Where No One Knows

by Jo Ramsey

  He nodded. “Garrett and Mireille told us. I hope that’s okay. I mean, they kind of outed you to a bunch of total strangers.”

  “It’s okay if it means you aren’t weirded out by sharing a room with me.” He didn’t seem bothered by it at all, which concerned me. He accepted it a little too easily, or maybe I wasn’t used to open-minded people.

  “I’m fine with it if you are,” he said. “You’re a guy, right? Are you gay or straight?”

  “I like girls.”

  “Then we won’t be hitting on each other, so it’s fine with me.” He grinned. “Believe me, being trans is far from the most unusual thing here. Go take your shower. You look like you’re about to fall flat on your face.”

  I felt like it, too, so I picked up the towel and other things he’d left on the top bunk. “Where’s the bathroom?”

  “I’ll show you.” Royce straightened. “Derek, let me know if you need help on your assignment.”

  “Thanks. I’ve got it.” A little bit of sarcasm thickened his voice.

  Royce led me to the end of the hall, where one door opened into a bathroom bigger than the bedroom I’d had at home. “Think you can find your way back to your room from here?”

  “Um, yeah, I’m good.” I wasn’t sure if he was teasing me or not.

  “Okay.” He hesitated. “I don’t know what Shad told you about me.”

  “What he said doesn’t matter.” I wasn’t about to share Shad’s conversation with this guy. I didn’t have anything against Royce personally, but I didn’t like what I’d heard from Shad. I didn’t want to cause more problems.

  “Fair enough,” he said. “I hope you’ll give all of us a chance based on what you see for yourself and not on what you’ve heard from others.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” I yawned on purpose so he’d leave me alone. “Can we talk in the morning? I want to call Shad and Sadie before I go to bed, and I’m going to fall asleep in the shower if I don’t hurry up.”

  “Yeah, of course. Sorry. You’ve had a lot to take in tonight.” He stepped back into the hall. “Let Derek know if you need anything else. The rest of us will leave you alone until morning.”

  “Thanks.”

  He closed the door. I stripped out of my clothes and dropped them in the basket, except my bindings, which I held on to because they weren’t as dirty as the other ones. I’d forgotten to bring my dirty clothes in, so I would have to do that after my shower.

  The water took a couple of minutes to warm up. Once it reached the right temperature, I stepped into the shower and closed my eyes.

  I had no idea where I was. Obviously Boston, or Winthrop or whatever. This house and these people were too much to figure out when I was this tired. I couldn’t even begin to form an opinion of them, let alone understand what kind of place and what kind of people I’d found. So far I wanted to spend all my time staring at Mireille. I liked and trusted Derek. I pretty much trusted Royce and Garrett, though the tension between them made me wonder which one I should actually be trusting. Eben hadn’t said or done enough for me to have a sense about him one way or the other.

  I hadn’t even met some of the other people in the house yet. Derek had mentioned Treese and Lauren. I wasn’t sure they were the only ones who’d remained out of sight while I got sorted out and shuffled in.

  I’d have the weekend to figure it all out and decide whether to stay. Unless something really struck me as wrong, I would stick it out that long. Spending more than one night somewhere and having showers and regular meals for a couple of days would be nice. I’d hear what Garrett had to say the next morning and decide whether to sign his agreement.

  I wished I could stay in the shower forever, because the warm water felt so good. But I was too tired to stand up much longer. I washed and rinsed and stepped out to wrap myself in the towel, which was even nicer than the one at the hotel in Denver. I pulled on my underwear, shorts, and T-shirt and headed back to the bedroom with my bindings in my hand. I didn’t wear those to bed. I hated feeling my chest hanging there in my pajamas, but the one time I’d tried keeping the bindings on, they’d been too uncomfortable for me to sleep.

  Derek was still on the bed, sitting exactly the way he had been with the same binder in his lap. He grinned at me, then immediately went back to work. “I’m almost done, and then I’ll turn out the light so you can sleep.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “I have a couple calls to make first anyway.”

  “Go ahead. I won’t eavesdrop.”

  He would still overhear me. The room wasn’t that big. I would rather have gone somewhere else to call Shad and Sadie, but I didn’t know where else to go. I took out the phone and called Shad first, since I still had to find Sadie’s number in the pocket of the jeans I’d worn when she’d given it to me.

  Shad answered right away. “Kellan. Everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m here and getting ready to sleep.” I had questions for him about Royce, Garrett, and the whole situation, but I wasn’t comfortable asking with Derek sitting right there. “Um, I just wanted to tell you I’m all right. Maybe I can talk to you more tomorrow or something?”

  “Anytime. Just give me a call,” he said. “As a heads-up, you’re all over the news out here. The police still want to talk to you more about those kids, and your stepfather’s here being interviewed about how desperate your family is to find you.” He paused. “Kellan, I’m sorry. One of the kids, the baby, didn’t make it. They’re charging the mother with murder now.”

  “Oh.” I couldn’t say anything more. Screams and curse words rose in my throat, and fiery fury reddened my vision. I tightened my hand on the phone and sat on the other hand to keep from punching myself in the leg.

  I had prayed for the kids to be okay, but it hadn’t been enough. I should have knocked on that door sooner. Or forced my way past the mother instead of wasting time arguing.

  I should have done more to save the kids. Heat blurred my vision, and I closed my eyes and choked back tears.

  I had to stop thinking that way. It wasn’t my fault.

  Telling myself that did nothing to ease the pain.

  “Get some sleep and take care of yourself,” he said. “I’ll let the group know what’s going on out here so they’ll be able to protect you. Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay? You did what you could.”

  Even from a distance, he could read my mind. “Okay. Thanks.”

  “Talk to you soon.”

  I hung up and put the phone on top of my suitcase. I didn’t feel like talking to Sadie now. She could wait until morning to hear that I’d arrived in Boston. For the moment I needed to go to sleep and forget that everything wasn’t really okay.

  Chapter Eight

  VOICES HOVERED near me. Voices I didn’t recognize. I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but they were there.

  I opened my eyes and sat up fast. Fortunately the room had high ceilings, or I would have slammed my head. I’d forgotten I was in a top bunk. I’d almost forgotten where I was.

  Derek and a girl stood at the open door of the room talking in low voices. I cleared my throat, and Derek whirled around. “Crap. Sorry, Kellan. Treese, I told you we should have gone downstairs.”

  “Yeah, because I want to walk around in my bathrobe,” the girl said. She peeked around Derek. She had short jet black hair, almost a crew cut, and sparkling blue earrings studded all the way up her earlobes. “Hey. I’m Treese.”

  “Hey.” I wanted to ask if “Treese” was short for anything, but if she was anything like the rest of them, she knew my question even without me asking. She would tell me if she wanted to.

  She pushed past Derek and walked into the room. He made a noise, which she ignored. “You’re Kellan, right? The pyro.”

  I stared at her. I wasn’t a pyro. I didn’t set fires on purpose. Then I realized she probably meant pyrokinetic. “Yeah. Sometimes.”

  “Sometimes.” She chuckled. “Yeah. I guess you wouldn’t want to set anyth
ing important on fire.”

  “Don’t mind Treese.” Derek walked over to the bed. “She broke her internal censor years ago. And she’s apparently forgotten girls and guys aren’t supposed to be in each other’s rooms.”

  That must have been a house rule Garrett hadn’t mentioned. Then again, I kind of screwed it up for them, given my circumstances. Right now physically I was a girl staying in a guy’s room. If they moved me in with Treese or any other girl who lived there, mentally I’d be a guy staying in a girl’s room.

  I had the sense Treese wanted to bring that up, but she took another look at me and closed her mouth. “Yeah. Wouldn’t want Garrett or Mireille to catch me. Which is why I was standing at the door until your roomie was too rude to come over to say hello.”

  “I just woke up.” I glared at her and held back the nasty comment I wanted to make. She called me rude, but she was the rude one as far as I was concerned.

  “Treese, please get out before someone sees you in here,” Derek said. “I’ll talk to you later. I’m supposed to fill Kellan in on what goes on here in the mornings anyway.”

  Treese rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’m going into the city this afternoon, so if we’re going to have this conversation, it had better be this morning.” She walked out, her thin pink robe flipping around on her legs.

  Derek sank onto his bunk. “God, she’s exhausting. She isn’t too bad once you get to know her. That’s her ‘I’m tough, so don’t mess with me’ act. She does it to everyone new.”

  “It’s a pretty good act.” I stretched and climbed down from my bunk. I had to find Sadie’s phone number and put the rest of my dirty clothes in the laundry basket in the bathroom. “So how do mornings work around here?”

  “You showered last night, so you don’t need one this morning.” He paused. “Do you?”

  “No.” I wouldn’t have minded another shower, but I didn’t need one.

  “We have four showers in the house, so usually it isn’t a problem if everyone wants a shower in the morning,” he said. “The hot water sometimes runs out, so if you can shower at night, it would work out better for you. Everyone’s assigned a bathroom to make sure they have a chance to wash up and stuff. You and I use the one where you showered last night.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “There are only three people assigned to each bathroom, so you don’t usually have to wait too long, if you have to wait at all.” He swung his legs up onto his bed. “It’s a weekend, so things are a little more relaxed. Monday through Friday, unless it’s a holiday, we’re all supposed to be up, clean, and dressed by seven.”

  “Why so early?” My school in Arizona had started at nine, so I hadn’t woken up until after seven. I didn’t like early mornings. The silence before others started their days always pressed in on me. That wouldn’t be the case here since everyone had to be up early, but I still didn’t like the idea.

  “For the ones in high school, we have to leave at seven-thirty,” he said. “The school’s about a mile from here, give or take. We walk, and we have to be there by quarter to eight. Garrett and Royce work in the city and have to be there by nine. If they drive, it takes a while because there are only two roads in and out of town. If they take public transportation, sometimes they have to wait for the bus or train, so they leave pretty early.”

  “Oh.”

  “Too much info when you’ve just woken up, huh?” He grinned. “Sorry. I talk a lot. That’s probably why Garrett assigned me to fill you in on things. He’s already been up here, by the way. It’s after eight o’clock, and most of us wake up early even on weekends, but he said to let you sleep. I didn’t mean for Treese and me to wake you.”

  “It’s okay.” I had stuff to do and things to find out about my new home. If I decided it really was home now. “So is it okay if I go brush my teeth and stuff?”

  “Yeah. We share the bathroom with Eben. He had to work today, so he’s probably long gone.”

  I opened my suitcase and rummaged around until I found the pants I’d been wearing when I left Albuquerque. The little piece of paper Sadie had given me was still in the pocket. I gathered up the rest of the dirty clothes and a clean outfit. I wasn’t about to change my clothes in front of Derek, guy or not. I’d change in the bathroom.

  Washing up and getting dressed didn’t take long. I intended to call Sadie as soon as I was finished, then remembered the time difference. It wasn’t even six-thirty in the morning yet where she was. Even if she wanted to hear from me, she probably wouldn’t appreciate me waking her. I stuck the phone number in my jeans pocket and headed back to my room.

  Derek and Garrett were standing in the hall. I wouldn’t have had a chance to call Sadie anyway. I walked over to them. “Time for my instructions?”

  “If that’s how you want to think of them,” Garrett said. “Lauren’s waiting for us downstairs. She’ll be with us while I answer your questions.”

  “Why?” Lauren must have already known everything about the place.

  “None of the adults is ever alone with one of us,” Derek said. “It’s one of the rules. They want to make sure nothing ‘inappropriate’ happens, and no one can say something happened if it didn’t.”

  They must have set that rule at least partly because of Shad and Royce. “That makes sense.”

  “We’ll have breakfast in there,” Garrett said. “This may take a while, depending on how many questions you have. Royce and Shad both said you’re curious.” He smiled.

  “I’ll see you later,” Derek said. “I should catch up with Treese and find out what she wanted to talk to me about.”

  He glanced at me and raised his eyebrows. I read it as him asking me not to mention Treese had been in our room earlier. I nodded and followed Garrett downstairs.

  The girl waiting outside Garrett’s office could have stepped off the cover of one of the teen magazines I’d seen in the supermarket. Long straight brown hair, big brown eyes, and clothes right out of a catalog. She wasn’t beautiful like Mireille. More down-to-earth pretty. She lit up the room, though, and I wanted to just sit beside her and soak in her presence.

  I tried to tell myself I was being stupid. She probably wouldn’t be interested in a trans guy, and even on the unlikely chance she would be, this place obviously had a bunch of rules to make sure no one had relationships with anyone else.

  “Kellan, this is Lauren,” Garrett said. “She’s another resident here. Come on in.” He opened his office door and the smells of pancakes and bacon wafted out.

  Lauren closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Ah. Royce must be cooking today.” She opened her eyes. “Sorry. Nice to meet you, Kellan. I wasn’t ignoring you.”

  “I know. You were distracted by the shiny smells.”

  She laughed. She had these cute little dimples at the corners of her mouth. “Yeah, that’s it.”

  We went inside. The top of the desk had been cleared of papers and stuff. Those had been replaced by three empty plates, a platter of pancakes, a platter of bacon, silverware, and glasses of orange juice. I hated orange juice, but I appreciated the thought. “Wow. I hope I don’t drop crumbs on the carpet.”

  Lauren laughed again, which was exactly what I’d hoped would happen. I might not have been able to do anything about being attracted to her, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy looking at her. I loved the sound of her laugh.

  “You’re going to be fun to have around,” she said.

  “If he stays.” Garrett motioned at the armchairs. “Have a seat and dig in. As long as you don’t talk with your mouths full, we can talk while we eat.”

  “Is that another house rule?” I asked.

  “No,” Lauren said. “He just gets grossed out when people chew with their mouths open.”

  We sat down, and Garrett sat behind the desk. I wasn’t sure if it was okay to start eating, so I waited until they’d taken some pancakes and bacon before I took mine. My stomach roared, and my mouth watered. I hadn’t eaten anything since dinner o
n the train the night before, and the food here smelled way better than the stuff the dining car had.

  “I’ll give you a little overview, Kellan. Then you can ask whatever you want.” Garrett took a drink of his orange juice. “I also have some questions for you about what happened before you came here. I can’t talk to you without someone else present, but if you’d rather have Royce or Derek here instead of Lauren to answer those questions, we can try to arrange it.”

  “Lauren’s okay.” He probably figured I wouldn’t be comfortable with her because I’d just met her, but he was wrong. I was already more comfortable with her than with him. It was partly instinct and partly because she was so pretty.

  “All right.” He looked at me. “You can eat, Kellan.”

  “Um, yeah.” I poured some syrup onto my pancakes and took a bite. They were even better than the ones my mother made. Now I understood why Lauren had been excited about Royce being the one to cook.

  The phone I hadn’t noticed before on the windowsill behind the desk rang. Garrett glanced at it. “Someone else will answer that. Kellan, as I told you last night, this is a sort of safe house for people with psychic abilities, especially teens and younger adults. There are a lot of reasons someone might be forced out of their home, but it seems a lot of us with abilities end up on the street for one reason or another.”

  “I got kicked out because….” Lauren trailed off and looked at her fingers.

  “You don’t have to tell me,” I said quickly. I didn’t want to upset her.

  “Maybe some other time,” she said.

  Garrett sighed and shook his head. I wasn’t sure she noticed. He waited a few seconds, then continued telling me about the place.

  They’d gotten grants and gifts from people with psychic powers who had money and wanted to help. The house itself had been one of the gifts. The most people they ever had living there was twelve, including Garrett, Mireille, and Royce, who ran the place and were officially listed with state agencies as foster parents. If they had more kids who needed places to stay, other members of the group in the Boston area were licensed foster parents and took people in.