Hold Me Like This (A second chance, small town romance) (Love Me Like This Book 3)

by Lola StVil

  “I tried everything, and we kissed, and it was magical. The night we chaperoned the school dance, well, we did more than kiss. And it was like coming home. It was like we were back to where we used to be, and I know she felt it too. She told me it could never happen again, but she said that when we kissed and every time we saw each other, so I didn’t take it seriously. And then she went out with another guy.

  “He almost hurt her, but I took her home safely. That was tonight. She admitted to me that she could get past me leaving without saying goodbye, she understood, but she didn’t think she could forgive me for waiting so long. I tried to make her see why, but it didn’t work. She admitted she picked that guy to go out with because she knew it would hurt me as I hurt her.

  “Dad, I love her, but I can’t stand the thought of hurting her over and over again. It’s like we’re trapped in this circle of pain. So I’m doing what she wants. I’m leaving so she can forget about me and get on with her life. It’s by far the hardest thing I’ll ever do, but Grey deserves to be happy. And I don’t think I can make her happy anymore. I have to love her enough to let her go. That’s why I’m leaving.”

  “So you’re bailing on her again?” my dad says, shaking his head.

  I’m not sure what reaction I was expecting from him, but it sure as hell wasn’t that. I should have known. Anger. Judgment. I guess our moment has passed. I open my mouth to tell him to go to hell, but he beats me to it.

  “Holden, you broke her heart. And she needs to know it won’t happen again. She’s pushing you away to see if you will fight for her.”

  Okay, I misjudged him. He wasn’t being judgmental. He was trying to help.

  “No Dad, you don’t get it. She doesn’t want me here. She can’t forgive me.”

  “Damn, Son, you might have grown up some in the military and got yourself a fancy degree, which I’m very proud of you for by the way, but you sure as hell didn’t learn anything about women, did you?”

  I shake my head.

  “No. I never wanted anyone but Grey.”

  “You hurt her. There’s no getting around that. And she’s more stubborn than either of us. She doesn’t want you to see the hole you left in her life. She doesn’t want you to see how much she wants you. She wants you to think she moved on. She needs you to show her that no matter how hard she pushes you away, you’ll still be there. She needs to know you’re not going to bail on her at the first sign of things getting tough.”

  “I wish I could believe you, but what if you’re wrong?” I ask quietly.

  Could he be right? Could I let myself believe that there is still hope for Grey and me?

  “Then you’ll have your heart broken all over again. It’ll be the most painful thing you’ve ever felt, and it will be humiliating. It will be the worst day of your life.”

  “That’s not exactly making me feel better,” I say.

  “I know. But you asked, and I’m being honest with you. You have to decide if you want to spend your whole life thinking what if? You have to decide if the risk of being utterly broken is worth it.”

  “I … I don’t know. What if I just hurt her even more?”

  “There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to put themselves on the line. They have to put themselves out there and risk everything to maybe gain something wonderful or to lose everything they have. The real question you have to ask yourself is simple. Is she worth it?”

  “Yes,” I say without even a moment’s hesitation.

  My dad nods and stands up and picks my bag up.

  “What are you …?” I start.

  “I’m taking this home for you. Now, what are you still doing here? Get over to Grey’s place and fight for the woman you love.”

  I can’t stop myself. I throw my arms around my dad and hug him. I release him, and as I sprint away from him in the direction of the diner, I can hear him laughing to himself.

  I run as fast as I can toward Grey’s apartment, toward my future. Toward the woman I love and will never stop loving. And this time, I’m not going to bail on her. I’m not going to take no for an answer.

  I arrive at the diner and stand outside of Grey’s apartment door for a moment while I get my breath back. It’s almost six, not so early that I will terrify her by buzzing the intercom I hope. I take one final moment to compose myself.

  Do it, Holden. Make her see you’re the real deal this time.

  I ring the intercom. Grey doesn’t bother to speak through it, she just buzzes it open. She’s probably expecting Cannon after last night. I hope she’s not disappointed to see me instead. I take the stairs two at a time, and I pound my fist against the door.

  “Alright, alright. Keep your fucking …” she shouts as she slams the door open.

  She stops mid-sentence when she sees me. She obviously just woke up. Her eyes are red and puffy, partly from sleeping, partly from crying. I feel a stab of guilt at the thought of her in here, alone and crying. She is wearing a pair of old sweatpants and an old, holey T-shirt and my jacket. Her hair is wild, bits sticking up all over, and there’s a line down her cheek from her pillow. And she has never looked more beautiful.

  We stand in silence, our eyes locked together. I can see the sparkle in her eyes. She’s glad I’m here. My father was right. She wanted me to come back for her. She wanted me to prove I won’t leave her again.

  There is so much I want to say to her, the speech I planned on the way over, but words won’t be enough to make her see how much I love her. They won’t be enough to mend the cracks in our souls and the aching in our hearts. Only one thing can do that.

  I step forward and wrap my arms around Grey’s waist, leaning down and kissing her. Her arms wrap around my neck as she responds to my kiss, as hungry for me as I am for her. I don’t just kiss her, I plead with her through my kiss; I beg her to understand, to forgive, to love me again.

  She steps back, not breaking our kiss, and pulls me with her. She slams the door closed behind me, and as the door closes, it’s like we’ve been unleashed. She slips my jacket off and pulls back from our kiss long enough to lift the T-shirt over her head.

  Her chest heaves and her eyes are heavy with lust as she lunges for me again. I move her toward the bedroom as I run my hands over her bare skin, caressing, kneading, wanting to be one with her. She unbuttons my shirt and pushes it down my arms, letting it fall to the ground. She comes back against me, her bare chest pressing against mine.

  I move my hands down her back, cupping her ass and lifting her. She wraps her legs around my waist and presses her crotch against mine, moaning into my mouth when she feels my hardness rubbing against her.

  I move my mouth down her chin and nuzzle her neck. She cranes her neck, elongating it and giving me easy access to it. I nibble gently on the skin, remembering how much she likes it. I move her toward the wall, pressing her against it. Holding her in place with one hand beneath her, I move my other hand to the front and slip it inside of the sweatpants.

  She’s not wearing any panties, and that alone almost makes me come right then and there. I push my fingers into her heat. She gasps as I massage her most intimate place. She’s already dripping wet, and I don’t think either of us can wait much longer.

  I move my mouth back to hers, tasting her, smelling her, feeling every inch of her against me. She kisses me hungrily, her hands in my hair, pressing our mouths together tightly. She writhes against my fingers, rubbing herself hard against them, needing the release to heal herself as much as I do.

  She pulls her mouth away and buries her face in my shoulder as her orgasm builds up. She runs her tongue up my neck and nibbles my earlobe. And then she whispers in my ear.

  “Fuck me, Holden,” she demands.

  I was already putty in her hands, but that pushes me over the edge. I pull my fingers out of her and lift her away from the wall. I set her down on the floor, and she fumbles my jeans open, her haste obvious. She shoves them roughly down to my mid thighs, and I kiss her again, pus
hing her backward as my tongue explores her mouth.

  I guide her through the doorway to her bedroom, and I don’t stop until her legs hit the bed and she tumbles onto it. I kick my jeans and underwear off. I reach out and grab the waistband of her sweatpants. She lifts herself eagerly, and I slip them off of her, throwing them to the side. She shuffles back on the bed, so she’s fully on it.

  She lies there, watching me, her lips glistening with moisture, her eyes glassy from the orgasm that’s still building inside of her. Her chest heaves, covered in a layer of slick sweat. Her nipples stand out pink against the creamy peach color of her skin. She is a goddess.

  “God, Grey, I’ve missed you,” I breath as I climb onto the bed between her legs.

  She opens them, inviting me in. I run my fingers along her inner thighs, enjoying the gasp it brings forth from her. I rub my fingers along her slit, teasing her. She lifts her top half from the bed, grabbing my ass and pulling me closer. I don’t resist.

  I open her folds and plunge myself deep inside of her. She calls out my name as she takes my full length. I ease myself down on top of her, marveling again at how fucking amazing she looks.

  She lifts her knees, resting them against my hips on either side, opening herself to me, letting me in deeper. I thrust into her. There is no gentle slowness to our lovemaking. I thrust in hard and fast, needing the release, needing us to share this moment of pleasure. Needing the passion I feel for her to say what my words can’t. That we are one. That we always were and always will be.

  Her breath is coming in fast squeaks now, and I moan as she clenches around me. I speed up even more, banging into her with everything I have, watching her face contort with pleasure at every stoke.

  “Oh my god, Holden; don’t stop,” she screams as her orgasm builds once more inside of her.

  She lets go with a scream, drenching me in warmth. I thrust into her one more time, letting my own climax come. We ride the waves together, clutching each other, calling out each other’s names. I am gripped by a pleasure so intense it’s almost painful. Every nerve in my body feels the orgasm that rips through me. I feel my whole body go rigid as I call out her name once more. She runs her tongue over the top of my shoulder, and it sends another wave through me. I don’t think I can take more of this, yet I crave more already.

  We come down together, slowly, riding the waves. I roll off Grey, and the second I slip out of her, I miss the warmth of her. I lie on my side, panting beside her, and she turns to face me, a half smile on her face. I wrap my arm around her and kiss her on the mouth. In contrast to the desperate passion in our earlier kisses, this kiss is slow and sensual. I take the time to explore her tongue with mine, to taste her lips and to savor the feeling of her lips on mine.

  “You really came back for me,” she whispers as we end our kiss.

  I look deep into her eyes.

  “I’m just sorry I didn’t come sooner,” I whisper.

  She runs her nails up and down my back, tracing lazy circles that make me want her all over again.

  “You were worth the wait,” she says. “I never really stopped hoping you’d come back.”

  My heart soars at her words. She never stopped hoping I’d return. She never stopped loving me. She’s still mine. I pull her closer to me, and we lie together in the happy silence of our shared memories.

  I can feel sleep taking me. I force my eyes open and see Grey is almost asleep too. I kiss her forehead, and she smiles sleepily.

  “I never stopped loving you, Grey.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  GREY

  When I woke up this morning, it was like heaven. Before I even opened my eyes, I knew Holden was there. The weight of his arm around my waist and his warmth pressed against my back told me he was still there. And something inside of me told it was okay to let go of the pain and the fear. That he would always be there.

  He’s been there for the last three days. Since the morning he turned up on my doorstep, he hasn’t left except to go home and talk to his parents and collect some things. There are still a lot of things we need to talk about, things that we’ve avoided so far. But I think today is the day.

  I’m not in the diner at all today, and Holden told me he has a surprise planned. He wouldn’t tell me anything else. He left, telling me to meet him at the park at half past eleven. I think the weight of the unsaid words are pressing down on him as much as they are on me, and I think whatever his surprise is, we’ll spend some time talking. Not necessarily about the past—more about the future and how we move forward together.

  I set off toward the park. It’s not far away, and I decide to walk and enjoy the fresh air. I can feel excitement bubbling in my stomach at thought of my surprise and at seeing Holden again. It’s kind of pathetic. I only saw him like two hours ago, but I already miss him.

  I arrive at the park and look around for Holden. I soon spot him sitting on a bench just inside the gates. I go over to him. He looks up and smiles when he sees me, but he looks kind of nervous too.

  “What’s up?” I say.

  “Nothing,” he replies. “Come on.”

  He takes me by the hand and leads me around by the pond. I know instantly where he’s taking me. The playhouse. Or more accurately the old shed. We spent hours in there, the door wedged shut. We lost our virginity in there, planned out our future in there. It holds a lot of memories.

  We reach it. The outside hasn’t changed a bit. It’s still the same old rickety rackety thing it always was. Holden steps forward and opens the door.

  “After you, milady,” he says with an exaggerated bow as he holds the door wide open for me.

  I gasp as I walk in. A thick white blanket covers the ground, scattered with rose petals. A large vase of red roses sits in one corner. I turn to him and smile as he comes in behind me and wedges the door shut.

  He returns my smile and pulls me into his arms and kisses me. I instantly feel my body respond to him and I press myself against him. He laughs into my mouth and pulls back slightly.

  “That’s not your surprise.” He laughs.

  “It’s not?” I ask, not sure whether to be disappointed or not.

  “Nope,” he says.

  He gestures to the blanket. “Sit down.”

  I do as he says, and he sits beside me.

  “You know I had a job lined up at the hospital in the city, right?” he says.

  I nod, feeling some of the happiness draining out of me as I come crashing back down to reality. The job means he’ll be out of town most of the week, and as much as I want to drop everything and go with him, my life is here. I’ve worked too hard on the diner to just walk away from it.

  “I really wanted you to come to the city with me, Grey. To start over.”

  I open my mouth to explain why I can’t, but he holds up a palm, cutting me off.

  “I know why you can’t do that, which is why I didn’t ask you. It’s not fair of me to come back here after so long and expect you to uproot your entire life.”

  I nod, grateful that he gets it.

  “We’ll make it work,” I say. “Plenty of couples have to spend time apart for their jobs. You can commute some days, and we’ll have days off.”

  “That’s what I thought. But then something better presented itself,” he says with a grin. “The local hospital here in town needed a new surgeon. I got the job, Grey. I can stay in town.”

  I screech in excitement and throw my arms around him.

  “That’s fantastic news,” I say. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It only happened yesterday,” he says. “It all came together quickly. I didn’t tell you beforehand in case it didn’t work out.”

  “That’s the best surprise ever,” I say, pulling him closer to me again.

  He laughs.

  “Oh, that’s not the surprise,” he tells me.

  “It’s not?” I say, pulling away from him so I can look at his face. “There’s nothing you could say that would be better than
that.”

  He drops his arms and laughs again.

  “Don’t be so sure,” he says.

  He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a plain white envelope. I go to take it, but he holds it back out of my reach.

  “You know, when we first got back together, I thought there was so much we needed to talk about, but the more I think about it, the more I see that’s not the case. We can’t change the past, Grey, and I think we should leave it where it belongs. And as for the future? We have our whole lives to plan for that. In the meantime, I think we should just take each day as it comes and enjoy being together again. What do you say?”

  As he says the words, I know he’s right. We don’t need to talk about the issues. They’re gone. And as long as we have each other, let the future bring whatever it will bring.

  “That sounds perfect,” I say.

  “Good,” he replies. “Because your surprise is in honor of fresh starts and living in the moment. I thought we should celebrate me being able to stay in town.”

  He finally hands me the envelope. I look at it and then up at him, smiling questioningly.

  “Open it.” He laughs.

  I don’t need him to tell me twice, and I tear the envelope open. I shake it, and for a moment I can’t speak when I see what falls out. Two tickets to Paris.

  “Holden … I can’t—”

  “Don’t say you can’t, Grey. It’s only for a week, and I already talked to Cassie. She has the diner under control.”

  “I wasn’t going to say I can’t go. I was going to say I can’t wait.”

  “Oh.” He laughs. “Well, that’s good because we leave tonight.”

  “Tonight?” I shriek, jumping to my feet. “Oh my god, come on. We have so much to do.”

  He jumps up beside me, still laughing.

  “Do you think maybe you have time for one little kiss?” he asks, winking at me.