The Middle Realm

by Alessia Mattei

  Alexander and I had met in high school. I had seen him around school but never really talked to him. Sure, we said “hi” to each other in the halls, but we weren’t really friends. We were more along the line of acquaintances.

  One day when I was getting ready to leave school, I noticed my car had a flat. I had no clue how to change a flat. Alexander noticed and offered to change the tire for me. I was going to call roadside assistance, but he insisted on doing it himself. He said I would be waiting forever for roadside assistance to come do it for me. It was so sweet of him. At that moment I fell for him and I fell hard.

  We started dating and continued dating after we graduated. He went to NYU and I went to design school. We had talked about getting married once my internship/apprenticeship was over. Well, that wedding wasn’t going to happen.

  I got off the railing and walked into the hotel room and made my way to the mantle. I glanced at the clock. It was three in the morning. Emma was still asleep.

  I had questions about some things, so I set out to find a ghost to talk to, preferably Edgar or Camille; if not, I was sure any ghost would happily answer my questions.

  I walked through the door and into the hallway. To my right and to my left I saw plenty of living people coming and going, but no spirits. On the 5th floor I did see a ghost dog chasing a ghost cat. They couldn’t help me.

  I found some ghosts down in the hotel’s lobby. There was a ghost couple making out on a sofa, but I didn’t feel like disrupting them; they were really going at it. I found another spirit standing by a window, looking outside. She had on a full-length fur coat. She must have had money. I walked up to her. “Hi. May I ask you a question?”

  “Je ne comprends pas,” she said.

  I should have taken French instead of Italian. Then again, how did I know I would be getting an internship in France?

  Well, there were other spirits around I could ask. I went up to all the other ghosts in the lobby and -- guess what? -- They only spoke French. Well, they certainly couldn’t help me.

  I walked out the door and onto the sidewalk outside. There weren’t many people out this early in the morning, but there were some other spirits. I was able to feel the presence of other spirits in the area. I could sense that they were near me. Don’t ask me how it worked. I had no idea then. I would find out, though. I listened carefully for any spirits speaking English. I shouldn’t have been angry that I was having trouble finding a ghost that spoke my language. I was in France after all.

  I walked around some more, and the farther I walked, the more impatient I grew. I got tired of walking. I wasn’t physically tired. I was just tired of not finding what I was looking for. I was about to sit on a bench and lower my head in defeat when I heard a spirit talking in English.

  “Poor little doggy is stuck in his yard. I bet you wish you could run around free like me, but you can’t. You’re stuck behind that stupid fence,” a male voice taunted. I turned around and looked behind me. Across the street was an old house with a yard surrounded by a wrought iron fence. Inside the fence, a dog was barking hysterically at the ghost sitting on the fence taunting him. I felt bad for the dog.

  I hated it when people taunted animals. My dad used to taunt our dogs once in a while, but it was all in good fun. This ghost wanted to annoy the dog, and he was succeeding. I decided to step in.

  “Leave the poor dog alone. What did it do you?” I asked the ghost as I walked up toward him. I had caught him off guard. He jumped off the fence and stared me up and down. The look on his face said that he was happy with what he saw.

  “That little shit has been barking at me for over an hour. I just wanted to sit here and relax. I can’t though, because it won’t stop barking,” he said.

  “So you taunt it?” I asked.

  He shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “Yeah. So what?”

  “You do realize that you’re encroaching on the dog’s territory. This is his yard. He has right to be mad,” I said.

  “After what I went through in my life, I can sit wherever I damn please. I’m not going to worry about pissing off some dumb dog,” he said.

  “Fine, then he’ll just keep on barking, and you won’t get any peace and quiet,” I said.

  “Can you shut it up, then, please? You’re acting like you’re an expert on canine behavior!” he said.

  I took it he wasn’t an animal person.

  I took matters into my own hands. I walked through the fence and into the yard. The ghost stared at me with curiosity. I walked up to the dog, and it stopped barking. I got down to the dog’s level and looked at its collar; his name is Teddy. He is some sort of terrier. I told Teddy how good of a dog he was and how cute he was. I then picked up a stick and threw it. We continued to play fetch until the dog got tired. He then retreated to his doghouse and fell asleep.

  “That is how to get a dog to stop barking. Tire him out,’ I said.

  “Wow, impressive,” he responded.

  “I may be no Cesar Millan, but I’m pretty good with dogs,” I said.

  “Who’s Cesar Millan? Is he, like, Augustus Caesar or something?” the ghost asked.

  I forgot. Not all ghosts follow what is going on in popular culture. This one clearly didn’t. Edgar had said some spirits liked to know what is going on in the world. They watch the news or look over someone’s shoulder that is surfing the Internet. Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you couldn’t keep up with current events?

  “Never mind. Could I ask you a question, if that’s okay?” I asked.

  “Sure,” he said.

  “You don’t have to answer if it’s too personal. I would really appreciate it if you did, though.” I said, “Were your loved ones there to greet you when you died? Were they there to comfort you?”

  “Yeah, my mother, who died while giving birth to me, was there. She held my hand. My grandfather and great grandfather were there as well. My great aunt and a friend, who both died when I was young, were there with me, too. It made it a little easier. I never knew my mother, but having her there made dying not so bad,” he said.

  So the spirits of relatives who’d gone on before me should have been there when I died? I didn’t have anybody. I was alone. Why had no one been there for me? Maybe that didn’t happen to everyone.

  “Is this true for everyone?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Every spirit I’ve talked to experienced the same thing,” he said.

  Okay, so if it’s true for everyone, why was I alone when I died? Why were none of my relatives there when I died? I really didn’t like this. It was not like I didn’t have anyone. I had my grandma Sue and my great grandparents. I had some great aunts and uncles. I had to get out of here. I couldn’t stay there.

  I took off running. I had no idea where I was running. I just had to run. I needed to clear my head.

  I didn’t know why all of this had happened to me. After running for quite some time, I finally stopped. I didn’t know where I was. And I also had no idea he was following me.

  “Is everything ok? You just started running,” the ghost said.

  “I’m fine,” I lied. “I didn’t mean to run out on you like that”

  He wasn’t buying it.

  “You’re not okay,” he said. “Something’s wrong. It’s kind of obvious.”

  “It is?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he said, “Someone who says they’re fine doesn’t just take off running,”

  Why did he follow me? He’d already answered my question. It was none of his damn business why I took off.

  “I am fine. All I wanted was my question answered and you did that and I thank you. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to the hotel where my friend is staying. You’re not going to follow me, are you?” I asked.

  `“No, I won’t. I hope that whatever problems you’re facing you are able to resolve,” he said.

  “Thank you,” I said sincerely.

  I took off back to the hotel, going back the way I came. Maybe I w
as a little rough on the ghost? He was only trying to help. I turned around to make sure he wasn’t there. Good, I was not being followed by anyone.

  I walked through the lobby and into the stairwell. I went up to my -- I mean, Emma’s room. She was still asleep. Her blanket had fallen off the bed, so I picked it up and draped it over her. I walked out onto the balcony.

  “Nadine, are you there? I have another question,” I called out into the darkness. She did say that if I had any questions, she would answer them the best she could.

  “Yes,” Nadine said, appearing on a chair that I never noticed in the corner. She was sitting with her legs crossed and her hands on her lap.

  That was fast, I thought. I’m glad I didn’t have to wait, because this was kind of urgent.

  “I was alone when I died,” I said.

  “Oh, honey. A lot of people are, unfortunately,” she said, patting my hand gently.

  “No, I meant that, when I died, none of my relatives who had passed on before me were there.”

  “That’s impossible. There had to be someone with you, a grandparent, a friend, an aunt or uncle, a cousin -- someone. There is no way you could have been alone,” she said.

  Why would I lie about something like this? What part of my being alone when I died did she not understand? There was absolutely nobody there to hold my hand. I saw none of my relatives when my soul left my body.

  “Are you sure you were alone? Maybe you just didn’t recognize anyone?” Nadine said.

  “No, I’m positive. I was alone,” I said.

  All the time I talked, Nadine had this scared, worried look on her face. That was not good. I wondered what it meant, and I was starting to get scared. Did something bad happen to my relatives?

  “Nadine, what’s happening?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “The fact that your relatives were not there with you when you died is a bad sign. They’re probably missing. I need to go talk to the head spirits. They may know what to do. I’ve never heard of spirits going missing before”

  “What am I supposed to do?” I asked.

  “Just try to stay calm,” Nadine, said. “I’ll come find you if I find anything out.” Then she disappeared.

  That night had become even more of a nightmare. I didn’t know what to do. Something bad had happened. My loved ones were missing, possibly. How did that happen? Had I done something wrong?

  I needed to talk to Emma. I went in to the room and woke her up. She was not an easy person to wake up. She had always been a heavy sleeper. First I started poking her. I didn’t know if she felt it. After that didn’t work, I tried flicking the lights on and off.

  “Savannah, stop. I’m trying to sleep,” Emma said.

  “Wake up. I have to talk to you. It’s important,” I said.

  She had already gone back to sleep. I started jumping up and down on the bed. That just caused her to roll over. So I went to the bathroom and filled up the cup sitting on the sink. I carefully walked over to the bed and dumped the water on Emma’s head. That woke her up.

  “What the hell, Savannah? Did you really have to dump water on me? You could have just nudged me or something? What’s so important that you had to wake me up? I was going to get up soon anyway,” she said, groggily.

  “My dead relatives are missing,” I said.

  “How could they be missing? Aren’t they buried in your family crypt?” she said.

  “No, not the bodies. Their spirits are missing. Emma, my relatives are gone. I was alone when I died, and they should have been there with me,” I said.

  I sat down on the bed next to her. She seemed to be in as much shock as I was. Soon after I sat on the bed, Nadine appeared. She asked me to go out onto the balcony with her. I followed her. I was amazed at how fast she was.

  “Savannah, I don’t know how to tell you this. But, they’re gone. They’re not in heaven. The head spirits talked to the angels and none of your relatives could be found,” she said. “As we speak, the angels are searching for them. There are spirits searching for them on Earth as well. They may be in the Middle Realm, but it seems unlikely. We don’t know how this could have happened. We’re all so sorry.”

  I started to cry. Nadine gave me a hug. First I lost my family on Earth, and then I lost my relatives who had died before me. I’d never felt so alone. Why is everything happening to me? Was I that horrible of a person that everything that meant something to me was taken away?

  Nadine left me. I stood there, stunned. After a few minutes, I went back in to join Emma. All it took was one look at my face and Emma knew that something was really, really wrong.

  “Savannah, what happened?” she asked.

  “They’re not in heaven. The angels looked, but they couldn’t find them. There are spirits who are searching for them as well. They may be in the middle Realm,” I said.

  “Savannah, I have so many questions right now. You’re talking about angels, spirits and something called the Middle Realm,” Emma said.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have laid all this on her without explaining.

  “When you die, you either go to heaven provided you have no unfinished business, or you go to the Middle Realm. That’s where spirits wait before they get into heaven. I’ll explain more later,” I said. “Anyway, my relatives should have been in heaven. They’re not there. I have to find out what happened to them.”

  “Wow, so that’s what happens when you die? You’re reunited with loved ones who have already died?” Emma asked.

  “Yeah, you’re supposed to,” I said.

  “Does it hurt when you die?” Emma asked.

  “I think it depends on how you die. I was in pain at first, but then it went away,” I said. I could see Emma felt bad.

  I couldn’t blame Emma for being curious about what happens after one dies. If our roles had been reversed, I would have probably been asking the same questions.

  “So angels and heaven do exist? That must mean then that hell exists?” she asked.

  I nodded. She seemed to be talking this all in stride. I was pleasantly surprised. Then all at once something occurred to me. Maybe she could somehow help me find them.

  “Hey, Emma?” I asked.

  “Yeah?” she said.

  I hoped she’d agree to this:

  “Do you think you could help me find my relatives? Even if all you can do is be supportive, it would mean so much to me,” I said.

  She looked reluctant. I think she knew I was asking for more than just support. She may have figured out that I was onto her secret. I was still not 100% sure that she could see ghosts. But even if she couldn’t, her help would be greatly appreciated.

  “I will help you,” she said, “It’s the least I could do after all I’ve put you through.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “This means so much.”

  “I’m happy to help. Can I go back to sleep now? I still have some time left,” Emma said.

  “Sure,” I said. I let her sleep. There was nothing else we could do at the moment. Emma turned off the light and went back to sleep for a few more hours.

  After a little while, Emma woke up. She was again groggy. She showered and got dressed. If it hadn’t been for me, Emma would have looked like a drag queen, which she did when she tried to dress herself and do her own make up. I still didn’t understand how she managed to look like a drag queen. It absolutely baffled me.

  I made her up to look like me. Well, she did everything. I just instructed her. I even sent her to get her hair cut like mine at my favorite Paris salon. I told her to tell the stylist she wanted a bob. The issue of my tattoos was something we would have to deal with later. Emma was just going to love that. She was getting more and more comfortable with me in my new altered state. I guess you could say, “altered.” I’m still Savannah Montgomery. I’m just not in my body anymore.

  After glancing at the clock, I saw it was time to call Balenciaga. I hated to think that I would not be the one interning. But I’d still be a part of
it. Even if no one except Emma knew I was there.

  “Okay, Emma. You have to call Balenciaga and tell them you have to delay the start of the internship. Do you remember where the number is?” I asked her.

  “Yes, in the Louis Vuitton carry-on bag, ‘the one with the ‘LV’ logo plastered all over it.’”

  “Do you have to be a sarcastic little bitch? I don’t have to be all Casper the Friendly Ghost. I can go all “Poltergeist” on you if you piss me off.” I was really getting worked up. Usually little things like Emma’s sarcasm don’t get to me.

  “Savannah, calm down. I’m sorry. Just take a deep breath and relax,” she said.

  I just stared at her.

  “Oops. Again, I am so sorry. I forgot. You know I didn’t say it to be mean. It’s just out of habit.”

  “I forgive you. Now will you call?”

  “Okay”, she said. She walked over to the bag and pulled out the planner. She brought it to the table and thumbed through it. When she found the number, she picked up the phone and began to dial.

  “Wait!” I shouted. It came out louder that it should have. I don’t know why I shouted; Emma was sitting right in front of me. She almost dropped my phone.

  “What now, Savannah? I’m calling, just like you wanted,” she said, annoyed.

  “Nothing.”

  “Okay. Anything else?” Emma asked, expectantly.

  “That is all. You may proceed.”

  With that I left. I wandered the garden a little before going back up. When I returned, Emma was getting ready.

  “What did they say? Do they understand?”

  “They said they understood. Things happen. They said I could take as long as I need. Apparently, I’m far too valuable to lose. They said they hope everything is okay and if there is anything they can do, just call them back,” she said.