Not The Leader Of The Pack

by Leong, Annabeth

  Juli had picked a spot along the trail they’d walked, though Neil wasn’t sure exactly where. He could have checked it out, but instead he’d spent the rest of last night and all of today looking for her. He felt like sleepless hell and looked even worse.

  After his long and fruitless search, Neil had been left with only one way to find Juli. He checked his watch and blew out a deep breath. Six forty-five. He’d challenged her to fight for the position of pack alpha at eight o’clock.

  Neil swung out of the truck’s cab and prepared himself for the hike. His eyes felt sandy. The sleep deprivation and emotional exhaustion had definitely gotten to him. He had this crazy idea that he could talk to Juli first and call off the challenge. She’d worked in Lewistown. Maybe she knew something about how to record their mating in an official way. However, knowing Juli, she wouldn’t listen to him and he’d be forced to fight.

  Several sets of wolf tracks marked the trailhead. On full moon night, everyone enjoyed their freedom as much as possible. Most of the observers—even the stiff-necked Lewistown officials—would come to the challenge in wolf form. Neil stashed his clothes in the truck and hid his keys under a nearby bush. Then he shifted as well, dropping his nose close to the tracks, searching for the only scent that mattered.

  Juli. Fresh as spring itself. Neil raced down the trail after her, his heart pounding.

  The details blurred, the path to the challenge site surprisingly short. The night before, when he could barely walk for wanting her, it had seemed impossibly long. Now, Neil’s strides chewed through the distance. He arrived at the spot she had chosen, only to find a circle of wolves, but no Juli. A big white wolf that smelled like Heather Compton approached Neil with an imperious air, and he barely resisted snarling at her.

  Neil followed the white wolf to the center of the circle and shifted into human form, paying no mind to his nakedness. “Where is she?” he asked. “I need to discuss a change of terms.”

  The white wolf grunted, then shifted as well. On any other day, he might have enjoyed the sight of Heather’s slim, pale body. Tonight, all he saw was not-Juli. Heather drummed thin fingernails on a bare thigh. “Regulations don’t allow that, Mr. Statham. Juli contacted me early this morning to inform me of the mutually agreed challenge location. After your official statement at the ceremony the other night and the selection of a site for the contest, there can be no further changes.”

  Neil clenched his fists so hard his knuckles cracked. Even if he had found this woman attractive, her way of speaking would have killed it for him. He persisted with his attempt to find his mate. “Then let me talk to her.”

  “You are nothing but trouble, Mr. Statham. Because of you, almost the entire investigative staff of the Werewolf Council has been tied up here for weeks, despite being needed elsewhere.” Heather gave the little shake of her head that he found so irritating, as if her neck muscles wouldn’t even allow her the freedom of a full gesture. “Each participant in the contest is entitled to approach the challenge location in his or her own way. If Juli does not choose to reveal herself to you before the time appointed for the start of the challenge, it is not my place to interfere.”

  Neil rolled his eyes. He didn’t care who was watching. He needed to talk to Juli now. He threw back his head and called her name, heedless of the way the assembled wolves cocked their heads or lolled their tongues at him. When she did not respond, he howled at the top of his lungs, and even he noticed how it sounded as if his heart were being torn from him.

  “Mr. Statham, I recommend you focus on preparing for your challenge. It won’t do to wear yourself out beforehand.” Something about the way Heather’s gaze swept his body turned Neil’s stomach. She sounded so condescending, and yet she looked at him with promising heat. Juli would never be so divided. Juli might rail at him or roll her eyes at him, but she made her passion and respect for him clear even when she didn’t agree with anything he chose to do.

  Neil shuddered, the reality of having mated with her crashing in on him again. He could not imagine repeating that experience with anyone else. He had torn his soul open with Juli the night before, and he’d never have dared to expose so much of himself if he’d had any idea what he was getting into. Mating with her had wounded his heart in a way that only she could heal. He couldn’t imagine any other woman being real to him after her.

  He growled and paced, avoiding the other werewolves and watching the moon rise in the sky. As time wore on, Neil realized that Juli would not come ahead of time. She didn’t want to see him before the challenge. Knowing her, she didn’t want to give him a chance to talk her out of fighting him.

  Neil shook his head and shifted, trying to prepare himself as best he could. He couldn’t get the memory of her body out of his mind. He remembered biting her neck and mastering her, and now he could imagine no contact with her that did not end with such a union. His body still ached from the previous night’s effort and shattering passion.

  Then there was a stir among the assembled wolves. Led by the white wolf, they all moved back, leaving Neil alone and exposed between the river and the mountain. He froze, confused, then scented Juli just a moment before she bounded up and out of the river toward him, her ruddy form bright in the moonlight.

  Last night’s struggle had taught Neil he’d have no trouble keeping her in place once he caught her. She ran damned fast, though, and he lacked the endurance for another long chase. He coiled his muscles, prepared to meet her charge with a leap.

  Juli had other plans. The moment Neil cleared the ground, he saw she hadn’t really been headed toward him. His aim off, his jaws whiffed the air. Juli darted neatly around him and dashed up the side of the mountain. Her speeding body seemed to fly as she raced up the rocky outcroppings.

  Neil growled and followed, but the stones supported his heavier weight less well. He scrabbled among them, his footing loose and unstable, while Juli raced higher up the cliff. Rocks clinked and clattered behind him. His lungs wanted to burst from the strain. Neil needed to catch Juli fast, before she wore him out.

  He gathered himself and surged up after her, pushing fast enough that it didn’t matter that the ground broke beneath his feet. Closer and closer he came, until he could almost taste her sweet flesh in his jaws. He opened wide for another snap, but before he could take her, she darted into an odd little space between two outcroppings.

  Neil crashed into it, just behind her, but his broad body couldn’t squeeze small enough to fit between the rocks. Frustration filled him as he withdrew and searched for another way to get to her. He could catch her on the other side, or from above.

  He jumped to perch atop the outcroppings, but teetered uncomfortably there. They seemed just too large to allow him to slip between them the way Juli had, and yet too small to support his weight comfortably. Neil poked his snout between the spaces, driven nearly mad by the scent of his mate’s body and the urge to get to her.

  A snarl rose from the rocks beneath, and teeth closed on his left rear paw. Neil yipped, shocked by the pain. He shook his leg free and redoubled his efforts to get inside and reach her. He succeeded only in wedging his head and forelegs into one of the spaces. He couldn’t get enough purchase to scramble out again.

  Panic froze his blood as he realized how the predicament trapped and exposed him. Movement flashed beneath him, but he couldn’t catch a clear view of Juli or what she was doing.

  She answered the question for him a moment later, when her small body landed hot against his back. Neil struggled, but still could not free the front of his body. He knew what would happen next. Her teeth would close on the scruff at the back of his neck, and he would be defeated and shamed.

  He needed to talk to her. Ordinarily, it would have been nearly impossible for him to shift out of wolf form on the night of the full moon, with battle heat upon him. With Juli, the whole world seemed to have turned upside down. The need to talk to her had burned so urgently in his heart for the past twenty four hours that his human si
de had never truly receded, even when the challenge began. As soon as Neil thought of shifting back, it happened, with an ease of transition that he had experienced only rarely. He didn’t feel caught by the wolf at all—his entire being recognized the need to be human, the need to speak and reason.

  The wolf on his back snarled, then pulled up short, sharp teeth just grazing his flesh. Then it was Juli covering his body, naked as he was, tugging him free of the outcropping. He would have relaxed into her arms, except that she settled her forearm under his neck and held him as if he were a hostage. His leg ached where she’d bitten him. He flexed experimentally, but didn’t think she’d inflicted permanent damage.

  “Juli,” he muttered, “can we please go somewhere private? I need to talk to you.”

  She hissed her response into his ear. “I’ve had it with privacy, Neil. You’re not going to be able to pretend this never happened. We won’t even have to tell anyone I defeated you—they all saw it.”

  He winced as she threw back his words from the night before. Juli shifted her grip and stood them both up on the outcropping. Her chest heaved, pushing her breasts against his back. Even here and now, Neil could hardly think straight through his desire for her.

  “I need a Council decision,” Juli called down to the assembled wolves. “Since the challenger shifted out of wolf form before the challenge was complete, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to resolve this.”

  Neil could not resist making another attempt to get her attention. “Juli, can I take you to coffee tomorrow?”

  She responded by squeezing her forearm tighter under his throat.

  Below them, Heather Compton’s human form rose again from among the assembled wolves. She studied Juli and Neil with a frank, speculative gaze that made Neil shift uncomfortably. “Ending the challenge without cause is a grave violation,” Heather intoned. “In the cherished tradition of the full-moon challenge, both sides require protection to prevent spurious and needlessly damaging contests. Regulation 10a states that—”

  Neil snarled aloud, the urge to return to wolf form striking powerfully now he knew Juli would not speak to him. Heather started and glared, then gestured to two hulking wolves that had to be the shifted versions of her usual sidekicks.

  The wolves ran up the cliff—with as much trouble as he’d had, Neil noted with some bitter satisfaction—and took up positions to either side of Juli and Neil, baring their teeth and digging in their forelegs. Neil shivered, the message coming through quite clearly.

  “As I was saying,” Heather continued, “regulation 10a states that any challenge, once begun, must be carried out to its natural conclusion, so as not to leave any doubts about dominance in the eyes of the pack.”

  Despite the low growls of the shifted investigators, Neil again could not restrain himself. “What if the challenge wasn’t being conducted properly?”

  Wrong protest. Heather’s eyes flashed more dangerously than ever. “Do you question my ability to moderate according to protocol?”

  Neil took as deep a breath as Juli’s forearm allowed. “I’ve never fought a challenge like this before,” he said, working to keep his voice sounding confident rather than petulant. “Strength to strength, I would defeat her. No challenge I’ve ever seen took place under trick conditions.”

  A mocking smile fluttered over Heather’s face. “Juli Gunby’s style of challenge might be unusual, but it is not unprecedented, and it is certainly not illegal. Had you waited mere seconds longer before shifting out of wolf form, her victory would have been clearly established before all.”

  Heather’s response seemed to satisfy Juli that the verdict would go in her favor. She loosened her grip on Neil and stepped back, and he had to restrain a whimper of disappointment as her body withdrew from his. Neil glanced back at her, but her face had closed to him. He held himself tall and stared down at the crowd, trying to stay cool despite the erection that had begun to stir when he felt Juli’s skin against his own. He’d let the emotions that swirled around mating go to his head. He’d let himself get distracted by the need to talk over what had happened between them. But he’d been a beta long enough to know how to prop up an alpha. He knew what was expected of him. Even if Juli never spoke to him again, he knew that in his heart she would always be his mate. He needed to do the right thing by her.

  “I apologize for disrupting protocol,” Neil said. “I’ll be happy to shift back so that the alpha can complete the final assertion of dominance.”

  Heather folded her arms across her chest. “It’s not that simple, I’m afraid. The consequences for withdrawing from the fight are much more severe than the consequences of merely losing a challenge. Alphas, as I said, must be protected from those who would wound, then flee.” He hated the drama of the pause she gave then, but not as much as he hated what she said next. “Any challenger from within the pack who refuses to engage with the alpha according to agreed-upon terms must suffer expulsion from the pack.”

  Cold pierced Neil’s heart. All he’d ever done had been for the sake of this pack. He’d sacrificed life, love, and career for it. If he had to leave it, he might as well die. He hadn’t even begun to think of the implications of losing Juli for good.

  Before he could gather his thoughts enough to respond, Juli stepped in front of him, sweeping him behind her with a motherly, protective gesture. “Wait! I would welcome him to continue as a member of the pack. I’m not afraid of causing confusion or exposing myself to future threats. He’s given many years of faithful service to this pack. He deserves better.”

  Heather clucked her tongue and shook her head. “This isn’t the sort of matter that falls to the jurisdiction of a single alpha. The Werewolf Council’s word is law in all matters that affect the packs as a whole. This isn’t a matter of your instinct as to what is right, or of your obvious feelings for this man.” The investigator sneered as she spoke. “Neil Statham will be taken into custody now and briefed on his rights. In short form, he will leave the Missoula pack before the next moon. If no other Council pack will have him, then his full-moon exemption privileges will be revoked. If he proves unable to restrain his shift, lycanthropy suppressants will be prescribed. That is all.” She turned on her heel, shifting back to wolf form as she did.

  Neil stared after her in horror. Juli touched his arm with her fingertips, her face a mirror of his expression, with guilt added in. “Neil, I never meant for this to—”

  “Sh,” he told her. “You didn’t know.”

  “If I had talked to you like you wanted...”

  “If.” That word summed up everything he felt for her then. He might have tried to say a little more, to explain what he’d been thinking last night, except that one of Heather’s sidekicks nipped at his heels, and he understood he had to follow her now. He tried to take comfort in Juli’s concern for him, but as the Lewistown investigators herded him away from the challenge site, all he could think about was what he and Juli had done in this place just the night before, and how it broke his heart that it would never happen again.

  Chapter Eleven

  Juli fought to move in the opposite direction of the crowds making their way out of Ogren Park. She headed toward the dugouts. Of course, Neil might not want to see her when she got there, but she needed to deal with one problem at a time.

  She stumbled as she worked her way between the seats. In all the years she’d known Neil, she’d never actually been to a game before. Never before had she seen the way he could explode from seeming idleness to lightning-fast action, his cleats skidding in the diamond’s dirt. That night, Juli had discovered the strength of his arm and the clear pleasure on his face when he ran onto the field.

  It had been good to watch him when she had an excuse to just stare. The rhythm of his walk alone made her body ache for him. She’d spent a lot of time recently wondering if she could live without him. It felt like wondering whether she could give up an arm. Since the night they’d mated, Neil felt like a part of her. Even the brief separati
on she’d endured so far had tested her focus and patience. She could not bear to think about years stretching out before her, empty of her true love and bonded mate.

  It had taken several mornings drinking coffee at Sarah Edmond’s table to come up with a plan. Now that she had one, she was almost afraid to try it, convinced that Neil would not agree.

  Stadium lights nearly obscured the waning moon, despite its still-round brightness. In the press of people, she felt lost, each individual scent mingling into a powerful mass that made it impossible for Juli to pick out any single thread.

  A stadium official equipped with a walkie-talkie caught her eye. He gestured and pointed. “You coming down for Launch a Ball, miss?”

  Juli shook her head, but approached him. “I’m here to visit a player.” When the official raised a dubious eyebrow, she kept talking. “Um, my boyfriend. Neil Statham. I didn’t tell him I was coming. I wanted to surprise him.” Juli felt foolish.

  “Neil Statham, eh? You might actually be telling the truth. He’s getting a little old for most of the girls looking to hook up with players.”

  Juli opened her mouth, then closed it again. She decided she didn’t want to know any of the details of Minor League baseball groupies. “Can you take me to him? Or at least tell him I’m here?”

  He spoke briefly into the walkie-talkie, then nodded at her. “Go on that way, miss. The guy down there will let him know to watch out for you.”

  She gulped and moved in the direction he pointed. Juli craned her neck, hoping to catch sight or scent of Neil. She hitched her purse up her shoulder. Full moon was still so recent that it felt strange to wear only a human skin. Every time she thought of Neil her body threatened to burst into fur. She wondered when she would ever get control of herself again.