Never Sleep

by Cady Vance

  “What did he mean by recovery?” I ask. “Did they give you a treatment, too?”

  She cocks her head at me. “You got a treatment?”

  “Yeah, I Collapsed.” I stare down at my bare feet, at where my purple nail polish has chipped around the edges.

  “Well, I didn’t.” Her voice is as full of steel as a city skyscraper. “I’m recovering from this thing they did to me earlier. They put me in a room, took my iPod away and started playing these really loud, horrible noises. Flashed bright lights at me. To ‘induce’ Pavor Nocturnus during the day, they said. And recorded my brain activity during it.” Her gray eyes flash with anger. “It was fucking awful.”

  “So, it was true?” I whisper. “What Lucas said was true.”

  She cocks her head. “‘Course it was. You sound surprised.”

  “I just…” I trail off, veins in my head throbbing as I think about what this means. The doctor was lying about the experiments. So, he could be lying about Odin, too. And the thought of him really being dead after all feels like he’s dying in front of me all over again.

  Florence pushes her bed tray aside and extracts herself from the bed. “This place is the devil. We always knew that.”

  A moment later, we crack open the door to peer into the hallway. I almost scream when a figure comes flying inside, breathless. Brown shaggy bangs and wild eyes. It’s Lottie, the girl from earlier. She slams the door shut behind her, and I take two steps back from her accusing glare.

  “Look, I’m sorry I was looking at your folder.” I hold my hands up in surrender.

  She cocks her head. “What?” Then, she laughs. “Oh, seriously, who cares? That’s not why I followed you.”

  “Ohh-kay,” I say. “Then why?”

  “Who the fuck is this?” Florence, always the diplomat.

  “My name is Lottie,” the girl says, crossing her arms over her chest. I doubt it looks as intimidating as she’d like in that thin hospital gown. “And you guys are trying to break out of here.”

  “Yeah, being trapped in a Clinic full of insane scientists wasn’t really on my to-do list for today,” Florence snaps back.

  Lottie glances over her shoulder at the door and lowers her voice. “Yeah, and what’s your plan?”

  Florence looks to me like I have all the answers. They both stand there, waiting, and I don’t understand how I’ve gotten in charge of this rescue and escape mission when I’m the one most likely to screw it up.

  “Find our friends and crawl out a window or something,” I finally say. “I’ve done it before at another Clinic. Easy.” Not the most detailed plan, but it’s all I have. It’s a place to start, and that’s better than ground zero.

  I flinch when Lottie responds with a laugh. “Yeah, good luck with that.”

  “What does that mean?” Florence asks, narrowing her eyes.

  “I’ll start with the most obvious problem I see with your plan. This is what they call a ‘high-security Clinic’ which you must not have been in before. All the windows are barred in this place to keep us from doing exactly what you’re trying to do.”

  “Wow.” I knew it was different here, but I had no idea. “We’ll have to find a way out a door then.”

  Lottie shakes her head. “You can try, but you’ll have to get past the video cameras. And some doors are equipped with alarms.”

  “Shit.” I fold onto the armchair and pull my knees up to my chest. This is going to be way harder than I thought.

  “One more problem with your plan,” the girl continues. “Your friends. Did you find them on this floor?”

  I look up, heart sinking even further. I already had a bad feeling about finding only Florence in this hall, and now my hunch is confirmed. “There’s one room I haven’t checked, but I guess they all can’t be on this floor…”

  The girl’s lips morph into a hard line. “Alright, listen. I’ve been here a month, and I’ve figured some things out.”

  “A month?” My mouth falls open. “They’re actually making you stay in this place? Wearing that thing?”

  “Shh.” The girl frowns at the door, body tense and still. I bite my lip, realizing how loud I let my voice get.

  “Sorry,” I say in a whisper. “What have they been doing to you? Experiments?”

  “My parents sent me here hoping to ‘cure’ me. They’ve been doing tests on me. It sucks total ass, even though it’s supposed to help them figure out how to make me sleep.” She furrows her eyebrows at me. “It feels like they’re only making it worse.”

  “What else have you figured out?” Florence interrupts. “Sorry, Thora, I know you want to stop this experiment shit, and I do, too, but I’m freaking out about Aiden.”

  “Aiden?” Lottie asks slowly like she’s heard that name before. I gasp and clench my hands together in hope he’s okay. The doctor said he was, but I’m starting to trust that guy’s words less and less as the moments pass.

  “Yeah.” Florence’s face lights up. “You know who I’m talking about? Do you know where he is?”

  “He’s one of your friends you’re looking for?” Lottie asks in a strange voice, and I notice her face is suspiciously blank. I clench my hands tighter together.

  “We were all together tonight, looking for the Insomniac Cafe,” I say. “He got caught by some guys who work for the Clinic. Or at least that’s what we thought…” I trail off, now worried Aiden put up some sort of fight, that they stopped his heart, that what I saw was real, that the doctor lied about Odin and that he lied about Aiden, too.

  “Okay.” She backs up to the door, and I feel a horrible dread at the way she’s acting. Florence’s face is ghost-white, and I worry about how much more she can take without her music.

  “I think I need to show you guys something before you do anything else.” Lottie opens Florence’s door and motions for us to follow her into the hallway.

  “What the fuck?” Florence scratches at her ears, pain swirling in her pupils.

  “I don’t know, Florence. Let’s just go see, okay?”

  My pulse pounds in my veins when I step into the hallway, more from the look on Lottie’s face than anything else. I feel terrified by what we’re about to see, and I wish she’d told us what it is instead of dragging us from the safety of Florence’s room.

  When we reach the end of this hallway, she motions for us to pause behind her. We edge around the corner. Before us is a bustling nurse station buzzing with white-clad uniforms, and I feel as if we’ll be seen at any moment.

  Lottie points. I follow her gaze and see…Aiden? I start to step forward until I realize what I’m seeing. Aiden in a plain uniform taking empty trays off a food cart and stacking them on a counter. Aiden in a uniform. Cleaning trays.

  He’s one of them.

  Thirty

  Our staff is comprised of specialists in the areas of cardio-vascular health, neurology, psychology and sleep disorders.

  - The Galvanism Handbook for Parents

  I suck in a deep breath, my eyes welling with angry tears. I don’t understand at all, thinking back to the first moment I saw him, to the kindness in his eyes, to the way he seemed determined to help, to this.

  “Oh my fucking god,” Florence gasps. I can only nod my agreement, muted by his betrayal.

  It’s like he can hear us watching him. He looks up, eyes locking with mine. I can only stare. He stares back, and a sad smile ghosts his face. His eyes move from me to Florence, and he grips the food tray with fingers that have hardened to vises.

  “You bastard,” she whispers. I don’t know if he reads her lips, but he turns away from us and back to his trays. He sets one down, picks another up and stacks it in slow, belabored movements like he’s all too aware we are standing here watching him with fire in our eyes. I wait for him to sound some sort of alarm we’re out of our rooms, but I guess he figures he’s done enough already. Besides, it’s not like we can do much damage in our bare feet and breezy gowns.

  “We should go,” Lottie says
quietly, “before any of the nurses see us. They don’t like us to be out of our rooms.”

  Florence doesn’t move, not even when I tug on the shoulder of her gown. I wrap my hand around her cold, pale wrist and pull her alongside me. Her feet slap the floor in an uneven pattern, like she’s not quite aware we’re walking. She stares straight ahead as her face transforms into narrowed lids and straight, tight lips. He tricked us both, but I know she’s taking it way harder than I am. I want to punch him. I’m not sure what Florence wants.

  “I don’t understand. What’s he doing here?” I ask once we’re back inside Florence’s room. “They’re making him work for them. That has to be it. Right, Lottie?”

  She shakes her head. “No, he works here. He’s a janitor. Someone’s son or something.”

  “So, he was playing us this whole time.” I keep going over it in my head. The moment I met him. How much he helped us during the search for the Cafe. None of it makes any sense. “What was the point? I don’t understand at all.”

  Lottie shrugs. “I have no idea what he was doing out in the city with you guys, but…I doubt it was to make friends.”

  “Fuck him,” Florence says.

  “I trusted him, too, Florence.” I open my mouth, close it and then open it again. “I just don’t understand why he pretended to be one of us and then disappeared like that. It doesn’t make sense.”

  “Maybe that’s why he was so weird about Lucas. He was probably worried he was on to him.”

  “Did you say Lucas?” Lottie asks, the same wary tone sliding into her voice again.

  “Please don’t tell me…” I close my eyes.

  “No, he’s definitely not a nurse, a janitor or a Sleeper,” she says quickly. “It’s just…they aren’t keeping him on this floor.”

  “How do you know?” My body is holding onto too much nervous energy, thanks to my recent treatment, and I start pacing the small section of open floor before my skin can jump off my bones. “Where is he?”

  “I’ve learned to listen around here.” She pulls at the ends of her hospital gown and frowns. “Lucas is upstairs in a secure room. I heard he’s considered a high threat, so they put him there to keep him from doing anything stupid.”

  My heart thumps. “Secure? That can’t be good.” But despite how bad it sounds, true relief overwhelms me. Lucas is here. He’s really okay. Maybe if he’s fine, then Odin…After his fight with the Sleepers, they might have labeled him a high threat, too. It’s almost too good to be true, and I’m scared to hold onto these thoughts rushing through my head at warp speed.

  “From what I’ve been able to figure out, the entire second floor is under constant video surveillance. Plus, to enter or leave a room, you have to input a passcode on a keypad.”

  “That sounds insane.” Florence sits on the edge of her bed and wraps the sheet around her shoulders. “Paranoid much?”

  “Listen, Lottie.” My fingers find each other. They lace together and squeeze so tight I’m surprised by my own strength. “Have you heard about anyone else on that floor? Another boy, maybe?”

  Florence’s eyes sharpen on me. “Who are you talking about?”

  The floor and my eyes become friends. I feel as if I’ll never forget the way it looks. Never forget the way the black and white checker the space around my feet like a massive chessboard. If only I were the queen instead of a pawn. If only Doctor Jeremy were here to tell me the correct next move. I reach up to grasp the white king around my neck, but my fingers find nothing but air.

  “A boy named…” The chessboard blurs as my eyes are invaded by tears. I blink them back fast. “A boy named Odin.”

  “What?” Florence’s voice is sharp and loud. I hope she doesn’t think I’ve lost my mind. That the insomnia has finally consumed my brain completely. Maybe it has.

  I look up. Lottie frowns, but not in the recognition kind of way from earlier, the way she frowned when we mentioned Aiden and Lucas.

  “I haven’t heard anything about him, but that doesn’t mean he’s not here.” When she sees my face fall, she hurries to continue. “It’s been really crazy around here lately. Lots of kids coming in and going out.”

  “I thought you said he…” Florence trails off, stopping before she says what she knows I cannot stand to hear.

  “The doctor told me he was here.” My voice cracks on the last word.

  “Then, he’ll be upstairs,” Lottie says. I’m grateful she’s not asking questions. No matter what has happened between the Strand and now, I don’t think I can speak the words aloud.

  Florence moves in to my side, sheet dangling around her shoulders like a curtain. She grasps my chin in her piercing nails and forces me to meet her eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “I am if Odin’s here.”

  “If he’s here, we’ll find him,” Lottie says.

  “We?” I twist my face to look into her serious gray eyes half-hidden under a mass of brown bangs.

  “Hell yeah.” She smiles, but it’s a smile as damaged as mine. “I’m not staying in this place if you’re going to try breaking out. I mean, it’s practically impossible. We’re going to have to be smart, and there’s a high chance we’ll get caught. But I’m in.”

  “Even though you think it’s impossible.” My feet smack the floor as I begin to pace the short distance between the bed and the wardrobe, as if my steps will etch a pattern that will give us the solution.

  “Impossible without a plan.” Florence steps in front of me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

  “You have an idea?”

  She nods slowly. “We need to get our shit back first, but yeah, I have some ideas. It’s not perfect. We need to brainstorm a little.” She looks to Lottie. “And we need all the knowledge you have about nurse timetables and where everything is in this hellhole. We might be able to pull it off. Maybe.”

  “Well, it’s not like we have much to lose at this point.” Lottie walks over and completes our circle.

  “Let’s do this.” I wrap one arm around Florence’s neck and the other around Lottie. “Worst case, they lock us up if we get caught. It’s not like we aren’t locked up now anyway. Best case, we’re out of here. For good this time.”

  “Let’s just not get caught,” Florence says, fierce determination etched into her pixie features. “We’ll work out every single detail as precisely as we can.”

  ***

  Half an hour later, Lottie and I retreat to our rooms to carry out the first stage of our plan. We may have gone over every detail as thoroughly as possible, but there’s still a high chance something could go very wrong, and my heart lurches so hard inside me, my entire body shudders with each painful beat.

  I slide into the bed and pull the crisp sheets up over my eyes. I try to relax my tense body and steady my breathing before turning my face from the door. I stare at the wall with wide eyes.

  Breathe in, breathe out. I start with my shoulders, telling them to relax. Then, my hands, my legs, my feet.

  It’s impossible. I’m about as relaxed as the guests of Jurassic Park when the dinosaurs take over the island. If I have to lay here even one moment longer, my body will jump from the bed out of its own volition. It’s begging me to do something, anything, other than lie here like I’m content, drugged and comfy in this hard-as-nails hospital bed.

  Finally, I am put out of my misery when the door opens at my back. The doctor shuffles in, and I feel his beady little eyes on the back of my head. I can tell it’s him by the scent of mildew mixed with wood chips.

  He walks closer to the bed, and I focus my overwhelming energy on not holding my breath or stiffening my body. It takes everything within me to stay relaxed, although I’m afraid the pounding of my heart will give me away. My fingers twitch.

  “How are you feeling, Thora?”

  “I’m tired,” I say a little breathlessly. To my ears, I sound like a hissing cat ready to pounce, and I mentally cross my fingers he won’t make the same connection. “I wish I could sleep.”
/>
  “We’re doing our best to make that happen.” His voice sounds so convincing it takes all my willpower not to snap at him. I don’t understand how someone can lie so easily about something so important. I grit my teeth and pray he hasn’t noticed the tension slowly taking control of my muscles.

  “Just get some rest.”

  I let out a sigh of relief when the door clicks shut, but I wait a few beats more before rolling over to stare at the ceiling. Paranoia has become second nature to me.

  The clock on the wall ticks the seconds by, my only indication of the time in these windowless rooms and halls. My mind turns to our escape. As soon as the doctor has made his rounds to make sure we’re drugged to his satisfaction, the easy part will be over. I have no idea if we can really pull off our plan, but it’s not like we have many options. Stay in or get the hell out, and if my parents really are coming tomorrow, we have to do it today.

  My legs shake as I walk into American History class. I feel a Collapse coming on, and for the first time, I hope it happens at school.

  The girl who sits in front of me pivots in her seat, turning kind brown eyes on me.

  “Hi, Thora.” Caitlin’s forehead crinkles. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

  “I’m always pale.”

  “I heard Gemma got sent away?” she asks in a low voice, careful not to let anyone overhear. A tiny part of me softens at the fact she’d even think to ask about Gemma when most people pretend she doesn’t exist, but most of me can’t get past the throbbing head, the shaking hands, the blurring world. The fact I can barely concentrate enough to watch our history teacher shuffling toward us with our test results.

  Caitlin’s eyes widen as I sit here staring at her. Mr. Barnes saves me from answering by holding the quizzes in the air and announcing he’s handing out our grades. I jiggle my knees and wipe my palms on my jeans, trying to push the anxiety out of my body and into the rough material.

  Mr. Barnes comes down our row. He hands Caitlin her quiz. He moves on to me and gives me a sad smile before sliding the quiz onto my desk, face-down.