Summa Risus: Collected Non-Fiction

by R. A. Lafferty

  The Senators who had been honestly deceived now saw how the affair lay, but they saw it with bitterness. Others who had always understood, but who had held their peace till the foolish storm should have subsided, now came forward and pushed aside the synthetic leadership. They voted the appropriation for Alaric, and Stilicho carried the day. But they never forgave the Master General for the vehemence of his counterattack. The fiction that they were still the power of the world had been very dear to them.

  The four thousand pounds of gold voted to Alaric was never paid, however, due to intervening circumstances.

  Stilicho had won a victory more damaging than any defeat; and Olympius and Solinas must have rubbed their hands in glee at the delicious defeat of their own party in this matter. The anti-German spirit was fueled in earnest. The Romans did not mind being defended and maintained by outlanders so long as they could continue the fiction that they were the masters; they had now been told too bluntly that they were not.

  After this, the award voted but still not delivered, the ambassadors from Alaric met with Stilicho and the Emperor Honorius in Ravenna. An agreement was reached. It was decided that Alaric should immediately take his army into Gaul against the usurper Emperor Constantine. Should he be able to dispose of this pretender, and Alaric had no doubt at all about being able to do so, the Empire would be almost secure. The Goths would as soon spend a season in Gaul as anywhere; and they had broken stronger forces than this Briton-Roman aggregation, and without unduly advertising the fact. The Goths had been growing stronger by the year, and now considered themselves invincible.

  But once more fate intervened—as it is its business to do. The Emperor Arcadius of the East, the brother of Emperor Honorius, died on May Day of the year 408. The disposal of the Eastern Regency now took the attention of the West.

  Olympius took advantage of this unsettling death, and changed the emphasis of his vilification against Stilicho, which was already having effect in the mind of Honorius. Olympius convinced Honorius that Stilicho had had his brother Arcadius murdered. He showed him documents purporting to prove this. It does not matter what Olympius showed him, for Honorius could not read, though he had great respect for the written word. Olympius produced other documents supposed to show the intent of Stilicho to have Honorius himself murdered. Eucherius, the undistinguished son of Stilicho, would then be placed on the throne of the East, and then of the West also. Honorius had always been envious of his contemporary Eucherius, as being a brighter boy and most often in the same household with himself; though Eucherius was a very ordinary young man and something of a disappointment to Stilicho. These suggestions, implanted by Olympius, fermented in the limited mind of the Emperor Honorius.

  Honorius, at the instigation of Olympius, announced that he would go to Constantinople and appoint a guardian for his nephew, the seven-year-old Theodosius the Second, the son of the dead Arcadius. Stilicho coolly forbade Honorius to take the trip, stating that he, Stilicho, would take care of everything. Stilicho already had the triumvirate of Singerich, Fravitta, and Anthemius to act as guardians to the new boy Emperor. He now sent dispatches to these three telling them what he expected of them. At the same time he sent word to Alaric to remain in his buffer province to guard against possible disturbances in the East; and to defer the campaign against Constantine to another season.

  But it was at that moment, in being forbidden the trip to Constantinople, that Honorius finally slipped away from Stilicho. Olympius had been impressing on Honorius that he was completely without power under the thumb of Stilicho; and that he must assert his rightful power. Stilicho, worried about affairs, had been unnecessarily blunt with the Emperor; though heretofore he had always made a point of being gentle, though firm, with him. Honorius was now a man of twenty-five, and Olympius succeeded in awakening resentment in him. The Emperor also had a fear for his own safety, engendered by the fantastic accusations of Olympius against Stilicho. Now Olympius, understanding his subject, added another note.

  Stilicho, Olympius told Honorius, was an irreligious man who intended (as soon as he had murdered him, Honorius) to reinstate paganism and suppress the Church. Honorius was shocked by this. He was a very religious Christian boy, for boy he was in spite of his twenty-five years. He forgot for the moment that it was Stilicho who had brought him up so religiously, and who had instilled in him the Faith. Honorius was in genuine horror that Stilicho should suppress the Church—after killing him, the Emperor. He was shocked that Stilicho had dealt treasonably with the barbarian invader—the General Alaric who had been his own friend—Honorius may not have realized that they were of the same identity. Honorius was completely bewildered by these various charges against his guardian and father-in-law; but the important thing is that he began to believe them.

  Olympius had realized early that Honorius was of very short memory, that he always believed the last thing he had been told. And Olympius made a point of telling Honorius a certain series of things many times a day.

  Olympius now decided, for the furtherance of his plot, to take the Emperor Honorius on a tour. He decided on this suddenly in the absence of Stilicho. He would take Honorius to the great staging town of Pavia where the anti-German movement had made much progress and where Olympius himself was very strong. This was one city that Stilicho did not want Honorius to visit.

  The whereabouts of Stilicho at this particular time is not known. He still made very rapid journeys alone to various parts of the Empire. He may have gone to visit Alaric in Noricum, where Alaric waited at the furthest extent of his own territory. Stilicho still held Alaric in readiness on the borders of Italy; for possible movement to the East should there be trouble in the transition there; for possible movement into Italy should real trouble develop—for Stilicho had also smelled the change in the wind. Or Stilicho may have gone to Constantinople to see about the transition personally.

  The journey of Honorius and Olympius to Pavia was undertaken. They were escorted by a detachment of Roman troops from which every vestige of Stilicho's influence had been purged. At this point there is a slight confusion in the recorded history.

  One source states that the Goth Sarus caused a mutiny of the Imperial troops in the fortress city of Ravenna, where he is never mentioned as having being stationed, where his influence would have been less than almost anywhere, and which city Honorius and Olympius would have just left. No outcome of this action is mentioned, and no other source alludes to it at all.

  But other sources recount a riot, or at least a disturbance, among the troops at Bologna at this same time, with no leader mentioned. It is probably that the two accounts must be combined to arrive near the truth.

  There was certainly a disturbance at Bologna. There is no real evidence of one in the Court City of Ravenna. And the disturbance at Bologna seems to have the hand marks of Sarus all over it, though he is not there mentioned by name.

  It was the day before the arrival of the Emperor Honorius and his new and still unofficial minister Olympius, the Greek Master of Court. It was a lightning-like daylight raid carried out by less than fifty men—the sort of raid that Sarus had led several times before and would lead again, one of them the final one that led to his capture and murder.

  The less than fifty men and their unidentified leader, who was almost certainly Sarus, struck through thousands of armed men into the center of the staging area where there was a practice assembly for the welcome of the Emperor; swiftly killed a score of men; and rode out again, losing about half their own number dead in the action. One account states that the raiders were masked.

  The men killed had all been high men of Olympius, intruded into Bologna by Solinas, except two of them. Two of the men murdered were supposedly key men of Stilicho, very competent and trusted by the great Master General all the way. But these two trusted men had either been subverted and turned against Stilicho, or at least Sarus—if he was the leader of the raid—believed that they had been.

  It is disputed whether the move
of Sarus, in view of final happenings, was a wise one. Sarus was solidly for Stilicho and the Empire, and he had posted his warning of sudden death for all traitors to the cause. But Bologna could never have been subverted, and the twenty men would not have mattered. This raid was used as a pretext for a counter-massacre, which had likely already been planned, however.

  The Emperor Honorius in coming into Bologna the next day did not understand the report of what had happened. Olympius was furious at the murder of his picked men, and yet perhaps secretly pleased. He now had tenuous justification for his coming act, which he had almost certainly planned before the provocation.

  The Emperor Honorius was treated with respect and shown every honor by the soldiers of Bologna, who were solidly Stilicho's men after the killing of the few subversives. Honorius was their legitimate Emperor, and no troops were more devoted to the Empire than those of the staging area of Bologna. Olympius, the unofficial new minister, was given a chilly reception, however. The great military men looked through him and not at him; they did not deign to notice him or to answer his direct questions; and they disarmed his Roman bodyguard, stating that they would return their weapons to them when they left the city, but not before. Moreover Olympius was drenched with a bucket of offal from a high place in the town, in an unfortunate accident.

  It was for this reason that Olympius and the Emperor Honorius remained in Bologna no more than a day, and may even have left on the day of their arrival. Honorius would have liked to remain a while. There was the promise of fine riding with some of the best horsemen in the world, and riding was one of the few talents of the Emperor. He also liked the company of soldiers, to be around them and their harness; to talk to the common troopers, who abashed him less than did the generals. There were many minds as boyish as Honorius' own among the common soldiers of the predominantly German forces, and they had a liking for the young Emperor.

  Olympius would have none of it. In fear of his life he hurried the Emperor along to Pavia. He would not feel safe until he was within the confines of that place with its soldiery more Roman than German, and where Solinas had done his work of intrusion and subversion so well. It is more than a hundred and twenty-five miles between Bologna and Pavia, and the retinue covered the distance within five days.

  The Roman troops of the entourage, who could be disarmed and rearmed by the German forces at their pleasure, likewise went in fear of their lives.

  On the day after Olympius and the Emperor Honorius had left Bologna, hurrying on towards Pavia, Stilicho himself arrived in Bologna: Stilicho the Quercus Romae, the Oak of Rome. He had come to investigate the reports of the raid; knowing what had happened; knowing that he would not be able to get a true report from any of them of what had happened. The men of Bologna were strongly loyal to Stilicho, and there was a tacit understanding in these matters.

  But Stilicho did reaffirm that the person of the Emperor Honorius must be considered as inviolate, no matter what should occur. Honorius was their rightful Emperor even though he should fall under tainted influence, and he was to be considered the personification of the Empire itself.

  On the day following the arrival of Olympius and Honorius in Pavia there occurred the revenge that had been planned before the act. The predominantly Roman and cosmopolitan troops, with their German minority, were drawn up for Imperial Revue. Suddenly at a signal—some say it was a word from Olympius himself, some that it was the squeal of a fife or the blast of a trumpet—picked Roman soldiers surrounded the prominent men of Stilicho, and struck them dead.

  Then the whole army broke ranks and went on a two day orgy of slaughter. Every Goth, Vandal, Lombard or other German was hunted down and killed. Even those Germans who had been subverted to the party of Olympius and Solinas were killed, for the new minister did not believe in leaving any loose ends.

  The Emperor Honorius wandered through the streets and areas of Pavia for the two days of the slaughter, not understanding what it was about, begging the soldiers to stop the killing. He was a good boy, and he disliked bloodshed and cruelty. It illustrates his peculiar position that he was never in personal danger from the soldiers of either faction. They set him gently aside when he tried to intervene. He was retarded, almost moronic, but he was their Emperor.

  Pavia, when the slaughter had finished, was a completely Roman camp, voided of all Germanic and outlander influence. And it was entirely the town of Olympius and his faction.

  It would seem that Olympius had overreached himself. He had Pavia; but Stilicho had Bologna, which blocked the roads both to the Court City of Ravenna, and to the old Imperial City of Rome. Stilicho had much the more powerful and battle-worthy forces; he had the routes and resources; he had Italy below him; he had Alaric on the north-east border of Italy with his control of Illyricum, and his control—with the triumvirate—of the East.

  In a civil war, the party of Olympius would not have a chance. Olympius had only the forces of Pavia itself. He could draw on nothing. Gaul at his back, and Spain through Gaul, were controlled by the pretender Emperor Constantine.

  But Olympius had not overreached himself. He had risen to power by his complete understanding of one mind, that of the retarded Emperor Honorius. But he also had a near-perfect understanding of another mind, that of the great Master General Stilicho. Olympius knew how Stilicho would react to the next move; but the great soldiers of Stilicho's party did not understand one aspect of their chief at all. They were ignorant of the extent to which Stilicho considered the person of the Emperor and the word of the Emperor sacred, even when the Emperor was his own sorry creature.

  Olympius drafted an order and had the Emperor Honorius sign it. Honorius was always honored to write his name, for he could write nothing else. It was a command for Stilicho to report to the Court City of Ravenna at once to answer charges of treason. Olympius also sent secret orders to his own men in control of the city of Ravenna; in particular to Count Heraclian, a powerful man who was no lover of Stilicho; orders instructing the men what was expected of them.

  Meanwhile, Stilicho, on hearing of the massacre in Pavia, ordered to assemble in Bologna all the generals of Germanic blood. These came and consulted with him, and waited their decision.

  Stilicho ascertained that the massacre had not been against the Emperor; that the person of the Emperor Honorius was safe. To Stilicho, but not to the assembly of generals, this put a different complexion on the affair.

  The assembled generals advised Stilicho that there was but one thing to do, or two variants of the one thing. They could march at once against Pavia; take the town; and put to death Olympius and his adherents. They would protect the Emperor Honorius if possible, though knowing that Olympius would use him as a shield.

  Or they would immediately declare Stilicho Emperor—a move that they believed was long overdue. When a dynasty is no longer competently represented, they said, then there is nothing but to raise a praetorian Emperor to restore the realm. The need of it had cried out. Even the British legions, in raising Constantine to the purple, had had much right on their side. They felt that a weak Emperor was intolerable.

  With Stilicho declared Emperor, then, several of the generals would move in force to settle the business in Pavia, with no particular care now of the deposed Emperor Honorius. And Stilicho could ride with another force to Rome to be confirmed as Emperor by the Senate; and he might then set up Court either in Rome or Milan or Ravenna.

  It was clear enough as the generals put it; but Stilicho hesitated. They looked at him in amazement; and he showed no agreement to the one thing that had to be done. Modesty was no part of the generals and no part of Stilicho. His time had come, and there was no call for hesitation.

  But Stilicho seemed in a daze. He was in such a state, and from it he would never emerge in his life. Above all, he had a horror of civil war, which he considered a desecration of the Empire. He had, which nobody understood, a mystic devotion to the person and office of the Emperor, though it was his own personal creation that
he was devoted to. He would never be able to overcome it; nor to see himself as Emperor. He had devoted his entire life to the defense of the Empire, and in so doing he had become imbued with unalterable ideas.

  It is possible that, from this time on, Stilicho was mentally deranged. Sarus and the other generals had seen slight signs of it when they had sent for Alaric. Stilicho was an old soldier who had spent his talents lavishly, and had never spared himself in any way. For many years he had spent eighteen- and twenty-hour days in the field; in the saddle; at his desk. Many have testified to the incredible extent to which he drove himself at work. He suffered from diseases, fatigues of campaign, and fevers; and he had been wounded more than a dozen times. He said once that he had forgotten how to sleep. An old head wound, that which had blinded him in one eye and left a piece of iron lodged in his brain, may have caught up with him; that, and other things.

  Stilicho had been depressed and puzzled by the attacks of Olympius on his character that had come to him. Olympius had caused one of his Senators to cry out “Quare ergo rubrum est indumentum tuum?”—“Why then is thy apparel red, and thy garments like them that tread in the wine press?”—the Biblical verses following that from which Stilicho had taken his motto. But the garments of Stilicho were not particularly soaked in blood; and every drop that he had shed was in defense of the Empire.