“Yeah, okay. I’ll catch y’all later.”
They watched Eagan head back into the kitchen. Renner brushed a finger down her cheek. “You okay?”
Her smile was genuine. “Yeah.”
“I need to talk to Magic, and then I’m heading home. Will you be there?”
Her eyes flit away shyly. “I’ve been there every night, haven’t I?”
“Yes, you have.” His mouth raised in a grin. “And I want it to stay that way.” He squeezed her thigh, high enough up to make her gasp.
“I’ll be there. Promise.” She giggled.
Renner leaned in, tugging her earlobe with his teeth. “You better,” he whispered. “Or I’ll come find you.”
“If you don’t stop, I have a feeling Mrs. Markel will be using you for story fodder. She’s watching us,” she whispered.
“She is?”
Bethany nodded.
“Better give her something story-worthy then.” Renner grabbed Bethany’s face, owning her mouth until a rough throat cleared. The sound was like rocks rubbing together, and something Renner recognized as trouble.
He looked up to find Magic glaring down at him.
“You’re feeling better, I see.”
“Magic. I was actually looking for you.”
His friend smirked. “Yes, in Bethany’s mouth. If I’m ever missing, that’s the first place people should look.”
“Ha. Ha.”
Magic’s gaze went to Bethany, and her blush caused him to smirk yet again. “Relax, Bethany. I’m sure your mouth is a wonderful place to hide out. I just usually choose my office instead.”
Yeah, that wasn’t helping. If it was possible, her blush went even deeper.
“Alright, let’s go talk this shit out.” Renner stood, and Magic strode out of the restaurant. “See you later, babe.”
In the office, Magic sat behind the desk, running his thumb along his bottom lip. It wasn’t a good sign, and what Renner had to say wasn’t good either. At least, not for the cats. Not for Magic.
“I’m going to mate her.” Better to just get it all out in the open. Fast and hard.
Magic didn’t seem surprised. “I know.”
“You know. That’s all you have to say?”
His friend’s eyes held a sadness that was hard to look at. “You’ll have to leave, Ren. You can’t stay here. Cut ties with Layna.”
A muscle in Renner’s jaw ticked. “Have you thought about what I said? About making our own way, making things different for our clan?”
Magic scrubbed a hand over his face. “Yes. I have, and it’ll never work.”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
“How could we be sure? What if we start out with good intentions and then end up hurting everyone we love? What if our ways, our nature, is just too much to keep a handle on?”
“We can’t be sure, M. It’s called a commitment. A dual mating. She chooses me, and I choose her. And then we stick to it. We never give up what we have. It’s the only way it works. Completely abolish the old ways. Sure, there’s no guarantee. When is there ever a guarantee attached to love? It’s a risk, but it’s got to be worth it. It’s got to be.”
“That’s what I don’t understand,” he whispered. “Why are you willing to risk her? We’ve watched our mothers suffer the loneliness of mating. And others. Why would you chance putting your woman through that?”
Renner sat forward in his chair. He had to make Magic understand. “Because I love her, Magic. She won’t be lonely because I never want to leave her side. Leaving as a kid almost killed me. I have her back now, and I’m never letting go. If I have to give up my family, my clan, you… I will. I will, because me and Bethy? We belong to each other. And that’s the most important thing in my life now.”
Magic shook his head, banged his fist on the table.
Renner waited. He’d been laid bare. If Magic wouldn’t see reason, then there was no place for Renner here.
“This will never work. The others will be angry.”
“Not when they see how it is. We can prove to them we’re different.”
“Does she know how you feel about her?”
“No. Not yet. But soon.”
“And if she doesn’t want this? Then what? Will you mark her?”
The thought of Bethy not wanting him was horrifying. “I won’t do anything to hurt her. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it. If she won’t have me, the mating is off.”
Magic stood and paced behind his desk.
“I’ll make you a deal. If… if Bethany agrees to the mate, if you explain it all, and she agrees to forever…” He locked his hands behind his head and took a deep breath, as if he was about to go over Niagara Falls. “Then we try it your way.”
Renner had to believe this would work. For the sake of his heart, and hers, and for the sake of the clan. They needed more than this life they were living. His sister, Magic, even Eagan. They needed love, and a family to call their own.
“Deal.”
Chapter 11
The Christmas celebration was a hit. The lodge was overrun by locals, and even Magic seemed a bit more jolly than normal. The live band they’d hired blared carols through several different speaker systems around the grounds, and at ten o’clock sharp their music would correspond with the light show Renner and Ryan had set up.
Bethany stood near the nativity, sipping hot chocolate in between her shifts as one of Santa’s elves and passing out cookies to the kids riding the toy train. Warm arms wrapped around her from behind, and Renner’s breath on her neck gave her a sense of rightness.
They’d grown so close over the past week and a half. Sometimes she thought she was crazy, going all in with a person who’d hurt her before. But when he looked at her like she not only hung the moon, but tamed it and rode it like a thoroughbred, she couldn’t help but feel like the risk was worth it. Not just worth it, but necessary.
And he’d gone above and beyond to show her how much he cared. To explain about his life. His mother and father, and how he’d ended up in foster care. To answer her every question.
The one question she hadn’t asked about was mating. Marking, he’d called it. She hadn’t wanted to jinx things. But now it was Christmas Eve and their time was running out. In another week, her contract with Magic would be over and she’d have to leave. The idea that all that ‘forever’ talk was just something said in the heat of passion left her feeling ill.
But then again, was she ready for a commitment like that? Forever was a long time.
“What’s wrong?” His words traveled into her ear mixing with the lyrics of the Christmas carols.
She turned in his arms and went up on her tip toes to kiss him. His mouth opened to hers and he tasted like chocolate. Decadent.
“Nothing’s wrong,” she breathed.
“What do you think?” he asked, gesturing to the decorations.
Her face split in a grin. “It’s beautiful.”
“Come with me. I want to show you something.”
Taking her hand, Renner led her down a path toward the back of the lodge. It grew darker the farther they walked away from the celebration. When the path continued into the woods, Renner pulled a flashlight from his jacket pocket and shined the beam ahead of them.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see. Just a little farther, babe.”
In the distance, she could see a faint flickering glow. It was broken by trees and rocks, but it gave her something to focus on in the darkness. As they walked, it got brighter and brighter until they were standing before a row of candles. The glimmering pillars lined the rock bed that surrounded a natural hot spring. It was one Beth hadn’t seen before. The steam billowed from the water making the area seem like it glowed.
Renner clicked the flashlight off and turned to face her. His look was so intense, she almost wanted to step back.
“What is this?”
He stepped close, pointing over her head. “Look. Up there.”
Beth peered into the branches of a tree above. “I don’t see it.”
“Right up there,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.
She looked again, squinting through the dark. It was…
She gasped when she saw it. “Mistletoe.” There, nestled into the crook of a branch, was a bundle of the kissing flower.
“The real kind,” he murmured. “Not the shit hanging in the lobby. Only the best for my mate.”
Mate.
He kissed her before she had a chance to ask for a clear definition. His mouth was hot and insistent, his lips urging hers open, his tongue delving inside. But they didn’t get too far before he broke away.
“We need to talk, Bethy. Set a few things straight. I want to do it tonight.”
Her stomach clenched with nerves, but she nodded. “Okay.”
“Our clan doesn’t mate. To live at the lodge, you have to follow a code of conduct. No life mates. The way of the mountain cats is brutal. When we mate, the male claims the female as his own and she is no longer free to be with any other. It’s a one-way monogamous relationship, leaving the male free to… roam. In return, the male protects her and their young. But when we came together here, our clan, we decided we didn’t want that. As a product of that kind of relationship, I chose to avoid it at all costs.”
Beth shivered and it wasn’t because of the cold. What he described sounded horrible.
Renner cradled her cheek. “I knew you were mine at twelve. You, with your round cheeks and sweet smile and kind hands. I knew, and I wanted to protect you from a future with me. So I sabotaged us. Made sure you’d hate me. I’m so sorry for that, Bethy. You’ll never know how much.”
That’s why. Why he’d torn her up over and over again. His reasons made some sense, but why was he telling her this now?
Her fingers gripped his shirt, curling into the flannel. Why did she feel like she needed to hold onto him tighter now than ever?
“But I want you. I want you as my mate, as my partner, as my lover and friend. I want you to give me young and I want to grow old with you and when the time comes, I want to die with you. Because I love you. Because I’ve thought about you everyday since leaving. And because I can’t imagine living the rest of my life here without you.”
Beth felt the tears prick her eyes. She’d thought about him too. The times he’d let her in haunted her as much as the times he’d hurt her. Maybe even more, because she knew he had love to give. And now, he declared it in such sweet words. It made her chest ache. This was what she’d only caught a glimpse of as a child. But she’d known even then, Renner’s heart was gold. Finally, he was giving it to her.
But… she couldn’t be what he wanted. Not if it meant she was the only one committed. The thought of him with anyone else tore her to shreds.
“Renner,” her voice broke and she had to try again. “You… you’d be with others?”
His eyes went wide. “No! That’s what I’m trying to say. I want something different with you. A dual mating. We each belong to the other. Faithful to each other for the rest of our lives.” He placed a gentle kiss to her lips. “You’re the only woman I want, Bethy.”
A sob blew past her throat. The relief those words brought was powerful. It was rewriting years of doubt and miles of wrongs.
Renner dropped to his knees before her.
“If we do this, it’s forever. We can’t undo it. Can you… do you love me? Will you choose me? Us?”
Her tears were falling in earnest now, but she had to calm down enough to tell him the truth. “I do, Renner. I always have. But I never thought we’d be here, now, making choices about our future. Thing is…” She wiped away the wetness and went down to her knees too. “I can’t see myself with anyone else. Or a future without you. I did that, and it was horrible. Coming here and finding you, had to be some kind of miracle. How could I possibly let that go?”
This was it. She was jumping off a cliff, and holding on to him the whole way down.
“I’m all in,” she whispered. “I want you, need you. And I’ll give you forever as long as you give me that too. I love you.”
The storm in his eyes raged. “Say it again, Bethy. I’ve waited a long time for those words.”
She leaned forward, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I love you.”
“Fuck,” he whispered. “That turns me on more than seeing you naked.”
He stood and helped her to her feet. She let him unzip her coat and remove her shoes. The cold air blasted her bare skin, but the anticipation of what they were doing pushed the chill away. The rest of their clothes came off quickly and Ren led her into the warm water of the spring.
The steam billowed around them as their bodies made contact beneath the pool. His hard planes against her soft curves seemed like the perfect fit. Renner’s lips started at her forehead and hit every spot on the way down until he stopped at the curve of her breasts. He grazed the area with his teeth.
“These are mine.”
He took her hand and entwining his fingers with hers, brought them to his lips. He sucked a finger into his mouth, twirling his tongue around the tip.
“These are mine.”
His other hand slid down her hips, squeezing the plump area she no longer tried to hide. Reaching around, he gripped her ass.
“This beautiful thing is mine.”
Beth panted at the sensation of his hands owning her body and his hardness pressed into her thigh. His palm swept around to her belly.
“Mine.”
And down between her legs, cupping her there.
“This, sweet Bethy, is fucking mine.”
He rubbed the heel of his hand against her mound until she felt like she was about to fly. Not yet.
Beth’s hand reached out to find him under the water. Gripping his hardness brought a hiss of pleasure from his lips. She rushed forward to kiss it away. “Mine,” she whispered.
His eyes dilated and changed from blue to panther green. “Always,” he huffed, his breath coming quicker. “I need inside you.”
Beth rose up and straddled his waist, bringing his erection to her opening. She kissed him deep and hard, and she could feel his struggle to hold back, to wait for her. Pulling back, she stared into his eyes as she lowered herself slowly onto him. He clenched his teeth and sweat broke out on his forehead.
“There,” she breathed. “Where you belong.”
He kissed her, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth. Beth began to move her hips, slowly at first, feeling his fullness inside and his hands outside. With each thrust, her breasts bounced at the top of the water. In and out, her nipples hot one second, ice cold the next. The sensation drove her crazy, and when Renner started thrusting beneath her, everything intensified. A grunt escaped his throat and she opened her eyes to find him staring at the tight tips dipping above and beneath the water.
“Faster,” he growled, and she obliged, swinging her hips. “God, Beth. You’re going to make this too quick.”
She moaned in response. The flickering candle light glowing against the steam, the sight of Renner losing his mind because of her, the knowledge that they were making this permanent… it was all too much. So when his hand came between them, pushing on her clit while she thrust, Bethany blew apart. Like glitter being tossed in the air, she went high, and then floated back to the ground.
But Renner kept up the movement and within seconds, she was wound tight again.
“This time,” he said, through clenched teeth, “I mark you. A claw to your back, it will leave a small scar.” He stopped moving. “God, I’m going to come. Be still.” She tried but the urge to move was almost unbearable. Breathing deep, she nodded. “When I come inside you, it will mark you with my scent. The cats will know you’re mine.”
“And how will they know you’re mine?”
“By my actions. And I plan on doing this a million more times, so your scent will be all over me too. They’ll know, sweet, because you’ve marked my heart.”
She kissed him, tasting the truth on his lips.
“Are you ready, Bethy?”
“So ready.”
He pushed into her again, hard and fast and delicious. She felt the build, the climb, she was on the verge once again. Renner pulled her close, his nails digging into her shoulder. The bite of his grip was sharp, but pleasurable. With his other hand, he gripped her ass, grinding his hips into hers.
She erupted with a scream of pleasure that broke the blackness of the night sky. She saw flashes of color between one blink and the next, and then Renner followed her over the ledge, groaning as he released into her.
A sharp swipe at her back had her gasping, but his insistent pounding between her legs distracted her, bringing her to the top once again. She cried out with her third orgasm, trembling above him like a newborn bird.
“Renner.”
She collapsed onto his chest, drained and more sated than she could have imagined. His chest heaved as he pet her hair.
“Do you remember my twelfth birthday? Mama R made a chocolate cake because she knew it was my favorite.”
“Mm hm.”
“I blew out all the candles with one breath, and made a wish that one day I’d be able to do right by you. To stop hurting you and just love you. I thought leaving, loving you from afar, was an answer to that wish, but I was wrong.” He kissed her head. “Wish came true tonight.”
Tiny bites of cold landed on Beth’s arm, and she realized it was snowing. The white stuff sprinkled around them like a blessing on their union.
“I made a wish that day too.” She glanced up at him, sheepish. “I wished you’d cry more, because then you’d let me lay in your bed and pet your head.”
Laughter bubbled from his chest, warming her. He dropped a kiss to her nose. “You can lay in my bed and pet me anytime you want. And you don’t even have to wait for me to cry.”
Beth grinned. “Wish come true.”
“Hold on, babe, because we have an entire lifetime to make each other’s wishes come true. And I plan on making lots and lots and lots of wishes with you. Wishes in the morning, and before we go to bed. Shower wishes, and outdoor wishes, and wishes against the wall. You up for that?”
Alphas for the Holidays Page 30
