Chronicles of a Royal Pet- Heroes Collide

by Ian Rodgers

  SO, WOULD I TASTE LIKE A HUMAN OR AN ORC IF A MONSTER ATE ME? Dora mused, and Gaelin choked on his food as he read her question.

  HOW MORBID, I stated, disturbed by her words. She just shrugged.

  IT WAS JUST A QUESTION!

  WOMEN ARE ALL CRAZY! Gaelin scratched out on the floor once he recovered from his choking fit.

  AGREED, I said, and Dora pouted.

  DOES THAT MEAN YOU THINK PRINCESS LILIANA IS CRAZY TOO? The half-orc inquired, and Gaelin perked up and looked at us curiously at the question literally hanging in the air.

  OF COURSE SHE IS! I LOVE HER LIKE A SISTER, BUT THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT SHE CHOOSE ME, AN OOZE, AS A PET! I replied, jiggling with amusement.

  WAIT, HANG ON, WHICH PRINCESS LILIANA ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Gaelin asked us, hastily scribbling his words out upon the wall behind him.

  LILIANA AUGUSTINE ROAN OF VARIA, Dora and I replied at the same time. The currently helmetless halberdier stared at us like we were crazy. To be fair, my story was a wild one.

  EXPLAIN.

  So, we did! Or, more accurately, I did, telling my new friend and companion all about how I’d originally been bought from a pet store, given a soul, and through wacky adventures and hijinks, ended up here in the Aether as a Royal Ooze. Dora just chimed in every so often, usually to make remarks about how strange it was that I was willing to act like a pet even after gaining sapience.

  AND I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS WEIRD! Gaelin wrote out, impressed by my tale. COMPARED TO YOURS, THOUGH, MINE ISN’T EVEN WORTHY OF BEING CALLED A BEST SELLER!

  TRUE, BUT YOUR TALE IS ACTUALLY KNOWN, I replied. I CAN’T LET PEOPLE FIND OUT ABOUT MY TRUE ORIGINS SO EASILY.

  THEY’LL HAVE TO GET OVER IT EVENTUALLY, Dora claimed. AFTER ALL, WE’RE A MOTLEY BAND OF CHOSEN ONES. I MEAN, WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO? NOT LET US SAVE THEM?

  YOU RAISE A GOOD POINT, I signed at her. She puffed up with importance.

  OF COURSE I DO. I’M THE COMMON SENSE OF THIS GROUP, she declared proudly. Gaelin and I both snorted wordlessly.

  WHOA, THERE! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE MORE COMMON SENSE THAN I DO? Gaelin retorted, folding his arms with a frown.

  WELL, TO BE FAIR, I DON’T KNOW YOUR STORY YET, Dora admitted, nodding in acknowledgement of Gaelin’s protest. BUT, I DO KNOW THIS SQUISHY GUY’S TALE, AND SPENT TIME WITH HIM. I KNOW FOR A FACT HE LACKS COMMON SENSE. WHO LIKES BEING A PET AND TRANSFORMS INTO A HORSE-SHAPED THING WHEN HE COULD FLATTEN OUT?

  I raised a tendril to protest, but found she was right. I could have taken a different form when I was flying through the Elemental Plane of Light.

  ‘Why did I decide to look like a horse in the first place?’ I wondered to myself.

  Seeing me defeated by her words, Dora nodded victoriously before returning her attention to Gaelin.

  AS FOR YOU… YOU’RE WEARING BERSERKER ARMOR. ENOUGH SAID.

  Just like me, Gaelin raised a limb trying to refute her words, but paused. After all, how many people willingly put on cursed armor? Even if it had been necessary?

  POINT, he said with a pout. FINE, YOU GET THE COVETED ROLE OF COMMON SENSE LADY.

  He then smirked. BUT THAT MEANS YOU’VE GOT YOUR HANDS FULL WITH THE TWO OF US.

  Dora growled at him and shook a fist at him. He scooted back, but his smug expression was still on his face.

  I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN I COULDN’T SEE YOUR FACE, she decided with a silent ‘hmph!’

  THAT’S WHAT THEY ALL SAY, Gaelin scratched out, somehow conveying a drawl to his written words.

  ENOUGH FLIRTING YOU TWO, I signed at them. FINISH EATING, THEN WE’LL FIND A WAY OUT OF THE MOUNTAIN. IF THE STORM HAS PASSED, WE FLY BACK TO CELBREM.

  AND PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE, Gaelin added, cracking his knuckles menacingly.

  ABSOLUTELY, I agreed. We both turned to Dora, who’d flushed a bit at my accusation of flirting. She cocked her head, curious as to why we were staring at her.

  HEY, I MAY BE THE VOICE OF REASON, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T AGREE WITH GAELIN’S IDEA ABOUT PUNCHING THAT SMUG POINTY EARED MAGE, Dora replied, a vicious grin on her face. NO ONE KNOCKS ME OUT AND DITCHES ME IN THE PATH OF A STORM AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!

  Upon agreeing to punch a legendary hero in the face, we got back to the all-important business of eating. Dora finished up her slab of breast meat as Gaelin finished off the massive drumstick.

  COULD HAVE USED SALT, the halberdier complained as he tossed the gnawed, greasy bone to the floor. OR ANY KIND OF SEASONING.

  I wobbled in a vague estimation of a shrug and took the bone he’d discarded, spraying it with some acid so it melted down and didn’t clutter up the room. There was still a lot of griffon left over, but we had no way to preserve any of it to take with us.

  Leaving the carcass behind, we all rose from our spot around the campfire and began to wander through the tunnel. As we traveled through the darkness, our path lit only by Dancing Lights, we encountered a tiny patch of light that shone from up ahead.

  ‘I believe we’ve found the entrance to the cave,’ I mused to myself. ‘Up ahead is probably where the griffon first entered the mountain. And judging from the steady stream of light, I think it’s safe to assume the Eternal Storm has passed us by at long last.’

  I couldn’t be sure, though. Not until I saw it all with my own ‘eyes.’ So, we walked along the wide, dripping wet tunnel, and made it through to the other side.

  ‘Huh, glad to know I was right,’ I chuckled to myself as we stopped and stared out of a massive hole in the side of the mountain. Unlike the cave we’d first entered, which had had a lip and a sort of porch-like ledge to stand on when entering, this was just a literal hole in the wall. One wrong move and ‘SPLAT!’

  Or, more accurately, a thousand years of freefalling. Until you hit a floating rock or something else that broke both you and the fall.

  ‘So, we have an exit,’ I mused. ‘And Dora and Gaelin can fly. I haven’t figured out how to do so silently, yet, so I have to rely on them.’

  As I spoke, Gaelin’s cape fluttered and unfurled into two cloth wings, and he eagerly leapt out of the hole and into the sky, which was currently clear and storm free. Dora looked down at her Witch’s Staff and mounted it. I quickly hopped up onto her left shoulder, not wanting to be left behind.

  She gave me an annoyed look, unhappy with how my extra weight threw her balance off, but she still managed to get her flying broom under control and soon shot out of the cave with a burst of speed.

  The sky was as clear and empty as I’d hoped. During our time inside the mountain, the Eternal Storm had moved on. We could still see it. Hard not to miss the gigantic walls of black wind that smashed and slashed through the air, taking up the entire horizon with their bulk. But the great and furious storm was moving away from the Harpy Islands, leaving behind a shattered, ruined mess in its wake.

  I stared at the destruction, as did Dora and Gaelin. The former’s jaw had dropped open in shock, while Gaelin hovered in the air with a dumbstruck stance.

  Several islands had been shoved around, rearranged by the Eternal Storm. There was a great deal of rubble on several isles that looked suspiciously like chunks of other islands. Of particular note was that one island, about the size of a three-story manor, had slammed into the mountain side with such force it had embedded itself there and practically fused to the mountain.

  ‘Sweet Cynthia, the damage here is insane!’ I gasped. I then growled too myself, ‘I sure hope Celbrem is ready to get punched, because he certainly deserves it after putting us in the Eternal Storm’s path!’

  Thinking that, however, caused a problem to rise up in my mind. ‘Uh, where is his home, again?’

  Dora had come to the same realization, a hand slapping her face in exasperation. Gaelin was fuming in regret and annoyance as well. He flew over to our side and raised his halberd to try and speak, before recalling he had nothing to carve his words onto.

  A distant avian screech broke him out of his brooding, and we all tur
ned to see a flock of harpies in the distance emerging from their hiding spot in the mountain. They hadn’t spotted us and were currently trying to resettle onto the islands that remained intact, but their ignorance of us wouldn’t last forever.

  WE NEED TO GO! I signed to my companions, and they nodded in agreement.

  WHERE, THOUGH? Dora asked. I thought it over, thinking hard about a means to find our way back to Celbrem. And then, it hit me.

  ‘Duh, we’re Chosen Ones! Why not ask the Divine Family for a boon?’ I asked myself. ‘And isn’t praying silently a form of Silent Spellcasting, especially when the gods answer and grant blessings to mortals?’

  We’d completely overlooked one of the major forms of magic! Divine magic could be called upon through prayer, and not all prayers had to be spoken aloud. I wondered if this is what Celbrem had wanted us to figure out. I shrugged the thought away and closed off my senses so I could sink into a meditative trance and reach out to Nia and the rest of the Divine Family.

  It felt odd trying to connect with them. Rather than my connection with humanity’s pantheon feeling distant, my link with Nia and the rest seemed muddled, as if there were several walls of glass in the way.

  ‘Makes sense, though,’ I thought to myself with a disgruntled sigh. ‘There’s so many deities and god-like entities in the Aether their own divinity must be creating some sort of interference.’

  ‘Please, make it through,’ I prayed. ‘I just want a spell to help me locate Celbrem!’

  My prayers were answered, as out of the blue a spark of silver flashed into existence within my Mindscape, and I watched, fascinated, as a convoluted twisted shape made from silver thread appeared before me.

  I reached out to it with my mind, and as I brushed it with my thoughts, I instantly knew it was a modified Compass spell that would direct me towards Celbrem’s hut.

  Back in the real world, I raised a tendril and let the Divine spell flow out of me. I cast it happily and jiggled excitedly as a large, glowing purple arrow appeared in midair, pointing off to our right.

  FOLLOW THAT ARROW! I signed at the pair, and they nodded, shooting off in the direction it was pointing. The arrow flew off as well, always a foot or so ahead of us, guiding us back towards our ‘mentor.’

  We were like lightning bolts dashing through the sky, our flight was so fast. Dora maintained the lead over Gaelin, her Witch’s staff superior in terms of pure force and speed. His Shapeless Raiment was superior when it came to maneuverability though, and between the two of them, we blasted across Aerum, nothing daring or foolish enough to try and stop us.

  At long last we could see the odd feather-roofed hut, and in the distance hear the melodious chimes of the Musical Isles.

  ‘We’re back,’ I sighed with joy, and Dora’s shoulder’s sagged in relief. Gaelin let out a soundless ‘Whoop!’ and punched the air victoriously. We then landed on his porch, Dora and Gaelin cracking their knuckles while I practiced growing a fist on the end of a tendril. My gelatinous fingers flexed menacingly as Dora politely knocked on the door.

  “Ah! You’re finally back…!” Celbrem began as he opened up, only to be laid out as he was punched three times in the face.

  As he staggered backwards, clutching his face in shocked pain, we laughed gleefully. Yes, it was good to be back!

  Chapter 9: Into the earth

  “I don’t think I deserved that,” Celbrem pouted, a block of conjured ice over his left eye. It had turned purplish-black from getting hit three times in a row, and Dora had pointedly refused to heal him until he returned our voices.

  GIVE US BACK OUR VOICES AND OUR STUFF, Dora wrote out in the air, her shimmering words containing a glint of malice.

  “But surely you all learned something from this experience?” the legendary hero whined.

  WE SURE DID! I replied, tendrils coiling into the proper letters. WE LEARNED HOW TO KILL A GRIFFON AND EAT IT WITHOUT UTTERING A WORD. WOULD YOU LIKE A DEMONSTRATION?

  “Hmm, is that all? I was able to do that…” he trailed off, leaving his boast uncompleted as Gaelin dryly and menacingly tapped the butt of his halberd against the floor impatiently.

  “Ahem! Well, yes, alright, returning your voices, right? Easy enough to do,” Celbrem said, making an arcane gesture in the air. There was a faint gurgling in the air, followed by a coughing sound, and Gaelin and Dora doubled over, hacking and wheezing as their vocal chords were uncursed.

  As for me, I felt a moist pop go off somewhere within my gooey body, and I tentatively tried to speak.

  “Testing, testing, one two three?” I said aloud. I bounced up and down in happiness. “YES! It’s back!”

  “Ugh, never thought I’d be so happy to hear my own voice again,” Dora wheezed.

  “Why does my voice sound so weak and strained?” Gaelin demanded in a high pitched whine, glancing over at Celbrem with an accusing glare.

  The Grand Elf shrugged unapologetically. “Merely a side effect of the hex keeping you quiet. You should be back to normal within the hour.”

  “Well, now that we’ve passed your test, what’s next?” I asked him, and the Silent Storm smiled widely.

  “Excellent question! Next for you three is being sent to Gaeum so you can find Grandor and complete the next set of trials,” he stated.

  “Oh, great,” Dora groaned, rubbing her temples. “That place.”

  “Been there already, have you?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Had to go to this weird city called Down in order to find and rescue two Elemental Tail kits that belonged to Nia,” she revealed. “I ended up busting up a slave market and killing the Elemental who ran the place. Odds are I can’t show my face there without being arrested.”

  “Well, the good news is that you won’t have to go to the depraved city of money-grubbing ditch-diggers,” Celbrem said, snorting in disgust at the mere idea of the strange, ever descending city. “Bad news is, you’ll have to go to a place crawling with dwarves.”

  “Speciesist,” I accused, and he merely shrugged.

  “Here you go, one portal to Gaeum,” Celbrem stated, reaching into his robes and removing a glowing brown marble. He tossed it onto the floor with one hand, while levitating Dora and Gaelin’s backpacks over to them with the other.

  “Have fun in the dark, dirty, and cramped pits of the Aether,” he chuckled. We gave him one last glare before heading into the portal, off to find our next tutor.

  ~(o)~

  The portal Celbrem had made for us was a lot more stable than some of the others I’d traveled through. I didn’t feel any sickness upon exiting, and both Dora and Gaelin managed to stay on their feet, only wobbling a little bit as they emerged into the dark depths of the Elemental Plane of Earth.

  I quickly assessed where we had appeared. It was a stone cavern – naturally, what else would a traveler expect to find in Gaeum? – that had a dizzyingly high ceiling. The stalactites that hung down had been hollowed out and turned into giant rocky chandeliers, illuminating the area.

  The fine craftsmanship on the stalactites-turned-lamps was not the only evidence of habitation in the area. A great cobblestone road stretched out from one end of the cavern to the other, linking two giant stone gates that stood at opposite ends.

  Besides that, a number of benches hewn from the surrounding stone littered the sides of the road, while a large well stood across the road from us. I could ‘smell’ the water from where I stood, and it was fresh and clean.

  “We should fill up our canteen and water pouches before we do anything else,” I suggested, pointing at the well with a tendril.

  “Good idea. Don’t want to die of thirst while trying to find Grandor,” Dora agreed. She eagerly approached the well and started filling up her canteen.

  “Is that a trough?” Gaelin wondered aloud, gesturing to a stone basin that was connected to the well. It was currently empty but was slightly damp. Proof of having been used recently.

  “I think we might be in some sort of an outpost. Possibly a res
t stop,” Dora surmised after glancing around. “I’ve seen similar set ups in the Cracked Land. Places like this are where the Yellowmoon Menagerie would stop when we were using certain trade routes. Water, shade, and safety were what these outposts offered to travelers.”

  “Huh. Fancy sort of place for a rest stop,” Gaelin mused, looking around. “The craftsmanship is exquisite, especially with those stalactites! We must be on a road leading to an important location in Gaeum.”

  “I think you’re right,” I agreed, finding his assessment reasonable. “The problem now though is determining which way to go… left, or right?”

  We all looked down both paths. Neither of the gates had any signs on or near them, so we couldn’t tell where we were and what was going on. There was no evidence on the road or the benches about which direction the majority of travelers went down. Guessing was our only option.

  But it seemed Fate had other plans for us, because we soon heard the clicking and clacking of wheels on stone. Out from the left-hand gate, an oblong wagon pulled by a massive grey furred mole appeared. Sitting atop the strangely smooth and rounded cart was an equally odd dwarf. He was completely bald. Not a single follicle of hair was on his head, be it in the form of a braided beard or crisply cut hairdo. The only reason I knew it was a dwarf was because the body was too muscled to belong to a gnome.

  “Ho there!” I shouted, grabbing his attention. “Do you know where this road leads?”

  The dwarf driver shot me an incredulous look, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard me, a purple Ooze with a golden core, talk to him. He tapped on the large mole’s back with the heel of his boot, and it came to a halt.

  “No, you aren’t hallucinating or going crazy, he really did just ask you a question,” Dora said with a chuckle.

  “I, uh, I see,” the dwarf said with a cough. Well, in that case, um, this is the road to Chasm Hall.”

  “What’s that?” Gaelin inquired. “I haven’t heard of it.”

  “You’re new to Gaeum, aren’t you?” the driver questioned when he heard Gaelin speak, and we all nodded.