Her feet hit the ground, and she was no longer on the bed but kneeling in front of him, her hands on either side of his face. “But Seth, I love you most of all for your integrity. I love that you never, ever go back on your word. I love that when you proclaim something, gods can’t stop you from making it happen. Because of that, I have such peace knowing our kingdom could not be in better hands. I know you will be the type of king who, centuries from now, they’ll still hold up as an example and proclaim your rule to be one all rulers should emulate.”

  Her hands trailed over the line of his jaw, then reversed course and burrowed into his hair. Seth willed himself not to tremble. Her touch was fire, the burn of it harrowing and exhilarating but oh so dangerous.

  “In the morning, you are going to go to Rosamund and fulfill your promise. And me? I’m going to go far, far away. I have to, because I can’t stay here and be close to you while you live and love someone else – I’ll either become a bitter old woman who hates everything, or I’d try to make you something I despise, and that is a man who will not honor his word. And I don’t want either of those things to happen. So I need to go, and you need to let me.”

  He wrapped her in his arms and burrowed his face into her neck. She was right, she was right, she was right. His head shook and his arms tightened further and the smell of woodsmoke on her skin buried itself into his brain.

  Kira pulled back, her palms flat against his chest. “But before that happens, I want one night with you. Not to trick you and not to try to make you love me. What I want is one stolen memory that I can keep buried in my heart for the rest of my life.”

  The tick of the clock, the thud of his heart, the crackle of the fire – all were loud in his ears as her words penetrated the layers of pain her looming departure had erected. “A night?” He left the question open to not trap her.

  She leaned up and brushed a gentle kiss across his lips. Hers were so soft, a contrast to the strong lines of her face and body that years of training had given her. “One night where I can make love with you. One night with no obligations or promises or unavoidable journeys to be made. Just two best friends. Just us.”

  “Just us.” The perfect life – he squashed that thought, throttled it. No, it was one night. It was just them. And it would be the memory he’d keep next to his heart through the long years ahead.

  Decision made, the weight on his chest lightened enough that he could make himself believe it had disappeared. Seth stood and reached down to grab Kira around her waist and without waiting for her to speak, threw her onto the bed.

  “Seth!” she squealed, laughter and shock in her tone at his unexpected movement.

  “What?” He jumped on the bed a
nd landed on his knees next to her. “My understanding is this is where you do that sort of thing.”

  “Mine as well,” she replied, her smile wide. “Your first time?”

  “Yep,” he replied, though of course she knew that. She knew everything, just as he did for her. He had only ever wanted her anyway. No other woman at court ever came close to tempting him. And even though he knew the answer, he asked anyway. “Your first time?”

  “You know it,” she answered cheerfully back, but as their gazes met, for one moment her face went slack, losing the breezy humor to show a gravitas, an awareness of this moment and all it contained… and all that was ending with it. He froze in the act of reaching for her, waiting to see where it led.

  But it lasted for only a moment. She shook it off and let their familiar closeness overpower any darker emotions, her eyes returning to the soft, laughing look they had shared before. She leaned back on her elbows and stared up at him, her mouth challenging. “So how exactly are you going to dazzle me with this sex thing?”

  Kira always said she followed where he led, but in this time and place, he followed her. There would be nothing dark allowed to touch this night.

  No, not this night. Not a night he had been fantasizing about since he was old enough to have fantasies, and not when Kira was spread out before him in sensual offering. Her hair was fire bright and her skin had a silky sheen that invited him to explore every inch with his tongue.

  That didn’t mean they couldn’t play and tease. He put a finger to his chin and affected an air of deep thought. “Well, there is good news and bad news on that front.”

  “I see,” she nodded, putting her own finger on her chin to mimic him. “Please start with the bad news.”

  “I’m a young man about to have my first sexual experience. I believe the words premature ejaculation was created for just this scenario.”

  Kira pressed her lips hard together, but she couldn’t fully contain the snort of laughter. She breathed hard through her nose, and when she had some control again, said, “I hope the good news can cancel that out.”