Valentine Wishes (Baxter Academy Book 1)

by Jane Charles

  Grandmother had a lot of this information already, but with Uncle Mark and Aunt Emily’s help, we are able to fine tune everything and get more detailed. We should have brought my uncle and aunt in on this earlier. They have so much more knowledge and what they’d like to see done instead of what is already being done in the city. Things they would like to see tried that really give a kid a chance and not just a safe place for four years of school and then cut loose at eighteen. Nobody will be cut loose until they have a high school diploma, even if that isn’t until the kid turns twenty. The school will be designed to set them up for success and not just a four-year temporary fix.

  Brett went back to work and has been staying in his own place because he didn’t get much unpacking done while I was there. That’s fine. I get it. I wouldn’t want to live out of boxes either and he totally understands why I can’t leave Theo right now. Brett plans on coming back to town on Friday night and stay with his uncle until after the meeting on Sunday. After that, we’ll see how things stand with Theo, depending on the vote and go from there.

  Even though Grams will go ahead with the school, Theo needs to know that the family supports him. Not that he has said so to me. He hasn’t even left his bed, but if I were him, I’d want them to give me their support. Trust in my vision and plans. I’m afraid they are just seeing him as a kid with a wild idea, who may not be right in the head. Theo may have suffered a brain injury, but his intelligence was never damaged. I just hope they can see that.

  “Hey, what’s going on?”

  Relief washes through me when I see Theo at the door to the dining room. His hair is sticking out in all kinds of directions, and he’s paler than normal, and looks like he lost some weight. He’s been skinny since the accident anyway and even though he got taller, he didn’t fill out. At least he’s standing, awake and doesn’t appear to be in pain anymore.

  “More details for the school.” I shove the papers toward him as he slumps into the chair.

  “Cool.”

  I expected a little more enthusiasm, but he may not be fully awake yet either.

  “What can I get you for breakfast?” Grandma starts bustling to the kitchen. If Theo doesn’t speak up, she’ll produce a platter of eggs, pancakes, bacon, sausage and toast just so there is something for him to eat.

  “Just coffee right now.”

  “You need to eat.”

  “Let me see if I keep the coffee down first. Maybe toast.”

  She nods sympathetically and heads off to the kitchen.

  “How are you feeling?” I finally ask.

  “Better,” he basically grunts and starts looking at our notes.

  He’s nodding as he reads and I take it as approval. This is his school, his idea and it’s important to me that he approves.

  “Where did these other ideas come from?”

  I tell him and the how Uncle Mark and Aunt Emily have been researching and emailing.

  “I’m glad to know somebody beside you and Gram are for this.”

  “The others will come around.”

  “And if they don’t, we’ll do it anyway.” Grandma announces as she brings Theo his coffee and two pieces of buttered toast.

  “I think I’ll head up into the mountains on Saturday.”

  “Why?” It’s not unusual for Theo to take these little trips, but I thought he’d want to be home to prepare for the meeting.

  “Time with my camera and in nature. To make peace.” He smiles and takes a sip of coffee but my gut churns. “I just want to get my head on right before Sunday because I have no intention of being laid up in bed with another headache next week because of our relatives.

  So, he is planning on being at the meeting. I was worrying for nothing.

  “Don’t you have a class or homework or something?”

  “Not right now.” I out and out lie to him. I’m not leaving here until everything is settled and Theo has a school to plan for real. No just the idea of it.

  I don’t think he’s buying it because he smirks before he takes a drink of coffee. “Brett been around?”

  “He’s been unpacking all week. He’ll be here tomorrow night.”

  Theo shoots me a look. “How come you aren’t helping him?

  “That’s not her place,” Grandma insists. Thankfully Grams didn’t see Theo roll his eyes.

  “First, I was worried about you. This was a bad one. And second, I was helping with the school. I want to be ready for Sunday as badly as you do.”

  He nods. “Just don’t neglect that guy. I like him and expect him to be around for you. And, don’t neglect your school. I’m counting on you to see it my school happens.”

  “You have nothing to worry about.”

  I haven’t seen Jackie since Sunday, but I will see her tonight. Of course, that didn’t keep me from calling her a couple of times a day and each night. I’m busy at work and I still have boxes to unpack. I don’t know where all the crap came from because I don’t remember accumulating it, and suspect Aunt Helen has been packing up boxes with stuff she finds at garage sales or on sale because there are dishes and towels I’ve never seen in my life. Maybe she was more anxious to get me out of the house than I realized. If that is the case, she sure hid it well.

  It’s just past four in the afternoon and I know Jackie’s alone in the house because Theo was going to take Mrs. Baxter to therapy. I’m not exactly alone in the office. I don’t have near enough seniority to move beyond a desk in a large room with even more desks and agents sitting at them, but at least Jackie will be able to talk more freely and not have to go hide in her room.

  “Hey,” she answers. “How’s your day going?”

  “Great. It is Friday.”

  “I was thinking. I could come to your place tonight instead of you making the long drive here.”

  “I thought you wanted to be around for Theo.”

  “He’s better and I’m not that worried. He wants to go up into the mountains tomorrow and take some photographs.”

  My first reaction is to either keep him from going or to go with him.

  “He wants to get his head on straight and get prepared for Sunday.”

  Well, if he’s talking about Sunday, I don’t really need to worry. “I can pick up a pizza or hit the grocery store and cook something.”

  “Pizza and beer.” The perfect end to a long week. There’s a smile in her voice and I cannot wait to see her. Having her alone in my new house won’t be so bad either.

  “Hey, hold on. Someone’s at the door.”

  I don’t like that she’s all alone and isolated right now, but the kid who was stalking her is getting help and family is somewhat close. Still, she’s alone and I don’t like it. “Check who it is before opening the door.”

  I swear I can hear her eyes roll. “Yes, Mr. FBI.”

  I don’t know why I’m on edge, but suddenly I am and for no good reason.

  “It’s your uncle,” she says with a chipper voice.

  My gut tightens. Uncle Quinn is working right now and not making visits to acquaintances.

  “Hey Jackie, can I come in?”

  “Sure.” The cheeriness is gone from her voice. “What’s going on?” Now the wariness is creeping in.

  “There’s no better way to tell you this.”

  “Oh God,” we both say at the same time.

  “There’s been an accident,” my uncle says solemnly. I’m grabbing my stuff and shutting down my computer as I’m listening to their conversation. I’m not off work for 45 more minutes but I don’t care. I scribble out “emergency” on a note and shove it under my co-worker’s nose. He nods and I dash for the elevator.

  “There was an accident and your grandmother has been taken to MidHudson. I don’t know her condition right now.”

  “And Theo. Is he okay? Where did they take him?”

  There is a long pause and I hope I just lost the connection when I stepped into the elevator and that my uncle is telling Jackie that Theo is fine.

>   “I’m sorry, Jackie.”

  The next thing I hear is a bang of what must be her cellphone hitting the marble in the foyer and then the call is lost. I quickly dial my Uncle Quinn’s phone, hoping he answers.

  “Brett?”

  “Tell Jackie that I’m on my way and will meet her at MidHudson. Tell her family and make sure someone stays with her. Call me if anything changes.”

  I don’t give him a chance to respond but hang up and start my car.

  I keep my phone within reach and the volume turned up so I don’t miss any calls and drive as fast as I dare. I’m kind of speeding but I’m not that much over. And, despite how worried I am, I’m being careful, but all I can think about is getting to Jackie as this turns out to be the longest drive of my life.

  I think I’m practically out of the car before it even comes to a full stop and run into the ER. I don’t know if that is where they’ll have Mrs. Baxter, but my Aunt Helen is on duty in the ER and will tell me where I should go. My Uncle Quinn is standing in front of the desk.

  “Mrs. Baxter?”

  “In trauma and should be okay.”

  I breathe out a sigh then look around the waiting room. Jackie isn’t there. Nor is anyone from her family.

  “They are in there.” He points to a private family waiting room. The kind that all ERs have for delivering bad news, or I assume that is what they are for. Jackie already received the worst news. And I have to prepare myself to go in there. The long drive should have done that but now that I’m faced with seeing her I’m not sure I even know what to say.

  “Do you know what happened?” I finally ask my uncle.

  “One car accident. Theo was driving. It went off the road. We just don’t know why and are hoping Mrs. Baxter will be able to tell us.”

  The cause could be anything from a blown tire, an animal ran out in front of them and he swerved.

  “It doesn’t look like he even attempted to brake, or let off on the gas and plowed right into a tree. Mrs. Baxter is very lucky her injuries are so minimal in comparison.”

  I glance over at the closed door, not sure if I should go in. Her whole family is in there. I’m not family and they might not like me intruding on them.

  “Go,” my uncle urges. “She needs you.”

  That’s all I need to hear and I take a deep breath and open the door. Jackie is sitting in a chair against the far wall just staring off into space. Some of her aunts and uncles are here, the ones that are the children of Mrs. Baxter, but nobody is talking.

  She looks up and sees me. Her face crumbles and a sob breaks from her lips. Grabbing her to me I hold Jackie close as she sobs into my chest. There really isn’t anything I can say. All I can do is hold her for as long as she needs me.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Numbness! That is all I feel, if you can feel numbness. Isn’t numbness the absence of feeling?

  Why did this happen? Nobody knows and I hate that.

  Grandma is going to be okay, but she’s sedated and will have to be in the hospital for a while because of a few bruised ribs and fractured hip. They are going to wait to do surgery, to see if she’ll need it or not. With her heart condition, they don’t want make her go through anything major if she doesn’t need to. Until she is more alert, she won’t be able to tell us anything.

  Theo is a good driver. Cautious. I don’t get how this happened or why.

  Brett wouldn’t let me go by the accident scene. Hell, he won’t even tell me where it is, or where the car was taken. He said I don’t need to deal with that now and to give it time. That’s all I have is time. Yet, I don’t. Even though Theo is in the morgue, they are holding the body until my grandmother tells them what happened. One of my Aunts mentioned that Theo takes different meds, not that she’d know if he took them or not.

  I shouldn’t be bitter and I know they mean well, but they don’t know the issues we’ve had with Theo not taking his meds. Besides, Theo would never drive if he was feeling even a bit off. It’s one of the reasons he hates the drugs. And, he would never drive Grams if he didn’t feel right.

  Even though they are holding him for now, I still had to tell them which mortuary to take him to. We only have one in town and named that one. Within a few hours their director came to see me in the ER. I get that decisions need to be made but couldn’t they have waited at least a day?

  “It gives you something to focus on, Jackie,” one of my aunts said. “Details help at a time like this.”

  How the hell would she know? Her siblings are alive and I don’t believe she had to ever plan anyone’s funeral.

  The tears start up again. I am not supposed to be planning my eighteen-year-old brother’s funeral. Nobody should have to plan a funeral for someone that age.

  Since nobody is allowed to see Grams until tomorrow, my aunts and uncles sent me home. A few wanted to come stay with me, but I didn’t want them. I didn’t want anyone but Brett. He hasn’t left my side since he got to the hospital and I don’t know what I’d do without him here.

  He unlocks the front door and turns on a light before I step inside. My phone is shattered on the floor and I just kick it out of the way.

  “Can I get you something to eat or drink?”

  I just shake my head. I don’t want anything right now. I couldn’t eat if forced to.

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  There isn’t a damn thing anyone can do. My baby brother is dead and I don’t know why.

  I’m supposed to meet with the funeral director tomorrow. I was told to bring clothes, pictures, information for the obituary. Thankfully he gave me a list of stuff he needed because otherwise, I would remember it all.

  I also need to call the Red Cross. That’s who we are to call when there is an emergency and we need to get in touch with a soldier. They’ll make all the arrangements to bring Tyler home. But, I don’t even know when the funeral is, so how can I tell them? I won’t know until they decide to release Theo and who knows how long they’ll decide to hold onto him. I don’t even get why they are. It was an auto accident.

  “Why don’t you lay down and try and get some sleep?”

  Brett is trying, he really is, but I don’t need him to do anything but be here. “I need to get the things.”

  “What things?”

  “Funeral stuff.”

  “That can wait until tomorrow.”

  “I’d rather do it now, while I think I can.” I shake my head. “Can you go into the back room, the family room where the television is? There is a cabinet on the far wall full of photo albums. Can you put those on the dining room table?”

  “Sure thing. What are you going to do?”

  “Pick out clothes.”

  I grab the banister and start up the stairs. I should not have to be picking out the clothes my brother is going to be buried in. He was supposed to live to be old and decrepit, longer than me. This is messed up and so wrong.

  Pausing at the door I flip on the light but I can’t move forward.

  Theo didn’t make his bed today. Grandma would be so pissed. But, if anyone could get away with breaking her rules, it was Theo. The maid has the day off otherwise it probably would have been made.

  The rest of his room is neat and I walk to the closet, open the doors and turn on the light and just stare.

  Nice clothes. Aren’t people usually buried in nice clothing? It’s not like I’ve been to all that many funerals, but the bodies are always dressed as if they are going to church or a wedding or something like that.

  Theo would hate to be buried in a suit and tie. Hell, I’m not even sure he owns one that fits.

  I can’t do that to him. Theo liked his jeans and t-shirts. That is all he wore and I’m not going to dishonor him but making him wear a tie to his own funeral. That is just so wrong.

  His favorite, faded jeans are hanging there and I grab them from the closet and then lay them on the unmade bed.

  I probably should make it. Grandma would want me to, but I don
’t want to change what Theo left. If he wanted it made, he would have made it all up nice.

  A t-shirt. I need one of those. But which one?

  His dresser is on a different wall and I walk to it. An envelope, with my name on it, is leaning against the mirror.

  It’s Theo’s handwriting and I pick it up, my hands shaking. Why would he write me a letter?

  Behind it is a CD in an unmarked, plain envelope.

  I’ll worry about that after I read his letter.

  Sinking down onto the bed I take it out and unfold the paper.

  Jackie,

  If you’re reading this, then I finally did it. I’ve thought about it a lot and wanted to get my “affairs” in order, like I actually have any. I know you will cry, be pissed and hurt, but this is for the best. I can’t live like this anymore. If I’m off drugs, my head hurts, I’m sick, and I can’t concentrate. When I’m on the meds, I’m a fucking zombie. I sleep all the time and have to force food down my throat. There is no place where I am awake and without pain. Hell, even off the meds I’m exhausted and nothing works. NOTHING!

  You and I both know that it’s going to be this way until it’s over. Like in over, over, and that’s no way to live. Some people might go on but I don’t want to. I can’t do this anymore.

  I have not made this choice lightly because I worried about you the most. Tyler is off doing good work, a soldier and he will soldier on. He is not, under any circumstances, to come home. What good would his attending my funeral be when there are bad guys to get? Tell him I love him, to be safe and keep up the good fight.

  You have a good guy now, Jackie. You will never be alone and all it took was a “moment”. I know Brett will always be there for you. I can tell by the way he looks at you and the smile you get when talking about him. Don’t fuck it up and don’t be hard on him when he’s late or misses a date.

  No, I don’t remember that day other than some stranger telling me that Mom and Dad were killed and then you explaining to me how they were living in heaven now. I didn’t understand what being killed was until then. But, you can’t judge others because of that day. Just because someone can’t be there doesn’t mean they don’t care or they are dead. Brett’s job is important. He’s also fighting the good fight and cannot always be there the moment you need him, but he will always be there when it matters. That’s what’s important. And, because you now have him and he loves you as much as you love him, I’m free to do what I’ve wanted to do for over a year.