One Child

by Barbara Cameron

  Sarah glanced surreptitiously at the clock. It was already one in the morning, and the storm showed no sign of letting up.

  Jason turned around to see Kate standing in the doorway.

  “My stomach is cramping,” she said.

  He led her to a kitchen chair. “Maybe it’s just upset. We’ve eaten a lot today, between dinner at your mom’s and here.”

  Kate pressed her hands to each side of her abdomen. Her face took on an inward look that Sarah had seen before—at the bedside of two friends giving birth.

  Crossing the room, Sarah knelt beside Kate. “Tell me what it feels like.”

  “Hmm?” Kate focused on Sarah’s face. “Sort of a bunching feeling.”

  “Jason might be right. Add in the stress of the storm, and you might just be having stomach upset. Heartburn, you know, that kind of thing.”

  Jason paced the room, checking his cell phone. “This is making me nuts!” he muttered. “We need to get her to a hospital.”

  Sarah looked at David, then at Jason, then at David again.

  David touched Jason’s arm and motioned him toward the other room.

  “I don’t know much about having a baby,” David began. “But I think the calmer we keep your wife, the better, don’t you? If she gets herself worked up, well, it just seems to me she’ll make herself feel worse.”

  “You’re right.” Jason raked his hands through his hair. “I know you’re right. But you’re asking me to calm her down when I’m freaking out myself. The baby’s not due for another couple weeks.”

  David nodded thoughtfully. “Well then, let’s just hope that it’s like Sarah said. Stomach upset or heartburn. But in any case, Sarah will know what to do.”

  “She’s a nurse?” Jason asked, looking hopeful.

  “No. But she’s been with two friends who had babies, and she was raised on a farm. She’ll know what to do,” David repeated.

  “C’mon, man, women and cows aren’t the same.”

  “But the birthing process is much the same. Right?”

  Jason looked over his shoulder. “You’re probably right. But I don’t think Kate should hear us saying so!”

  “I’m feeling a little anxious,” Kate admitted to Sarah.

  “There’s nothing to be anxious about.”

  “How can you say that? Have you had a baby?”

  Pain stabbed Sarah in the heart. “No.”

  “Then don’t tell me I shouldn’t feel that way,” Kate muttered. Biting her lip, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be short. I’m just worried. What if I go into labor and we can’t get help?”

  “Then I’ll help you.”

  Kate’s face cleared. “You’re a nurse?”

  Sarah shook her head. “But I know a lot about birth. I grew up on a farm. I helped my father with a lot of births.”

  “I’m not a cow!”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean it that way,” Sarah rushed to say. “But birth is a natural process.”

  “Epidural,” muttered Kate. “No one should have to do without an epidural. Jason and I have been doing Lamaze classes. Natural childbirth is one thing, but I want an epidural on hand if I need it. The instructor says I can ask for it, no problem.” She shifted to get comfortable. “Do the Amish have their babies at home?”

  Sarah smiled. “Sometimes. I was with one friend when she had her baby at home. But many Plain women have their babies in the hospital just like Englischers. I was a birth coach for a cousin at a hospital when her husband was badly hurt in a buggy accident and couldn’t be with her.”

  “Oh.”

  Kate had stopped rubbing at one side of her abdomen.

  “How’s the cramping?”

  “It stopped.” She blinked in surprise and then grinned at Sarah. “Cool.”

  Sarah smiled and sent up a silent prayer of thanks. “Gut.” Glancing at the window, she made a decision. “This storm isn’t stopping anytime soon, and you’re tired. Why don’t we get you and your husband settled in the guest bedroom? I think some rest will do you both good.”

  “I hate that we’re putting you to so much trouble.”

  “It’s no trouble at all.”

  That way David could get some rest too, thought Sarah, as she showed Kate and Jason to their room. Kate was already in nightclothes, so David went to get pajamas and a robe for Jason.

  “Just call if you need anything,” Sarah told them, and was surprised when Kate suddenly hugged her.

  “We appreciate this so much, we can’t tell you,” Jason said, slipping his arm around his wife.

  Sarah smiled. “Gern schöna.”

  Jason raised his eyebrows in question.

  “So willingly done,” she translated. “We are happy to have you here.”

  Chapter Four

  When David walked into the kitchen, Sarah was at the sink, washing the coffee mugs and humming one of the Christmas hymns they had sung earlier that night.

  The kitchen was her favorite room. He often found her humming as she did chores or bent over her lesson plans spread out on the kitchen table.

  “So, our guests are all settled for the night. Maybe now we can get some sleep.”

  “I’ll be up in a minute.”

  “Can’t you do that in the morning?” When she merely glanced at him, he laughed. “Of course you can’t.”

  Smiling, she finished drying the last mug and put it in the cupboard. “You can’t walk away from your work area without putting away your tools either.”

  “True.” He yawned. “I hope you can get some rest.”

  “I should be tired, but I’m not.”

  Moving to her side, he rubbed her shoulders as she wiped out the sink. “I know. I feel the same.”

  The shoulder rub felt wonderful, but Sarah frowned. “I was a little worried there when Kate said she was feeling cramping. You and I are used to witnessing birth, but Jason and Kate are used to city life. Birth only happens in a hospital.” She paused. “What’ll we do if Kate does go into labor?”

  “We’ll cope,” David told her with a confidence he didn’t feel inside. This was “woman stuff,” and what man knew what to do about it? “She’ll need our help, and we can’t let her down. I’m afraid Jason won’t be much help.”

  They were silent for a long time, staring out the kitchen window at the snow pounding against the glass.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked after a long moment.

  “I’m not proud of what I’m thinking.” She tried to turn away, but he wouldn’t let her. “Oh, David, I envy Kate. She’s having a baby, and I want one. I want us to have a baby.”

  He gathered her into his arms, comforting her. “Shh, it’s all right.”

  “No, it’s not,” she insisted, once again getting tears all over his shoulder. “It’s a sin to envy.”

  “We’re human, Sarah. We’re not perfect.”

  She leaned back in his arms and reached into her apron pocket for her handkerchief. Shaking her head, she wiped her eyes. “I am most definitely not perfect.”

  “You are to me.” When she started to pull away, he held on. “Except when you try to push me away. I grieve too, Sarah, and I need you.”

  She went still. “You’ve never said that before.”

  “It’s not always easy for me to talk about such things.” He took a deep breath. “But I do need you, Sarah. I need you, and I love you, and I want you to be happy again. We need to have faith,” he told her seriously. “I believe we will have another child because I believe God wants us to have that gift. He isn’t giving it to us this Christmas as he didn’t last Christmas. But one day.”

  “I wish I had your faith.”

  He took her hand and placed it on his chest, holding it there. “Borrow some from my heart, dear Sarah.”

  She threw her arms around him and held him. “I love you. And I need you, too.”

  This time when she drew back, it wasn’t to pull away. It was to raise herself up on tiptoes to kiss
him.

  “Oh, uh, I’m sorry,” Jason stammered. He rapped an elbow on the doorjamb as he tried to back out of the room.

  “It’s all right,” Sarah said.

  “I—I didn’t mean to intrude on a private moment.”

  “It’s all right,” Sarah repeated.

  “I didn’t think that—well, I thought . . .” He stopped and turned beet red.

  David laughed. “Do you think we find our children under a cabbage?”

  Jason turned even redder. “I—uh, I never thought about it. I—”

  Laughing, Sarah moved away from David. “Don’t let my husband tease you. Did you need something?”

  “No, I was just going into the bathroom and I heard voices. I thought you had gone to bed.”

  “We’re about to. Sarah was washing the coffee mugs.”

  “Kate can’t go to bed if there’s a glass in the sink either,” Jason told them. “Well then, I’ll say good night. Thanks again for everything.”

  David turned to Sarah. “Ready to go upstairs?”

  “Just another minute or two.”

  Sarah was hanging up the dish towel to dry when Kate walked into the kitchen. “Notice how the men are always missing when it comes to kitchen work?” she asked wryly.

  “Actually, David sometimes helps, although kitchen work isn’t his favorite,” Sarah told her.

  “You should see the way Jason loads the dishwasher. I always have to do it again. Of course, I tend to be a little Type A.”

  “Type A?”

  “Perfectionist.” She wandered to look out the window, then turned and looked back at Sarah. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to keep you up.”

  “Is there something else I can get for you?” Tilting her head to one side, Sarah studied Kate. “Another pillow or quilt? Some warm milk?”

  “I just couldn’t get comfortable,” Kate admitted. “Not like I was on your sofa.”

  “Then would you like to sleep there?”

  “Would you mind?”

  Sarah laughed. “No, when I’m having trouble sleeping, it’s my favorite place too.”

  Jason appeared as Kate was heading back to the living room. “I thought we were going to bed.”

  “Sarah says I can sleep on the sofa since I’m more comfortable there.”

  “Whatever the pregnant woman wants,” he murmured, casting his eyes heavenward. “You never know what makes them happy. Or when. Ice cream just when I’ve settled down to watch sports on ESPN. Back rubs at 3:00 a.m.”

  “Oh, you have it so rough,” Kate retorted, winking at Sarah. “How’d you like to carry The Belly for a while?”

  “Kate, you don’t mind if I sleep in the other room?” Jason asked.

  She smiled at the hope in his voice. “No. I’ll be fine.”

  “See you in the morning.” He kissed her and left.

  Kate snuggled up beneath the quilt. “Oh, this is lovely. We haven’t had a fire in our new fireplace yet. Jason keeps saying he doesn’t want to mess it up, and if I’m cold I should turn up the heat. But there’s just something so soothing about a real, burning fire, isn’t there?”

  Sarah had never experienced electric heating, but she knew what Kate meant. “I’ll just turn down the lamp.”

  “It looks so pretty in here, smells like Christmas. I love this room.” She gestured at the book beside the lamp. “What were you reading?”

  “The Bible. My uncle always reads us the Christmas story from the book of Matthew.” Sarah waited. “Can I do anything else for you?”

  “I know it’s selfish of me, but would you mind sitting with me for a few minutes?”

  “Of course not.” Sarah sank down into the chair by the fire.

  “Tell me about how you celebrate Christmas. You said you had friends and family over this afternoon?”

  “We have two days of Christmas. The first one is about the spiritual side, about the birth of Jesus. Second Christmas, the second day, is when we exchange presents.”

  “Here, I thought you might like this,” Jason said, coming back with an extra pillow for his wife. “So where does Santa leave the presents, if you don’t have a Christmas tree?”

  “We don’t have Santa.”

  “Good call,” Kate muttered.

  Jason stared at her. “What are you saying? You think having Santa is wrong?”

  Kate tucked the pillow he’d brought her under her tummy, then drew the quilt up over her. “I think it can set up a whole set of expectations, Jason. We’ve both seen our nephews watching all those commercials pushing toys, and then they do nothing but harangue their parents to get them.”

  “But they’re kids—”

  “Who grow up to want more and more things.”

  “This is about the TV again.”

  “We didn’t need another one. We just bought one two years ago.” She glanced at Sarah, then back at her husband. “We’ll talk about it later.”

  “Right. See you both in the morning.”

  “Sorry,” Kate told Sarah as Jason left the room quickly. “We’ve been having a—discussion lately.”

  “We have those.”

  “Really? You and David seem to get along so well.”

  Sarah didn’t reply, and Kate continued.

  “The two of us were already kind of stressed lately,” Kate was saying. “We just moved into a new house we had built. I couldn’t help much, being pregnant and trying to catch up on work before I go on maternity leave. Then there was all the getting ready for the holidays, the shopping and plans and everything.” She cast a fearful glance at the window. “And now this snowstorm’s just got me nervous. I didn’t expect to be stranded somewhere and have Mr. Baby start acting like he wanted to come out.”

  “Try to stay calm,” Sarah told her. “Everything will be fine.”

  Kate sighed. “You’re amazing, Sarah. I really believe that when you say it.”

  Sarah smiled. “Most of the things we worry about don’t happen.”

  “True,” Kate agreed. She relaxed against her pillow. “I tend to be a worrywart.”

  Sarah tilted her head to one side and studied Kate. “I always wondered what one looked like. Now I know.”

  It took a minute for her words to sink in, and then Kate laughed. “No, I look more like a beached whale.” She shifted again. “I know it sounds like a negative quality—the worrying, I mean—but it helps me think of the worst-case scenario, you see, and then I prepare for it.”

  “How does that help you?”

  “Well, a lot of people think an attorney needs to know how to argue, and Jason would tell you I certainly know how to do that.” She regarded Sarah. “I can see you’re trying not to smile.”

  “Well, um, it was interesting the way the two of you, um, discussed a television set a moment ago.”

  “I read that husbands and wives spend just twelve minutes a day talking to each other, and I can believe it. Jason makes me nuts with his watching television. Absolutely nuts. You should be glad you don’t have a TV, Sarah. Husbands can’t tear themselves away from it. Especially during sports. I swear, Jason actually told me that if I go into labor during a football game, I’ll have to wait for halftime before he drives me to the hospital!”

  “I guess we’re protected from that,” Sarah agreed. “But surely he was joking.”

  “He’d better be.”

  Sarah thought about how much she and David used to talk and longed for the day when the ease they used to have would be there again.

  “Televisions may be one negative by-product of electricity, that’s for sure.” Kate thought for a moment. “But there are some really wonderful things that use it that save me a lot of time. Like a washer and dryer. And a dishwasher.”

  Sarah pulled the throw she kept on the chair around her shoulders. “What do you do with the time you save?”

  Kate opened her mouth and then shut it. “Well, more work, actually. Like paperwork for my job.” She frowned. “Don’t you mind that you have to work
so hard to take care of your home when it could be easier?”

  “This is the way I’ve always known,” Sarah said simply, holding up her hands and then letting them fall into her lap. “And there’s a joy in doing a job, isn’t there? In staying in the moment while you’re doing it, and doing it well, for the sake of the work?” She leaned back in her chair. “I enjoy thinking about my day as I do dishes.”

  “I never thought about it. I rush around so much.” Kate fell silent. Absently she rubbed at her abdomen. “Even with the baby,” she murmured.

  The room was so quiet Sarah could hear the flames licking at the wood, the ticking of the grandfather clock.

  “Do you know there are women in my firm who have scheduled Cesareans so that they don’t miss an important meeting at the office?” Kate said suddenly.

  “You mean, they plan when they have their babies?”

  Kate nodded. “I have a friend who’s a college professor. When she was hired, her department chair told her they encouraged their female professors to have their babies in the summer when they didn’t have to teach class.”

  “But you can’t plan babies.” And I know that so well.

  “Exactly!” Kate frowned. “That’s why I was getting so upset with this one,” she said. “I mean, I’ve been so careful about everything, eating right, going to my checkups, staying in town. The one time, the absolute one time I go a couple of hours away to see my mother, the baby decides to make me nervous he’s going to come.”

  A little shiver of fear crept up Sarah’s spine. “But you’re not having contractions?”

  “No. Tell me something.”

  “Sure, what?”

  “You’re not at all what I expected. I mean, I expected the way you dress, all that. But . . .” She held up her hands, obviously searching for words.

  “But you’ve been wondering when I’m going to start spouting verses from the Bible and trying to convert you?”

  Kate reddened. “Oh, Sarah, I—”

  Sarah smiled. “We’re very private people. We don’t believe in converting others. All we want is to live our lives the way we’ve done for hundreds of years.”

  “I’m surprised you and David let us in.”

  “We would never turn away someone who needed help,” Sarah said simply. “I admit I was a little afraid when your husband first knocked on the door. We’ve never had someone do that at night.” She stopped and, laughing, shook her head.