KNEEL (Sins of Seven Book 1)

by Dani René

  My long dark hair hangs down my back in waves. My blue eyes are bright with unshed tears, but I can’t do anything about that. I know the end is coming and as much as I want him to love me, I know a man like him isn’t capable of love. He’s not going to give me forever.

  I knew this when I submitted to him. I blame myself. My phone vibrates on the dressing table alerting me to a message from him no doubt.

  When I swipe my finger over the screen I find his name glowing brightly at me.

  Sir: I’m leaving work now. I trust you’ll be on time. I’m not in the mood for waiting tonight.

  Sighing, I tap out my response and hit send while I make my way to the door. He bought me a small Audi A3, cherry red, which he told me reminded him of me. Cherries. His favorite fruit. Only, as I slip into the driver’s seat of my car, I know I’m no longer his first choice.

  Me: In the car, Sir. I’ll be there soon.

  As I make my way toward Seven Sins, I feel a sense of foreboding overcome me. It hangs heavy around me like I’m driving to my end. Swallowing deeply, I turn on the radio and listen to the mixed playlist he made me when he bought the car. The song Bad Romance echoes through the speakers in Jared Leto’s voice. He did a cover of the original and to be honest, I prefer his version because it’s more haunting which fits with how I’m currently feeling.

  As soon as I pull up to the club, I park and exit the vehicle with anxiety tightening my stomach. My hands tremble because I know what’s going to happen when I walk in there. He’s going to leave me and there’s nothing I can do about it. Our three weeks are almost up. The contract will end tonight, a few days earlier than we agreed, but it was never up to me. It’s final and so is our relationship.

  Each step I take is like a nail in the coffin, nearing the doors, I try to put on a brave face. If Carrick sees me, he’ll know something’s wrong. My shoes click on the asphalt as I head toward the large black double doors.

  “Ms. Gallagher,” the bouncer greets with a smile as his eyes drink me in.

  I can’t help shuddering in frustration. There’s only one man I want looking at me like that. And that is where my mistake lies. I shouldn’t have fallen. I should’ve stayed strong.

  “Hello.” I smile back. He opens the door and allows me in, but I don’t miss the way he tries to glance down the front of my dress. As soon as I walk into the decadence that is Seven Sins, I feel like I’m walking backward. I’m not moving into a future with Nathan, I’m strolling back into the pain and hurt that I’ve been hiding from.

  “Eva.”

  My name drags me from my inner turmoil. I turn to Dylan working the bar, he’s smiling at me like he’s missed me. I’ve known him for a long time, almost five years.

  “Hey, D, can I please get a shot of tequila?” I ask, settling on the stool. When he sets the shot glass on the counter, I pick it up and down it without salt or lemon.

  “Are you okay?” He frowns in concern.

  I don’t respond, instead, I slam the glass down, motioning for him to pour me another. Once the liquid is kissing the lip of the glass, I pick it up and down it easily.

  “What did that asshole do to you?” Carrick’s silky-smooth tone comes from behind me as his fingertips trail my spine. Everything about my best friend is elegant. Even while he’s drenched in feral darkness, there’s an alluring sensuality about him. Confidence oozes from him like a cologne.

  His touch heats my flesh with tingles. It’s been so long, but he still affects the girl inside me. His touch is gentle, firm, yet also tender, but I know that’s not Carrick Anderson. This man is one who takes control in the harshest of ways. He loves his toys, leash, chains, and whips. He’s known for being a man who enjoys control in many ways. But right now, he’s emanating seductiveness that eases my heartache.

  “What makes you think he did anything?” I question, schooling my features. I don’t need him seeing my pain, not right now. It’s his fault I got involved with Nate. No, I can’t blame Carrick.

  “I’ve known you since you were sixteen, little one. I’m not stupid. Whenever you down tequila like it’s water means something has happened,” he says quietly, reminding me of the time he found me in the middle of the nightclub high on something, drunk on tequila, and completely out of my element. A sixteen-year-old girl trying to act like an adult. It was also the night he saved me, walking into my life like a knight.

  “Carrick, do not do this now,” I plead, my gaze meeting his icy ones.

  “Why, Eva? Because you’re going to fall into my bed, slip onto my hard cock which needs you?” he murmurs seductively in my ear and I’m so close to saying yes when Nate walks in. I see him just behind Carrick. Two men. Both want me more than I can fathom, but only one holds my heart. I didn’t realize it until this moment. Looking at both of them, I realize I know where my love lies, and it’s with Nathan Ashcroft.

  “Eva.” The deep voice of my Sir rumbles through me like I’m tethered to him and he’s tugging me back. I’m emotionally yanked into his hold where I wish he’d keep me forever. But they’re all just wishes, dreams. I’ve become accustomed to those being surreal, nothing in life is concrete. No one ever stays. The only constant I’ve ever had was Rick.

  He doesn’t say more, but the way he’s glaring at me it’s as if he’s bound me to his soul. And he has. I know it and he does too. I rise, turning to face him fully. His eyes are molten as they burn a hole into me. Through me. He’s angry. So am I.

  “Room one. Now.” Without response, I turn, casting one last glance at Carrick and head to the room in question. I don’t want to know what they’re about to say to each other. Both men want me. Both men can’t have me. Because my heart only belongs to one.

  I slink out of my dress, folding it and setting it on the cabinet in the corner. This room, much like the other’s is decked in dark shades of decadence—red, purple, and dark blue. It’s filled with sensual and sinful toys, but in reality, it’s for Dom’s and submissives who derive pleasure from play, not for a Master who enjoys what Nate does. When the door flies open, I meet his intense heated gaze.

  “Thinking about Carrick’s dick inside you, sweet slut?” he grunts angrily, tugging off his tie, then flinging the navy silk causing it to land on the bed. I watch him roll up the sleeves of his crisp white dress shirt. It’s still impeccable, smooth, and crease-free. He’s in Dominant mode and I know there’ll be no changing that now. We can’t talk. In the three weeks we’ve known each other, it’s been a mix of sweet and romantic, as well as dark and dangerous, but we’ve always been able to talk.

  His gaze penetrates me. Boring into the very depths of my heart, gripping it tightly in his fist as if he’s about to rip it out and stomp it into the ground.

  “Tell me. You and Carrick looked rather cozy at the bar a moment ago. What were you talking about?” he asks, stalking toward me. His eyes glitter with danger.

  “No, Sir. I wasn’t thinking about his dick inside me. As a matter of fact, I was thinking about yours filling me like you always do.”

  He smirks. His tongue darts out, wetting his plump lower lip then his pearly white teeth bite down on the flesh which sends a jolt of pleasured heat to my clit. “Don’t fucking lie to me. Tell me, Eva. Did you ever fuck Carrick?” His question is loaded with the promise of punishment and pain. That’s all Nathan knows. Tonight, he’s going to rain down hell fire on me because yes, I’m about to tell him something he knew all along. There’s no way that Carrick didn’t tell Nate about us.

  “I was young when I was with him. It’s been years.” I give him the only answer I can, the honest one. It has been a long time since I had sex with Carrick. When he told me that he didn’t think we should be together, I moved on. He still watched over me, protecting me, but there wasn’t anything sexual between us. We do flirt, that’s a given, but it’s never been more than that. When he rounds me, gripping my chin, he gets in my face. His gaze is fire. His touch is pure anger.

  “And if I didn’t walk in tonig
ht? Would you have fucked him?” he hisses in my face with rage simmering below the surface and I have a feeling it’s about to erupt. The fog of need that surrounds him, clouds around me, pulling me into its thick haze and I’m caught in it, never wanting to leave. I love the dangerous Nathan as much as I do the romantic one.

  “Why? Are you going to punish me if I did?” My retort is going to earn me a lashing, I have no doubt, but the way he acts when we’re in certain scenes, like I no longer matter to him makes me angry. I love this man who’s trying to hurt me and I know tonight is our last night together, it’s written all over his face. I see it clear as day. He’s saying goodbye in his own brutal way.

  He’s going to give me one last memory.

  Pain.

  Punishment.

  Pleasure.

  “Do not fucking test me, slut,” he grunts, hisses, spits at me like I’m nothing. His nickname for me forgetting the important ingredient. It’s no longer said with reverence. It’s said in anger. It all becomes clear then. I know how he’s kept from loving his other submissives. He pushes them away in anger. His kink of degrading them, works in his favor to keep emotion from his scenes and from his life.

  I’m not them though, I’m different. There is no way I’ll allow him to do this and walk away. I’ve seen him love. I’ve felt him love. And as he grips my hair, tugging my head back, my heart aches, it physically hurts for him.

  “Eva, tonight I have no time for games. We’ll play our scene. I felt like it needed to be in the place where we first met. Where we initially started all this…” He gestures with his hand, releasing my hair, but holding onto my arm.

  Shoving him away, I step back, needing space, needing a moment to breathe through the emotion that’s got a hold of my throat. It’s squeezing the very breath from my lungs, and as they empty, the sting of my tears burn my eyes. His gaze is all-consuming, an inferno that’s going to take me alive. Even my name on his lips sounds different. Strange even.

  “I know why you brought me here.” I tell him, then turn away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. I don’t want to see how little I meant to him. The tender moments play in my mind. All those brutal scenes, the times I felt like I would explode from pleasure. Everything tumbles through me. All that time we spent together, each moment, every smile, laugh, and touch. The nights he slept with his cock buried inside me, connected. It’s all come down to a fucking scene in a club where he’s probably fucked countless others. All this time I’ve spent with a man who didn’t even care.

  “You have no fucking idea, get on your knees.” His face is contorted in anger when I glance his way. I’m naked. Not because I’m not wearing clothes, but because I’ve bared my soul to him and now I have nothing left. He’s got all of me and he’s about to crush it like it means nothing.

  “Why?”

  “I told you once, Eva. I will make you kneel. Do it. Kneel.”

  I want to fight. I want to claw his eyes out. I want to rip through his shirt, the flesh of his chest. I want to shove my hand in and find his dead, un-beating heart, and I want to tear it from his ribcage and squeeze until there’s nothing left. Because that’s what he’s doing to me right now. That’s how he’s breaking me. His only slave. The only one who wanted to stay. Even after she saw the monster.

  I don’t respond to him with words. I merely show him with my body how I feel. All my anger dissipates into nothing and I drop to my knees, obeying the last few commands he offers. Not showing him how my heart fractures, inch by soul destroying inch.

  Nate

  I watch her kneel. I feel her pain right to my very fucking core. But there’s nothing I can do about it. In this world, there’s no room for love. There’s no place for emotion. To keep her safe, I have to let her go. I’ve made the decision to hurt her tonight. Not in the way she expects. She wants a whipping, she needs the physical pain because she knows she’ll receive the emotional pleasure. But tonight, I have to steel myself and break her emotionally.

  I’ve come to the conclusion that love is not in the cards for me. Even though each time she obeys, every time I see her relinquish her control, offering me her supple body like it’s a gift, I know that I’m not good enough for her. Fuck. Perhaps Carrick is better for her than I can ever be.

  He’s an asshole at the best of times, but deep down, I know he’s a good guy and he’ll care for her. With my past coming back to haunt me the way it has, I can’t risk her being hurt, so I have to walk away. I don’t want her to remember me. I want her to hurt so badly tonight that she’ll walk away with hate in her heart for me.

  “Are you ready to play, slut?” I grunt, not using her pet name, making her feel used like all the other women I’ve walked into this room with. I couldn’t do it at home, I needed somewhere neutral. A place where she will have someone to watch her when I walk out. Carrick and Asher know what I have planned. They both told me I’m making a mistake. And as much as I want to believe them, I don’t.

  “Yes, Sir,” she murmurs beautifully, but doesn’t look at me, her eyes are downcast, yet I notice the glistening on her lashes. Tears.

  I walk to the door, pulling it open and gesturing for the blonde to come inside. I hate blondes. They do nothing for me, and that’s why I’ve chosen her. She’s perfect for what I have to do. “Eva, look at me,” I command, tugging the toy I’ve brought into the room with us over to where my girl is kneeling. Her big blue eyes widen further when she sees the other woman. “This is Leonie, she’s a toy just like you,” I taunt. Humiliation. Degrading Eva isn’t as easy as it is for me to do to others. Because I allowed her to get into my heart. I fell for her and now I’m going to break us both in the process.

  When she didn’t mean anything to me but being a hole to use, I found it easy to hurt her, and then pleasure her. But this time there will be no aftercare. This time, she’ll run to the arms of another man, and I won’t be angry for her doing that. Because that’s my plan.

  “Are you going to be a good slut for me?” I ask her, swallowing the bile that threatens to choke me. Her eyes are glossy, but she doesn’t cry. Fuck, she doesn’t even flinch anymore. She’s steeling herself. That’s good.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  She’s always been perfect at playing my games better than I ever thought. I watch her school her features. Her transparency is clear to me the moment I look at her. I step behind the blonde, undoing her bra, allowing it to fall from her shoulders. Reaching around, I pull on her nipples, tweaking them until they’re pebbled peaks. “See how well she responds, slut?” Eva’s gaze is pure fury, and rage dances in the depths. Soon, she’ll hate me like I need her to.

  I release the girl’s tits and rip her panties from her tiny hips. Gripping her ass, I squeeze, opening the cheeks to see her tiny holes. Leonie is slim, she’s smaller than Eva, and I know if I fucked her I’d break her in two.

  “She’s got beautiful little holes for me to abuse,” I taunt the woman I love. I watch her shatter in front of me. And each time I glance her way, I convince myself that it’s the right thing to do. I’ve been greedy, needing her more than I was allowed. More than I should.

  “Please, Sir,” she pleads, her gaze asking more than her lips are saying. She doesn’t want this. But I have to do it.

  “I didn’t ask you to speak. Did I?” She doesn’t respond. I grip the toy’s hips, leading her over to the bench that sits to the left of where I have Eva kneeling. Her body shifts on her heels uncomfortably. Once our guest is bent over, I lean in and plant kisses on her thighs. Soft, delicate pecks.

  A lone tear falls from Eva’s left eye, trickling its way down her cheek in sadness. I reach for the smooth cunt of Leonie, stroking it, making it wet with just the tips of my index and middle fingers. Her moans fall from her lips, needy and breathy. Pleasuring her, I slip both fingers into her sodden hole, feeling her walls pulse around my digits. Sucking me into her body, she whimpers when I crook my fingers. All the while, I watch Eva.

  The pain is clear, written all
over her face. Agony unlike anything I’ve ever seen mars her beauty. It grips my chest and breathing is difficult. My mind is in turmoil. I’ve never hurt before, I’ve never allowed myself to feel any emotion for any woman I’ve been with. And this is why, because the emotional pain bleeds into the physical. It grips me in an iron clad fist, ripping me to shreds. “You see, Eva. This life doesn’t have love in it. Emotion only breaks you, this darkness we surround ourselves in is only made for cold, dead hearts that no longer allow love in,” I inform her. Knowing how much she’s hurting doesn’t satisfy me. I didn’t think it would. I knew this would be difficult, but I didn’t realize just how much so.

  “Sir,” she gasps, her cheeks now tearstained.

  I pull my fingers from the pussy of Leonie and bring them to my lips. “The heart is something that has to be locked away. This,” I gesture around us, while cleaning my fingers of the sweet, yet musky juices. “Is the only way.”

  I tug Blondie back up, looking her in the eyes. “Go. Thank you for offering yourself.” My command is clear. I’m done with her. Disappointment etches on her pretty young face and it’s all I need to know that she wanted more. Too bad, princess. The asshole is back.

  Once I’m alone with Eva, I tug her up by her hair, and drag her to the bed. I push her down front first. Bending her over, I watch as she trembles.

  “I … I didn’t mean—”

  I swat her ass so hard the sting on my hand smarts painfully. Her words are halted, but her whimpers are music to my ears. “You did mean. You fucking meant it when you looked at me didn’t you, I heard you murmur it. You said those three fucking words that you knew would either break us or make us,” I growl angrily. “I told you, Eva. Never fall in love with me, but you did. Didn’t you?” I swat her again, harder this time. “Did you see me lick those sweet juices from Leonie? That’s who I am. Is that the man you want to love?” My questions are harsh, the warning tone telling her I’m no longer playing around.