by Vikki Vaught
“I appreciate that. I think we’ve done enough today. You may relax and move around.” She lowered her brush, then walked to her worktable and started cleaning her brushes. As she opened a jar of oil of turpentine, the aroma filled the air.
After that day, he would always associate the smell of turpentine and lavender with Kathryn. “I believe we know each other well enough to use our given names, do you not agree? Please…call me Jonathan.”
“Only if you call me Kathryn.” Her hands stopped moving. “Oh, by the way, I met a friend of yours. Lord Shelton and his wife are coming for tea tomorrow, and they may want me to do their portrait. Isn’t that wonderful? Theirs would be my fourth commission.”
Her whole face lit up as she talked, and he his heart ached when he remembered how unworthy he was of her. “I’m happy for you. I’m sure they will want you to do their portrait. Again, I’m sorry I was late today. I promise I’ll be on time on Tuesday. Well, since you’re through with me today, I’ll take my leave. Don’t bother to show me out. You need to finish cleaning your brushes. I hope the rest of your day goes well.”
Jonathan left in a state of shock. He was in love with her. He never meant it to happen, and he could never act on his feelings. But as he promised, he would always be there to care for and protect her. She just would not know…he loved her.
* * * *
The next morning, Kathryn was so excited over Lord and Lady Shelton coming to tea that she could not concentrate on the vicar’s sermon. She certainly hoped they would decide to have her do their portrait. The fact that Kathryn was also overjoyed Jonathan wanted them to continue their friendship did not help her concentration either. He was such an interesting man. She now considered him as one of her best friends.
When Lord Shelton and his wife arrived for tea, they loved her work and decided they wanted her to do their portrait. Since she was going to Bristol in August, she arranged to start their portrait in October when she returned, which would work for them as well. They wanted to include their three children, so it would be a family portrait.
The next two weeks went by quickly. Jonathan was due to arrive any moment for his final sitting. She prayed he would like his portrait as much as she’d enjoyed painting it.
A knock echoed through the studio, and Jonathan entered. “Good morning, Kathryn. You certainly look radiant today.”
“Thank you, and a good morning to you as well.” Kathryn experienced a lightening of her spirit as she took in his fine appearance. To her, he looked so much more animated than when she first met him. Even his tone of voice sounded more vibrant. His blue eyes glowed with life now. Oh, dear, am I developing feelings for him?
“Are you sure you will finish today?” he inquired. “Will I finally get to see it?”
She cleared her throat to disguise her emotions. “I shall definitely finish today. Please take your place by the bookcase, and I shall start.”
Jonathan struck the pose she needed. “I want to leave for Bristol on Friday. I thought we could leave at eight o’clock that morning, if that is convenient for you. I received a letter from Roderick and Allison, and they are eager for you to arrive.”
“Excellent.” A shiver of anticipation raced through her. She could not wait to paint their portrait.
“They mentioned they want to take you out on their yacht, so you will want to bring casual clothing you shan’t mind getting wet.” He sighed. “They want me to go out as well, but I do not enjoy the sea. Although, even though I have suffered from seasickness whenever I have gone in the past, I have promised I will go out with them when they take you.”
“I’m looking forward to it. I certainly hope I don’t get seasick, because I want to go on their yacht. I told you my sister loves it, and she has assured me I will enjoy it.” She added the finishing touches to his portrait and stepped back to survey her work, satisfied, she said, “I’m finished. Do you want to see it?”
Jonathan’s eyes glowed like an eager child as he joined her at the easel. Kathryn held her breath as she waited to see his response.
His eyes swept from the top to the bottom, and he declared, “This is incredible. It will look stunning in my family gallery. Thank you. You flattered me to such a degree, my future ancestors will see me as much better-looking than I am. When will it be dry enough for me to take home?”
Internally, she wanted to clap her hands and shout for joy. He was impressed by her work and loved it. “I’m so pleased you like it. I’m honored you plan to hang it in your family gallery. It should be dry by tomorrow afternoon, so you can pick it up any time after that.” Her heart flipped as she met his gaze. “I’m pleased we’ve decided to remain friends even though your portrait is finished.”
Warmth and emotion filled his eyes. “I value our friendship as well and definitely want to continue seeing you. I shall pick up my portrait tomorrow afternoon. I hope you plan to rest from your endeavors between now and Friday.”
He took her hand in his, and a shiver ran up her arm as he raised it and placed a warm kiss upon her fingers. He released it and cleared his throat. “Well, since you’re finished, I shall take my leave. Rest well, my dear, until we see each other on the morrow.”
Kathryn clasped her trembling hands to her breasts and could feel her thundering heart. Although a shiver of concern had her pulse jumping, she wanted desperately to continue seeing him. It was strange, but for the first time in her life, she trusted a man other than her brother and that had never happened before.
CHAPTER 9
Early August 1823
As Jonathan turned toward home after leaving Kathryn’s house, a twinge of pain pinched at his heart. Now that the portrait was finished he would no longer be spending time with her without others around, and then only occasionally. At least he would see her while she was working on Roderick’s family portrait. He had refrained from drinking anything, other than watered wine, for the past two weeks. Each day he went without any liquor, his determination to leave it alone grew stronger.
The nightmares still came, but when he had one now, he would read for a while or play the pianoforte. He had not visited the brothel, either. He could never consider being with another woman, after acknowledging his love for her.
Once he returned from Bristol and the harvest was in, he would go to London and try to forget her, but for the next month he would savor each moment he spent with her.
Jonathan had picked up his portrait, and it now hung in the family gallery. He went there at night and just stared at it, thinking of Kathryn and his love for her. If he were different, nothing would keep him from winning her heart, but the war, and his past deeds, had left him a broken man. She deserved so much more.
On Friday, he arrived at the duchess’s residence at eight in the morning. Kathryn and her maid were ready and soon they were traveling west toward Bristol. The weather remained fair, so they made good time. Of course, with the maid along, they could not have a private, more intimate conversation, primarily discussing various acquaintances and other generalities.
Roderick’s estate lay along the waterway, five miles west of Bristol, which led into the channel. While it was a small estate, it had a lovely old manor house of red brick with mullioned windows. When they arrived, the wrought iron doors opened, and Roderick and Allison rushed outside to greet them.
“I trust you had a pleasant journey?” his brother asked. “We’re so pleased you have arrived to do our portrait.”
“Thank you, Lord Roderick,” she replied. “It’s kind of you to have me. I look forward to getting started.”
“I have a bedroom upstairs,” he explained, “with excellent morning light, prepared for your use. It should make a good studio for you.”
Allison interjected, “Please, let us know if you have need of anything. Oh, and, the children are anxious to meet you. If they become a bother tell me. They do tend to chatter on a great deal, asking dozens of questions.”
Kathryn’s throaty laughter sent a wave of desi
re through him as she answered, “Oh, it is of no concern. I love children and have several nieces and nephews. They are the same way.”
While he stayed next to Roderick as they moved inside, Jonathan watched the play of emotions on Kathryn’s face as Allison continued their conversation. It was easy to see by the joy in her tone and the lively brilliance of her eyes that she truly loved children.
Allison laughed, pulling him from his thoughts. “Oh, and we want your stay to be an enjoyable one. While we’re anxious for you to paint our portrait, we want you to have a little holiday. We would like to take you out on our yacht, if that is of interest to you?”
“That sounds intriguing,” she enthused. “I look forward to it.”
“Oh, I’m so pleased. You must want to freshen up from your journey. Let me show you to your bedchamber so you can get settled in.” Arm in arm, Kathryn went with Allison up the stairs and disappeared from his sight.
Jonathan followed his brother into his study as Roderick asked, “Did you have a pleasant trip?”
After taking a seat across from him, he propped his leg on the ottoman. “I did, and Lady Kathryn is an amusing travel companion. We became good friends while she painted my portrait. It’s incredible, by the way; much better than I anticipated. I look distinguished, yet casual at the same time. I have already placed it in the family gallery.”
“Good to know.” Roderick leaned back in his chair. “We’ve enjoyed having Elaine with us this past month. The children adore her.”
“I’m glad Elaine has enjoyed her holiday.” They discussed their sister and some of her antics with the children for several minutes.
His brother cocked a brow. “I noticed you watching her as she went upstairs with Allison. You’re attracted to her, are you not? I saw the gleam in your eyes. Has she changed your mind regarding marriage?”
He laughed, more relaxed over Roderick’s matchmaking than before. “I do find her attractive. If I did want to wed, Lady Kathryn would make a fine wife, but I’m not good enough for her. You know how I’ve lived my life for the past eight years. Besides, she’s not interested in marriage. She told me from the beginning of our acquaintance she never plans to wed.”
“You would make a good husband, and any woman would be proud to be your wife.” He raised a brow. “As far as her lack of interest in wedded bliss, women do change their minds.”
Jonathan felt a twinge in his heart, because he believed Kathryn would not change her mind—even if he had changed his.
He considered telling Roderick he was in love with her, but Roderick would tell him to pursue her. She was too sweet and innocent for a rake like him, so he refrained. “How is Allison feeling? Is everything going well with her?”
“Allison’s fine,” he replied. “Just a little morning sickness. And what of you? I must say, you look much better than when I last saw you.”
Thank God, I stopped drinking. “I’m feeling much better. I haven’t had anything stronger than wine for over two weeks. I have accepted I can’t drink hard liquor. Truly, it didn’t relieve the pain that much anyway. The laudanum does a much better job. Now, when I have a nightmare, I either read or play the pianoforte.”
“I’m greatly relieved. It was ruining your health and making you look older than your years.” Roderick rose and came to him, then clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m sure you would like to go to your bedchamber. Let me show you where you will be staying.”
After he awoke from a lie-in, he went downstairs and joined everyone in the drawing room. Kathryn was already there, and his breath caught. Her lavender dinner gown turned her lovely eyes a deep violet. Her abundant, fiery-red hair was arranged at the crown of her head with ringlets of curls cascading over her pale shoulders. Although he fought his desire, he was doing a very poor job of it. His trousers pulled tight against his loins. He wanted to grab her and carry her up to his room where he would make mad, passionate love to her all night.
God’s teeth. I must stop these thoughts.
Elaine rushed to him. “I’ve had ever so much fun. I love going on their yacht, and we’ve gone swimming almost every day.”
Lord, it’s good to see her looking so happy. “I’m glad you’re having a delightful time. While you’ve enjoyed their yacht, I do not. Seasickness is not pleasant. Although I have promised Roderick I will go. Lady Kathryn has expressed the desire to go as well.”
Roderick looked at him. “Since the weather is fair, we shall try it tomorrow and put you out of your misery. You never know, it may not affect you this time.” He turned to Lady Kathryn. “I pray you will enjoy it as much as the rest of us do.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” she replied. “My sister lives along the Devonshire coast, and she loves going out on their yacht. I do not anticipate any problems with seasickness.”
Jonathan interjected, “We shall find out tomorrow. I hope for your sake you do not.” He turned to Allison. “Are you fine going out in your delicate condition?”
Allison rolled her eyes. “Of course. We’ve been taking the yacht out a couple times a week, and I love it as much as ever.”
The butler entered and announced dinner, interrupting their conversation. The meal was outstanding. He enjoyed every bite from the first spoonful of the oyster stew that burst across his tongue, to the last bite of berry tart.
He and his brother did not linger over their port and cigars, and when they entered the drawing room, Allison asked him if he would care to entertain them. He selected a Mozart concerto and became lost in the music.
After playing for an hour. Allison brought the evening to a close, since they had plans to go out on the yacht early, and everyone retired to their rooms at ten.
* * * *
After Sarah finished brushing Kathryn’s hair, she sent her away. She gazed around the room, taking in the pretty lace curtains at the window. Moving to it, she stared at the star-filled night, littered with stars. She inhaled the tangy scent of salt water and sand filtering inside. It was so refreshing and exhilarating.
Now she understood why Helen loved living by the sea. She looked forward to going out on the yacht following morning. It was too bad Jonathan detested it. She prayed he would not suffer from seasickness the next day.
Jonathan looked so much better lately. Instead of ruddy cheeks, his coloring had become clearer, and his eyes were no longer filled with pain. What had changed for him? She was pleased to see the changes, and he was more attractive than when she’d first met him.
In fact, she found him handsome, with his jet-black hair and startling blue eyes. It almost made her change her stance on men. What it would feel like if he kissed her?
Oh, my, where did that thought come from?
Kathryn had never wondered what a kiss would feel like before, and then there was the strange feeling in the pit of her belly every time she met his gaze. Those feelings were disconcerting. She shook off her thoughts, then climbed into bed, yawned, and soon she was fast asleep.
When she awoke to sunlight streaming through her bedroom window, and the squawk of sea gulls flying around outside filtered inside. She flung her bedcovers off and dashed to the window. An amazing summer day greeted her, perfect for yachting. She rushed through her morning ablutions without summoning her maid and skipped downstairs to breakfast.
After everyone had finished breaking their fast, they went to the shore and climbed into a small dinghy. The men rowed them to the yacht. Soon they were on board and the sails caught the wind blowing them out to sea.
Once they entered the Bristol Channel, the yacht picked up speed, sailing them across the ocean at a surprising pace. She enjoyed the beauty of the deep blue water, but the motion started a revolt in her belly.
Kathryn glanced at Jonathan several feet away. He had turned an unhealthy shade of green. She scooted next to him. “I feel slightly ill. I hope it passes soon.”
He groaned. “It does not work that way for me, but perhaps it will for you. I shall be unwell until we retu
rn to shore.”
Allison came to them and sighed. “Oh, dear, both of you are ill, are you not? I had hoped it would not affect you this time, it’s the same for you as well, Lady Kathryn. I shall tell Roderick.”
Allison went to the helm and spoke with him. Roderick shrugged his shoulders, clearly resigned to turning around.
Roderick steered the yacht into the waterway, and before long, they were on firm ground. Since it was still early in the day, Roderick, Allison, and Elaine decided to continue on with their plans after she and Jonathan assured them they would be fine now that they were on land.
Kathryn watched the yacht return to the channel. “They were so disappointed we became ill. I thought I would like it. I did enjoy it when we were still in the waterway, but once the yacht reached the open sea, it was horrible. I feel fine now. Is it not odd the way that works?”
“I’ve tried to go out several times, but I always react the same way,” he told her. “It’s a good thing I joined the army instead of the navy, or I would have been in trouble. I suppose we should go to the house. What do you have planned for the rest of the day?”
As the wind blew her hair, she tucked an annoying lock behind her ear. “I shall go to the studio your kind sister-in-law designated for my use and prepare for their first sitting tomorrow. What will you do?”
Bees buzzed in her belly as she watched him tap his clean-shaven chin. “I think I shall play for a while. I’ve been playing almost every day for the last few weeks. I’m not sure why I ever stopped.”
By that time, they had returned to the house. “You play beautifully. I tried to learn without any success. While I could play the correct notes my right hand and also my left, when I tried to put them together it was a disaster. My sister-in-law, Mary, is an accomplished pianist. I could listen to her for hours.”
Jonathan crinkled his brow. “I didn’t realize you had another sister-in-law. You’ve never mentioned her before. Your late brother’s wife, I presume? I did not know he was wed. Did they have any children?”
