Blue Skies

by Fleur McDonald

  Once his nightly chores were completed he sat in front of his fire and wrote a letter to his family by firelight. It must be completed tonight as he was once again leaving to collect his monthly supplies in Esperance tomorrow. The trip would be arduous, as the two-wheel track that followed the telegraph line would be deep with sand. His journal sat alongside of him, and once he had finished his correspondence, he would carefully document his daily work, so future generations could see how he’d made Kyleena a profitable farm.

  Chapter 8

  ‘Yeah, I have been blaming you for your mother’s death.’ Brian looked down at the table, his elbows resting on the edge, his hands clasped in front of his mouth.

  Tears sprang to Amanda’s eyes with the admission. It was what she had surmised, but to actually hear it . . . well, she didn’t know how to respond. She reached across the space dividing them to touch his arm. ‘I’m sorry, Dad. I blame myself too. If only . . .’

  ‘If only we hadn’t been on that bloody road going to your graduation!’ Brian slammed his fists on the table. ‘She’d still be here . . .’ His voice cracked.

  ‘I’m not sure that kind of accusation is helpful here, Brian,’ Malcolm interrupted.‘We’re not here to apportion blame; we’re trying to work out a future plan.’

  Brian’s face turned red as he asked gruffly, ‘So you think Amanda’s plan might help the cash flow?’

  ‘I’m sure of it,’ Malcolm replied.

  ‘Tell me then, Amanda, what’s this grand plan of yours?’

  Amanda, still teary from Brian’s accusation, took a few deep breaths before answering. ‘Kyleena is really productive country, as we know – it’s quite special in the Esperance shire, with so much land being sand plain or mallee country. We’ve got this rich river country that will produce practically anything. I think we both admit that cropping isn’t our thing, except for stock feed. I know you’ve tried it, but it’s so dependent on good weather at the right time, even though the returns look high on paper. Traditionally the May to July period is our peak debt, without also trying to find the extra money for chemicals and fertiliser, which just puts more financial pressure on that time of the year.

  ‘Likewise, growing wool and wethers is not going to make enough money. I know you’ve tried prime lambs and you don’t think it’s an option, but I believe it can be. I think you might’ve just been using the wrong rams and not understood how the industry works.

  ‘I think we could also include some hay-making for sales.There’s a lot of people who don’t have their own hay gear, so we could grow it on Kyleena and sell it to other farmers. And there’s always the export market. I know we’re probably a bit far away to access that market but we could research it a bit.

  ‘The people who have horses on only a few acres are always looking for good-quality hay as well. I’ve also been thinking about contract work . . .’ Amanda paused as her father rose from the table abruptly.

  ‘I think I’ve heard quite enough,’ Brian barked. He looked furious.‘So what I’ve done in the past isn’t good enough for you, eh? You’ve learned more than I know at that bloody college and you can run Kyleena better than I could, is that it?’

  ‘Brian, Brian, let’s calm down.’ Malcolm stood up and held his hand out in a soothing gesture. ‘Amanda isn’t saying she can do things better. She’s suggesting some things could be done differently. That’s all. Differently. If you’ve looked over the notes I gave to you last week, all of your enterprises are still in there – the wool and cattle. This is just expanding on your original farm plan to include some extra things to help create the cash flow needed.’

  Amanda held her breath as she mentally kicked herself. She had got so caught up in her plan she hadn’t thought about her father’s feelings – again. When will I learn? she wondered. If he walked out now, it would be her fault.

  The tension in the room lifted as Brian slumped down in his chair. He looked defeated, but when he started to talk his voice was strong.

  ‘Here’s how I see it,’ he said. ‘I couldn’t give a stuff about Kyleena at the moment. Amanda, you think you can run it, go for it. It’s yours to have a crack at. I can see you’ve got the ideas and the drive to do it. I need some time to get over your mother’s death and if you can implement some of these ideas and get it running smoothly before you go to England, then that’s fine. I’ll take over for the six months you’re away, then when you come back we’ll reassess the situation. I want a wage, will still live on the farm, and can come and go as I please.You can do everything else. See if you think it’s so easy when it’s all your responsibility.’

  ‘Dad, it’s only three months until I leave . . . I won’t be able to get the changes up and running by then.’ Amanda was still hanging on to the slim chance that she could further her knowledge in England.

  ‘That’s my offer. Otherwise, we sell. I don’t want Kyleena at the moment and I’m not sure I ever will again.’

  Malcolm shuffled his papers in front of him and Amanda stared blindly at the table while she weighed up what her father had proposed. It was an impossible task. You couldn’t fix something in three months that had taken years to break.

  Her thoughts were interrupted when Brian got to his feet and said, ‘I’ll be off now. See you at home. You can tell me what you decide then.’ He walked from the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

  ‘I think I’ve just had an invitation to go back home,’ Amanda said, more to herself than Malcolm, then she let her head slump to the table and groaned. ‘Ah, I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck! This stuff is exhausting. I spent last night trying so hard to think of how to say everything, and I still stuffed it up today. I made it sound like everything Mum and Dad had done was a failure.’

  Malcolm was silent.

  Amanda propped her head onto her fists and asked, ‘So where does that leave us?’

  ‘It means we can go ahead and get the papers drawn up for you to access finance. I’ll get Brian to sign some papers agreeing to this deal – if you want it. Do you?’

  Amanda shook her head, trying to take everything in.‘I can’t get Kyleena up and running in three months. It’s absurd to even think I can make a difference in that time. I can start with the easy-fix things first, like getting rid of the lice and tidying up the sheep, but I can’t turn around the finances or make a profit in that time. Of course I’ll take the deal, though. I’ll have to rethink England. I was already in two minds about it anyway.’

  ‘Well I’ve explained the stringent conditions of the finance, haven’t I? You won’t have a lot of room to move in the beginning. We want a stock mortgage, which will mean with every animal you sell the money comes straight to the bank, and we want a crop lien if you put in a crop. We’ll have a monthly meeting to assess the budget that we have approved.

  ‘And I have to warn you, Amanda, you can’t stray too far from the financial plan that we have agreed on. Head office can easily withdraw the offer of finance. I’ve had to really push for them to agree to this – and I have pushed, because your plan is workable, but you are going to have to prove that you can do this and get the runs on the board. Do you understand all of that?’

  ‘Yeah, I do.’

  Despite her relief at the chance to save Kyleena she felt stricken by her father’s outburst and sad that he didn’t want to be a part of turning it around. And what she was undertaking was a huge risk and she wondered if she’d be able to pull it off.

  Malcolm’s face softened. ‘If you get into trouble with money and you need more, or you want to do something that will make an improvement or help make money later, come and see me. I’ll help you as much as I can. The farming industry needs young people like you – you’ll go far, Amanda, if you work smart now.’

  Amanda listened intently, feeling that he was trying to tell her something else, but she was too tired and emotional to understand what.

  ‘Thank you for your help and your belief in me, Malcolm. I won’t let you down.’ She s
tood up, suddenly yearning for the wide open spaces of home. ‘When will I have to sign the papers?’

  ‘I’ll call head office now, so in about a week’s time, I’d imagine. I’ll ring you and come out to Kyleena with them.’

  They walked together down the corridor, then Amanda shook Malcolm’s hand, thanked him and stepped out into the street.

  A short time later, Amanda sat in a car park on the seafront, watching the cold front blowing the dark clouds across the sky and the wind whip the sea into a frenzy of whitecaps. The misty rain fell gently, hiding the islands in the Recherche Archipelago, and a lone gull strutted along the beach, its feathers lifted in the wind.

  It had happened. Kyleena was hers. But she didn’t feel the satisfaction that she thought she would. If her dad had passed it over willingly, she was sure she’d feel differently. He’d only done it because he was angry, hurt and didn’t have the strength to farm anymore, not because he thought she could manage Kyleena well. And that made for a hollow victory.

  How could she make her dad see that she wanted his approval? That she wanted for them to work together? She wanted to get along with him, have conversations about farming, and enjoy sorting out sheep and cattle together. But it was pretty obvious that wouldn’t be happening.

  Beside her on the front seat was the Kyleena production plan, or the KPP as she was calling it. Idly she flicked through it, trying to work out the best place to start. She was pretty sure it was with the sheep. The hundred or so cattle that were running on the flats of Kyleena had been marked and ear tagged and weren’t due to be weaned for another three or four months.They could be left alone for a little while. It was definitely the sheep. She needed to talk to her dad, find out the mating dates of the ewes and make some decisions from there.

  She started the car and went to the ATM.The balance showed she was down to her last two hundred dollars. Not knowing when she would have any money coming in, she withdrew one hundred, leaving the other for emergencies, and went to the supermarket to get some supplies. After refuelling the VW she headed home for the first time in two weeks.

  Chapter 9

  A week had passed since Amanda had gone back to Kyleena as the new manager. At first, she and her father had avoided each other, passing only in the kitchen at meal times or on the way to the lounge to watch TV. Amanda was leaving before sun-up and returning after dark, while Brian was spending a lot of time in his office or bedroom.

  But that changed on Tuesday night. Amanda was cooking dinner – she’d decided to leave Brian to fend for himself, since the meals she’d cooked for him the first three days had gone untouched – when the phone rang.

  Brian answered it from his office and after a short while he came into the kitchen.

  ‘Smells good,’ he commented. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Lamb shank stew,’ replied Amanda, her back to him as she mashed the potatoes.

  Brian was quiet for a moment, then said, ‘Your mother used to make that.’

  ‘Yeah she did. Who do you think I learned it from?’

  ‘Did she teach you much about cooking?’ Brian asked.

  ‘A bit. I would’ve liked to have learned more.’ Amanda turned around to face him. ‘Sometimes when you were out late on the tractor putting in the oats crop we’d make fun things like pizza and nachos. We’d watch a movie, and then go to bed.’ It felt good to talk to someone who knew her mother as well as she did. ‘Would you like some stew?’

  Her father seemed not to have heard as he stared at the pot simmering on the stove.

  ‘Dad?’

  ‘Uh, yeah, that’d be good.’ Silence. ‘That was Malcolm on the phone. He’ll be here at nine tomorrow with the papers to sign. Call me when tea’s ready.’

  Half an hour later, Amanda called her father. There was no answer. She went to his office and tapped at the door. Still no answer. Sighing, she dished up his tea and put it in the oven to keep warm and ate in front of the TV by herself.

  Amanda’s brown hair streamed out from under her kangaroo-skin hat, the motor bike feeling almost alive as she gave the hand throttle an extra rev and headed towards home. She’d seen Malcolm’s white sedan turn in the driveway. He’d already be at the house by the time she returned.

  Amanda was puzzled when, from a distance, she saw Malcolm on the front porch. She pulled up, the bike’s wheels flicking up mud, kicked down the stand and dismounted.

  ‘Hi, Malcolm. Sorry I’m late. I found a lamb on the wrong side of the fence and I wanted to get him and his mother back together straight away. Dad didn’t let you in?’ Amanda said pulling her hat off and unzipping her jacket.

  ‘Hi, Amanda. I couldn’t make him hear. Maybe he’s down the sheds?’

  ‘Well, come in and have a coffee, while I round him up.’ Amanda busied herself in the kitchen talking non-stop about her plans until she put the coffee in front of Malcolm. Hearing a thump from the depths of the house, she realised her father was in his bedroom. With her heart sinking she knew he’d once again had too much to drink and would come to the kitchen table with bleary eyes, a headache and in a foul temper. She glanced at Malcolm to see if he’d heard then made a decision.

  ‘C’mon, bring your coffee and I’ll show you where I want to put the sorghum crop in if we get some October rains.’ She walked to the door and held it open, just as her father walked into the kitchen in his pyjamas.

  ‘Morning,’ he said. ‘Sorry I’m late.’

  Malcolm looked away as he said, ‘No problem,’ and

  Amanda suspected he was trying to hide the look of shock that had flashed across his face.

  ‘Dad, why don’t you have a shower and I’ll talk to Malcolm while you get ready?’

  ‘Why, so you can turn him against me?’ Brian snarled, and Amanda realised he was still drunk.

  ‘No, no,’ she soothed. ‘That’ll give me time to get you a coffee and cook you some brekkie.Want some bacon and eggs?’

  Her father squinted at her suspiciously.

  Ignoring his response, Amanda opened the fridge and pulled out the bacon, grabbed the frying pan from the draining board and lit the gas cook top.

  ‘Right,’ croaked Brian. ‘I’ll just have a shower and be back.’ He wobbled out, knocking into the doorframe as he left.

  The sound of sizzling bacon filled the silence until Malcolm said sombrely, ‘Look, Amanda, I think we’ve got a problem.’

  Amanda turned to face him, puzzled.

  ‘I can’t let Brian sign these papers. He’s not in a fit state. If he is still under the influence of alcohol, it could be argued that we coerced him into signing them.’

  Amanda swallowed. She should have known it wouldn’t go smoothly.

  Malcolm drummed his fingers on the table, clearly thinking. ‘We’ll see how he is when he comes out,’ he said at last.

  After minutes of silence, they heard the pipes clang, signalling the water had been turned off, and after a few more minutes Brian appeared, looking brighter, though unshaved and a bit dishevelled. Amanda fought back a twinge of sadness. Her father had always presented himself immaculately. She was starting to worry that he really was becoming unbalanced.

  She placed a cup of strong black coffee in front of him and then turned back to the stove.

  ‘Thanks, love.’

  ‘No worries, Dad,’ she said, sliding the eggs and bacon onto a plate and putting it on the table. ‘There you are. Do you feel better?’

  ‘Mm, much better, thanks,’ he muttered as he tucked in to his breakfast. ‘So, we all ready to sign these papers?’

  Shuffling the papers on the table, Malcolm said, ‘I think we need to revisit a couple of issues, Brian, just to make sure it’s all clear.’

  Brian looked at Malcolm quizzically. ‘What do you mean? We sorted that out in your office the other day. Amanda gets the farm, debt and everything. I get to come and go as I please with a wage. I’ll look after the place while she goes to England and when she gets back she can have it again.’ Brian leaned
back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his stubble. ‘Nothing too difficult to understand about that.’

  ‘Well the bank isn’t comfortable with Amanda going to England while she has a debt-ridden farm that she is trying to improve,’ Malcolm countered. ‘She informed me this morning that she won’t be going. If you’re still happy to sign this deal knowing that, then we can go ahead. However, you need to be aware that you are signing everything over to Amanda except your half of the land. If she chooses, she can discuss things with you, but once these papers are signed, you won’t be a signatory to the business bank account. An agreed income will be transferred electronically into your personal bank account and that will be it. Are you still okay with that?’

  Brian seemed to be taken aback by this information and chewed his bacon slowly. ‘Is there anything in those papers that says we can reassess?’

  ‘Why would you want to, Brian?’ Malcolm asked.

  Brian was silent awhile, then held up his hands.‘Well, I guess I feel . . . I mean it’s been my life forever. Sure, at the moment I don’t want it, I’m almost certain I never will again, but it’s a huge step for me to suddenly sign almost everything I’ve owned for most of my life over to Amanda and not to have anything except a wage.’

  ‘I do understand that and in twelve months’ time, we will have another meeting and see if you are wanting to come back and work with Amanda, but whatever happens and whatever you decide later, you’ll now have to farm in a partnership with Amanda because Helena willed her half of the farm.’

  Amanda, sensing that her father was about to erupt again, said gently, ‘Maybe you could go away for a little while, Dad – have a break, a change of scene?’

  ‘Yeah, get me off the farm so you can make your so-called improvements,’ her father said scathingly. Then his shoulders slumped. ‘Sorry, Mandy. Sorry.’ He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them he asked for a pen.