A Father's Gift

by Andrea Edwards

  “Oh, I haven’t, either,” Cassie said with a laugh. “I’m compounding the interest daily.”

  She could mock all she liked, but he was paying that debt. And soon.

  “I can still see that game,” Bobby was saying. “There was no time left on the clock and they were down by four. It was a touchdown or nothing.”

  Cassie rolled her eyes in response, but since Bobby was on the phone, he didn’t even pause in his recital. She glanced out the side window at the rain. It seemed to be slacking off. The storm must be just about past.

  “He broke one tackle after another…”

  She’d had calls from Bobby all weekend. And when it wasn’t him, it was Larry or Adam. They even had Fiona call the store after she got home from school. All with questions and comments and information about Jack.

  “And you wouldn’t believe how…”

  Cassie went over to the back window. Leaves and small branches were strewn across the backyard, presents of the thunderstorm that had rolled through about an hour ago. She wished she could change her family’s attitude as easily as she could clean up after a storm. Their persistence was the reason why she’d turned down Jack’s invitation to accompany him to his picnic. Well, one of the reasons. The main one was that she just didn’t want to get involved. Not now. Not with anyone.

  “So, are you bringing him to the picnic?” Bobby asked.

  Cassie woke from her thoughts in time. “We had dinner together once,” she informed him. “We are not dating.”

  “You really ought to bring him,” Bobby went on, as if she hadn’t spoken.

  Wasn’t this just like the past twenty years? She would talk and Bobby or Larry or Adam would ignore her. “Ollie needs to go out,” Cassie said. “Talk to you later.”

  She hung up, but even before she could waken Ollie and take him outside to prove she wasn’t lying, the phone was ringing again. It was Larry this time.

  “Hey, sis, you bringing Steeplejack to the family picnic?”

  “No, I’m not. I—”

  “’Cause, there’s this guy at work who wasn’t doing anything…”

  Cassie fought back the urge to scream. “Do not bring a date for me,” she said through clenched teeth. “I don’t even know if I’ll be there myself.”

  “Sure, you will. You’ve never missed a Memorial Day picnic,” Larry said with a knowing laugh.

  “Ollie’s got to go out,” Cassie said and hung up before she threw her phone across the room.

  Her family was just too much! She didn’t need their help with her social life. How was she ever going to convince them to butt out?

  She hurried Ollie out the door into the light drizzle, then stopped on the step. Two massive branches from the old oaks between her and Jack’s houses had come down in the storm, one landing in her driveway and just missing her garage by a few feet.

  Cassie walked slowly over to the fallen branches. She would have to move that one in the drive or she wouldn’t be able to get her truck out in the morning. She tugged at the branch, but it didn’t budge. She kicked at it but it didn’t move. It looked like she would need to cut it up with the chain saw. She looked at the branch, easily thirty feet long and a good ten inches in diameter at the thickest part. She was in for a long night.

  She felt unbearably weary all of a sudden; unbearably alone, although she told herself she was being silly. If she wanted help, all she had to do was call her brothers. They would be over within minutes. And this was just part of being independent, just part of being—

  “What a mess.”

  Cassie looked up to see Jack on the other side of the fence. For one split second she thought she saw something new in his eyes. Some hunger or longing or need that was somehow reflected in her own heart. But then a curtain seemed to fall over his eyes and all that she saw was the same, slightly distant Jack. It was probably all in her mind. Probably a trick of the gloom left behind by the storm.

  “Anything damaged?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “Nope. I’ll have to get this branch moved, though, or I can’t get my truck out.”

  “I can help,” he offered.

  “That’s okay.” Her mouth said the words quickly, before her heart could get involved. “I was going to call Bobby and Larry.”

  “Boy, you are stubborn,” he said. “How come you can help me but I can’t help you?”

  “You couldn’t fix your faucet. I can fix this.”

  “I could have hired someone.”

  “Well, I can get my brothers over.”

  “Hey, I ought to be helping,” he said. “It’s partly my fault that the branches are down. I talked about getting them cut but never called the tree service to set it up.”

  “I could have called, too, you know.”

  “Why don’t we argue about it while we’re cleaning it up? Let me change into something a little grubbier.”

  Before she could argue further, he turned back to his house. The girls had come outside and were standing in the middle of the yard. Dressed in bright green rain slickers with pink umbrellas, they looked like little flowers. Jack stopped to talk to them and Cassie could hear their voices on the evening breeze. She watched for a long moment, her heart feeling a strange longing at the sight of them together. Even Ollie was sitting and watching, as if there was something in that neighboring yard that would never be in theirs.

  She tried to ignore the emptiness in her heart, the sense that she was drifting without purpose, and turned toward the house.

  “Standing around getting all moony isn’t going to get this branch moved,” she told Ollie. “It’s stopped raining, so I might as well get started.”

  She got her chain saw out of the basement, along with a pair of safety goggles and a long extension cord. Beginning with the smaller side branches, she lopped them off one by one, tossing them into a pile to one side of the driveway. She had no idea what was with her this evening. It wasn’t like her to get all mopey and discouraged when some unexpected chore came along. She’d handled that broken water pipe last year just fine. And when the boiler in her last house broke in the middle of winter, she coped very well. So why was her practical nature on vacation now?

  Jack came up next to her, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. And looking all too appealing. “Want me to do that?” he asked, nodding toward the chain saw.

  She glared, angry at him for being so near, so willing for her to lean on him. “Why? Is this another thing women can’t do?” She didn’t wait for an answer, but sliced off another branch— the din of the machine made conversation impossible.

  “I just thought your arms might get tired and I could take a turn,” he said when she paused between cuts.

  “My arms are just fine, thank you.”

  She concentrated on cutting off another branch and watching it fall to the rain-wet driveway. She knew she was acting like a jerk, but she couldn’t help it. He was too damn nice, too damn good-looking, with too damn much of what she wanted from life. All she had to do was weaken a hair, just the tiniest bit, and she’d be setting herself up for pain.

  Jack didn’t keep up the argument, but just carted the branches she cut off to the pile over at the side. Unfortunately, his silence didn’t mean he was invisible. She was all too aware of him as he came near for the next branch, as he held aside the spread of leaves so she could see to make a cut.

  He made her feel small—an unusual feat since she was fairly tall. Small and able to be protected. She hadn’t felt that way in ages. But then it had been ages since she’d been willing to loosen the reins of control enough to let someone in.

  But Jack was different. He could tackle the hard times, she thought suddenly, and not be thrown by them. He wouldn’t be one who would run at the first sign of trouble.

  But what did that mean to her? Did it mean she should relax and see where her emotions took her? But what if they took her close, really close? When was the time you stopped to confess failings?

  “Watch it!”r />
  She stopped instantly, her heart in her throat. She’d almost cut through the extension cord. She hadn’t been paying close enough attention and had almost made a rookie mistake that could have been really dangerous.

  Jack carefully took the saw from her suddenly shaking hands. “Maybe we should switch for a little while.”

  His voice was so gentle, so nonjudgmental. She felt as if everything inside her were melting. All her fears, all her worries, all her well-made defenses. She felt as if she had no strength left, no energy to fight as the enemy slipped behind the walls and laid siege to her heart.

  She handed Jack her safety goggles and he just began to saw, leaving her to haul the wood in peace. The air was damp, ripe with the scent of the wet earth and spring. The storm in the sky had passed, leaving the fading light of day to stain the few remaining clouds. The storm in her heart was just starting to rage. Should she stop fighting this attraction or should she put up more barricades?

  Jack paused, laying the saw on the driveway and wiping his forehead with his arm. “Thing’s starting to get hot,” he said. “Thought I’d give it a chance to cool off.”

  “What?” The word came out more as a yelp than a simple query.

  Jack gave her a strange look. “The saw,” he said, pointing down at it. “I was afraid it was overheating.”

  “Ah.” She nodded her head wisely. “Right. Good thinking.”

  “You okay?” he asked, sitting on the wide expanse of branch.

  “Sure. I’m fine. Great.” Except that she was babbling like an idiot. “Why do you ask?”

  “You stopped arguing, for one thing.”

  “Hey, I may be stubborn but I’m not stupid. This is a lot easier with help.”

  “So you admit I was right,” he said. “A victory for the men of the world.”

  Suddenly the air around them changed. There was a headiness, an awareness of Jack that caught at Cassie’s breath. Her gaze was captured by his, and her eyes drank in a shadowy world of riches and splendor, of sparks and fires, of desires that would never be left unfed. She had such an urge to lean forward, to slip into the world that Jack’s eyes promised existed.

  Instead she looked across at Jack’s yard. A wooden play set was in back of the house, with swings and a slide and a clubhouse above a cargo net set up for climbing.

  “That’s a nice play set you’ve got for the girls,” Cassie said. “We had one of those metal swing sets when we were growing up. It got lots of use, but that looks like a lot more fun.”

  Jack’s gaze followed hers. “One of the places I lived as a kid was just down the street from a park. They had this metal climbing tower that I loved. I’d climb to the top and somehow, ten feet or so above the ground, I could dream of all the great things I was going to do.”

  “Cure cancer? Win the lottery? Be the number-one pick in the pro football draft?” Cassie guessed.

  “Beat up Billy Cooper for making fun of my dad.” Jack’s eyes were on his yard. Or maybe on his past. “Get the only A in the class on a math test so that my name would be the only one on the math stars’ list on the bulletin board. Buy my mom some real jewelry instead of the stupid flower pins we made out of the pop tops from soda cans.”

  Cassie was touched by the glimpse into his childhood. “I see,” she said softly. “Real things.”

  Jack just shrugged as if he’d said too much. “Oh, I don’t know how real they were. Maybe it shows I wasn’t into big dreams.”

  “Did you ever do them?”

  He concentrated on the chain saw, as if checking to see if it had cooled. “Naw. Billy Cooper moved away. My fourth-grade teacher wasn’t into singling out students. I did get my mom some better jewelry once I was in college, though.” He laughed. “Though she still kept wearing those stupid flower pins.”

  “I think moms really believe it’s the thought that counts,” Cassie noted.

  Jack glanced up, his gaze resting on his house for a long moment, then he looked back down at the saw. “Maybe some mothers.”

  Cassie let the silence descend. There wasn’t much to say about the twins’ mother. Nothing positive, anyway. But if Jack was still in love with her, anything Cassie said would be wrong.

  “I was wondering about the picnic,” she said instead. “The one the girls mentioned on Saturday.”

  Jack looked away for just a moment. The undercurrent she’d just felt was still present but subdued, hidden for the moment. “It’s just something the law school is putting on,” he said. “It’s going to be at Clements Woods. There’ll be boating, swimming, beach volleyball.”

  “Am I still invited?” she asked. She wasn’t sure why she was asking. She sure was fed up with her brothers, but that didn’t mean she ought to be rushing headlong into Jack’s invitation.

  Something sparked in his eyes for just a moment. “Sure,” he said. “What happened to your other picnic?”

  She shrugged with a slight smile. “It’s at my dad’s house and we have it every year. This time my brothers are driving me crazy. I think they’re preparing a highlight film of your playing days.”

  He just laughed. “And you’re willing to miss that?”

  “I’ve never been impressed with past exploits,” she said. “Just what kind of magic can you work now?”

  Her words seemed to surprise him as much as herself. Where had they come from?

  But Jack seemed to recover faster than she did. “If you’re talking about football, I’m afraid I’m pretty much out of magic.”

  “What a shame.” Her voice sounded strained and unlike herself. But maybe he wouldn’t notice. Maybe she needed to keep her heart from noticing things about him. She looked around at the shadows in the yard that were rapidly swallowing up the last few patches of sunlight. “It’s starting to get dark,” she said. “Think we can finish this before nightfall?”

  “Sure.” He got to his feet and picked up the saw. “Just a couple more cuts. The pieces will be big, but we should be able to manage them together.”

  Together. Just what her foolish heart was crying for and what her past experiences were shouting for her to avoid. But how could she not carry the logs with him? What was her alternative? She had to get her truck out in the morning.

  By the time she’d carried the rest of the little branches over, Jack had the main part of the limb cut into pieces and was waiting to carry them.

  “The kids’ll be glad to hear you’re coming to the picnic with us,” Jack said as they lifted the first one.

  “You want me to bring anything?” she asked.

  “Heck, no,” he replied. “The law school is springing for the whole thing. The food’s going to be catered.”

  “Okay.” They tossed the log to the side and went back for another one. “You have much storm damage at your place?”

  “Just little stuff down in the yard.”

  They got another log and carried it over to the pile. The silence seemed to grow as heavy as the log.

  “I really appreciate your help,” she said as they went back for another. “I guess we’re even now.”

  “Oh, really?” he said. He was closer to her than she had expected and his voice tickled the side of her neck. “As I remember, I owed you three and this is just one. One that I’m not even sure should count since these very well could be my trees.”

  His tone started something smoldering deep in her heart, something that sent little flickers of warning all through her. She wanted to play a teasing game, to flirt and laugh and give him knowing looks. But suddenly all she felt was that emptiness deep inside her; that bit of her womanliness that failed. If she gave in to the teasing, played that little game, one day she would have to confess the truth. One day she would have to admit to being a failure as a woman. Maybe he wouldn’t care. But maybe he would. It was too great a risk to take.

  “So, what do you think?” Jack asked. “What do you say we all go swimming?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Cassie said, although she knew Jack was
talking more to the twins. They’d been at the picnic for an hour or more now and from the comments made, she knew the girls were not enthusiastic about swimming.

  “Uh-uh,” Mary Louise said.

  “We don’t wanna,” Mary Alice added.

  Jack was fighting to keep an aren’t-we-having-fun smile on his face around all the other law-school families, but Cassie saw something desperate and confused in his eyes. He looked like Ollie did when the big dog was at Fiona’s apartment, being played with by her sister’s cats. Apparently, old Steeplejack didn’t run over every obstacle that he encountered.

  Cassie’s heart softened at Jack’s vulnerability and she felt her newly repaired defenses slip slightly. Big and strong as he was, he looked lost. She wanted to take care of him, promise him everything would be all right. Which was absolutely crazy. He had fame and fortune and good looks. He didn’t need anything from her.

  “We’ll just go in a little,” he told the girls. “Just enough to get your feet wet.”

  As if hearing the same cue, both started crying and ran to the back of the beach. The twins appeared to be terrified of the water.

  “I don’t think you should force it,” Cassie told him softly. “I used to teach swimming at the YMCA and it never works to force kids into the water.”

  He sighed and then nodded as he walked over to where the girls were. They had him on the ropes and the look he gave Cassie pleaded for help. It caused a strange and heady sensation in the region of her heart, his looking at her like they were part of a team. She told herself she was foolish, but she liked the feeling nonetheless.

  “Ollie likes to swim,” she told the girls as she sat down next to them. “He was scared when he first tried, but now he has lots of fun in the water.”

  “Did you teach him to swim?”

  “Kind of.”

  Mary Alice looked up at her father. “Can Cassie teach us to swim, Daddy?”

  “Yeah, Daddy,” Mary Louise echoed. “Can she?”

  Cassie just laughed at the trapped look on Jack’s face and found herself rescuing him once again. “I think it’s almost time for the nature walk,” she said.