by Jo Ramsey
“You don’t look anywhere near that.” He took a step toward me. My hands grew hotter, and I frantically reminded myself he wasn’t a threat to me. “Do you have ID?”
“Lost it on the bus.” The lie rolled out of my mouth so easily I almost believed it. “I’m traveling east to stay with friends for a while. Once I get there and decide how long I’m staying, I’m going to report the lost ID. I mean, it’ll be a different state, so I’d need a new ID card anyway.”
I’d given too much information. I should have only told him what he specifically asked, but I couldn’t shut myself up. I’d run on adrenaline and instinct trying to save the kids, and then I’d left the building so I wouldn’t have to think about it. Now everything was hitting me.
“You should do it sooner rather than later,” he said. “Identity theft, you know? All right, Kellan McKee. I’ll cut you a break. You’ve been through a lot tonight. You should plan on sticking around Denver for a few more days. We’ll let you know if we need anything more from you.”
I was a witness, not the criminal. He didn’t have any right to tell me not to leave town. I definitely wasn’t going to stay here after all this. The longer I stuck around, the more likely whoever was hunting me would catch up to me. And someone definitely was trying to find me. The sense of it was even stronger now.
I had to leave Denver as soon as possible. I couldn’t wait for the bus the next morning. Walking would at least get me out of the city. Hitchhiking was dumb, but on the other hand, my instincts would probably tell me if someone was dangerous. I should have taken that option in the first place instead of coming to the hotel.
Father, please help me find the safest way out of here, and protect me from anyone who means me harm. Amen.
“Thanks,” I said to the officer.
He nodded, and I hurried up the hall to my room. As I slammed the door shut behind me, my thoughts finally calmed down and my pulse slowed.
I could have used my powers to make him stop asking questions. Or to make him believe what I’d said. I wouldn’t have liked doing it, but it might have been safer.
He’d caught me by surprise, and I’d been too freaked out to even think about it.
I leaned against the door for a few seconds and breathed as evenly as I could. When I was breathing normally and my heart wasn’t trying to pound a hole through my chest, I took my money out of its hiding place. I probably shouldn’t have been carrying so much cash around, but of course I didn’t have a bank account. Mom hadn’t let me open one at home, and now I wouldn’t be able to open one unless I settled somewhere.
In the meantime I had to carry the cash around. It would help if I knew how much I had, so I started counting.
I shook my head. I couldn’t have counted right. A tremble ran through me, and I gathered the bills and started over. I counted three times before I believed I had over ten thousand dollars. Mostly in hundreds, though there were smaller bills too.
My chest tightened, and I felt dizzy. Images straight from the evening news flashed through my brain. Standing on a sidewalk at gunpoint, handing over my money to someone in a mask. My body, broken and bloody in a ditch. People killed each other for less cash than I had.
My stomach twisted. I gagged and wrapped my arms around myself. I was safe right then. A few shallow breaths settled the nausea, and I took another glance at the stack of bills. I could stash some in my pockets and the rest in my chest bindings. I didn’t dare keep any in my suitcase or backpack, because those weren’t always in my hands.
Making plans to keep my money—and myself—safe calmed my stomach and my racing thoughts to a degree. I didn’t want to keep staring at the money in case the panic came back, so I shoved it back between the pillows and turned on the TV.
One of the local channels was broadcasting the news, which included a story about the attempted murder of two children in the hotel where I sat now and the young man who had stopped the mother from drowning the kids.
They didn’t mention me by name. Kellan wasn’t the name I’d been born with, but everyone at home knew me by that name now. And McKee was my real last name because I hadn’t been smart enough to come up with a false one.
I’d only been gone from home for a couple days. I hadn’t had time to figure out how to be on the run.
Hot rage surged through me. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and clenched my fists. Can’t let the fire out. Being on the run wasn’t my choice. If my mother hadn’t sent me away, I’d be safe at home, worrying about homework instead of about being found by the guy my mother had promised would always keep me safe.
The fury and heat grew in me. Gene had never kept me safe. For all I knew, he’d agreed that letting his buddy paw me would “fix” me. Would show me “how to enjoy the body God gave me.”
I tensed my body so hard I shook, and my nails dug into the palms of my hands. Flames raged just behind my eyelids, and I fought to keep them there.
I’d been better off when Gene thought of me as his wife’s weird kid. If I hadn’t set his pal on fire, he might have forgotten all about me once I was gone. If I’d been able to see him before I left, I could have made him forget me. I didn’t like using that power, but keeping myself safe was more important than worrying about messing with Gene’s brain.
The power didn’t work over distance. Thinking about it sent pain slicing through my brain, which told me not to try. Maybe someday I’d get to know my powers better and be able to make them work when I wasn’t right beside someone, but for now I wouldn’t be able to make Gene and his church buddies forget me unless they found me.
I pulled in air through my clenched teeth and forced myself to let it out slowly, then did the same thing again. Cool air. Air that would calm the flames. My eyes ached from being closed so tightly, so I relaxed my eyelids and let out some of my tension with the next exhale. The flames in my mind backed down a little.
Tears trickled down my cheeks, and I welcomed them. Water put out fire too.
I’d seen Sadie’s vision for myself. I didn’t know why she’d had it and not me, but whatever the reason, the vision was true. Maybe Gene and his church folk weren’t the ones after me, but someone was, and they were the most likely ones. As long as no one knew my name or face, I would be safe. Mostly. Gene couldn’t track me if he didn’t have any hints where I’d gone.
My name mentioned on the news would be one hell of a hint. I shook harder.
I still wanted to go to Chicago, but the longer I sat there tuning out the rest of the local news, the more sure I was that I had to leave Denver as soon as possible instead of waiting until the next morning for the bus. I had to find another way.
Brent had said he was working until midnight. I didn’t know if he’d have any suggestions for me, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. If I went back downstairs, I would have to deal with the police again, so I picked up the phone and dialed the front desk.
“How may I assist you?”
The voice was Brent’s, to my relief. I still didn’t want to deal with the woman clerk. “It’s Kellan. I want to get out of here, but the bus I plan to take doesn’t leave until morning. Any suggestions?”
“You might be better off there.” He paused. “I don’t understand what’s going on and I won’t pretend to. Look, is it all right if I come up there to talk to you? Right now I’m alone down here, but it won’t last. She’ll be right back, and there are always guests wandering around.”
“Yeah, come up.” The warmth from him when I’d checked in told me he wasn’t any threat to me. I’d be safe with him even if we were alone in the room.
“Be right there.”
He hung up, and not long after, someone knocked on my door. I knew it was Brent but peeked through the peephole anyway just in case. My instincts hadn’t been wrong yet. I just didn’t want to take a chance on this being the first time.
I opened the door. He walked in and closed it behind him. “You were planning to stay until tomorrow,” he said. “What changed your mind?�
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“Too much going on.” I jerked my head toward the hall. “All the police and news and everything. They mentioned me on one of the local news channels. Not by name, but they said a young man saved the kids. I can’t afford to have some people find out where I am.”
“So you are a runaway.” He folded his arms and glared at me. “You said you weren’t.”
“I’m not.” Running away would have been my choice. Leaving home hadn’t been. “It’s just that something happened where I used to live, and now people are looking for me. I didn’t break any laws or anything. They did. That’s why they want to find me, so I won’t tell anyone what they did.”
That wasn’t a hundred percent true. The only one who’d broken a law was Gene’s friend, when he’d put his hands all over me while I begged him not to. As far as I knew, Gene hadn’t done anything illegal.
I’d burned off a guy’s hands. That probably was against the law, even if I hadn’t meant to do it.
Brent just kept staring at me until I got really uncomfortable. I didn’t look away. I needed him to believe me so he would help me. If I couldn’t keep my eyes on him, he would think I’d lied.
“You’re afraid if you’re on the news here, someone back home will find out?” he said finally.
“Yeah. I mean, someone tried to kill her kids. It might be national news. Regional at least, and I’m sort of regional.” Arizona wasn’t too far, news-wise at least.
“It isn’t exactly safe for you to travel on your own,” he said. “Girls should have someone with them.”
“Girl?” I narrowed my eyes. “What girl?”
“Come on.” He shook his head. “You do a good job of hiding it, but I can still tell.”
“I’m not a girl.” I didn’t want to try to explain the whole transgender thing right then. I was still working on making him understand why leaving was so important. But I didn’t have much choice. “I’m transgender. Girl body, guy brain, emotions, everything that isn’t anatomy. So as far as I’m concerned, I’m a guy.”
“Ah, now I get it.” He hesitated.
He didn’t seem bothered by what I’d just told him. A little confused, possibly.
“Sorry if I pissed you off. I just don’t want you hurt. Do you know where you’re going?”
“East.” I was starting to trust him more than I was really comfortable with, so I had to be careful. Just because he was trustworthy now didn’t mean he would stay that way.
Another case of being paranoid, but maybe with a good reason. Not even forty-eight hours had passed since I’d left home, and I’d already learned to be careful about trusting people. Even if my instincts told me to, they might be wrong. Or the person might be trustworthy right at that moment and then change.
When I’d walked out of my house with my backpack and suitcase—despite being upset about having to leave—I’d considered it kind of an adventure. I’d be able to travel. See the country, which was something I wouldn’t have had a chance to do otherwise. Gene and his church believed people should stay close to home and family, and traveling opened you up to being tempted. Same with the Internet, cell phones, and even TV. We’d had a TV because Mom had refused to give it up, but Gene monitored everything we watched.
I’d believed I would be able to see places and things I’d never even thought of before. The idea of being on the road had been exciting. I knew I’d have to be careful about who saw me and who I talked to, but I figured I’d still be able to enjoy traveling.
Now I found nothing enjoyable about it. I had nowhere safe to go. Some people who saw me would immediately think of me as prey. Others would see me as a girl, which might be the same thing.
When I reached my final destination, I would be safe. I knew it as strongly as I knew I was a guy. But I didn’t know where it was or when I’d get there.
“You’re zoning out on me,” Brent said. “Where did you come from today?”
“Some little town near Albuquerque.” I didn’t name the town because I couldn’t remember it.
“And you’re heading east. Do you even know where you’re going exactly?”
“Yes.” At least partway.
“And you aren’t going to tell me?”
“No. Sorry.”
He nodded. “I understand. Sort of. You don’t believe you can trust anyone, and I’m not going to try to make you trust me. You must trust me some, anyway, or you wouldn’t have asked me for help.”
“I trust you conditionally,” I said. “The condition is you don’t mess me over.”
“I won’t.” The corners of his mouth quirked. “I don’t think I’ve heard it phrased quite that way. Screw me over is more common.”
I shrugged. “Religious family. I learned to watch what I said.”
“The bus you need doesn’t leave until tomorrow morning,” he said. “And you think you should get out of here tonight. Right? I want to make sure I understand this.”
“Before there are too many questions from the police and the media,” I said. “No reporters have tried to talk to me so far, because I don’t think they realize I’m the guy who helped those kids, but it’s a matter of time before someone figures it out.”
“The police probably want you to stay to answer more questions.” He peered through the peephole in the door. “If it’s anything like on TV, they told you to stay in the area in case they need to talk to you again.”
“Or testify against the mother.” My chest tightened. He sounded as if he didn’t plan to help me after all. He wouldn’t go against the police to help some kid he didn’t even know. I couldn’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to either.
“How scary are the people you’re trying to avoid?”
I didn’t have a clue how to answer. If someone met Gene and his friends, they wouldn’t seem scary at all. They came across as good Christian men who served others and took care of their families.
Only the women and kids in the church knew how strict they were. How dangerous ignoring the church’s teachings or the rules the men made could be. We were supposed to respect and obey the men the same way we respected and obeyed God. If we went against the men, it was nearly as big a sin—and deserving of nearly as much punishment—as going against God. And that did make them kind of scary.
“I don’t know what they’ll do if they find me,” I said. “I had to defend myself against one of them, and the others probably don’t believe he did anything wrong.”
Brent didn’t say anything for a minute. I held my breath waiting to see if he’d ask for more details.
“Okay,” he said finally. “I have a friend who may be able to drive you part of the way to wherever you’re going. I can’t guarantee it. He isn’t the most helpful guy. If he does decide to help, he’ll want money for it.”
“I have money,” I said.
“Don’t let him find out, or he’ll try to con more out of you than the trip’s worth.” He took a cell phone out of his pocket. “Give me your number. I want to make sure you get where you’re going all right.”
“I don’t have a phone.”
He did a double take. “You don’t have a phone? What kind of guy are you?”
“The kind who wasn’t allowed to have a phone.” I didn’t feel like going into the whole explanation of how cell phones opened you to temptations. “I haven’t had a chance to buy one since I left.”
“Wow, that’s kind of weird. Most parents want their kids to have phones so they can check up on them.”
“It is what it is.” My life hadn’t been any weirder than a lot of other people’s. Just different.
I should have had a cell phone, though. Having one would be good in case I needed help. Plus Sadie wanted me to call her when I got where I was going. Hotels had phones, but having one of my own would probably be better. I was pretty sure I could get one that wouldn’t require me to sign a contract or anything.
“Okay. I don’t like the idea of you going with my friend if you don’t have a phone,” Brent said.
“I trust him, but if there are any problems, you should be able to call someone. There’s a twenty-four-hour convenience store up the street where they sell prepaid phones. If you think it’s okay for you to go out again, you should go buy one.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t sense any potential problems if I went out. The only issue would be getting my money out of its hiding place with Brent standing there. What I had in my pocket probably wouldn’t be enough for the phone, and I didn’t want to get into my stash with someone watching.
“I’m going back to the desk,” he said. “I only managed to get a few minutes, and I should have already been back down there. Cheryl isn’t too happy when things don’t go according to the rules. I’ll give my friend a call. Come see me at the desk when you get back with the phone, and I’ll tell you what’s happening.”
“Okay,” I said. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He grinned and left.
I took out a couple of twenties from the stash and shoved them in my pocket.
When I went down the hall to the elevator, the police officer was still there. He didn’t say anything to me this time, just looked at me. I was too tired to use my powers to prevent him from asking questions. All I could do was pray.
Father, please let me pass him and leave without interference. Amen.
The prayer worked. The officer didn’t say a word. I got onto the elevator, let out a long breath, and sagged against the wall.
Brent hadn’t told me which direction the convenience store was, but I didn’t have any trouble finding it. The phones were right at the front counter, and the clerk was nice enough to explain to me how they worked. The explanation was actually pretty simple, since I didn’t care about texting or any of the other features. I just wanted to be able to make and receive phone calls.
When I returned to the hotel, one police car and three news vans sat out front. I glanced inside through the front window. Two reporters with cameramen stood near the desk. That wasn’t good. Even if the reporters didn’t realize I was the one who’d found the kids, they might decide to ask me questions because I was a guest at the hotel.
