A Is for Action

by Dan Alatorre

  Okay, so Wallace cheers Erin go brah and the clansmen do, too. And now we’re all worked up. They’re unified.

  Now, we shoot back-and-forth to the nobles and to the King’s army, about how they’re not going to honor any terms they agreed to in the middle of the field, and once again we see Wallace is about to wronged. So now we are ready to fight with him. He’s justified. So let the fun begin.

  The leaders of the two armies meet in the middle to discuss terms, at which point Wallace insults them all – and that’s that.

  If you watch the scene, you’ll see how the action is laid out. It’s very choppy. It jumps all over the place – and yet we can follow it, so relax. Your written scene will be fine.

  See how much detail there is in the movie scene. There’s a LOT. So yours can be detailed, too. Eventually.

  Ease your mind about how YOU should do yours. Visually, you now have an example to follow, and like Jane Austen said, if a book is well written, I always find to too short. Same with your action scene or battle scene. If it’s good, it won’t seem long to your reader. You’ve already made them care about these characters, so they’ll want to see what happens to them in the battle.

  If you didn’t know how to start, now you do.

  Remember drama. As the English commanders leave the meeting, Wallace turns to the clan leaders on his side. Prior to this moment, he was not necessarily their leader. Now he is. He tells them what he wants them to do, and they basically agree – most of them. The point is, this is when he became the leader of the whole army. It’s subtle but it’s worth pointing out. Prior to that he was a rising star. At this point he’s in charge, possibly of the whole country. (And he’s willing to give that power up to somebody else by the way! So we love him again because he’s humble.)

  He tells the nobles his plan, to let part of the Scottish army appear to be fleeing while it actually doubles back to attack the English archers.

  He sends his horse away and kneels in the front line with his army as a priest gives a blessing. (More humbleness.)

  We cut to the English commander who has just heard the insult and who is now ready to have Wallace’s heart on a plate.

  The drums start. The flagman rides out on a horse.

  We are getting a sweeping shot of the English army. It is huge. It’s a wide shot, and the farther back it pans, the more of the thick, crowded English army you can see. It stretches to the horizon. It is an overwhelming site. A sea of men and horses and artillery. It’s worth it to stop at that moment and explain in whatever detail you choose how threatening this army appears.

  And of course, to drag it out, they had a priest come through and give everybody a blessing.

  Then the Scottish fighters raise their kilts and flash the English. So we chuckle at that. A little levity, because a rollercoaster has ups and downs.

  And the low drumming in the background is ominous. Hmm. How do we re-create that in a written story? Well, I did something similar in An Angel On Her Shoulder, where the main character (MC) goes to meet Dahlia, a voodoo priestess, for a kind of séance. I kept breaking away to mention the rain and the lightning and the wind. As Dahlia got angrier, the wind and rain increased. There’s a lot going on and it’s all tension-filled. The drumming helps the tension. You can say the same thing in your description. You’re noticing it, so you should point it out - and it will be …

  … well, it’s hard to describe why it works in the movie and why it would work in a book, but let me try.

  It’s taking the reader away from the battle that’s about to happen. That’s a tease. The longer you sit there sensing they’re going to fight, they’re going to fight, they’re going to fight – and don’t let them fight – that’s a tease. There are big teases and little teases. This is a micro tease. When you refer to the constant drumming, you can equate it to a heartbeat. Or a racing pulse, but by jumping away for just a few seconds, you have lengthened the tease. That would be my assessment as to why that works. It’s probably purely psychological. And it only works if you really, really built up that this is about to be a massacre.

  On the English side we see the archers run to the front of the line with their bows and arrows. We see a flagman riding on a horse out front, signaling for the troops to get ready.

  The English archers step in front of the line of horses. They are now the front line before the massive empty field between them and Mel Gibson’s army.

  Since it was a sea of men on the English side, several shots show the flagman continuing to ride and more and more archers coming to the front. By repeating that scene, they show you how big of an army it is. By repeating that information in your book, you would also be explaining and showing how big the English army is. You would use different words each time, but it would convey the impact, the massiveness, of the army readying itself.

  The commander on horseback observes the long row of archers as it stretches off to the horizon. He sits on horseback in front of his army.

  There is a jump cut to Mel Gibson’s army. It looks pretty big but it’s nowhere near the size of the English and nowhere near as well-equipped.

  And it’s dirty. Mel Gibson’s guys have no uniforms or uniformity. They are covered in mud and war paint. The English have uniforms and all their helmets match and all their spears are the same length. This detail shows the disparity visually, but again by taking a few sentences to mention it, you would underscore the ragtag nature of Gibson’s army while delaying – teasing – for another few seconds.

  A shot of Gibson taking a deep breath. A shot of one of his lieutenants – his childhood friend – taking a deep breath. They are steadying themselves, getting ready. (Remember how I said to have a character react the way you want the reader to react? There it is again.)

  As the low drumming continues, the field is basically quiet. A little bit of distant noise, like a horse whinnying in the background, as we see different shots of the English army standing still and ready.

  This would be a worthwhile micro tease. The shots of Gibson’s army, they are nervous. On the English side, they are waiting patiently. So you have an emotional difference that you can convey. Also, the guy who professes to be (Saint) Stephen looks to the sky and is apparently praying. All of these little details don’t take very long to say but they are micro teases that help sustain the tension while you are delaying your action.

  Drumming, drumming, drumming – as we show the resolute faces of the English commanders.

  Part 3: The Braveheart Analysis – The Battle

  Gibson gives the war cry and his men all yell jeers at the English. This breaks the tension in the movie. It would probably do the same thing in your book. I wasn’t expecting that. I was just expecting them to fight. Instead they taunt each other a few times first. So, we have another teasing delay.

  The English stand resolute as the Gibson army moons them and yells curses.

  The very calm English commander gives the signal to his lieutenant. The lieutenant waves his arm at the archers. The archer line steps forward to their arrows, which are stuck in the ground. Hundreds of men pick up their arrows and guide them into the strings of their bows.

  They aim high because they must shoot across the long field but as they do you hear the stretching of the strings as they pull the arrow back. It tells you two things. First of all, it gets other senses involved, to hear that, and it makes you realize they’re pulling it very, very hard – so it’s going to have a lot of impact on whatever it hits.

  With the command, “Loose!” the lieutenant drop his arm and the arrows fly. We see and hear the arrows in midair. They sound like a swarm of bees.

  Gibson’s men see the arrows coming and they duck and take cover behind their shields

  We see shot after shot of arrows hitting wooden shields – and a few arrows getting past the shields and landing on a thigh or exposed shoulder or foot. A few men are killed. It is obvious the shields are not big enough.

  A close-up of Gibson as he flinche
s when an arrowhead comes through his shield.

  Next to him, Saint Stephen says something funny. “The Lord says he can get me out of this mess but he’s pretty sure you’re (screwed).”

  Never underestimate the impact of your roller coaster. You have a ton of tension and you were starting to deliver it, and you break it up with a humorous line. As soon as the audience gets their little chuckle, they are holding their breath again. You are playing them like a piano.

  Gibson’s reaction is less than confident. Like, how could you say that? Saint Stephen laughs.

  It is worth it then to describe what we see on the face of Gibson after Stephen delivers the line that Gibson/Wallace is screwed.

  When Stephen begin speaking, Wallace’s eyes are fixed on him, his face is one of concern and his mouth hangs open. Of course it does. He almost got an arrow in the forehead. At hearing he may be screwed, Wallace flinches slightly and widens his eyes, turning his face more toward Stephen. His mouth and goes from gaping to raised eyebrows and a look of concern. So surprise turns to fear. However you would best describe that, it happens quickly so you have to say/write it quickly, but it’s a huge change in demeanor. And ends with Stephen laughing. We don’t get Gibson’s reaction to the laugh, but he will have one. It’s a moment of levity.

  Fun, fun, fun. Arrows keep hitting. A few screams. A few men fall to the ground.

  A moment of quiet as Gibson’s army peeks out from behind their shields. No more arrows come down, so they jump to their feet and scream like, You didn’t kill us!

  The English Lieutenant commands more arrows to fly. The long line of archers let them loose. Again, we see them fly and hear them go through the air. Gibson’s men quickly lower their kilts and turn around to grab their shields.

  As a viewer, we realize their timing was a bit stupid. They may not get their shields back up in time. That’s more tension.

  Gibson and Stephen look to the sky as the arrows come down. The army covers itself again – most of it, anyway. A few get caught unprepared and one takes an arrow in the butt. Almost everyone has an arrow sticking out of their shield at this point and we are starting to wonder about the sanity of this type of defense. There seem to be a lot more injuries on the second valley of arrows.

  We see the injuries in greater detail the second time, too. But at the end of the valley, Gibson stands and gives his signal to the support team to leave. They do.

  The English commanders joke to themselves that half the opponent’s army is running away.

  The English commander says to send in the horses now. To make a run at Gibson’s army.

  The archers step behind each other to allow soldiers on horseback to ride through with long spears.

  More drumming.

  Now the long line of archers is passed by the long line of horsemen and their spears. The spears are insanely long. Maybe twenty-five feet long, like lances in a joust.

  There’s a shot of Gibson’s army as they kind of pale at this. They realize more of them will be killed with this assault.

  The English horsemen advance their horses at a walk. Calm. Confident.

  Gibson’s army seems less so.

  A look of calm confidence on the English commander’s face.

  Smiles on the Horsemen’s faces. They move from a walk to a trot.

  Close-ups of the horses’ hooves thundering across the grass. You would want to describe that.

  A rumbling wave of soldiers on horseback sweep across the green field.

  Gibson’s army breathing heavy, their faces drawn and slack jawed. It surely scares them.

  The confidence of English soldier after English soldier as they move the horses to a gallop.

  The wall of mounted men is thick and wide and deep. Endless.

  Shots of Gibson’s men taking deep breaths, backing up slightly, gritting their teeth, every face is resolute but uncertain.

  A look of fear appears on Gibson’s face.

  Another shot of the horses thundering towards them. They break into a run.

  Gibson appears as though he is nervous and almost trembling, but he shouts to his men: “Steady!”

  A view from behind Gibson’s army as the horsemen come closer. They will be upon Gibson’s army in seconds. The faces of Gibson’s men are fearful, but they are not backing away.

  Gibson shouts, “Hold!”

  Another shot of the horses thundering towards them.

  Gibson raises his voice. It wavers a bit. “Hold!”

  The horsemen are now maybe fifty feet away. Are you getting a little stressed just reading this?

  Gibson shouts again. “Hold!” Each time he says it, he says it loud louder but with more urgency. “Hold!”

  The horsemen take their spears from vertical to horizontal and scream their war cry.

  One of Gibson’s lieutenants has a look of absolute horror on his face as he prepares to receive the impact of whatever is coming.

  The horsemen sweep through the last few feet of distance between the two armies.

  Gibson, his sword held high in the air, takes a deep breath and almost appears to lift himself up onto his toes.

  The camera rushes forward from the point of view of a horseman, as it moves at full speed into the faces almost in the faces of Gibson’s army.

  Gibson shouts “Now!”

  The front line of his army drops to their knees and raises long wooden spears they fashioned out of tree limbs. Shouting and raising them, they shove the back end into the ground and hold them up to skewer the horses and riders as they race forward.

  It is a long line of spears the horses are about to ride into.

  And as they do, some stop short. And the riders go flying. Horses get speared. Gibson’s army is screaming their war cry.

  Horses rear back at the last second to not plunge into the spears. More riders go flying. A rider pulls back too hard on the reins and causes his horse to fall backwards onto him; the horse takes a spear to the belly. The second and third line of horses – you would’ve described there were multiple lines of horses – continues forward and pushes the first line into the spears, and gets speared themselves. Man after man is impaled on the long homemade spikes. Bodies go flying into Gibson’s army; groans and groans and screams of stabbed horses fill the air.

  Spears ripping through horse flesh.

  Gibson’s men begin hacking the English soldiers who have fallen.

  Horse after horse falls to the ground screaming.

  Men are trapped under the horses; Gibson’s soldiers advance. The hand to hand combat begins.

  Gibson wields a pickax and drives it into the skull of one of the English soldiers.

  The next shot is of two or three soldiers surrounding an Englishmen and beating him with their swords and mallets.

  The next shot is a few other horses continuing onward into the spears and one of Gibson’s soldiers jumping forward to pull the rider to the ground, raising his sword to kill the man.

  The next shot is one of the soldiers surrounded by Gibson’s army as they descend upon him.

  The next shot is the second and third line trying to turn the horses around and conveying an air of confusion among the riders.

  More horse screams.

  Gibson’s friend clubs a rider as he comes into their ranks, pulling the man to the ground.

  Another rider is thrown from his horse.

  Men with spears trying to hold the spear study or lift it and stab the riders.

  Horses running away through the crowd.

  English soldiers being butchered by the Scottish horde.

  Gibson’s soldiers jumping over fallen Englishman and horses as the Scots advance, chasing the remaining English riders or trying to attack them.

  A shot of the English commander. His face shows concern. He is no longer confident, he is surprised and possibly scared of what he is seeing.

  With an uncertain voice he commands the lieutenant to send the infantry. The lieutenant begins to contradict him. The comma
nder grits his teeth and raises his voice. “Send them. You lead them!” He is not at all certain of the outcome of this battle at this point. He is disappointed at his mounted soldiers being tricked and slain.

  Shots of Gibson’s men smiling as they enjoy the fact they have pushed back the first wave of the English attack.

  Soldier after mounted soldier fall from the horses to be slain.

  Hand-to-hand combat. An English soldier is clubbed in the back. Another one is smashed in the head with a club as he leaves on the ground.

  The clash of swords fills the air. Gibson wields his axe and peers out over the field. The English commander stands there as the infantry prepare themselves, holding battle axes on the end of long poles that tower over the long line of infantrymen who have moved to the front.

  The lieutenant raises his sword and waves it with a cry; his infantrymen come forward, row after row after row, stretching to the horizon, as they scream their war cry. In front of them, the lieutenant rides on his horse, sword drawn.

  Baring his teeth and scowling, Gibson waves at his men, he screams and runs toward the English. His men follow.

  Still horses are being slaughtered as Gibson’s army runs past them in the open field.

  The mass of ragtag soldiers sweep forward with their crude weapons.

  Running full speed towards the English, their legs are bare as their kilts fly up from the speed. They do not move forward in a uniform line, they run as fast as they can like a mob, as opposed to the English who moved in a line.

  The English soldiers, swords in hand, now break into a flat out run.

  Gibson’s army sprints towards them.

  It almost looks more like a sport then a battle, with everyone running towards each other this way.

  A shot of Gibson’s army getting closer, a shot of the English army getting closer, everyone yelling the battle cry, sprinting as fast as they can, wielding their weapons.

  The lieutenant, on horseback, gallops in front his sword raised.

  His army sprints along behind him.

  Gibson’s men are now at a full out sprint, covering the ground between them.