“A lot of people here do that kind of thing,” she said. “It’s different in a small town than in the big city.”
“No. You’re different,” he said. “You’re more willing to help people out.”
She laughed, trying to ease the sudden steaminess in the air. “Help them out the door, Sam would say.”
“You’re not as tough as you pretend to be.”
She frowned at her food, wondering how this conversation had gotten so serious. And how to turn it aside before she started baring her soul.
“You want to see ‘tough’? You should try giving Ollie, here, a bath. You’d think he was Samson and I was Delilah washing off his hair.”
Jack’s eyes turned teasing. “Maybe he’s embarrassed that his mommy’s still giving him a bath.”
“Or else it’s a guy thing,” she said. “And he doesn’t like me seeing him in the bathtub.”
“Do you hurry him through so he doesn’t have time to play with his toys? Maybe he wants time to play with his boats or little duckies.”
Cassie laughed. “When we were real little, Fiona and I had to take baths together and she used to drive me nuts. I always wanted to play and splash and put all sorts of soap in our hair to make it stand up straight. She always insisted that we wash first. Like there was somebody going to come and check.”
“You and Fiona seem very different,” he said.
Cassie nodded and felt her smile slip slightly. “I really made her life miserable after our parents died. I was always getting into fights and she was trying doubly hard to be good so we wouldn’t get thrown out of another foster home.”
“Sounds like you each dealt with your grief differently.”
Cassie just shrugged. Why did their conversations always turn so serious? Why did she keep getting the urge to confide in him?
“Maybe it overemphasized our most dominant traits,” she said. “I was always looking for a fight and Fiona was always afraid to break the rules.”
“Her fiancé doesn’t seem to be a ‘rules’ person.”
“Alex? No, not at all. He’s exactly what she needs. Someone who focuses on the end, not the means.”
Jack had finished eating and pushed his plate to one side as he picked up his wineglass. His eyes were on Cassie. “And what are you looking for in a man?” he asked. “Someone to fight against or someone to fight alongside?”
Cassie clutched at her own wine, finding the question a little bothersome. In the deepest, darkest part of the night, she longed not to fight at all, but to have someone she could lean on and trust. Someone who would always be there for her. Always.
“I’m not looking for a man,” she said lightly. “I like to go out and have fun sometimes, but I sure don’t want another long-term commitment.”
“Afraid he won’t be there in the long run?”
She almost jumped, wondering if he could somehow read into her soul. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I don’t want to promise ‘forever’ myself.”
He nodded and stared into his glass. “That’s being honest. I wish Daphne had admitted she felt that way. Maybe if I had known up front…”
“What?” she probed. “Would you rather have not had the relationship? Then you wouldn’t have the twins.”
“I guess.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I just wish I had known. I hate surprises. For years I felt we were a matched pair, and then I found out she had all sorts of different goals. I just want honesty.”
“Is that so hard to find?”
“Impossible.”
“Maybe you haven’t asked the right questions,” she said. “Or watched for the right clues. Or else you always gravitate toward the wrong type.”
He looked slightly annoyed. “Maybe I just don’t like the idea of loving someone who doesn’t love me back just as much.”
“How can you measure love?” she scoffed. “You got a love scale or do you give a woman a test before you fall in love?”
“I don’t need a scale to know when a relationship is one-sided.”
“All relationships are one-sided,” she said. “At any given time in any relationship, one person needs more than the other. If you love enough, you give what the other needs. Even if it’s freedom so they can go after their dream.” Or find someone else and have a family.
Jack just stared at her. “So you’re saying I didn’t really love Daphne because I felt betrayed when she left?” he asked slowly.
“No, I’m saying she might have loved you just as much but knew she couldn’t make you happy in the long run.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard,” he snapped. “If she loved me so much, why was she talking only about her acting career?”
What was he getting annoyed with her for? She was just expressing her opinion. “What’s Daphne supposed to say—‘I love you, but I can’t make you happy if I’m not happy’?”
“So my love wasn’t enough.” He was growing distant, pulling away from her.
Cassie had never been one to cajole people into better moods. “No one’s love is ever enough,” she returned sharply. “Maybe if we all lived in a vacuum, it would be. But we’re all a product of everything and everybody that we’ve come in contact with. Maybe Daphne never felt loved when she was growing up and needed the acclaim of lots of people. Maybe you were always so busy seeing an insult in everything people said that you never stopped to consider the idea that someone could find your love was enough.”
He turned from her and she thought she’d gone too far, but after a moment, his gaze met hers again. His eyes were troubled, like the sea as a storm waned, but his lips were trying for a smile.
“Hey, how’d we get so serious?” He reached over for the wine bottle and refilled their glasses, then took her hands in his. “What should we do after we clean up the dishes? Want to rent a movie? Take a walk? Or did you have plans?”
Cassie didn’t know what to say. She had no other plans for the evening, unless she counted combing Ollie’s hair once it was almost dry. But the real questions was, did she want to start a relationship with Jack? Her family certainly would love it if she did, but that was no reason to send him packing. Not enjoying his company because everyone wanted her to was no smarter than seeing him because no one wanted her to. In either case, she would be allowing others to run her life. And it was time she took it in her own hands.
Her gaze fell on his hands—scarred from the years he’d spent playing football—that covered her own. Control was still in her hands, even if her hands were in someone else’s. Just like she could enjoy her own happiness even if it made someone else happy.
“Fifty dollars for your thoughts.”
Startled, she looked up into his face. His eyes were near to black. Cassie could feel her pleasant warmth turn to raging heat. Her eyes darted around.
“Let’s rent a movie,” she said. “Then you can help me comb Ollie. It’s a two-person job.”
Jack put the newspaper down and listened. Sure enough, that was Cassie’s truck. He got to his feet and hurried to the door. The twins were tumbling out of the pickup and racing across the lawn by the time he got the front door open. Cassie followed them more slowly, the girls’ sandals in her hand and a smile on her face that lit up all the shadowy recesses of his heart.
“How was swimming?” Jack asked.
“Wet,” the girls answered, then dissolved into giggles as they ran past him.
He let his eyes linger on Cassie as she came to the door. “How’s it going?” he asked.
“Their lessons? Just fine. We’re making progress.” She handed him the girls’ sandals.
He wasn’t sure that was all he had been asking about, but let it go. He tossed the sandals onto the floor just inside the door. “Aunt Hattie made a strawberry-rhubarb pie. Want a piece?”
“I probably shouldn’t,” she replied and glanced back at her truck as if afraid it might wander off without her. “I need to water my garden.”
“It’s goi
ng to rain tonight.”
She frowned up at him. “I thought they weren’t predicting rain until next week.”
“Who, the weathermen? What do they know?”
She just laughed at him and started back toward her truck. He didn’t want her to go, not just yet, and followed her. She got in, but didn’t start the engine. He leaned on the edge of the open window. She was close enough to touch, to let his fingers play with the softness of her curls. He just kept his hands still.
She had been in his thoughts constantly over the past few days. Along with her words. Much as it pained him to admit it, she’d been right about a lot of things. Her analysis of him had been right on. What would be her reading of herself? he wondered.
“I had a good time Saturday,” he told her.
“Yeah, it was nice.”
“I thought maybe we could do it again. It was nice to have someone to talk to.” Maybe he wanted more of her wisdom, or more of her straight honesty.
She sighed and looked down at the steering wheel. “Yeah, it was.”
“Want to go to Pizza Playland with me and the girls on Friday?”
“I have softball.”
“Want some rowdy fans?”
“Sure, why not?” Her smile was like a spring breeze bringing warmth and joy. “Boehm Park. Six-thirty.”
The girls came running out of the house, half racing and half skipping over to the truck. Their hair was still damp from swimming, and their faces flushed with laughter.
“How come you’re still here?” Mary Louise asked, jumping so she could put her arms though the open window and hold herself up.
Mary Alice joined her. “Do ya want some pie? It’s real yummy.”
“I already offered her some,” Jack told them. “And she said she had to go home.”
“How come?”
“Is your doggy lonesome?”
“We could play with him if he wants.”
Cassie just laughed. “How about after my softball game on Friday? We can go over to my house for dinner.”
“We’re going to your softball game?”
“Are we, Daddy?”
“Sure,” he said. “I thought we could go cheer her on.”
Mary Louise frowned and looked at Mary Alice. “We’re gonna be cheerleaders.”
“We don’t got no cheerleader clothes.”
“We don’t got pom-poms.”
Jack just groaned and put his head down on his arms as Cassie laughed. “Good thing you have a couple of days to get ready,” she told the girls.
“Yeah.” They climbed down from the truck and raced away.
Jack lifted his head up. “Where do they get this from?” he asked. “It can’t be Daphne. She was hardly around for them, yet sometimes they seem so like her it’s scary.”
“They’re like lots of little girls,” Cassie assured him. “Stop seeing problems everywhere and learn to laugh.”
He just looked at her—at her dark brown eyes that held so much calm and wisdom. He needed to see more of her, to listen to more of her common sense. But she was leaving.
She started her engine. “See you Friday.”
He stepped back. “Right. Boehm at six-thirty.”
“With pom-poms or without,” she called out as she backed from the drive.
He just waved and watched as she drove down to her house. His heart was telling him something, but not in a language he could understand.
“Go, Cassie!” a little voice called out.
“Go, go, go!” another one sang out.
“You got your own cheering section?” the catcher asked Cassie as she stepped up to the plate.
Cassie waved at the girls in their matching red shorts and white shirts—and red pom-poms—before she took her place. Okay, she waved to Jack, too. It wasn’t like she was ignoring him. “Yep, my fan club sends members to all my games.”
“Oh, yeah.” The other woman glanced over toward the twins in the bleachers on the first-base side. “That stud can belong to my fan club anytime.”
Cassie just looked out at the pitcher. “I think your husband would object to that, Stacy.”
“Hey, I didn’t say I was going to do anything with Mr. Hellof-a-Hunk. Just let him in my club.”
“I see.” The first pitch came hard and outside. Cassie let it go by.
“Ball one!”
“Unless you got dibs on him.” Stacy threw the ball back.
“We’re just friends.”
“Girl, you don’t have hunks like him for a friend.”
“I do.” The next pitch was high but Cassie swung anyway.
“Strike one.”
That was stupid of her. She should have known better. It was the last inning, and her team was down by six. They needed her concentration if they were going to win.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody at these games for you,” Stacy said.
“I’ve had fans here before.” Of course, it had been Fiona or Sam or Bobby and his kids. The next pitch was low and inside, just where she liked it. She swung hard and connected with a satisfying thud. The ball flew into the outfield as she sprinted for first. She made it with room to spare, but her team was yelling for her to stay put, so she did.
“Wow, that was awesome!”
“It musta gone a mile.”
Cassie turned slightly and grinned at the twins. They had come down from the bleachers and were peering through the fence at her. “Hi.”
“Daddy said that was almost a home run,” Mary Alice said.
“He said you must be really strong,” Mary Louise added.
Yeah, but did he consider that an asset? Cassie glanced back up at the bleachers where Jack was sitting. He waved at her, then gave her a thumbs-up sign. Maybe it was good. She waved back.
“Cute kids,” the first baseman said to her. “They yours?”
He must have been new to his team this year because Cassie knew most of the members on the other teams. They’d been playing against each other for years. It was a natural question, yet it stung for some reason.
“No,” she said, concentrating on Marv up at the plate. “They’re the kids of a neighbor.”
“Oh.”
Come on, Marv. Get a hit.
He got a strike.
“The guy with the beard? He looks familiar. He work at Bendix?”
“No, teaches at the law school.”
“He ever play ball for the university?”
“No.” Marv got another strike.
“He sure does look familiar.”
Marv swung again and this time connected. It looked like the shortstop might get it, but Cassie ran anyway. She slid into second and was deemed safe. Safe, in truth. She was farther from Jack and the girls, and could concentrate on the game.
As it turned out, there wasn’t much to concentrate on. The next two batters struck out. And, since the other team was the home team, there was no need to play the last half of the inning. The game was over; Cassie’s team had lost. Amid some halfhearted cheering, the players walked back to the dugouts together, more intent on planning their postgame partying than on anything else.
The twins rushed at her. “I like softball,” Mary Louise said.
“Will you teach us how to play this, too?” Mary Alice asked.
Jack was close enough to hear that and laughed. “Hey, now, girls. Cassie can’t teach you everything.”
“But she’s so good at it!” Mary Louise whined.
“We like her,” Mary Alice added.
Jack was at her side. “Nice game,” he said.
“Thanks.” She smiled inside and smiled even more when he slipped an arm around her shoulders.
“You coming to Coaches?” someone called over to her.
Cassie shook her head. “Nope. I can’t make it tonight.”
Amid a spate of hooting, Cassie walked over to the parking lot. Somewhere in the walking, Jack’s arm left her shoulder and she felt lonely all of a sudden. What she should be feeling was re
lieved, she told herself. She didn’t need a man’s arm around her to walk to the parking lot safely.
“I was really glad you all could come,” she told Jack and the girls. “I was the only one there with my own cheerleaders.”
“These ain’t real cheerleader outfits.”
“We couldn’t find ones nowhere.”
“Aunt Hattie said these shorts would be just fine.”
“Daddy said we didn’t need pom-poms.”
“But he helped us make these.”
“See? They’re made out of paper.”
Cassie looked up from her inspection of the tissue-paper pom-poms. Jack just shrugged when his eyes finally met hers. He was embarrassed about it!
“It was no big deal,” he said.
“It was very nice of you.” She slipped her arm through his. “And resourceful. How’d you know how to make them?”
“We studied every aspect of the game of football in college,” he said and stopped at her truck. “We’ll meet you back at your house?”
“I want to ride with Cassie,” Mary Louise cried.
“Me, too,” Mary Alice added.
Jack frowned at them. “You always get to ride with her,” he said in a whiny voice. “It’s my turn. You two drive the minivan this time.”
The girls just giggled and climbed up into Cassie’s truck. Cassie just shrugged at Jack. “See you there,” she said and climbed in herself.
“Cheaters,” Jack muttered and leaned in through the open window to plant a quick kiss on Cassie’s lips.
She felt a rush of heat, a desire to pull him back for a longer, more lingering kiss. His eyes met hers and shared her longing, shared her hungers and needs and worries. But then a group from a passing car called out goodbyes to Cassie and the spell was broken. She turned to wave but when she looked back, Jack was already heading to his minivan.
“Are you gonna be our mommy?” Mary Louise asked.
“No, of course not,” Cassie said quickly and started out of the parking lot. “Why would you ask that?”
“You kissed Daddy,” Mary Alice replied.
A Father's Gift Page 12
