Never Sleep

by Cady Vance

  “I’m Aiden.” The girl smiles at him before turning to me. I can’t help but notice the smile isn’t nearly as bright when it’s aimed in my direction.

  “Thora.”

  “Oh. Oh. I like that.” She nods, scanning me from head to toe as if she’s just now considering my existence. “It’s kind of gothic.”

  “It’s from Norse mythology.” Heart twinge.

  “You guys have cool names,” Gemma says, twirling a leaf through fingernails painted in a random mixture of red and black and yellow.

  Odin laughs where he lays on his back at her side. He’s sprawled out on the grass, fingers laced behind his head, face beaming up at a sun that is beaming right back. None of us are supposed to be out here, lying in the sun like this and basking in its glow, but we don’t care. Today is No Rules Day, where we breathe in all the things we shouldn’t. Hiking. Chocolate. Coffee. Cigarettes. And the sun.

  The sun is the best part of it all.

  “Mom’s a professor. She teaches Greek, Norse and Roman Mythology.”

  Gemma pokes the leaf into her wild mass of blond. The flash of nature doesn’t match her black tights and snug black and gray striped tank, but she still manages to pull it off somehow.

  “They still on about this Stage Four Clinic nonsense, Oh Thora the Norse Goddess of us all?”

  “They’re not going to send her to the Clinic,” Odin says, like that settles everything.

  “I’m not far from reaching Stage Four.” I close my eyes and tilt up my face, but even the sun can’t warm the chill creeping in at the mention of living in the Clinic.

  “Don’t worry, I won’t let them. And if they won’t listen, I’ll go with you.”

  “Hell, let’s make it a party. We’ll all go,” Gemma says.

  “Yeah,” Odin says. “We can have movie night every night, though we’ll need to find someone on the outside who can sneak us some pizza.”

  I laugh. Odin always knows how to make me laugh.

  New York City, and its bright, bright lights, blinks back in front of me. Thoughts of Gemma and Odin flutter away, leaving an aching hole in my chest.

  “You can call me Florence.” The earbud goes back in, her back turns toward us, and the hectic pace resumes. I have no idea how she has the energy to walk that fast, and I wish she wouldn’t. My own feet can barely keep up. I want to say something to Aiden about this bizarre new addition to our team, and I doubt she could hear with the music blasting her eardrums, but something about this girl takes the words in my throat and clutches them there.

  “I don’t know if I trust her,” Aiden whispers to me, so low it’s hard to hear him over the bus that rumbles by so loudly, I feel it vibrating my entire body.

  “Yeah, I’m right there with you.” I don’t want to say the next thought out loud, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s telling us the truth about Magnolia or if, by some bizarre twist, she’s leading us to the Sleepers.

  “I’d feel better if we could look at the clue ourselves,” he whispers to me, and I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength.

  I take a long, smog-filled breath into my lungs. “Okay, I’ll try to get it. Just let me wait for the right moment.”

  He leans in even closer, his lips tickling my ear. “She might be legit. I just feel kind of on edge after…your brother got taken.”

  I grit my teeth and nod, trying not to notice how carefully he spoke his words, like he knows I lied. His fingers close around my arm as we rush across the street between zooming taxis, even though the crosswalk blares a bright red hand at us. Florence doesn’t even cast a single glance behind her, too wrapped up in her own little world.

  Once we reach the safety of the sidewalk, Aiden lets go of my arm. “I’m trying hard to pretend there’s not more to the story here.” He raises his eyebrows. “He just got taken, right? I’m imagining things? Reading your face wrong?”

  I feel my cheeks heat at the thought he already knows me well enough that he can read the thoughts on my face. My parents have always said I’m an open book, that my every thought and emotion flits across my features. But that’s my family, not a boy I met two hours ago. He’s figured me out fast, and I feel a strange combination of warmth and unease by it. Especially since the last thing I want is to talk about my dead brother.

  “Oh god.” He slows and run fingers through his light hair, making it spike up in random spots. “What else happened? I’m out here, like you, trying to avoid these people. Don’t you think I have a right to know?”

  I pause in my footsteps when I realize Florence has stopped and turned to face us, face screwed up in interest. “What is it you have a right to know?”

  Shit. Aiden and I exchange looks. I’m not even ready to tell Aiden about my brother, much less someone I’m not sure I trust to even lead us to the next clue.

  “Hmm, I detect some hesitation in my new friends. You don’t trust me.”

  I grit my teeth and brace myself for her reaction as I say, “The thing is, we’ve already kind of had a rough night…” I decide not to elaborate quite yet. If I can get the receipt from her and verify the clue, then I’ll tell her everything. As long as Aiden can keep his mouth shut that long.

  “Alright.” She crosses her arms as people stream by us on the sidewalk, occasionally jostling my elbow. “If the fact that our eyes are the exact same color and the fact that I know I have massive purple bags under mine isn’t enough for you, what can I do to convince you?”

  Surprised, I decide to go for it. “Let us see the clue.”

  Florence chuckles and then nods, smile almost blinding me it’s so bright. She digs the receipt out of her pocket and hands it over. “I think you’ll be pleased by the outcome of this little test.”

  I hold the tiny scrap of paper into the bright light of a Chinese takeout restaurant sign, seeing the small lettering under the Midtown Comics address just like she said.

  “Downtown 1 train you take

  And find a blood-red cupcake.”

  I look up to see a satisfied smirk on Florence’s face.

  “How’d you know it was Magnolia?” I ask.

  “I live in Brooklyn, and I’ve been to Magnolia about a gazillion times. It’s the place to go for cupcakes because they will rock your world. Plus, the One train is right by there. Easy. Hell of a lot easier than figuring out where the fuck Spiderman would be.”

  “She’s right about Magnolia, Thora. It’s the cupcake capitol.”

  There’s not much to say to that. The proof adds up. There’s no reason not to trust her, and I feel the tension knots in my shoulders unwind, at least a little.

  “Your turn.” Her smirk fades. “Why are you guys freaking out?”

  I look around at the people striding by on the sidewalks, at the cars and taxis inching along a crowded Seventh Avenue. At the shops and restaurants, at all the people crowding around. Not exactly the best place to have a private conversation.

  Florence raises her eyebrows and steps in. Aiden and I close the space between the three of us even more until we’re standing in a tight circle. I’m sure our sudden football huddle is an odd sight on a busy Midtown sidewalk, but right now, I don’t really care what anyone thinks. There are stranger things to be found in this city.

  “Okay, now you guys are starting to freak me out.”

  Aiden lowers his voice. “Have you heard of the Sleepers who work for the Clinic?”

  She starts to take a step back, but makes an “O” shape with her lips instead. “Yeah, I’ve heard of them.”

  I lean even closer until our foreheads are almost touching. “Well, they set up some sort of fake flier that led me to the wrong place at the very beginning of the hunt. And…”

  Aiden flicks his gaze at me, and I’m grateful when he says what I cannot. “Thora came here with her brother. When the Sleepers showed up at the bookstore, they managed to grab him and take him to the Clinic. And he probably wasn’t the only one they caught.”

  I just hope Gemma wasn’t o
ne of them. The worry in the back of my head is growing with each passing minute I go without seeing her. My only comfort is that this is a big city, and she really could be anywhere.

  Florence’s eyes widen to dinner plates. For the first time, I see genuine emotion on her face, her cool, odd exterior flickering like a dying flame before it comes bursting back in a full roar.

  “You guys are fucking with me.” She laughs, but I can tell she doesn’t believe what she’s said.

  “Now you see why we weren’t so quick to trust whatever you said?” I ask.

  “Oh yeah. I get it.” She takes a step back, breaking our circle. “So, then what were you guys talking about? What does Aiden deserve to know?”

  “Nothing.” My voice is hard, and I leave no room for argument.

  “Hmm,” Florence says.

  “Thora, I wish you’d tell us.” Aiden’s clear eyes plead with me for details, but I turn my back on him, and I’m beginning to realize part of why I’m too scared to tell. If he knows how dangerous these people are, he may decide it’s not worth it and leave me here to battle this out alone.

  “If wishes were horses.” Florence twirls in a circle, like some sort of dance routine.

  “What?” I blink.

  “Nothing. Come along, then. We have some cupcakes to eat.”

  ***

  Fifteen minutes later, we’re back downtown after a long, silent subway ride in which Florence bopped her head to her music, Aiden closed his eyes as if he were pretending to sleep, and I sat with haunted thoughts, though the sleep terrors left me in peace at least for now. Mostly, I wondered if I’ll make it through this night still in one piece.

  “You guys are moody,” Florence says as we begin the five-block walk from the subway station to the bakery. “Come on, Aiden, tell me a funny.” She tucks her hand into his arm and drags him up ahead while I take one plodding step after another, falling behind them, too distracted by my thoughts.

  The city onslaught is much more muted in this part of town. There are fewer people on the streets, fewer cars jamming the roads, and the short red-brick buildings make the area feel more cozy neighborhood than pulsating city. And even though I feel as if I will fall over the edge of a very high cliff at any moment, I cannot help but notice how alive the city is, even now after night has fallen.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see a blur of motion. Something yanks hard on my arm, and I find myself being pulled behind a newsstand before I can even react. My heart throbs painfully inside me. I whip my head around, hands curled into fists.

  Black fluffy hair. Brilliant blue eyes.

  Lucas.

  Thirteen

  High metabolism is a common side effect of late-stage insomnia.

  - The Chronic Insomnia Handbook for Patients

  Are you crazy?” I snap, balling my fists at my sides. “You gave me a heart attack.”

  His blue eyes look sad under the wrought-iron streetlamps, raking over me and lingering a little longer than necessary. His silence makes me prop my fists on my hips in offensive stance even though a bonfire ignites in my chest, blazing all the way down to my toes.

  “No need to have a cob on. I’m trying to help you, remember?”

  I block out the images from the bookstore and lean back on my heels to peer around the newsstand. Florence and Aiden are only bobbing silhouettes now, too caught up in each other to realize I’ve disappeared. I turn back to Lucas. “How did you get away from them? Did they…Odin…”

  “I don’t know,” he says softly. “I didn’t want to stick around.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re okay.”

  “Are you okay?”

  Sadness weighs on my shoulders so much, my breath ekes out in short bursts. “No. I’m not.” I blink my eyes to hold back the tears. “I’m not sure I will be, Lucas.”

  “I know.” He gives me a sad smile before reaching into a clear plastic bag dangling by his side. He pulls out a multicolored object and tosses it to me. “Here, have a yoyo.”

  I catch it before it scratches my shoulder; the hard plastic feels rough against my fingers. “Thanks?” I roll it between my palms, the curved edges carving into my pale skin. The dark red and green spiraling around each other reminds me of Christmas. “What’s this for?”

  “It’s a yoyo. It’s meant to be played with.” It’s the first time I’ve seen him smile, and I know it’s not an image I’ll soon forget.

  “What’s your surname?” he asks, and I cock my head at the randomness of it.

  “Green.”

  His smile widens. “I like that. Thora Green. It suits you.”

  “What’s yours?”

  “Ashdown,” he says.

  Lucas suddenly stiffens before taking a wide, long gaze across the streets, the sidewalks, the pedestrians. I capture my breath in my throat. The way his intense stare sizes up our surroundings, I’m sure something important is about to happen. And I’m not sure it’s something good.

  His eyes turn to me. They swish back and forth as if he’s searching my face, and I feel an unexplainable tug toward him, like there’s some strange magnetic force between us. An ocean rushes into my ears. It’s almost as if I can feel electricity sparking off his skin and onto mine, even though that makes absolutely no sense at all.

  “I thought maybe it would cheer you up. The yoyo, I mean,” he says. “Though I know it’s not as easy as that. It’s rather lame, isn’t it?”

  “No.” I tighten my hold on the yoyo. “I don’t think it’s lame.”

  “You already have your trinket, though.” He points to the king piece, right now only a lump under my gray tee. “You’re a bit attached to it, aren’t you? The way insomniacs can get?”

  “How do you know all this?” I ask, taking a step closer to him, staring right into his brilliant blue eyes. I want to know everything I can about this strange boy, but instead of responding, he takes a step away from me.

  “I should go,” he says.

  “Wait, aren’t you going to tell me something? Anything about my condition, what’s happened tonight or why we even have to follow clues in the first place?”

  “They take you to the Cafe.” He sighs. “I can’t tell you anything else right now, I’m sorry. Soon though. I promise.”

  I want to argue with him, make him stay and tell me things, especially since he’s the only one who knows exactly what happened in that bookstore. Instead, I nod and say, “Fine, but don’t forget you promised. And thanks for trying to make me feel better.”

  That grin of his stretches across his face, and his hand rises from his side as if he’s going to reach out to me. Instinctively, I step away. He stiffens, and his hand falls to his side like a yoyo dropping to the ground. “Whatever happens next, go along with it. I’ll see you again soon then.”

  And then he takes two slow steps back, turns and trots away. I blink once, and he’s gone into the night, leaving me alone in a cloud of chilly air. All I can do is stand here in the middle of the sidewalk staring after him.

  I jump from a movement in the edge of my vision. Florence and Aiden materialize by my side, worry pulling down their faces.

  “What was that all about?” Florence asks. “Who was that? I was starting to freak out.”

  Shadows cloud Aiden’s face. His lips morph into a frown; his eyebrows furrow. And I feel another rushing heat inside me, different than the one I felt with Lucas. This one is more like guilt than whatever the other one was.

  “He was at The Strand. He was there when Odin and I got cornered.”

  Florence’s eyes go round. “My, my. What an interesting little development. You,” she says, stabbing a finger at my chest, “acting all high and mighty and not trusting me when you’re the one galavanting around with some mysterious boy.” A wicked grin splits her lips. “Who is he?”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath, a familiar weariness settling over my bones. I cannot keep this to myself anymore. I have to come clean, no matter what their reaction may be.
No matter if they leave me alone here in the city. I kick an ashy pebble and watch it tumble into the street before being crushed by the wheel of a sports car blasting hip-hop from rolled-down windows.

  “His name is Lucas. He was pretending…to be one of them, one of the Sleepers working for the Clinic.” I clear my throat and tears bubble into my eyes. “The thing is, my brother fought back when the Sleepers found us. Things got violent. And one of them shot him with some sort of taser. And he…He…he died.” The last word whispers out onto the air, and I hope it hides under the sounds of cars and barking dogs, but it doesn’t because I can see the reaction on their faces. They heard every word.

  Florence’s mask is gone, and her lips barely move. “And the plot thickens even more.” But she’s not joking now. Her face is ghostly white, even more white against the bright red of her lips. She sweeps her eyes across the street as if she’s going to catch people sneaking in the shadows. People tracking our every move and reporting their findings through two-way radios before shoving their tasers at our hearts.

  “I knew there was something you weren’t telling me. I just didn’t think it was this.” Aiden’s voice is angry, and I cringe. When I meet his eyes, I can see he’s not angry at me for hiding this from him. He’s angry at them.

  “I’m sorry.” I brush a stray tear from my cheek. “I’m trying so hard to do this thing, and if I think too hard about Odin, I’m not sure I can.”

  “Wait a minute,” Aiden says. “This guy said he was pretending to be one of them, and now he’s shown up here? How do you know he really isn’t one?” He tenses and flicks his gaze around us.

  “He helped me get away,” I whisper. “If he was one of them, he would have let them take me to the Clinic.”

  “And what about your brother? Did that guy try to stop that from happening?” Aiden’s words hurt my heart. The longer he makes me talk about this, the more pain radiates throughout my chest.

  “There’s not much he could do,” I say.