BRAKING HARD To Load

by Bloom, Cassandra

  Logic and the past rantings of every Health Class teacher I’d ever sat in front of chastised me instantly for the thought.

  “All it takes is once!”

  Wasn’t that what they said?

  I frowned, trying to think of when I’d taken my last dose of birth control and suddenly my stomach began to cramp. I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering if I was pregnant. What then? How would Jace react? With everything going on with the Crows and taking down Papa Raven and the Carrion Crew, this couldn’t be a worse time.

  What now?

  I keeled forward, trying to fight the growing nerves that didn’t seem to be clearing up anytime soon. I squeezed my eyes shut, finally calming down enough to get it together. I stood up and began to dress, deciding that I would call Candy and see exactly what to do next. She would have an answer to my dilemma, right?

  ****

  “You are SO preggers!” Candy said (more squealed) as we sat in the small waiting room of the local Planned Parenthood.

  “We don’t know that yet,” I said as I shook my head at her odd excitement.

  After I called her, she had nearly screamed at me over the phone to “pick her ass up” and get over the Planned Parenthood near her. After I tried to calm her down and told her that it might be too early to assume anything, she had quickly did the math for me, proving that it, in fact, wasn’t too early and just the right time for the symptoms to begin. Deciding that she was probably right, I agreed and that’s how we got here.

  I wasn’t expecting Candy to be as excited as she was, honestly. With everything going on, was a baby really the smartest move? I wasn’t sure I wanted to bring a baby into this kind of life of danger and what if Jace didn’t survive this?

  No! Stop that kind of thinking, Mia!

  “Get your head outta those clouds right now, Missy!” Candy said, seeming to understand exactly what I was thinking without me having to say anything.

  “But, Candy, do you really think this is a good idea?” I asked, pleading with her to understand my thoughts.

  “This is exactly what we all need right now, Mia, including you,” she said as she placed her hands to my still flat stomach. “A baby brings people together. The Crows are fighting to stay together and a child? Well, that’s something worth staying together for, right?”

  “Something worth fighting for,” I said absently and glanced down at my stomach.

  The door to the office opened, jarring me from my thoughts and I glanced up as my name was called. I stepped inside with Candy at my heels. A part of me was suddenly hopeful. A part of me desperately wanted me to be pregnant. I sat down, awaiting the results from the urine test and took a deep breath.

  ****

  The ringing from Candy’s excited squeals was still thrumming through my ears as I drove us towards Danny’s place. The Crows had decided to meet there and after a quick phone call, we’d decided to join them. I was desperate to see Jace again, desperate to tell him the news that I’d nearly screamed it on the phone earlier. Candy had luckily slid the phone from my grip and finalized where to meet. I had agreed that I wanted to do this right.

  As we got to Danny’s, I parked in front and slid out of the car, heading towards the door. I watched as Jace opened the door, laughing at something someone said from inside and I smiled. I was glad to see that both Jace and the others were able to laugh still. As I stepped forward, he smiled and took me in his arms.

  “Someone seems happy,” I said, returning his smile back.

  “We’ve got this, Mia,” he said. “I think we’re finally gonna be able to both stop Papa Raven. Rebuilding won’t be an issue.”

  “Oh? How do you plan to stop him?” I asked as unease began to fill me.

  It couldn’t be that easy, right?

  Something must be up, right?

  “Well, before the bomb went off, that douche gave me this,” he said as he slid a small sheet of paper out of his pocket. “This is when Papa Raven wants to meet and where.”

  “It also says alone,” I said as I read over what the paper said.

  “Yeah,” he said and rubbed the back of his neck. “Danny said we’ll figure that part out, okay? C’mon, Mia! Be happy! This bullshit will finally be over.”

  “Is it really that easy?” I asked and glanced up at him.

  “What’s wrong, Mia?”

  “Can we go home?” I asked as a sudden jolt of anxiety took over.

  “Sure, let me tell Danny,” he said.

  I hated the sudden look of terror on his face after how happy he’d been. I didn’t want to ruin this for him, but I couldn’t believe it’d be as easy as he was making it. Candy stepped up next to me and I glanced over.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  I knew I didn’t have much time so I gave her the cliff notes version. She nodded, seeming both to understand and agree with my feelings. I glanced back, seeing Jace stepping out with Danny behind him.

  “Ya want me to watch yer car fer the time being?” he asked.

  “If you wouldn’t mind,” I nodded, thinking it was best that I didn’t drive right now.

  He agreed and Candy said she’d get a ride later with Danny. After a quick exchange of “see ya laters”, Jace took me to his bike. I slid on behind him, afraid to speak right then. I didn’t want him worried, but I still wasn’t sure we could trust this whole Papa Raven meet-up business.

  ****

  The drive back didn’t take long and I was thankful to be back home again. I slid onto the couch next to Jace and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I leaned against him, still unsure what to say. Apparently, I didn’t have to.

  “Mia, I’ll be careful,” he said and squeezed me against him. “Plus, I’m sure Danny has something planned.”

  “You really think this will be it?” I asked as I pulled away from him enough to be able to look him in the face.

  “I don’t think it will be easy, but yeah, I think this is it. Papa Raven is obviously done playing games and I’m glad for that. I want this to be finished too and I don’t plan to back down without a fight,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. “If I don’t fight, who knows how many more lives will be lost.”

  “I know no matter what I say, you won’t not fight so I won’t try,” I said as I sighed in resignation. “But you need to know one thing…”

  “What’s that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “You aren’t coming back just to me,” I said as I looked at him, wondering if he’d understand that.

  “Well, no, I mean, I’m coming back for the Crows, for Danny, for…” he began and then stopped, glancing back over at me. “Mia? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

  “Well, it’s more like I didn’t know not to tell,” I said, rubbing the back of my own neck. “I… I found out that I’m pregnant today.”

  Jace just stared, a look of both shock and awe across his face. I was glad to see no anger or disgust. I glanced back at him, wondering just exactly what he was thinking. Before I could open my mouth to speak, a smile spread across his face that I’d never seen before and he wrapped me in his arms tightly.

  “I’m going to be a father?” he said against my neck.

  “As long as you come back, yes, you will be a father,” I said, not wanting to drop that subject quite yet.

  “I will, Mia,” he said as he pulled away to look me in the eye. “I promise I will come back. For you, for our baby, for our family. And we’ll move to a house! On the beach.”

  “Wow, someone’s excited,” I said, not bothering to hide my own happiness.

  “I’ve got another shot at a family and I promise I won’t fuck it up this time!” he said, smiling happily and lifted me in his arms.

  I smiled, laughing as he swung me in his arms and I held him tightly. We both stayed like that for a moment and I couldn’t hide how happy I was at his response. I snuggled more against him, enjoying the feel of his body against mine. Now that things had settled, I realized I sud
denly needed him, needing his touch.

  “Jace,” I began and he pulled me tighter against him.

  I didn’t need to say more…

  “I need you so bad, Jace!” I said.

  “I need this too,” he agreed.

  I shivered as he carried me towards the bed. I wiggled out of his grip long enough to slide my clothes off and I moved back to the bed and looked up at him, begging him to touch me. He didn’t seem to need any more convincing as he began to kiss down my chin, moving towards my heaving breasts. I arched up even more, begging for him to touch me. He did. He began to paw at one of my breasts as his mouth came down on the other, suckling my nipple in deeply. I shivered, loving the feel as his hand squeezed and pulled at my other nipple.

  Fuck! This felt so good!

  “Oh! You feel so good, Jace!” I said as I moaned at another squeeze from him.

  “Mm! You taste amazing,” he said as he groaned.

  He smirked at that and then I watched as he moved down to my pussy. I opened my legs wide for him. He kept one hand on my breast as he dived into my pussy, beginning to lap and suck at my clit. He used his free hand to slide two fingers inside me. I shivered, loving the feel of him inside me.

  “Mm! You taste so fucking good!” he said, growling in pleasure.

  “Oh! Wow! You are a beast today!” I said, wondering if this was due to the news.

  I grinned and arched back as Jace continued to feast on my pussy. I gasped, feeling myself getting close and knew I was about to come. I wasn’t surprised at this point at how quick Jace could make me come, but it was still super intense.

  “OH! I’m gonna cum!” I said as I gasped in pleasure.

  “Do it! Come on my mouth,” he said, only pausing briefly to do so.

  I cried out as my first orgasm slammed over me like a huge wave and I undulated under his mouth. I could feel myself losing control, feeling myself grow wild with lust. I wondered if things had changed because of the pregnancy, I certainly felt closer to him for this.

  “MM! I need to be inside you!” he said as he slid out of his pants and moved back.

  “Not before I taste you!” I said as I pulled away from him.

  I grinned at the mixture of desire to be inside me and lust from being in my mouth and I pushed him back on the bed, moving on top of him. After swapping our positions, I kissed down his chest, nipping at his nipples as I did. As I continued to move lower, I watched as he breathed heavily at the sight. Moments later, my mouth was wrapped around his cock. I shivered, loving the taste as I began to suck his shaft deep and hard.

  “OH! So good!” he said, groaning and moved his hands to my head to guide me further down.

  I eagerly took more, running my tongue all over him as I continued to suck him deep. Before long, I could tell he was getting close but I didn’t want him to finish in my mouth, didn’t want this to end early. I moved off of him and watched him shiver at the suddenness of my movement and I knew he needed to be inside me.

  “Ready?” I said, panting heavily.

  “Yes! So fucking ready!” he said, arching up and thrusting his hips up.

  We were both lost. Crazy in desire, I slid over him, slamming him home. I moaned at just how right it felt inside me, he filled me perfectly. I moaned, arching back and began to ride him hard. He groaned, moving his hands to my hips as he began to thrust forward as well.

  Fuck! It felt so good!

  I cried out as he began to slam his cock deep inside me. I continued to ride him, loving the feel of both power and control I got from being on top. I leaned down, capturing Jace’s lips in mine and began to kiss him passionately. Jace squeezed my hips as he began to slam inside me HARD and even though I was riding him, I suddenly felt completely under his control. He didn’t stop and I cried out in pleasure, shivering from the sudden change in power, change in control.

  “OH! I’m close again!” I said as I cried out in ecstasy.

  “Fuck! Me too,” he said against my lips.

  I smirked at the sight and shivered, pushing back to ride his cock as he continued to piston his dick deep inside me. Once again, my orgasm just slammed over me, all my senses on high alert as I creamed against him. He groaned, arching back as he continued to also slam inside me and I could feel him begin to throb inside me.

  “Fuck! Here I go,” he said, crying out in pleasure.

  “I’m coming so fucking hard!” I said, arching my head back in pleasure.

  We both lost ourselves in our orgasm and I pulled back from his lips, arching my back as I continued to be lost in the sensation. After a few more moments of bliss, we both began to come back from our release and I fell onto his chest, working to catch my breath. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close against him.

  “That was incredible,” he said, pressing his lips against my forehead.

  “It was,” I said as I smiled. “I love you, Jace.”

  “I love you too,” he said and rolled next to me so we could face each other. “Will you marry me, Mia? I know this isn’t exactly the fanciest of proposals and I promise to get you an engagement ring after all thi—”

  “Yes! Of course I’ll marry you!” I said, stopping him in his rambling.

  He smiled at that and leaned down, kissing me again. At that moment, everything was perfect and I silently prayed that nothing would change this feeling.

  FIFTEEN

  ~JACE~

  The irony wasn’t lost on me, but that didn’t make me happy about it. It occurred to me that, when it came to ironic circumstances, the person the irony befell was rarely in a position to enjoy it. Irony, it seemed, was only entertaining to everybody else. Begrudgingly, I accepted that, throughout my life, I had been the butt-end of what was beginning to feel like a cosmic series of ironic twists and turns. If somebody were to step out of the proverbial mist—perhaps donned in a heavy cloak and speaking in riddles or, like Yoda, some sort of inverted form of otherwise simple phrasing—and tell me that my life was actually some fucked-up television program, that everything and anything that happened to me was staged for the entertainment of others, I wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised. I’d be pissed off—oh yes!—but in no way surprised.

  It was with this in mind—this sense of “I’m really not surprised”—that I sat atop one of my very first motorcycles.

  The bucket of bolts that started it all, I thought.

  And wasn’t that just a painful irony in and of itself?

  Except now, instead of racing (or trying to race) on the damn thing to try and get to the pregnant woman I loved, I was using it to race away from the pregnant woman I loved.

  I followed up my cynical thought with a new one: Irony, you’re a cold-hearted bitch.

  Truer words had never been spoken… or, in this case, thought.

  “No following me this time,” I called back to Mia, who was frowning and already looking jittery.

  Danny, who’d already been standing so close beside her that I’d have normally been unsettled were it not for his constant reminder that he didn’t like girls, answered by hooking a massive arm around her back and hooking his hands around her shoulder.

  Good luck getting away from that.

  Mia’s frown deepened, turning into an all-out sneer. “Like I have a choice,” she shot, nodding down towards Danny’s hand.

  Danny responded by tightening his grip. It wasn’t enough to hurt her. I didn’t need to see it to know—though I could see it—because, even with the constant reminder that he didn’t like girls, I knew that he’d protect her with every bit the same amount of passion and determination as if she was his girl.

  “Better than the alternative,” I said, offering what I hoped to be a sincere-looking expression of both compassion and sternness.

  Not the easiest combination to convey.

  I’m sure it looked more like I was working to simultaneously hold back a puke-storm and a sobbing fit. This, of course, would be because I was also working to simultaneously hold ba
ck a puke-storm and a sobbing fit.

  The life of a biker gang leader: super glamorous.

  Or was this the precursor to the life of a family man?

  Shit…

  “Is the alternative watching you ride off to your death?” Mia challenged, then, glaring at Danny, she demanded, “Are you seriously going to let him ride off to do this?”

  Danny frowned, gave me a look—that all-too-well trained Danny look that practically screamed “I’d tell ya, but ya won’t listen, anyhow”—but said nothing.

  “This is the only option that might not lead to all of us dying,” I explained to her, not wanting to also point out that I was stalling for time while my nerves calmed and my body reacquainted itself with this dinosaur of a motorcycle.

  How had I ever managed to do anything on this thing?

  It felt like I was straddling a toy powered by a dying lawnmower engine…

  Sounded like it, too.

  Shit…

  “MIGHT?” Mia almost screamed the word back to me, and I watched her struggle to shake Danny’s hand off of her; watched her struggle to pull free and close the distance between us.

  I wasn’t sure what she’d do if she did.

  Would she hit me, try to beat some sort of alternative into my brain?

  Would she hug me, try to lure me away from certain doom with a warm embrace?

  Or would she climb onto the back of the bike, throw her arms around my waist and insist we do this together, and either use the guilt of such a thing to make me abandon the effort or succumb to the demand and actually take her with me.

  The possibilities were as limitless as they were nightmare-inducing.

  Fortunately for me, Mia’s struggles were in vain. Danny’s grip held. Moreso, still using only one arm to hold her in place, the rest of him looked outright bored.

  Now his face seemed to say, “You’re stalling for time.”

  Or maybe that’s just what I thought it seemed to say. After all, I was stalling for time.

  “‘Might’ is better than—” I started to say.