by Jo Ramsey
I needed to find out if Brent had gotten me a ride. The reporters were another sign that I should leave as soon as possible.
If a reporter tried too hard to ask me questions, I would have to make him stop. I didn’t like the idea of having so much power over people, but I had to keep myself safe. No one else was going to. I would do what I had to do even if I felt awful about it afterward.
If more than one reporter stopped me, I doubted my powers would be strong enough to work on all of them at once. I could try, but I didn’t know what would happen if I tried too hard.
Avoiding them altogether would be best.
Fortunately, I walked into the lobby and no one glanced in my direction. Brent was at the desk. He gave me something halfway between a smile and a grimace. “It got a little busy here after you left.”
“I see.” I held up the phone. “I’m all set.”
“Let me see it.”
He held out his hand, and I set the phone in it. He pressed a few buttons and handed it back to me. “Do you know how to call preprogrammed numbers? You said you’d never had a phone before.”
“Not a cell phone. The cashier at the store showed me how it works.” I pressed the button for the contact list. Brent had put in two numbers, one with his name and one with the name of the hotel. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He leaned over the counter and lowered his voice. “Go get your stuff. My friend will be here in fifteen minutes. I don’t know if the police are still up on your floor. They probably are. I haven’t seen them leave, but I haven’t been here every second, so maybe they’re gone. For your sake, I hope so. Otherwise you’ll have to get past them with your luggage. That would make it pretty obvious that you’re leaving. If they want you to stay in town, you may have a problem.”
“I’ll manage.” I would use my powers if I had to. Hopefully they wouldn’t still be in the hallway even if they were on my floor. I didn’t actually want to force them to let me go. I just didn’t want anyone to stop me from leaving.
I had to go. The longer I stood there, the more my legs shook and my body tilted toward the door as if on its own. Something in my mind shouted, “Now!” The longer I stood there, the louder the voice repeated the word. A force pulled me from outside the building. It didn’t matter if the police saw me or tried to stop me. I had to move on before I lost the chance.
I wished I could have spent the night at the hotel and gotten some sleep in a nice warm bed before I hit the road, but obviously that wouldn’t be possible. I’d spent more than I’d wanted to on the room, and now I was wasting the money. But when I considered staying longer, my stomach churned and I tasted bile. Denver was not a good place for me, even for a single night.
I couldn’t do anything about the money I was losing. As for sleep, the best I could hope was that I’d be able to sleep in Brent’s friend’s car for an hour or two until he dropped me off. I doubted he would take me all the way to Chicago, but as long as he took me in the right direction, everything would be fine.
The police were nowhere in sight on my floor, thank God. I went into my room and gathered up my stuff. I stuck some cash in my pocket and made sure to stash the rest where no one would find it—unless I ended up having to be searched—and went back to the lobby. No one saw me. No one stopped me.
Hopefully no one other than Brent would remember I’d even been there. Unfortunately I was pretty sure that was too much to ask. I didn’t know everything about my powers yet, but I doubted they were strong enough to work on everyone who had seen me all at once. I would have had to use the power person-by-person, and that would have been impossible when people I hadn’t been aware of had probably seen me on the street or in the store.
I wasn’t sure the powers would work over a distance either. So far I’d had to be with someone to use my powers on them. If I’d been certain being near a person wasn’t necessary, I would have tried to make Gene forget me. But just considering it made my temples throb. I wasn’t strong enough yet.
Someday I would have to be. For now I had to hope and pray I wouldn’t stand out in people’s memories.
Chapter Four
BRENT’S FRIEND, Shad, had long blond bangs hanging over one eye. The rest of his hair was spiky and blue.
He didn’t talk much as he drove through Denver to the highway. My bags were in the backseat of his little two-door hatchback car. I’d refused to let him put them in the trunk in case I had to get out of the car fast. I wasn’t about to leave everything I owned behind.
“How far east?” he asked once we’d merged into light traffic on the highway.
It was almost ten o’clock now. Everything that had happened had taken a lot less time than I’d believed.
“As far as you can take me.” I wasn’t sure I should tell him I was heading to Chicago. Of course, I wouldn’t be staying there, so even if he passed the information along, I’d probably be safe.
“I can take you all the way to the freaking Atlantic if you want.” He glanced at me. “Brent didn’t tell you much about me, huh?”
“Only that you’re his friend and he trusts you.” My instincts told me to trust Brent, and if Brent trusted this guy, so did I.
“I’m out of work, and I don’t have anything better to do with my time than drive east.”
He made a weird sound. It might have been a laugh. I couldn’t tell for sure.
“Seriously, Brent said you had to go east, but you hadn’t told him where. Do you have a plan?”
I didn’t answer right away. I hadn’t listened to my senses about staying in Denver when I’d first arrived, and look what had happened. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. If I had to take extra time to check in with my instincts, I would.
I didn’t pick up anything off about Shad. He was a little weird and definitely not the kind of person my mother and Gene would have approved of, but he didn’t have any bad intentions. I’d be safe enough with him, and it wouldn’t hurt anything to tell him where I was going.
“Chicago,” I said. “It won’t be the last stop, but it’s as far as I’m going for now. Once I’m there, I’ll have to think some things through.”
“I can take you there,” he said. “As long as you pay double gas money and food.”
“Double?” I didn’t like the sound of that. I had no intention of giving away all my cash.
“There and back,” he said. “I can take you all the way to Chicago if you want, and you’ll be paying for stuff along the way, right? After I drop you off, I have to get back to Denver somehow. You don’t drive, do you?”
“No. Why?” When I’d turned sixteen, I’d been expecting to get my learner’s permit, but Gene had informed me I wouldn’t be driving until I turned eighteen. I was pretty sure he’d planned to tell me I wouldn’t be allowed to drive at all. The women who belonged to our church weren’t supposed to drive, but Mom did because she’d refused to give up her car and license. It was one of the very few things I’d seen her stand up to Gene about.
Apparently Gene had assumed Mom would stand up to him about me driving too, because he hadn’t reminded me of the prohibition against driving. He just hadn’t been willing to let me drive while I was underage.
“That means it’ll take a little longer to get there,” Shad said. “It’s sixteen, maybe seventeen hours, if we make stops or hit traffic. A thousand miles.”
I gulped. “And you’re willing to go all the way there? You don’t even know who I am or anything about me.”
“I don’t need to,” he said. “Brent said you ran into some kind of trouble where you used to live, and people are searching for you. I’ve been there, and I know what it’s like to need to get away from your past. The farther away you get, the better. Besides, like I said, I don’t have anything else to do. This is the closest I’ve had to a job in months. We just may have to stop for a while so I can sleep.”
“I’ll pay for a motel.” I kind of wished I’d ignored the urge to get out of Denver right a
way. If I’d been able to hide out somewhere until the bus to Chicago left, I would have been able to sleep on the bus and not spent more money on motels.
Except ignoring that urge hadn’t been a real option. Denver wasn’t safe. Being safe was worth any amount of money.
“Nah, I don’t mean stop for a long time.” He honked the horn at someone who changed lanes a little too close to our front bumper. “Just for an hour or two so I can nap. I don’t sleep long hours anyway. If you knew how to drive, you could take over while I nap, and we wouldn’t have to stop at all.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t imagine not sleeping through the night. I was having trouble keeping my eyelids from fluttering shut, and my body had relaxed so completely against the seat I wasn’t sure I could get up if I had to. Right then sleeping was all I wanted to do. I hoped Shad would be able to drive safely without much sleep, since I wouldn’t be able to help out.
“You can sleep if you want,” he said, as if he’d read my mind. “Brent said you were planning to stay at the hotel tonight, so you probably expected to get some sleep, huh?”
“That was the idea. It didn’t work out.” My eyes were starting to close on their own, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to fight them.
“Yeah, well, sleep if you want,” he said again. “Don’t worry about me. As long as the radio doesn’t bother you, it’ll keep me awake. I’ll have to stop for gas in an hour or so, and I’ll wake you up then because you’ll have to pay for it.”
“Okay.” An hour of sleep would be better than none. Not much, but better.
I woke up when the car engine shut off. “What’s going on?”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Shad said. “We’re at the gas station. Remember I told you we’d be stopping?”
“Yeah.” I swallowed a couple of times. My mouth was way too dry. I must have been sleeping with my mouth open again. Mom had been trying to train me not to. “Sorry. I must have been pretty sound asleep.”
“You were snoring.” He made the weird snorting sound again—his version of a laugh. “Anyway, you have cash for the gas, or how’s it going to work? If it’s cash, I have to pay in advance.”
I didn’t want him to know I’d stuffed most of my cash in my pockets and my binding. On the other hand, I couldn’t figure out any way to get the money out without him seeing. “Um, yeah. It’s cash. Do you mind getting out of the car so I can get it?”
“What do you have to do, strip and pull it out of your butthole?” He made the noise again. “Yeah, I’ll get out of the car. No problem.”
He did. I checked to make sure he wasn’t peeking in the window and then took a couple of twenties out of my jeans pocket. I got out of the car and handed him the money.
He nodded toward the store. “Come in with me. You can pick up some food and drinks while I fill the tank.”
I hesitated. I didn’t like the idea of him being outside alone with the car and my stuff while I stayed in the store. If he decided to take off on me, I wouldn’t know until I came back outside.
I had no good reason for wanting to stay outside, though. We would need food and drinks—I’d learned my lesson from the bus rides—and I was the one with the money, so it made sense for me to be the one to buy the stuff. Besides, they probably had a bathroom in there, and I’d be able to rearrange my cash so the safer bills were more accessible and the hundreds were better hidden.
I followed Shad into the store. He paid for thirty dollars’ worth of gas, which he claimed would fill the tank, and handed me the change. “You don’t have to buy me a lot of stuff. Just junk food and soda. I promise I’m not going to bail on you, okay?”
“Okay.” For the second time, I could have sworn he’d read my mind. It was kind of freaky. Then again, I wasn’t the only psychic person in existence. Maybe he had some powers too, and I just hadn’t picked up on them.
“See you outside.” He nodded toward a rack of snack cakes. “A few of those would be awesome.”
He walked out of the store, and I headed for the restrooms at the far end, my heart racing. I held my breath as I approached the doors and prayed no one would stop me. I almost never used public restrooms. I belonged in the men’s room as far as I was concerned, but given my anatomy it wasn’t necessarily a safe place. But when I tried walking into a women’s room, I always worried people were seeing a guy walk in.
I didn’t have a whole lot of choice this time. I needed to use the restroom and organize my cash. I couldn’t do either one where people would see me.
I picked the men’s room and hoped no one would give me a hassle because of it. In one of the larger stalls, I stripped off my shirt and adjusted my binding, which had slipped a little. The bandages had started smelling kind of funky. When I reached Chicago, I would have to find somewhere to do laundry. Of course, that would mean not having my chest bound while I washed the bandages, but it would be better than smelling bad. Now that I didn’t have to hide the bandages, I would have to buy another set or two so I’d have a spare for laundry day.
I wanted to find a better way to keep my chest flat. I’d do some research once I got where I was going. I could find a library and use one of their computers. I hadn’t been allowed to own a computer or use the Internet, but I’d used school computers to go online anyway. I’d had to for school assignments. What Gene didn’t know wouldn’t hurt either of us.
Now I wished I’d been a little more disobedient. I could have explored the Internet more fully at school. Maybe learned some things about life outside my house and church.
I wasn’t psychic enough to read God’s mind, so I didn’t know what he thought about everything going on. As I put my shirt back on, I realized I hadn’t prayed as much as usual since Mom kicked me out of the house. Usually praying was something I just did, like breathing or blinking. Even before Gene had come into the picture, Mom had brought me up to believe in God. I prayed when I needed something, but also when I just wanted a conversation, even if it was kind of one-sided. I believed God heard me. He just didn’t answer in words.
During the past couple of days, I’d only prayed when I needed help. I hadn’t had my usual conversations with God, and I missed them.
A gas station bathroom stall was a weird place for it, and I wanted to get out of there and buy the food and drinks Shad had asked for before he gave up and took off. But now I didn’t feel right leaving without taking a few minutes to pray. Really pray, not just a quick request for something. I folded my arms and closed my eyes.
Father, I don’t know why I have these powers, but I believe you gave them to me. They aren’t evil as long as I don’t do evil things with them. And I don’t know why you let my mother throw me out, but I believe you have a plan. So please lead me in the right way for that plan, and watch over me until I get where I’m supposed to be. And help me remember you’re there. Amen.
When I opened my eyes, warmth wrapped around me like a soft blanket. God had heard me. That was a relief. I hadn’t been totally sure whether he would listen this time.
I put myself back together completely and left the restroom. Shad was leaning against the glass wall beside the front door. He glanced around and walked over to me. “There you are. I was starting to wonder if you’d been the one to decide to bail.”
“Sorry.” I went to the drinks cooler. “I didn’t think I’d take so long, but you know how it is.”
“Yeah.” He reached past me and grabbed a couple of bottles of extra-caffeinated soda. “These will help me drive.”
“Sorry,” I said again, not even sure what I was apologizing for.
“No problem. You have to do what you have to do.” He gestured at the bottles. “You getting anything?”
“Yeah.”
We ended up with half a dozen bottles of soda, two bottles of water, and a bunch of chips and other snacks. Definitely not nutritious food. My mother would have flipped out. But it was easy to carry and would be easy to eat on the road.
“So it’s still about fifte
en hours,” Shad said when we got back into the car. “You can go back to sleep. The radio was doing okay helping me stay awake, and I have my caffeine now.” He took a bottle of soda out of one of the bags. “I’ll wake you up if I need someone talking to me or if I decide to stop for a nap.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
I leaned my seat back but didn’t close my eyes. Even though I’d only slept about an hour, I wasn’t nearly as tired as before. I wanted to see where we were driving, except because it was pitch black outside, I couldn’t really see much.
“Which restroom did you use?” Shad asked after a few minutes.
“Huh?” I jumped. I hadn’t expected him to say anything, let alone ask a question like that.
“In the store. Which restroom?” He glanced at me. “Brent told me you’re trans. I think he wanted to keep me from hitting on you.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t too happy about Brent telling my secrets. Then again, if it kept Shad from hitting on me, it wasn’t a bad thing. “You don’t like trans guys?”
“I like guy-guys.” He grinned. “Brent knows I’m gay. I wouldn’t have hit on you anyway. You look way too young for me, even if you are eighteen. But knowing your, you know, anatomy doesn’t match what I’m interested in makes it even less likely. No offense.”
“I’m not offended. I’m not interested in guys anyway.” I paused. Since he was being honest with me, I figured I might as well be honest too. “And I’m not really eighteen. I’m sixteen. I just figure it’s safer if people believe I’m of legal age to be on my own.”
“Yeah, probably is.” He glanced at me again. “You know you only look about twelve.”
“Yeah. Kind of stinks.” I stared out the window at some lights in the distance. “I appreciate you driving me so far. I was going to take a bus.”
“Buses stink,” he said. “I mean literally. All those people traveling who knows how far, and they sure aren’t taking showers while they’re on the road. And the bathrooms on those things are nasty after an hour or two, if they even get cleaned before the trip. I’ve spent a lot of time on buses.”
