All I Want for Christmas Is a Cowboy

by Jessica Clare

  No. She didn’t want to hear excuses or apologies. She wanted a better kiss than that. Cass grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back down. That was too short of a kiss and she needed it to be longer, more thorough, before she was going to let him yell at her more. A nice, toe-curling kiss would make everything better.

  So she kissed him before he could continue speaking, and hers wasn’t a light flutter of lips or the hard, fierce claiming that his was. She attacked him with methodical strategy. First, she bit the plump edge of his lower lip, because she’d been wanting to do that for ages, and it should have been sinful for a grumpy cowboy to have such a full, kissable mouth. She heard his quick intake of breath, and that only encouraged her to keep going. With a little lick of her tongue against his lips, she coaxed his mouth to part, and then her tongue brushed against his. Then, she wasn’t kissing him—and he wasn’t kissing her.

  It was a mutual kissing, and it was glorious.

  His arms went around her, holding her so tight against him that her bruised ribs protested, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was the hot, wet heat of his mouth on hers, and the way he tasted. She loved it, loved the sensual drag of his tongue against her own, loved the way he knew how to kiss her just enough to make her pulse throb between her thighs. She’d dated both good and bad kissers in the past, but Eli put them all to shame. Within moments, she was breathless and shaking with need. When his mouth pulled away from hers so they could both catch their breath, he pressed his forehead to hers, his hands tight on her waist.

  “Shouldn’t have done that,” he rasped, panting.

  “Why not?” She sounded equally breathless. “I’ve been wanting you to do that for days now.”

  He groaned, closing his eyes. “Cass . . .”

  “Eli,” she teased, her gloved hand sliding up and down his arm. He wasn’t wearing his coat, which told her he’d been in the barn for a while. Probably was out there the entire time she was wandering in the snow at the edge of the herd, looking for his lifeless body. Didn’t matter. He was here and kissing her and that was all that mattered.

  “Been telling myself not to touch you,” he murmured, and his nose rubbed against hers. There was a small twinge of pain because she was still bruised, but she didn’t care. None of it mattered except the way he felt against her right now, and how close his mouth was to hers. She wanted another kiss. She wanted dozens of them.

  “Why?” she breathed. “Why not touch me?”

  “Wasn’t right,” he told her. “You’re here stuck with me, alone and vulnerable. Doesn’t seem right for me to take advantage of you.” He pulled away again, gazing down at her with the sexiest hooded eyes. “You—”

  She grabbed his collar and put her mouth on his again, kissing him fiercely. Cass swept her tongue into his mouth and then he groaned, clenching her tight against him. God, she loved the sound he made when she kissed him. It made her body do all kinds of crazy little shivers. Of course, she was doing most of the kissing, but she didn’t mind that.

  He gave her mouth a little lick when they pulled apart again, and Cass gasped at how good that felt. It sent a quiver right down to her thighs. “You keep interrupting me,” he told her.

  “You keep saying silly things.” Now she was the one staring at his mouth. But really, it was just too delicious not to stare at. His lips had darkened slightly in color and were shiny from their kissing, and she wanted to taste them again.

  “I’m being serious, Cass. I’m not tryin’ to molest you—”

  “Molest me?” She pulled back from him slightly, frowning up at his face. “Why on earth would you think that?”

  “Because you’re a woman alone? Because you don’t have your memories?” He flicked a hand back against his cowboy hat, and she realized it was in danger of falling off his head, and he didn’t seem to care. He was more interested in frowning down at her. “I shouldn’t be touching you.”

  “I don’t know if you noticed,” Cass said, “but I’m really, really into being touched. I like you, Eli. I want you. Can’t we just enjoy this?” She leaned in and lightly kissed his mouth again. “And this?” She nipped at his lower lip. “And this?” She slid a hand down the front of his chest, and headed toward his belt.

  He grabbed her gloved hand in his. “I want to make sure it’s what you want.”

  Good lord. “Do I need to start doing smoke signals? Morse code? What’s it going to take to convince you?”

  Eli frowned down at her, and she realized he was still clutching her waist, and her breasts were pushed up against his chest. Oh man, it took everything she had not to rub up against him like a cat in heat. She wanted to, though. Boy, did she want to.

  When he remained silent, she continued. “I guess I’ll just have to keep kissing you until you give in.” Her hand was still on the back of his neck, so she reached up and took his hat off his head and tossed it to the floor of the barn. “Get ready, because you’re about to be thoroughly kissed.”

  He gave his head a little shake, as if unable to believe how she was acting, and then hauled her against him again. This time, he was the aggressor, his kiss full of all the pent-up passion and need that she’d been feeling for days. All those little sparks between them? It hadn’t been in her imagination. She moaned against his lips as his tongue slicked against hers and sent a bolt of longing straight between her thighs. Oh god, yes. Now that was the kind of kiss she was looking for.

  Eli groaned, too. “You make the sexiest damn noises,” he told her between frantic presses of his mouth to hers.

  “Okay,” she breathed. She was barely aware of him pulling her along with him, their bodies stumbling together as he guided them farther back into the barn. Where they were going, she had no idea. If he flung her down in the snow, she doubted she’d notice at this point.

  “‘Okay’? That’s all you have to say?”

  “Should I have moaned again?”

  “Hell yeah,” he growled, and then he was kissing her again. She was lost in the moment, her arms tight around his neck, and she was pretty sure she was seconds away from straddling his thigh and rubbing up against him. The sound of a stall door rolling back made her jump, but Eli’s arm remained locked around her waist, and a moment later, they were tumbling into fresh straw in one of the empty stalls. Then she was under him and he was over her, gazing down at her with heated eyes full of need.

  And oh, this was so much better than standing up and kissing. Being under him was an entirely new set of sensations and she locked one leg around his hips, pulling him down against her.

  “I’m getting saddle oil all over your clothes.”

  “Don’t care,” she panted. “Kiss me again.”

  “I’m gonna get it in your hair, too,” he warned even as he leaned in, but she still didn’t care, because that sexy growl was back in his voice.

  “Go for it.” She raised a glove to her mouth and bit one finger, pulling it off because she wanted to feel him, and all these layers weren’t giving her anything.

  Eli made another one of those low noises in his throat, and then his mouth was on hers again, hot and divine. She moaned as his tongue moved against hers, and she couldn’t stop her hips from lifting up against his in an age-old motion. He groaned and then his hands were in her hair, pushing off her knitted cap and tangling in her curls. There was a strange scent to his touch—saddle oil, he’d said—but she didn’t care. It smelled like leather and Eli, and his mouth was on hers and that was all that mattered. A moment later, his hips were resting between her thighs and she felt the hard press of his length against her sex.

  Oh yes. She whimpered, because that was what she wanted. She wanted Eli like this, with his lips on hers, his hands in her hair and his body over her. It felt better than she’d ever imagined.

  He kissed her one more time, soft and sweet, and then gazed down at her face. “We shouldn’t do this here.
”

  “We shouldn’t?” Disappointment crept into her voice.

  “It’s cold, and you’re injured.”

  “Still don’t care.”

  “I do.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I care a lot.”

  “Oh. Well, all right.” Hearing that took the edge off.

  Eli leaned in and kissed her one more time, as if he couldn’t help himself. “And I’m covered in saddle oil anyhow.”

  “Me too.” She didn’t move.

  He grinned down at her—a large, pleased grin that creased his tanned face and made him go from handsome to breathtakingly gorgeous. Oh lord have mercy on her, because she was lost when he smiled like that. Cass had to bite back the moan that was rising from her throat. “You sure we can’t stay?”

  “Only if you want frostbite on your pretty ass . . . and mine.”

  Well, as long as he acknowledged it was pretty. Cass wasn’t sure she agreed with that, but when he got off of her in the next moment and offered her his hands, she let him help her up. He batted stray hay out of her hair and then handed her back her knitted cap, and she noticed that he was right—her hair had that weird smelling oil in it.

  He pulled her close again, and for a wild, heart-thumping moment, she hoped he was going to toss her into the hay and give her the tumble she was begging for. The look on his face was so intense she held her breath. Then he groaned and pressed his forehead to hers. “Go inside before I do something I regret.”

  “I won’t regret it,” she said eagerly.

  “Cass,” he warned.

  “All right.” She was reluctant to leave, but it was clear he was going to wait for her to go. She wanted to stay and keep talking to him, but then she remembered what he’d said about doing the work of four people and felt guilty. “I’ll go inside. I made sandwiches, by the way. Can’t injure myself with a butter knife.”

  “I’m thinking if it’s possible, you could,” he told her in a teasing voice, then put a hand to the back of her neck and pulled her in for another fierce kiss that left her dazed and wanting more. “Don’t wait up.”

  “Okay,” she told him breathlessly. “I’ll just go in and . . . shower.” She hoped he’d take her up on that and join her.

  His eyes gleamed with interest, but all he did was nod.

  Drat.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Eli remained inside the barn for a while. It wasn’t that working on the saddles was so very pressing. It was that he wanted time to sort through his thoughts. Much easier to do it with something to occupy his hands and let his thoughts work through everything that was going on. It helped that Cass was safely tucked away in the house, because when she was near him, he found it too distracting to do much other than gaze at her like some starry-eyed fool.

  Couldn’t help it, though. He wanted her like he’d never wanted anyone before in his life.

  He rubbed oil into the last saddle for the night, thinking hard. They shouldn’t have kissed. He knew that. Likely she knew that, too. It was a bad kind of situation and bad timing. She was still recovering from her knock on the head. She didn’t have her memories. She was beholden to him at the ranch because she was trapped here. It shouldn’t have happened, but it seemed like they couldn’t stay apart from each other. He hadn’t meant to give her that first angry kiss. Instead of slapping him, she’d grabbed him by the collar and kissed him back so fiercely that it shocked him.

  It also aroused him. There was something so fascinating about Cass. She was sweet and wanted so much to be helpful, even if she was terrible at it. She was a constant optimist, and she loved simple things—the dogs, music, the holidays. But she also had a fiercely determined side, and he’d seen that when she’d snagged his collar and hauled him forward to plant her mouth on his.

  She didn’t like taking no for an answer.

  Eli liked that a lot.

  He knew she didn’t have her memories. He was all too aware of that. She seemed to recall lots of bits and pieces about who she was as a person and her past, but when she tried to think about her current situation, it was a blank. He knew it was wrong to get involved with her, especially when she was in a situation like this. It was a bad idea.

  But he was starting not to care.

  If she liked him, and he liked her, and they took things slow . . . did it matter if she didn’t have all her memories? As long as he was respectful of her and her boundaries, did he care if she didn’t recall what her job was or where she lived?

  More than that, was it wrong for him to fantasize that she’d never get those memories back? Eli knew it was. He knew that she hated the missing parts of her mind, and he knew that she was desperate to get those pieces back. What happened when she did, though? Would she immediately pack up and leave? Would he never hear from her again once she realized just who she was? The thought was like a punch in the gut.

  So yeah, sometimes he dreamed that she wouldn’t get those parts of her back. That she’d decide to remain at the ranch. That she’d give ranch life a shot, and maybe life with him a shot. It’d be crowded to squeeze another person in at Price Ranch, because it wasn’t a big house and there wasn’t really a job for another person. But he could marry Cass. Give her his last name instead of her forever wondering what her own was. He doubted the boss would mind. Mr. Price lived down in Texas and had millions upon millions of dollars. Hadn’t he just got married and had a baby himself? He’d know what it was like to want your woman at your side.

  And Eli wanted Cass at his side. Forever. Didn’t matter that he’d only known her a week. When you fell into something that felt right, you didn’t question things. He’d known after a week of ranching that this was the life for him. Of course he’d know how he felt about Cass after a few days. It made sense.

  But it still felt a little wrong to hope for such things. To hope that she’d never get her memory back, because then it meant she’d stay with him. He couldn’t help thinking it, though. He’d never felt so strongly about anyone before. He thought that life with someone at his side was just a fantasy.

  Maybe it was real, and maybe it could be for him after all. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be alone forever.

  Maybe, for once, someone would love him enough to stay.

  * * *

  • • •

  The next morning, he woke up earlier than usual. There was a lot to do around the ranch, and he wanted to make sure that he got everything done and still had time to spend with Cass. He knew she wouldn’t understand the heavy load of chores as much as someone who lived on a ranch constantly, so he made a quick breakfast of bacon and eggs, left a portion for her, and even wrote a note explaining that he wouldn’t be in for lunch but he’d be back for dinner.

  Felt weird to check in with someone. Eli realized that he’d been a little selfish with his time, too. Sure there was a lot to be done, but Cass didn’t know how life on the ranch worked or the long days involved. He should have told her more about when to expect him back, and when to expect not to see him. He should have made more of an effort to spend time with her instead of avoiding her. Of course, he’d been avoiding her simply because he was far too attracted to her.

  That kiss had changed everything, though. Now it made him race through his tasks for the day instead of lingering over them. He fed the horses and mucked stalls. He caked the cows and drove the spooler out into the pasture so he could start haying the cattle. The snow had stopped for now, and the weak winter sunlight was making everything bright and cheerful.

  He didn’t like it. Every day that it snowed was another day he got with Cass. Eli found himself wishing for nothing but storms for the next month. Hell, he’d take them for the next year if it’d keep her at his side. Wasn’t practical, but he was quickly learning to appreciate less practical ideas in his head if they involved Cass and more kisses. When he was out in the pastures, he’d caught a glimpse of her tending to the
chickens, and he’d raised a gloved hand to let her know he saw her. She waved back, and even though it was silly, it felt warm just to have that small greeting.

  By the time the sun was creeping behind the mountains once more, Eli had finished the chores for the day. The cattle were doing well and eating heavily to make up for the cold, but they looked healthy. He took the saddle off his horse, brushed it down, and gave it fresh food and water before he headed through the barn, breaking ice on the other water troughs and adding warm water for the night before heading in.

  He was going to get an entire evening with Cass, and he was looking forward to it. All day, he’d had visions of curling up by the fire with her, his arm around her shoulders, her slight figure snuggled under his arm. He had to admit the thought had a lot of damn appeal. Maybe she’d be hungry for more kisses. He knew he was.

  Of course, the moment he stepped into the mudroom and stamped the snow off his boots, the phone in the kitchen rang. Uh-oh. That’d most likely be Doc Parsons or Maria, and he didn’t feel like talking to either one at the moment. They were sure to have prying questions about Cass.

  Before he could call out to let it ring, he heard Cass pick up the phone. “Hello? Price Farm.”

  “Ranch,” he muttered under his breath. “It’s a damn ranch.” She still hadn’t figured out the difference or realized that it was an insult to any good rancher to call him a farmer.

  There was a pause, and then Cass spoke again. “It’s nice to speak to you. I’m Cass.” She laughed. “I guess that was obvious.” Pause. “Mmhmm. Merry Christmas to you, too. No, no puppies yet. Eli? He’s in the mudroom. He was just coming inside when you called. He—what? Oh no, he’s been a perfect gentleman.” Then there was another pause and Cass laughed again.

  He hurriedly stripped off his snowy layers, not liking the idea of Cass getting grilled by Doc or Maria. Both were far too nosy for their own good. When he was in his bare socks and down to his regular clothes, he hurried out of the mudroom and into the kitchen, only to see Cass with her eyes wide, the phone held to her ear as the other person talked. Her cheeks were slightly pink, and he couldn’t help but notice that the bruises and swelling were almost entirely gone today, and she looked prettier than ever. He should tell her that, too. But . . . not right now.