Rebellion Project

by Sara Schoen

  She said that I had a choice, but in what? Does that mean I can go with her? Does it mean that she’s not upset with me for lying, and that she forgives me? I couldn’t be sure, but I didn’t want to stand around with my father and let my mother walk out without me. So I followed after her, but when I got to the door, my father called me.

  “Lauren, I swear it was a one-time thing.” I could hear the sorrow in his words, but they didn’t make me feel bad for him. He did it to himself.

  “It didn’t look like a one-time thing to me. Even if it was, how can I trust you after you lied to her face? I’m with her,” I stated as I walked out and shut the door behind me.

  I could hear my mother crying downstairs, and felt grief wash over me as I went to find her. I followed the weeping until I found her in the laundry room, packing clothes into one of the suitcases we stored in the closet. My heart broke as I watched her suffer. Her shoulders were shaking violently, and her voice cracked with each cry. No one should have to go through this pain, especially not alone.

  I tentatively reached my arms out and embraced her. My presence surprised her. She jumped back instantly and her hands automatically went to her heart in shock. She let out a deep breath before turning to me. I cringed at the sight of her tear-stained face, and the bleak look in her eyes. She was hurting, and there was nothing I could do to make it stop.

  “Mom, please don’t leave,” I begged. “You shouldn’t have to leave; he should.”

  She offered me a forced smile as she lightly stroked my cheek. “I can’t stay here and sleep in a bed where he had another woman, Lauren,” she said, pausing to let me absorb what she said and why it had to be this way. “I’m leaving. He wouldn’t leave this house, and I can’t stay. I know this is a shock to you, but I’ve known for a while. He wouldn’t admit it. He knew what would happen, so I’m leaving and you should come with me.”

  “Are you sure you want me to go with you?”

  “He’s made every choice for you growing up, Lauren. I heard Parker saying you don’t have an aspiration to be a doctor anymore, and you shouldn’t feel pressured.” She paused, and I realized that even though I tried to keep Parker quiet my mom had still heard us. I should have known she would, she always knew. Parents weren’t as stupid and ridiculous as television made them out to be. “You should have spoken up about not wanting to be a doctor. I thought you wanted to become one, but it wouldn’t have mattered to me one way or another. I want you to be happy. I want you to have a good life, that’s why I push you.”

  “I was happy making you both happy,” I responded without thinking. It had become so natural after a while that the line slipped out.

  “I know, honey, but it’s time to make yourself happy. I’m leaving, and you’re free to come with me, but you only have a few minutes to decide. I’m going to grab the last of what I need for tonight, and then I’m going to your grandmother’s house until everything is settled.”

  “I don’t know what to do, Mom. I just don’t know.” I rarely made decisions, I let others make them for me. I hated having to choose for small things, like where to go for dinner, so how could I make a big one like this on my own?

  “I’m sorry, Lauren, but this is a choice I can’t, and won’t, make for you. It’s time for you to start making your own decisions, and to do that I have to make you pick. Think about what happened, how we reacted, and what was said, then decide for yourself. Just remember that no matter what you choose, neither of us will be mad at you,” she stated as she zipped up the suitcase and walked out of the room without another word.

  I watched her walk into the hallway, and heard her set down her suitcase before going upstairs. I could only imagine how the interaction with my parents was going to go after what happened tonight. Tonight had changed everything. How I viewed my father, and how I saw the rules he set for me, and because of it I was going to have to change. After today, I couldn’t blindly follow what he told me anymore. How could I when he couldn’t practice what he preached?

  The only problem was I was going to have to break nearly seventeen years of rules, starting with this choice, but it was a decision I needed to make. I didn’t have any idea how it would turn out, but I knew what I was going to do.

  Chapter 5

  Screw You

  Parker walked with me to class as I filled her in on what was happening while my mother filed for divorce. She wanted updates the night it happened, but I refused to give them to her after she ditched me. Almost a month had passed since I walked in on my father and his girlfriend, and now my mom and I were moved into a new house and starting over. I was so busy I couldn’t fill in Parker fully, so now she was begging me for updates as I went to class. She would be late to hers, but she didn’t care. I, on the other hand, had to be on time to mine.

  “I’m so glad you decided to live with your mom, Lauren. I’ve really noticed a change in you lately,” Parker stated as we walked through the hallways. I thought it was best to continue this conversation as privately as possible, but in high school you never got that pleasure. I felt awful for choosing between my parents because no matter who I chose, one would get hurt. It was a lose-lose situation for me, but once I listened to what my mother told me, the choice became a breeze. I didn’t want to be around my father for many reasons, starting and ending with him demanding perfect behavior from me at all times, and my mom had offered me something I never experienced before; freedom.

  “It wasn’t an easy choice, Parker, but I’m glad you agree with what I did. I feel better; happier in a way.” I offered her a soft smile so she knew I meant it; not that I ever lied anyway.

  “I know it was hard for you,” she reassured me. “Your dad really pressured you to stay with him, but you made the right choice, in my opinion. Your mom gets that you’re growing up and your interests have changed. It’s time you expand and explore your new thoughts and surroundings. Hopefully starting with boys.”

  I playfully elbowed her as we walked. I would love to date before college, and meet a few new people, but I didn’t see that happening anytime soon. We both smiled and laughed before the moment became serious again. “I wasn’t sure I did the right thing at first, but I couldn’t even look at my dad the same way after we caught him. I still don’t want to believe he cheated on my mom, but he did,” I admitted with a frown. “And there’s no changing that. “

  For the first few weeks of living in our new place, Mom was busy filing the divorce, re-writing papers, and meeting with attorneys for various things. I barely saw her, but I was busy with unpacking and reorganizing what we’d brought with us while making trips to our old house while my father was out so I wouldn’t run into him again. Mom promised that tonight we would have my favorite dinner, chicken Alfredo with broccoli, and as a sign of good faith she was going to let me cook while she wasn’t home. It was the ultimate sign of trust since it was a solid rule that I wasn’t allowed to cook, have friends over, or answer the door when no one else was home. Especially after I put a metal fork in the microwave and started a fire. Oops.

  “It’s nice living with her and having a fresh start,” I said, trying to remove the tension in our conversation. I knew it would come back, but I didn’t want to talk about my father right now. He was still upset that I chose my mother over him. “She lets me stay out so much later,” I added as an afterthought. Just another reason why I was happy I chose to live with her.

  “Yeah,” Parker interrupted. “Until nine at night. That’s a record.”

  I went on as if I didn’t hear her sarcastic remark—sometimes it was best to ignore her. “She lets me eat whatever I want. That includes junk food.”

  “As long as it’s not two hours before dinner,” Parker muttered quietly beside me. She just had to point out that I didn’t have as much freedom as I thought I did, but for me, these little things were huge. I had been on a strict diet at my dad’s house and curfew was before the sun went down.

  “She lets me stay up late,” I stated in a si
ng-song voice.

  “Until ten, and not a minute later,” Parker stated as she came to a stop outside her locker to grab what she needed for her last class. I glanced at the clock, we had five minutes before the late bell rang. I wasn’t too far from my class, and a minute late wouldn’t alarm anyone. I was just nervous because I didn’t want to cause a scene, or interrupt the lesson by walking in late. Parker didn’t care when she got to class.

  “I feel like I rebel. I’m going against all my dad’s rules and it’s awesome, but you’re being a kill joy.” I stated as she yanked the locker open. It always got stuck, and this time it almost hit me in the face by accident.

  “You’re accident prone, but you don’t hear me complaining.” She chuckled as she dug into her messy locker to find what she needed. While she searched, a large group passed us, whispering about me. I only knew because they looked right at me as they spoke, and even used my hated nickname.

  “She’s the one who broke up her parents,” a blonde girl I didn’t recognize stated as they went by. She didn’t hide the fact she was talking about me either. She pointed straight at me, and glared me down when she saw I turned to look at her.

  “I hear she couldn’t handle being a goodie-goodie anymore,” another voice mocked as she laughed to her friends about her subpar joke.

  I sighed and rolled my eyes. I tried to block them out as I waited for Parker, who clearly wasn’t hearing any of this. Otherwise she would have told each of them to shut the hell up and leave me alone. It was difficult enough being in the middle of my parents’ divorce, but to have them be so rude about it just wasn’t right. Didn’t they respect anyone other than themselves?

  Another voice chimed in. “I thought it was because her dad was trying to give her some freedom and she didn’t know what to do with it, so she panicked and ran away from home.”

  “Maybe she just decided that she wanted out,” a familiar male voice stated behind me. I rolled my eyes again and took a deep breath to relax before I came face to face with Kayden. Whenever he wanted to get close to me I knew I was in for trouble, and I hadn’t been in the mood for it lately—which for some reason piqued his interest in me more, unfortunately.

  “What do you want, Kayden?”

  He smiled, knowing he had my attention, which is all he ever wanted. “I hear you want to shed the good girl reputation to become a rebel,” he stated matter-of-factly. Clearly, he had been eavesdropping on Parker’s and my conversation. There’s no other way he could have heard me say rebel.

  I turned to see him give me his signature lopsided grin. It would have had most girls swooning, but I wasn’t most girls. I was above his looks and vapid personality, though I had to admit he was easy on the eyes. He couldn’t trick me like the other girls though, his personality would switch depending on who he was with. When he’s nice to me, or even talking to me, there was something else he wanted. He never came to me as a friend.

  “What’s it to you?” I asked in a huff. I tried to remind myself he’s the star soccer player all the girls were swooning over whenever he came around. He wouldn’t stop to talk to someone who didn’t give him a second glance unless he needed something from them. Unless they were me, then all he wanted to do was make my life a living hell. Well, too late. It already was.

  “I’m just here to help you, GG,” he said, giving me the same breathtaking smile. Something was going on, I just had to wait for the blow to come and hope I could take it. Though in this state, I wasn’t sure I could.

  “How’s that? I was pretty sure your motto was, ‘Why help you, when I can help myself?’ Which, so you know, makes you sound exactly like the arrogant jerk you are.”

  “Well, to shed your reputation and rebel against your dad more, you need to shed the virgin white, and I’m just offering to help.” He leaned against the wall lockers casually, waiting for my reply. I glanced at Parker, who turned her attention to our conversation so she could listen in. He had been listening to us talk. Was anything private when it came to him? I could tell his words had a double meaning, but he had effectively lost me.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Your virginity, it’s got to go,” he said bluntly with a devilish smile.

  As I looked into his eyes to see if he was joking, but not surprisingly he didn’t waver. He was serious. While I wanted to explore my new found freedom a little more. I just wasn’t that desperate. My mom had given me more than enough for right now. I could grow on my own, including learning to have a little fun with the people who messed with me. “And you’re offering to help with that?” I questioned.

  “Who would be better for it, my little rebel?” he asked as he leaned closer, as if I was going to fall under his spell. Too bad for him, I knew better.

  “Just about anyone else,” I sneered as I slammed Parker’s locker shut, grabbed her hand, and turned on my heel to head to class.

  “Oh look, GG must be running to tell a teacher that we’re bullying her. I guess she doesn’t have anyone else to tattle to since her father isn’t a faithful source anymore. After he cheated on her mom, she has no one to trust anymore.” Kayden chuckled as he told everyone within earshot what had happened between my parents. He must have been listening to Parker and I a lot longer than I originally thought, there’s no other way he could know. I never would have told him, and neither would Parker.

  “That’s what happened?” a girl, who I faintly recognized as Emily, asked in shock. “Her dad cheated on her mother? I thought they split because of her!”

  “Her mom must be a goodie-goodie too, and not in the bad way but in the worst way. No kinky or slutty stuff in the bedroom,” Kayden’s friend, Jake, said from behind Kayden.

  I felt my chest tighten, attempting to strangle my heart as tears formed in my eyes. I glanced around to see a few people had stopped walking, and were just watching the fallout of Kayden’s reveal. They were staring at me, laughing at me, and criticizing something they didn’t understand. I turned around to say something to Kayden, but my mouth hung open as more people decided to chime in.

  “Oh look, she’s crying.” I heard someone say with fake empathy in their voice. I couldn’t tell who it was because their voices, comments, and rude remarks were buzzing in my ears.

  “I guess she didn’t want us to know what happened,” Emily stated with a condescending tone.

  “Maybe she didn’t even know,” another girl whispered to her friend.

  “Lauren,” Kayden said in a soothing tone, as if to calm me down. He snapped his fingers in front of my eyes to regain my attention away from the whispers of the crowd. “I’m so sorry, I thought everyone already knew. You were talking about it with Parker in the hallway, and I assumed since you were talking about it in such an open place that—”

  “Screw you, Kayden!” I screamed, shocking myself and everyone around me. “You do this to me all the time! You have no heart. You don’t care what happens to me, and you certainly aren’t sorry, so just shut up!” I let the tears flow as Parker grabbed me and pulled me out of the crowd. She led me through the halls and outside. Before I knew it, she was sticking me into the passenger side of my car and driving me home.

  I hated Kayden so much. I couldn’t believe he did that, and let everyone else chime in. It was painful, and no one deserved that, not even him—my own worst enemy.

  Chapter 6

  Cruel Kids

  After about two months of living with my mom I began to notice a remarkable improvement in my life and attitude. I was happier, and I was slowly beginning to open up. Things at home were going wonderfully, and even though Mom was still busy with unpacking, and dealing with the legal matters of the divorce, it was going wonderfully. I just wish I could say the same thing about school. I started to tear up at the memory of what happened a few weeks ago, all thanks to Kayden.

  I had been so upset at the time that I did something I would have never done in a normal state of mind. I skipped class. I even celebrated afterwards by letting loose a lit
tle bit more, and it wasn’t even on purpose. Covering for me, my mom cleared up my unexcused absence with the school and said that it was her fault because she forgot to call in to excuse me from class. Considering my track record for good behavior, the school believed her without any questions asked. It was the little things she did to support me in these tough times that made all the difference. My dad never would have done that, but Mom, she went the extra mile.

  I had to tell her everything, including how Parker led me inside the house and waited with me until I stopped bawling. If she hadn’t driven me home I would have collapsed in the hallways at school, making a scene in front of everyone. Thankfully, now all they could say was that I stormed out crying and never came back. They didn’t know, and would never know that it took almost an hour to calm down before I stopped crying. I’d been a wreck, and crashed in the first place I could, but when the tears finally stopped I knew it was time to move forward.

  High schoolers were just too cruel when it came to other’s pain. If I hadn’t had Parker it would have been so much worse.

  She took care of me, comforted me, and talked to me until I calmed down. When I finally did she got me water and gave me a few minutes to myself as she went to set up the table to study like we usually did after school. I knew she didn’t want to study, and she knew I wasn’t in the mood to study. I wanted to sit with popcorn and ice cream and watch a Lifetime movie, or even a sappy romantic comedy. I just didn’t want to think about school. I didn’t want to flash back to the fight with Kayden, and remember the heated remarks and the embarrassment as he told everyone within earshot my family’s secret—though I didn’t bother complaining to Parker about it. I think she was just trying to make it as normal as possible, but that was over once Kayden opened his big mouth.

  We did homework together until it was her usual time to head home. I would have driven her, but she insisted I didn’t have to today. I felt bad that she had left her car at school to take me home, but she was adamant about walking. I guess she didn’t want me to get into an accident if I was still an emotional wreck. I had then spent the rest of the night and a majority of the next day in bed. Mom thought I needed a break from the kids at school, and I couldn’t thank her any more than I already had.