Freak

by Alicia Masterson

  And so the night came again, and like always, Corey and Brian would pick up something from the bar before heading upstairs. In just over a week, they were already entirely used to each other. They were already naked, each with a glass of wine, just enjoying the other's company.

  "Abigail talked with me today," Corey started, wanting to get the unpleasant business out of the way first.

  "I noticed. What about it?"

  Corey laughed, not missing the irony of the situation, "She asked me to keep an eye on you, because she suspects that you're cheating on her."

  "No!" Brian gasped in feigned shock, bending forward slightly to give him a playful kiss before downing the rest of his drink, putting the glass aside for the night. "What could possibly give her that impression?"

  "She's just crazy, that's all," Corey said, laughing.

  "Well, she can think whatever she wants; I know she's not going to give up this relationship. You should have seen her face Friday night; I guess you ihave/i taught me well."

  "I can't take all the credit… you learn quickly," he replied. "You even surprise ime/i every night too."

  Brian's face lost its brightness, he brows furrowed with thought. "Corey, after last Friday, I've been thinking. What we have, what we're doing, I love it so much. It's all that makes life worth living lately."

  "I feel the same way, why bring it up?"

  "I've never given it any real thought until I realized how much I despise Abigail. I've wanted her for so long; I thought I was so attracted to her. Before I dated her, I could barely ever keep her out of my mind, I was even stupid enough to think that I was falling in love. But now? I don't feel anything, not even from the sex. I think I might be gay."

  Corey couldn't hide the excitement on his face, but he swallowed his joy. There was nothing he wanted more at this point than to hug the life out of this guy and yell, "I want to be with you too!" Then they would be together forever happily ever after, the end.

  But Corey experienced too much to know that such a fate was a farce where they lived. People would hate them for it, or worse, would try to hurt them. He knew what kind of mentalities existed in their humble city. As much as he wanted Brian, he knew that it would be better for both of them if he kept Brian deluded. He wanted what was best for Brian, and he knew that he wasn't it.

  "I've told you before, it's just sex, right? You don't have to be gay if you enjoy the sex. We're friends, we'll always be, but being close doesn't make us gay, either." His words drove a spike through his own heart, but he forced himself to look like he meant them honestly.

  "So… it's just sex to you. I can't accept that, 'just sex' is what I have with Abigail; what we have is a thousand times more meaningful than that, even I can feel it. But maybe you're right, we might just be ireally/i close friends," Brian said suggestively, closing the already small gap between them. "And I can deal with that. So, close friend, while we're here and naked, are you in the mood for some 'just sex'?"

  "You're right, it doesn't have to be 'just sex,"" Corey laughed, seeing the truth in his words. Even if he had to delude Brian, he wouldn't lie to him about what they already did have.

  "So we're more than best friends, but we're less than… boyfriends. What does that make us?" Brian asked.

  "It makes us Brian and Corey. Titles mean nothing. What matters is us."

  "That's enough for me."

  'I wish I could say the same thing.'

  --

  The rest of December flew by, until it was the last day of school before the break, the week before Christmas. Spirits were running higher than normal, students seen everywhere with gift bags and boxes meant for their friends and sometimes their favorite teachers.

  Brian and Abigail's relationship had by this point deteriorated into mutual disgust. Abigail knew he was cheating on her, but she didn't know who it was with. Brian just couldn't stand her in general. But if anyone was asked, they would say that the couple was the perfect picture of happy and popular.

  As if on cue, Abigail ran up to Brian, offering him a decorated gift bag, busting with pink paper.

  'Oh, God, I hope she doesn't make a scene because I didn't get her anything.'

  "You can open it now, if you want!"

  He was surprised. Well, not really. As much of a douche as she was, he never doubted her ability to pick out jewelry and clothing. Sitting in the bag was a jewelry box. It contained a gold chain necklace, with two gold circle charms around a centimeter in diameter, one engraved with the letter "B," and the other with "A." The chain fit perfectly around his neck, and the charms were just small enough to not be obnoxious. He noted to himself that the charms almost made it look like a collar, smiling from the irony.

  "I love it," Brian said, with honesty that surprised him. "I'm sorry that I didn't get you anything though."

  "Don't worry about it; we agreed to not get each other anything. It looks fabulous on you though."

  As they walked up to Corey's car, he raised an eyebrow at the new jewelry. "Nice bling."

  'I bet he'll enjoy my gift just a little bit more than jewelry though. Wait, I have to stop thinking like that. I'm not competing with her. If I was, I would have won weeks ago.'

  --

  Brian was surprised. The last day of school for this semester passed by without a hitch, no more boring or interesting than usual. He was looking forward to having two and half weeks to spend with Corey without school, but then again, it was Christmas. He might have to go to his old home, at least for a while.

  The bell rang during eighth period History, and he had to run just to avoid being caught in the melee to the parking lot. In the chaos of people, he didn't see who was following him this time. He managed to find Corey, Abigail, Dallas and James, who were all waiting for him at the edge of the parking lot. By the time he saw Abigail's glare directed behind him though, it was too late.

  "Brian, remember me?" Christine asked, tapping him on the shoulder to catch his attention. It had been around a month since she had spoken with him last. She wouldn't be denied this time.

  "What do you want? I have to go."

  "Go where? It's Christmas, you've got plenty of free time. Or at least you used to," she said, nodding towards the rest of his friends.

  "You don't own me, I don't have to tell you anything, in fact, I don't even have to talk to-"

  "STOP IT! Why are you talking like that, like I've done anything wrong? Why are you being such a fucking bitch to me?" She shouted, the cold stinging her tearing eyes.

  "Listen, I have no idea what you're talking about. I see Brian over there by your car. Go to him, you're just embarrassing yourself."

  "WHY ARE YOU LYING?!" She shouted, loud enough to catch people's attention around them.

  Brian was beginning to feel the prickling on his skin that foreshadowed public humiliation. He sighed, knowing he had to nip this problem in the bud. If she was going to be like that, so could he. Brian took her by the arm, half dragging Christine to a location that he noticed had a large group of people just standing around.

  'Good,' he thought, 'I need a lot of people to see this. She needs to get the picture, now.'

  "Corey, do you have any idea what he's doing?" Abigail asked, as they followed him to wherever he was headed.

  "Not a clue."

  Brian suddenly stopped, twisting Christine's arm painfully and putting his face a few inches away from hers. He did his best to wear a face of pure hatred, mostly by imagining that Abigail was standing in her spot. With that mental image locked in place, the rest came without effort.

  "Listen to me this time, I'm never saying it again," he said, loud enough for the surrounding people to hear, "Leave me, the FUCK alone. I have new friends now, I don't need you. Actually, I've NEVER needed you. I can't stand being around you! You make me so sick, I feel like throwing up whenever you're around. You want to know iwhy/i I'm treating you like a bitch!? Maybe it's because you ARE one!"

  He ended his tirade with a snarl, letting go of he
r arm, just to push her backwards with more force than he wanted. She fell flat on her rear, too stunned and in shock to feel the pain. Brian continued to stare hatefully at her, spitting in her general direction, before walking towards his car, signaling for his friends to follow.

  "Merry Christmas," he said sarcastically, loud enough for Christine to hear. Brian's demeanor grew less and less confident as he broke away from the crowd still around Christine.

  Corey looked around, noticing that Abigail hadn't followed Brian. He saw the look in Brian's eyes, recognizing it from the first night he asked to stay with him. There were no tears this time, there was nothing at all. The best he could do to comfort him in public was a hand on his shoulder, which Brian reflexively brushed away.

  'I can't believe how much I got into that act. Those are all things I've wanted to say and do to Abigail for a long time now. I can't be sorry I had to let it out on Christine though, she needs to back off. Everything would be easier if she just hated me back.'

  Brian rushed to Christine's side, helping her up and guiding her away from the by now laughing crowd. She was too far gone for the laughter to get to her though, and Brian stayed by her at her car until she snapped out of it. She never got the chance though, because Abigail was coming.

  Corey saw her approaching Christine too, and he motioned Brian to look, too. "Are you prepared to let this happen? It's not going to be pretty."

  He nodded, just watching.

  Abigail's face was beaming with sadistic joy. She flaunted herself in front of Christine, flipping her hair in front of her face. "Looks like I won. In the end, Brian wanted pretty, popular me, instead of ugly, worthless you. What a surprise. Looks like Brian's attention is all mine now-"

  Her speech was cut by a resounding slap. Christine woke up, and following her first instinct, she nailed her across the face, before opening her door.

  "You can have him. His attention is yours. Just stay the fuck away from me," Christine said through clenched teeth. She turned around towards Brian's parking spot, and unsurprisingly, she saw him looking back. The brief moment their eyes met, she had nothing but disbelief in her eyes that he would just stand there and not even try to defend her.

  Abigail rubbed her cheek, still smiling, waving sarcastically as Christine drove out of the emptying parking lot.

  "You know, no one would have thought differently if you stopped Abigail from doing that," Corey said, surprised that Brian just stood there.

  "It needed to be said," he replied quietly, the dead look still in his eyes as he entered his car. "I'll meet you at home."

  CHAPTER FIVE

  In the time it took for Brian to reach Corey's home, his disposition had lightened up considerably. It didn't happened exactly the way he would have liked, but he did finally get exactly what he wanted. He wasn't smiling, but there was life in his eyes again, and renewed hope for the future. There were some issues that still needed to be dealt with, but nothing that he couldn't handle with Corey's support.

  Corey parked next to his car, and accompanied Brian to his house. "You're looking a little bit better. Do you still want a drink?"

  "No thank you, I'm fine for today. I had to be ugly to do it, but I'm pretty sure everyone that used to be close to me finally got the message. Besides, after we eat and work out, I really wanted to go to the mall."

  "Why?" Corey asked, surprised that he turned down the offer for alcohol. He remembered how much Brian hit the bottle when he cussed out his parents and left. What he did to Christine was probably at least ten times as bad as that.

  "I figure that I should at least give everyone a goodbye present. I'd like for that part of my life to end with some closure. I probably need to get a card for my parents and Christine too, in apology," Brian said, doing his best to hide his guilt.

  "Sure, that sounds fine to me. Do you know what you're getting them?"

  "I have a pretty good idea. I do have one concern though…" Brian stated, pausing. "When I drop off those presents, there's a good chance I'll have to see my family. I don't know whether I owe it to them to at least spend Christmas at home. I don't think I could handle that. Not so soon."

  "Brian, I think I have a solution for your problem. Or at least an excuse. I wanted to leave it as a surprise until later on tonight when things got a bit more… romantic, but I think I could save you some grief if I gave your Christmas gifts now."

  "Gifts?" Brian said, guilty that this was the second time today he would be given a gift when he had nothing to offer himself.

  "Well, there're two. The first one, I got checked out. All the tests came back negative. I'm clean!"

  Brian blinked. That wasn't exactly what he was expecting, but it was still good news. "Congratulations, that's awesome! But what does that have to do with anything?"

  "Calm down, just wanted to get that piece of news out of the way. The real gift: If you're willing, I thought it would be great if we could go on a skiing trip to this lodge my family owns in the Swiss Alps. Just me, you, and some of the most beautiful mountains in the world! What do you say?"

  Brian knocked the air out of Corey's lungs with the force of his hug. "Corey, you're amazing! Of course I accept. I'm just sorry that I couldn't get you anything that awesome."

  "Don't be stupid. You're the best gift I've ever gotten. I should be getting you more for putting you through so much shit," Corey whispered, trying to his best to breathe properly. "Now kindly let go before I pass out…"

  "Haha, sorry, I'm just so psyched. Two and a half weeks without connections to my old life, just you, and me. Oh, man, we really have to go to the mall now, though. I don't have any gear. And I still owe it to my parents to let them know where I'm going. Corey, I'll never be able to repay you for this."

  "Stop thinking that you owe me anything. Friendship doesn't work like that," he said, shaking his head as he scrounged up something for them to eat. 'Relationships don't work like that either… Damn it, I have to stop thinking like that.'

  Brian watched Corey as he put the frozen pizza in the oven. He really did like Corey, a lot. It still nagged at his subconscious though that he didn't find Corey attractive. Something about his physical appearance never clicked with him. He went through a mental checklist, but it didn't add up. He knew that he was extremely attractive; he had a perfectly masculine face, an unbelievable body, hell, his smell alone was enough to turn him on. And he enjoyed their sex, no, love-making, immensely, on a physical and emotional level.

  'But I meant what I said that day. I think I might be gay. He's my best friend, my lover, my everything right now, but I've never felt that... something for him. If I can't be attracted to him, he might just be right. I might not be gay. I guess it doesn't matter that much though. Nothing would change between us even if we were official.' His train of thought broke when Corey closed the oven.

  "Hey, I just thought of something. What about your Christmas plans? Don't you and your family ever do anything for the holidays?"

  Corey shrugged, expecting the question. "Like I said, my parents never come here, and if they do, it's not because of a holiday. Sometimes my brothers, especially Adam, come to visit for my birthday or holidays, but they won't be surprised if I'm not here. It wouldn't be the first time."

  "Wow, I can't imagine a Christmas without my family and friends. This is the first time for me. It's partly why I'm so excited. But what do you usually do, then?"

  "I'm usually alone. Some years, I've had some pleasurable company over to pass the time and help me forget," Corey lied. He wasn't ready to let Brian know about that particular part of his past. The truth was, he usually spent Christmas with Brian and the rest of the Holden family, who was more than willing to let him stay for the holidays. But that was long past. There was no need to bring up pointless memories right now.

  "I'm sorry… but at least that's going to change this year!" Brian said, beaming. It felt good to know that he was making such a difference in Corey's life. He couldn't help but smile, anyway. Everythi
ng was finally falling into place.

  --

  "So, do you have any clue where you want to start?" Corey asked, resisting the temptation to hold Brian's hand as they dodged through the masses of shopping people.

  "I have a pretty good idea," Brian replied, leading him around the mall. They went to a toy store first to pick up a teddy bear for Christine. Corey was surprised at how little time the whole ordeal took.

  "You must have given this a lot of thought already," he asked, as they waited for the cashier to check out a copy of Grand Theft Auto 4.

  "Well, a little bit, on the way here. I haven't spoken with Brian or Lee in a long time. They probably already have it. Well, just in case, I'll just give them the receipt too. It's the thought that counts, right?" He asked, rushing out of the store as soon as the game was bagged. "Last stop, cards."

  "For who?"

  "Parents and Christine. I owe them apologies. And a formal goodbye, I guess," Brian said, managing to still appear cheerful on the outside. He bought two blank Christmas cards, and he smiled at Corey, his Christmas shopping finished.

  "Where to next?"

  Brian's smile blanched at he realized what had to be done next. "Well… we could go home to wrap this stuff, but then I need to drop them off at home. It would probably be better if you didn't come."

  --

  As Brian pulled into a spot in the mall parking lot, he looked curiously at Christine, who seemed to have gone back to her normal self. She was laughing, smiling, and outwardly appeared to be like any other teenager during the holiday season. He shook his head. He knew it was just a façade, but he was glad that she was at least willing to talk now.

  "You know, we should probably get Brian something too," Christine said, as they walked into the entrance of the mall. "It's only right."