by Vikki Vaught
She hoped he would be as relaxed tomorrow. While he talked about his brother, she could see the love for him shining in his brilliant blue eyes, and she hoped she could capture that look in his portrait.
Tomorrow, she would be working on the background before she started on him. She planned to use a library scene, so she had two of the footmen bring in a bookcase, as well as books to fill it and place it by the window. She would pose Jonathan in front of the bookcase with the sun shining through the window. He could hold a book as if he had just selected it and was anticipating the enjoyment of reading it. Since he’d shared he enjoyed a good book, it would be a good setting.
While out on her walk, she purchased additional art supplies. That was the beauty of living in the city; she could easily buy supplies she needed right away. When she was at Sanderford Park, she had to order them from London and it took a couple of days for them to arrive.
Amazingly enough, Kathryn was enjoying her stay with her mother. Ever since Henry had the duchess turn the running of the house over to Melody, she’d mellowed, especially since she moved to Bath.
While she’d never been close to her mother, it was nice, that at last, they had reached a friendly accord. Evidently, she’d accepted Kathryn’s wishes regarding matrimony and had not mentioned the subject again. Moving to Bath had been a good decision for her mother. She seemed much happier.
When she returned to the house, she went to her studio and put away the supplies she had purchased. She touched her canvas, and since it was dry, she applied the final coat of primer. Since it would be such a large painting, she had a footman find her a stool. It would definitely be the most challenging project she’d attempted so far.
After her talk with him yesterday, she realized she was a trifle obsessed with her art, but it was what had kept her sane while her uncle had abused her. Henry told her uncle had passed last winter. It was a great sense of relief to know her uncle could no longer hurt her, or anyone else, ever again.
As she gazed around the room, making sure she had everything ready for the next day, she noticed the time. If she wanted to be ready for Lady Milsom’s soiree, she’d better hurry.
When Kathryn entered her room, Sarah had drawn her bath, and soon she luxuriated in the tub as the water lapped against her skin. Bathing was such a sensual feeling, one of the few she allowed herself to experience. While she’d been out, she’d purchased lavender-scented soap and bathing salts, her personal favorite.
After ducking under the water, she sat up and lathered her hair. The aroma of lavender surrounded her. When she stood, Sarah poured fresh water over her to wash the soap away. She stepped from the tub and wrapped a towel around her body, allowing it to caress her flushed skin, still heated from her bath. Once she had donned her evening attire, she adjusted the skirt of the shimmering blue silk gown she’d purchased from Madame Bovary’s salon.
Glancing at her reflection, she liked the way Sarah arranged her hair with braids woven around her head resembling a coronet. She wished Jonathan would attend the soiree so he could see her in her new gown.
Why should it matter if he admired my gown?
Kathryn grew alarmed. She never fantasized over other men. Thank goodness he was not attending. With thoughts such as those, she could be in danger. The luxury of falling in love could never happen. Even if it did, nothing could come of it; she could never be intimate with any man. Dismissing those terrifying thoughts, she marched to the door and left her room.
When Kathryn and her mother arrived at Lady Milsom’s, the woman greeted them with a polite smile. “Welcome, Your Grace. I’m so pleased you could attend this evening.” Then she turned to Kathryn. “You look fetching this evening. All the gentlemen will want an opportunity to dance with you.”
“Thank you, Lady Milsom,” Kathryn replied. “I didn’t realize there would be dancing. I look forward to it,”
Lady Milsom turned to greet more new arrivals, and Kathryn glanced around the room. Jonathan would not be there, but she could always hope.
Oh, goodness.
I must stop these thoughts from invading my mind.
The majordomo announced dinner, and everyone went into the dining room. Of course, her mother sat to the right of Lady Milsom’s husband since she was the highest-ranking person in the room. Kathryn sat several places away between Lord Shelton and Lord Ellington.
As dinner progressed, Lord Shelton commented, “Her Grace mentioned you were coming for a visit. I hope you’re enjoying your stay in Bath.”
Kathryn glanced over at him and straightened her napkin before speaking. “It’s one of the loveliest cities I’ve visited, and the architecture is incredible.”
Lord Shelton nodded. “My wife feels the same way. Have you met many people you know since your arrival?”
A few, and I have also met several new individuals. I recently met the Marquess of Sutherland, and when he discovered I’m an artist, he asked me to paint him. I’m currently working on his formal portrait.”
“Ah, yes, I know him well,” he replied. “We attended Oxford together. Do you do portraits for others?”
“I do. I plan to open a studio in London in a few years, but for now, I take commissions when people ask. After I finish Lord Sutherland’s portrait, I’m going to Bristol to do a portrait of his brother’s family, and in November I’m traveling to Devonshire to do a family portrait of the Marquess and Marchioness of Ralston. I hope once people see my work, I’ll have more commissions.”
Lord Shelton looked appraisingly at her. “I would be interested in seeing some of your work. My wife and I haven’t had our portrait painted yet. Do you have any work we could see?”
In her excitement, Kathryn barely kept her hand from shaking as she sat her wine goblet on the table. “I recently finished my mother’s portrait, and I have several miniatures of my family. If you can come for tea on Sunday, I could show you my work?”
“I feel sure my wife will want to see your work,” he told her. “I shall introduce you after dinner, and you may ask her if Sunday is convenient.”
They talked a bit more, and then she turned to Lord Ellington, making sure she did not ignore her other dinner partner. Soon, Lady Milsom led all the ladies to the drawing room and left the gentlemen to their port and cigars.
When the men entered the drawing room, Lord Shelton approached her accompanied by a lovely young woman. He stopped in front of her and bowed. “Lady Kathryn. Please let me introduce you to my wife, the Countess of Shelton.” He turned to his wife. “My dear, this is Lady Kathryn, the daughter of the Dowager Duchess of Sanderford.”
She acknowledged the introduction with a smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Shelton. Your husband mentioned you might be interested in having your portrait done. Could you come for tea on Sunday?”
“Certainly, we’d be delighted,” she replied. “My husband mentioned you have some of your work we could see.”
“Excellent. I look forward to seeing you on Sunday.” Lord and Lady Shelton left her to join some friends of theirs. When the duchess returned from the retiring room, Kathryn shared her excitement. “I invited the Earl of Shelton and his countess to tea on Sunday. They want to see some of my work. They may want me to do their portrait. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“I am happy for you. I know how much you love to paint, but I’m concerned. What will people say when word gets around you’re accepting payment? It’s not as if you need the income,” she huffed. “You’ll never find a husband.” Kathryn stiffened for another battle, but before she could interrupt, the duchess added, “I know…I know…you don’t want to wed, but you could change your mind, and then it will be too late. Just try to be discreet.”
The music started, and Kathryn had a pleasant evening dancing with several gentlemen. Finally, her mother was ready to leave, which suited her, since her slippers were tired from dancing.
Once she was in bed, her mind drifted. She could not wait to tell Jonathan she might have another commi
ssion. It bothered her that she wanted to share her good news with him. She spent too much time thinking of him. As she drifted off, she imagined what it would feel like if he kissed her.
CHAPTER 8
Friday was a productive day. Jonathan spent the entire morning riding his estate with Whetherby. As long as the weather stayed fair, the crops should be excellent again this year, as they were last year. He had an invitation for a soiree at Lady Milsom’s. Even though he never attended parties, he was tempted since Lady Kathryn would be in attendance.
She aroused his desire whenever he was around her, and it was starting to alarm him since nothing could come of it. He needed a woman, but he could not go to the brothel if his mind dwelled on Kathryn while being entertained by one of the Madame’s delicacies.
Perhaps if I pick a woman who doesn’t resemble her.
Yes, that is what I will do.
While Lady Milsom’s soiree was going on, he went to town for a different reason. When he entered Madame Angela’s, she greeted him, “It’s a pleasure to have you again, my lord. Would you like Suzette again?”
“Ah…this evening, I want a brunette. Someone petite, but plump in all the right places.” Jonathan scanned the room and his eyes landed on a chubby brunette across the room. “Who is she?” pointing to the young woman who had caught his eye.
“Diane. She’s new, just in from the country. She will be happy to entertain you.” Madame Angela motioned to her, and the brunette came to her. “Diane. His lordship would like the honor of your company. Please show him a good time.”
Diane smiled beguilingly at him, and his body stirred. “I would be honored to spend the evening with you, my lord. Shall we go upstairs to my room?”
Ah, this is working. She doesn’t look like Kathryn at all. “Lead the way.”
Once they entered her boudoir, Diane gazed at him through her thick lashes. Her sultry look had his cock coming to life. “What is your pleasure, my lord? Just say, and I shall be happy to comply.”
She approached, rubbed a hand over his chest, and purred. Jonathan pulled her close and gave her a hard, hungry kiss. He ran his hands over her luscious curves and his desire burned hot.
Diane led him to her bed. Scooping her into his arms, he dropped her in the middle. She pulled her chemise over her head, revealing her lovely body. Her breasts were large and plump. Leaning forward, he suckled her nipple, while rolling her other one between his forefinger and thumb.
Diane pulled him on top of her, ran her hands over his cock, and seductively unbuttoned his breeches. His shaft sprang upward when she gave it a squeeze, while pushing his breeches down. He kicked them off, pushed her thighs apart, and surged home. Devil’s teeth. His body shook from being inside a woman again.
He stroked in and out, harder and faster. Over and over again, vigorously pumping into her passage. Close to his release, and because he always made sure his partner found her pleasure first, he stroked her tight bundle of nerves.
Once her muscles tightened around him, he relinquished control. His sac contracted, and as he found his release, he called out, “Oh, God…yes…yes. Kathryn.” In shock, he quickly pulled out and rolled off Diane and onto his back. He covered his face as guilt and shame rushed through him.
“Who’s Kathryn?” Diana asked. “Is she your wife or a lost love? I heard pain in your voice when you said her name.”
A groan escaped, and he swallowed the bile in his throat. “An innocent woman I met recently. I have no intention of pursuing her. I’m the worst kind of cad for even thinking of her while I’m with you. Since she’s doing my portrait, I can’t avoid her. It’s difficult to be with her, knowing I can never have her.”
“Why have you decided you cannot pursue her?” she asked. ‘If you care for the young lady, you should make her your own. Clearly, you have deep feelings for her.”
His jaw tightened. “I’m not good enough for her. She’s an angel; I’m a drunken rake. She deserves far better than I. Thank you for listening to me though. You’re very kind.”
Diana patted his buttock as he arose from the bed. After he pulled on his breeches, he turned to her. “I appreciate your time with me this evening. I shall tell Madame you were most accommodating.” He placed several coins on the bedside table then departed quickly.
Shame had his gut rolling as he climbed into his carriage. He could not keep doing this. He had to find some way to overcome his fascination for Lady Kathryn. No sexual gratification was worth it if he had such strong feelings of guilt afterwards. Until he could move beyond that, he must remain celibate.
That night, Jonathan experienced another nightmare. Shaken to his core, he rushed to his chest where he recalled hiding a bottle of scotch. He opened the top drawer, grabbing several items on top and tossed them on the floor. At last, his fingers wrapped around the bottle. He cradled it against his chest as he would a babe.
He did not bother to find a glass, just uncorked it and drank from the decanter. The burn of the scotch soothed him. He swigged the rest of the liquor, then found the oblivion he sought.
When Hatton awoke him the next morning, he looked at the clock through blurry eyes. Devil take it. He would be late for his sitting.
Jonathan rushed through his morning ablutions. After retrieving Demon, he raced toward town. As he galloped along, he remembered what had happened at Madame Angela’s. Guilt washed over him.
How could he entertain thoughts of Lady Kathryn when he was with a whore? Why did she plague him so? He was not even involved with her. Regardless of that, he could not return to Madame Angela’s as long as Kathryn filled his thoughts.
By the time he reached the edge of town, his stomach no longer wanted to revolt, but the guilt was still with him. Not only because of Lady Kathryn, but because he’d fallen to temptation yet again. He had to stop relying on liquor to keep the nightmares away.
Roderick was right. He would either turn into a bitter old man or die young. He was only thirty, yet he looked closer to forty and felt even older. He must find the courage to leave the liquor alone.
Jonathan was fifteen minutes late when he reached the duchess’s residence house. The butler immediately took him up to Lady Kathryn’s studio. “I’m sorry. I overslept.”
Lady Kathryn gazed at him with concern in her eyes. “If you’re feeling unwell, we can skip the sitting. Did you have a restless night?”
He had a hard time meeting her gaze. “I did, but I do not want us to fall behind. Where do you want me this morning?”
“All right, if you’re sure you’re well enough.” Her tone sounded wary, but then she cleared her throat. “Please stand by the bookcase and the window. Do you remember how I had you stand last time?” Jonathan assumed the correct position. She handed him a book of poetry. “Please, hold this. Try to imagine what pleasure you’re receiving from reading your favorite sonnet.”
He tried to do as directed, but instead he thought of her lovely violet eyes. He wanted to bury his hands in her glorious red hair. At that moment, he realized—he was not just infatuated with her—he was falling in love. A sharp pain took up residence in his chest.
God, I’m such a wretch.
I’m not even good enough to wipe her slippers.
Knowing she was counting on him to do as she had requested, he stiffened his resolve, plastered what he hoped was a serene smile on his face.
“Ah, that’s perfect.” She went to her easel and picked up her palette, and as she softly hummed, she started painting. His breath caught—she was so beautiful. He would remember this moment for the rest of his life. What would she do if he kissed her? The very thought caused his desire to rise to fever pitch.
He must stop obsessing over her, or she would notice the effect she was having on him. His hard shaft pressed against the front of his breeches. Thank God she was so absorbed by her art she did not seem to notice.
As Lady Kathryn painted, she asked, “How did your brother meet his wife? They seem quite fond of each other.”
Jonathan prayed conversation would take his mind of his attraction to her. “Allison’s father was the vicar of our parish. Roderick and Allison fell in love and were planning the wedding when Bonaparte escaped. When I decided to join the army, Roderick refused to let me go without him, so they delayed their wedding. Although Allison was scared, she still supported him.”
“That was extraordinarily brave of her,” she mused.
“Yes, it was,” he replied. “I believe I told you they wed once we returned from Brussels. You know the rest of their story. They’re deeply in love, and I’m happy for them.”
“I could tell.” She worked for several minutes, then said, “I’m looking forward to going to Bristol. You mentioned you do not want to wed. Why?”
“I was supposed to wed when I returned from the continent, but when my fiancée realized I had returned a cripple, she broke our engagement.” He paused. “Knowing what I know now, I realize she did me a favor, but at the time, I didn’t handle her rejection well. As soon as I could walk, I left for London and never looked back. I don’t know why I just told you that. I’ve never talked about this with anyone.”
She brushed a stray lock of her hair from her eyes. “I’m pleased you feel comfortable enough to share that. I had an unpleasant experience when I was eighteen, and that is part of the reason I decided I didn’t want to marry.”
He met her gaze. “If you ever need to talk, I’m happy to listen.”
“Thank you.” She straightened and smiled. “I hope we will continue to be good friends even after I finish your portrait. I’ve always been so wrapped up with my art I haven’t taken the time to get to know many people. I’m glad we’ve gotten to know each other.”
His heart seized. God, she was so lovely. So sweet. “I shall always be your friend, and if you ever need anything at all, you only need to ask, and I will be there for you. I respect and admire you greatly, and I’m honored you want to be friends.”
