Becoming His

by Angel Marks

  “All right, well, I just don’t feel like dating anyone right now. I’m focusing on my career. That’s why I moved downstate, to find success through myself, not to be distracted by men and end up marrying one. Besides…”

  “There is nothing wrong with marrying a rich bloke.”

  “Bloke? Are you British?”

  “No, but I really like the sound of that. All those bloody blokes out there can fuck themselves, for all I care.”

  “Wow. That’s a bit extreme. Where’s all this anger coming from?”

  “Just venting. Sorry, Noelle. I’m giving Joelle some time, but I miss her and it really hurts.”

  Noelle gave her friend a hug. “It will be okay, I’m sure Joelle will call you soon, and if she doesn’t, don’t worry, something good is bound to happen.”

  “Eating your own words. When are you going to call Will? He’s the reason you’re turning down every eligible bachelor in New York. Who is this guy? The way you paint him, I may just decide to go straight. Heck, you’re turning down Bob Dylan and Mark Bartholomew for him.”

  Noelle didn’t say anything. She had had some drinks and definitely felt it. She pulled Anna by the hand down to the sandy beach where the moon hung over the ocean like a disco ball. They fell to the ground in a pile.

  “Look, just look at that moon! It’s so full. It’s beautiful and fuck Juliet for not wanting to be compared to it. The moon changes and so do I. I don’t know a woman who doesn’t. Maybe I’ve moved on from Will Martin, Anna. Maybe this is how it’s meant to be.”

  “Really? Don’t feed me that line of bullshit girl. If this is how it’s meant to be, then you will stop pining over him and get your ass back in the game. But no, you’re pining. Will Martin is not over. It says so all over your face.”

  “All right, so maybe there’s some truth to that. The moon is green with a jealous rage. I don’t wanna be green, Anna. Just yellow, or orange, or maybe red, but green is for witches.”

  “Have you seen Wicked?”

  They gazed up at the fabulous full bodied moon and listened to the ocean lapping close to shore. “There are probably sharks and whales right out there, so close to us right now, and yet in completely different worlds.” Noelle hypothesized as she remembered her whale watching adventure a year ago with Will.

  “What are you afraid of?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “All right, well, if you want, I’ll go with you.”

  “What?”

  “We could drive up tomorrow and you could ring his bell and sort it all out.”

  “Why would you do that for me?”

  “Because I’m getting sick of watching you turn down world-class men. I would like to meet Will Martin for myself.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Noelle turned and grinned at her. “And just what are you going to say when you meet the infamous Will Martin?”

  “I will congratulate him on having the ability to keep a girl faithful when she’s living in the biggest wolf trap in the States, and ask him for his secret.”

  “Wolf trap and States. Oh, Anna, you really do crack me up. Let’s go to London for our next vacation.”

  “Definitely, I’m down, but just so you know wolf trap is my own euphemism. They don’t have wolves in the UK, and before that, you need to resolve your relationship issues.”

  “All right, but I’m not letting you drive me. I’m going to take the bus, and I’m not going tomorrow. This can wait until we’re back in the city. If Will meant what he said, he’ll still be waiting when I get there, and if not, well…”

  “You’ll put him to rest,” Anna proclaimed.

  “Or I’ll pine even more!” Noelle sat up from the wet sand and pulled Anna up with her. They skipped back home to the beat of a reggae band playing on the boardwalk and the soft roar of the ocean lapping at the shore, an experience much like flying at night, seeing the lights and buildings below, long stretches of darkness, small towns and then big cities. In both experiences Noelle was struck by her own mortality, and the need to live her life with integrity.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  It was a late Friday afternoon in the second week of August when Noelle boarded the bus to Brighton only carrying her sample sale Marc Jacobs’ hobo where she stashed her iPad and necessities for an overnight stay. She spent the entire three hour trip working, trying not to think about where she was going. If she thought too long she was certain she would get off the bus at the next stop and go right back home. There. She had finally associated New York City with her home and god forbid she get wrapped back up in Will and lose everything she had gained in independence. Still, she was compelled to see him and knew exactly where to find him thanks to Lori, their mutual friend from Harness.

  She hadn’t told Lori she was coming to town. She just called her, knowing she would spill everything without being asked. The one thing she didn’t say, though, was whether Will was seeing anyone and she wasn’t about to ask. She would find out for herself.

  Noelle pulled into town at almost nine that night and decided to take a cab to Jimmy’s Place, where Lori had said Will tended bar now on the weekends. If it went poorly, she imagined she could go back on the midnight bus to Manhattan.

  The cab stunk like stale cigarettes. “Where to?” the cabbie asked.

  “Jimmy’s Place, please.”

  “Where you from?” the cabbie asked as he watched her in his rearview mirror.

  “New York,” she said, knowing that six months in New York City did not qualify her as being from there, but right now that is where she had just come from.

  “Oh yeah? I grew up in the Bronx. Came up here just five years ago for my kids. It’s better up here for ‘em. They get into less trouble.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Where you at?”

  “I’m working in Manhattan right now.”

  “Good for you! I drove a cab down there for eleven years, but you’re not from the city lass, you’re a transplant, aren’t ya?”

  “Oh, you can tell?”

  “Aw, naw, but the Manhattanites, they’re special. They come in from all over the whole god damn world, some of the most beautiful people, smartest people in the world, but usually they didn’t grow up there. They just moved in for the opportunities.”

  “Wow, that’s a compliment. And you got me. I’m not from the city.”

  “See, whadayaknow, I’m right.”

  Noelle smiled at her gregarious driver. “I grew up twenty minutes from here in Andes.”

  “Oh, yeah? That’s a nice area, lots of woods and big houses, big yards, a good place for kids.”

  “All that’s true, but it’s also an incredibly boring place for kids,” She added. “But you’re right considering how much trouble a kid can get into in the city. I guess I was pretty fortunate to have an uneventful childhood in Andes, but perhaps that’s why now I’m seeking adventure elsewhere.”

  “Well I hate to break it to ya, doll, but Jimmy’s Place is not the kinda place you wanna be seeking your adventures.”

  As he pulled up to the dive, she noted it was two doors down from the Iron Glass. Right where we started. How appropriate. A good place to end it then, too she thought to herself.

  Well, this is it. Do or die. She stood there on the sidewalk looking at the building, letting the cabbie drive away. She hadn’t put much thought into what she was wearing, but felt confident enough in a pair of worn Calvin Klein jeans that had ripped on their own after years of endless wear, strappy wedge heeled sandals, and a fitted white tank top. Her hair was pulled back and piled up on her head so it wouldn’t bother her as she worked on the bus. She made a last minute decision to let her hair down and did her best to brush it out a bit. The combination of humidity and having been tied up gave it an abnormally large amount of body, like a lion’s mane, fitting as she was just in from the jungle, that she tried to tame before pushing open the door and letting her eyes adjust to the dimly lit room.

  The patrons took her back to t
he afternoon at the Iron Glass, career drinkers lined the stools and filled the booths, mostly middle aged and older, but there was also a younger crowd in the room, over by the bar. She glanced at that group of scantily clad young women heavily made up with exposed boobs, short skirts, and stiletto heels. In the middle of them sat one in particular, she had long strawberry blonde hair and she was laughing loudly with her head back and her breasts practically on the bar, long legs confidently crossed in a tiny red mini-skirt. She was flirting up Will Martin.

  Noelle stood there in the doorway stock still, taking it all in. Will stood behind the bar in his signature white T-shirt, dimpled grin, and cleft chin, but he wasn’t looking at that girl. His smile was all for Noelle. Their eyes locked. Nothing could break their connection.

  The girl stopped laughing after realizing that Will wasn’t paying attention to her and turned around to see what he was looking at. Will dropped his towel on the bar and walked to her at the door.

  “You look beautiful. What took you so long? I’ve missed you.” He captured her hands in his, leaned in, and kissed her lips, delicately and with feeling. Noelle felt herself getting lost in his kiss, but he pulled back before she could forget where they were.

  She stood there speechless, her hands clasped in his, lost in his green eyes. “I’ve been working, a lot,” was all she could think to reply.

  “All right, just give me a minute.” Will went back to the bar and spoke to an older man she presumed to be Jimmy, and then untied the apron that was around his waist leaving it behind the bar.

  “Where are you going?” whined the girl in the red skirt.

  “Goodnight, girls,” he said to them nonchalantly, holding up a hand to them but not even looking in their direction as he walked by to Noelle’s side. He opened the heavy, dark wooden door, and escorted her outside.

  They were out the door and he took her arm in his and escorted her like Cinderella to the dance floor, except they ended in the gravel parking lot where an old Indian motorcycle was parked. “What’s this?” Noelle asked in surprise.

  “I figured it was time.” Will handed her the one helmet that was resting on the back bar. “Will you ride?”

  “I’ve never been on a motorcycle before.” Their eyes were still locked in a stream of electricity.

  “Good. That’s what I like to hear.” Will grinned.

  “Okay, but where’s your helmet?”

  “Right here, you’re wearing it.” Will reached over and helped her secure the strap under her chin, and then he opened his saddle bags and buckled in her bag on one side, and part of its contents on the other.

  He straddled the bike and revved the motor. “Get on.”

  He pointed to where she should put her feet. “Be careful not to let your legs touch here,” he said, pointing to the exhaust pipe. She swung her leg over and settled into the bitch seat of his bike, wrapping her arms around his strong, hard stomach.

  “Hang on, babe.” And they were off, cruising into the night, hitting the stoplights through the red light part of town. “Where would you like to go?” he asked her as they sat at a red light while hookers worked the corner by them.

  “I’d like to get out of here, Daddy,” just fell out of her mouth, and Will responded with a look of need. He revved the engine and they didn’t catch another red light as he headed out to the highway and took them back to the water preserve, where they had spent their first solo date, fishing more than a year ago.

  It was a starry night and the moon hung low, almost full, but not quite. Finally, they arrived and Noelle was exhilarated from the ride. She pulled off the helmet and threw her arms around Will as soon as they disembarked in the empty parking lot high up on a hill below the water bank. Here it was peaceful, silent except for the chirps of the crickets and frogs, and the calls of the night birds and coyotes. They were alone in the wild.

  Will responded to Noelle with expert ease and equal excitement. He matched her vigor with a manliness that she had gone far too long without. Their mouths fused together in an electrifying kiss, and his arms enveloped her body and pulled her close enough that she could feel his enormous erection through his jeans, reminding her of what she had gone without for the past six months.

  Their need for each other became frantic as Will lifted her up and held her bottom. Noelle’s legs wrapped around his waist, and her arms entwined around his neck, all provocateur displayed as he dropped her down and slipped off her jeans and lace panties before lifting her again and with ease sliding into her. Noelle cried out as the overwhelming feeling of his cock reemerged into her core. She bent back, giving him control. He guided her body back and forth on his dick, bringing her to a masterful orgasm before pulling out and coming all over her stomach.

  Will held her in his arms, squeezing her to him, before setting her down to redress. Once dressed, Will led her to a picnic table nearby and they settled together, her leaning back into his arms, on top of it. Gazing up at the stars together, they lay in content silence.

  “Everything seems right when I’m with you.” Noelle finally spoke.

  Their hands intertwined, Will responded sincerely, “That’s because when we’re together, everything’s right.”

  Noelle sighed in agreement. How could I have left? Was running through her brain and yet she knew it had been the right choice. The last six months had been necessary for her to gain her independence, the career she had always wanted, and the excitement of living in New York City, the antithesis of Brighton, but without Will, the man who had given her the courage and confidence to try. Noelle turned around to face him rather than the moon.

  “Will, I’m sorry I disappeared from you. I needed to grow, on my own. I needed to show myself that I could make it on my own and be strong. I didn’t mean to worry you, or to hurt you though I’m sure I have, and for that I’m sorry.”

  Will didn’t say anything, so she continued. “In these six months there has not been a day that I didn’t think about you, and although I seemingly disappeared, I want you to know that I’ve been faithful to you. I haven’t dated anyone… Not that I expect you to have waited around for me, because I know I’ve been terrible to stop taking your calls and I deserve whatever’s happened, but I’m here now. I couldn’t stay away any longer, and if you will give me a chance to somehow make this right, I’m begging you to take me back.”

  “Noelle, I never gave you away, so I don’t need to take you back.” Noelle looked at him with confusion. His eyes were soft and kind, sincere and loving. “You’re still mine, babe.”

  Her face filled with happiness at the recognition of what her beau was saying. They fell into an embrace that was pure and binding.

  “Noelle, I was very worried about you over these past six months, but I knew you needed your space. Not hearing from you every night, not knowing that you had gotten home safe, that you were okay, worried that you could be hurt or struggling somehow, or even falling for someone else kept me from sleeping all these nights, and it kept me going. It took a lot for me not to show up at your door to make sure you were safe.

  “But I was safe, Will. Nothing bad happened.”

  “I know.”

  “What? How do you know?”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “What? That sounds weird. What are you talking about?”

  “Noelle, I knew you needed some space, but I needed peace of mind that you were safe every night, that’s all.”

  “What? Oh, my god, Will, what did you do?”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “No, really, Will Martin, what did you do?”

  Will let out a sigh of exasperation. “This is going to sound bad, but I did it to take care of you, Noelle, so I hope you’ll understand…”

  “Oh, my god! You had me watched, didn’t you? You were spying on me!”

  “Noelle, I hired a service to let me know that you got home every night safe. That was the only way I could get my mind off you and get any work done around here.
”

  “What? You hired a service!?” Noelle looked at him, mouth open, trying to decide if she was appalled or flattered.

  “Yeah, your next door neighbor, Mrs. Dillinger, has been giving me a daily report on you every day since you stopped taking my calls.”

  “Mrs. Dillinger!?”

  “Yes, the elderly Mrs. Dillinger said she understood my concern for your safety.”

  “Really? Mrs. Dillinger? You pay her to spy on me?”

  “Not much. She was happy to do it after we had lunch with her the first week you moved in. Remember she gave us her number and said if we ever needed anything not to hesitate to call.”

  Noelle wracked her brain to the day. Elderly Mrs. Dillinger had recalled her own story of moving to the city from a small town many decades ago, and her neighborliness was akin to the unusual in the brutally private city of windows and secrets.

  “Wow.” Noelle sat speechless, digesting his admission. “Will, I would run into her every day. Now I know it wasn’t by accident. I’m not sure how to react to this. Any city girl would probably say ‘Run! He’s a crazy stalker,’ but I’m not so sure of that. What am I supposed to do?”

  “I’m sorry, too, then, Noelle. You have to do what you need to do, like I did, for my own peace of mind. If it’s too much for you, then we don’t belong together, because this is who I am.”

  Noelle looked up at the ever changing moon, now partially hiding behind a cloud, processing that Will had been keeping tabs on her even when she thought she was on her own. She watched the cloud drift away, revealing a field of stars.

  “Will, I feel like a fool, but for some reason I’m not angry. I think I understand why you did it, but you need to know that I can’t move back. I’m finally getting somewhere with my career and Brighton isn’t it for me at all. Yet, I have everything I want so far in life, but you.”

  “Then include me.”

  “But how do we make this work and who is Jessica?”

  “Jessica?” Will looked at her, confused.

  “Yes. I tried to call you a little more than a week ago.”