Sam takes a deep breath and looks at the stack of tablecloths and boxes of streamers and centrepieces in the storage room. “That should be everything,â€� she says with a sigh. I shut the door and lock it before putting the keys back in my pocket. “Great. What time did you say you’d be back tomorrow morning to start setting up?â€� “My brother and a few others will be over around 8am.â€� “I’ll have the beers ready,â€� I answer with a smile. She laughs. “Just wait a couple hours, please. I’d like them to remember my wedding and for it to not get too messy.â€� “If you insist,â€� I answer with a grin. She thanks me and heads out the front entrance. I watch her leave and turn back towards the closed storage room door. In 24 hours, Jess will be here, sitting at one of those tables. My heart starts to beat a bit faster and I almost jump out of my skin when my phone rings. I look at the screen and frown. “Hi, Mom.â€� “Hi honey,â€� she says. She sounds almost too friendly. “How’s my favourite son doing?â€� “I’m fine, mom. What’s up?â€� She never calls me just to chat. There’s always a reason or a request or a demand. Ever since my father got convicted of fraud, she’s been particularly ruthless. “When are you going to finish up with your little country project?â€� She asks. “It’s not a little country project, mom,â€� I sigh. “I’ve renovated an entire hotel and started turning a profit within the first six four of re-opening.â€� “Of course you did, honey, and that’s why I’m so proud of you.â€� I grunt in response and wait for her to tell me why she’s calling. “Your father wants you to come back to New York,â€� she finally says. “My father doesn’t have control over where I go, and if my father wants me to come back why didn’t he call me himself?â€� “Oh, you know how busy he is with the trial and everything. Listen. You get a manager in because we need you at the company.â€� “I told you, mom, I’m not working for the company any more. I won’t be involved in it. I didn’t know what kind of business you guys were doing, and I can’t believe I didn’t get convicted of anything. I won’t be associated with it.â€� My heart is pounding and I know my voice sounds harsh. I can almost feel a wave of cold come through the phone with my mother’s voice. “Don’t you forget where you came from, and who paid for that little hotel you’re working in. Don’t forget who made you what you are. You will come back, and you will work for your father. We need a clean name to put the new businesses to.â€� “Oh, right, so you just want to use me to start up some other fucking sham of a business, except this time it’ll be me who takes the fall if you get caught, is that it?â€� There’s no noise on the other end of the phone except for my mother’s heavy breathing. She says nothing until I hear a click and the line goes dead. My heart is thumping in my chest as I look at the blank phone. That’s the first time I’ve stood up to her like that. I know how deep her anger runs, and I know I’ll be in her bad books for a while but right now I just don’t care. There’s a wedding here tomorrow, the hotel is as busy as ever, and in less than twenty-four hours I’ll be seeing the one woman that’s been stuck in my mind for the past two months. I take a deep breath and head up the stairs towards my room. I toss my phone down on the table and turn towards my dresser. I pull open the bottom drawer and take out a stack of files, putting them on the table next to my phone and opening them up. I flick open the top file and run my eyes over the pages, flicking through them quickly. It’s all still here. Every one of the transactions, every one of the false companies and inflated charges. The prosecution doesn’t have any of this, and with one email I could destroy him. I only found these documents when I was clearing out my office and filing everything before I left, but it’s all here. Every crime, in black and white. I take a deep breath and close the files up again, sticking them under my arm. There’s a big scanner in the office downstairs. I head down and take out a little black USB thumb drive. I stick it into my computer, and one by one, I start copying the files onto the device. Every time a file copies over, my heart thumps a bit harder in my chest. When everything is done, I look at the little yellow folder on the screen. I right click the folder and type in a password for extra protection. I stick the paper files back in their folder and jog up the stairs to store them safely in the bottom drawer. The USB drive goes onto my key ring and I slide it into my pocket, tapping the keys with my hand as I try to slow my heartbeat down. These files were always supposed to be a safety net when I left New York, in case I was accused of anything else. I always told myself I’d never use them, that I’d protect my parents with my life. But now, I’m starting to realise that they don’t feel the same way about me. If my mother decides to make me the scapegoat for their next scummy business, I might have to turn against my own family. Chapter 41 – Jess
I’m numb. The whole trip from New York to Lexington is a blur, because all I can think about is the two little blue lines on the six different pregnancy tests I’ve taken since breakfast yesterday. At first I was in denial. I couldn’t believe it. By the fourth pregnancy test I started getting angry. Now, as I make my way up the path to Gram’s house, I just feel empty. I’m pregnant. For the second time in my life, I’ve gotten pregnant by accident. For the second time in my life, I’m completely alone for it. When this happened when I was a teenager, I was confused and terrified and ashamed. Now I’m confused and terrified but I’m not ashamed. I can already feel my love growing for the baby, and something else is growing inside me. It feels like fierceness or determination, or just a singular focus to give this baby the best life it could possibly have. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I know I will. Gram opens the door and wraps me in a hug, and I still feel numb except for that tiny fire burning inside me. “You didn’t have to stay up, Gram,� I say. “You should have gone to bed.� “Don’t be silly, Jessica,� she answers. “It’s only nine o’clock.� She’s wearing her dressing gown as she helps me into the house. I head upstairs to my room and say goodnight to Gram. She hugs me in the doorway and I melt into her arms. Right now, I wish I was still a little girl and she could wrap her arms around me and make it all better. She pulls away and strokes her finger along my cheek. “Beautiful girl,� she says softly. “You know I love you with all my heart, right?� I force a smile. “Of course, Gram. I love you too.� “I just want you to be happy.� “I am happy,� I respond softly. It sounds fake even to my ears. Gram nods slowly and smiles. Her wrinkles look even deeper than last time, and her eyes are just a little bit cloudy. She takes a deep breath and smiles again. “Ok. See you tomorrow.� She turns towards her room and I close the door and fall onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. It seems like I always end up here, in this room, staring at the same ceiling and thinking about my whole world being turned upside down. Now, for the second time, I’m wondering how I ended up pregnant and single. Are you going to tell him? Harper’s question rings in my ears and I try to remember the details of Owen’s face. The thought of seeing him after not speaking for two months makes me more nervous than I want to admit. The thought of seeing him and telling him that I’m pregnant with his child is completely terrifying. Eventually, I fall into a fitful sleep. I wake up a few times in the night, tossing and turning as I think about what tomorrow will bring. Will he be there? What will I say to him? I can’t say anything at Sam’s wedding, the day should be about her. I’ll have to wait until after Finally, the first grey light of dawn starts to appear and I sit up in bed. I know I won’t sleep any more, so I put on my running shoes and slip out the door. The air is fresh and clean as I start to run. Before I know
it, I’m rounding the corner towards the clearing. I take a deep breath and duck through the trees, coming to a stop by the river. The rock is still there, overhanging the bank where Owen and I sat and talked and I told him everything. My eyes sweep around and I remember the way he held me when we made love, and the way he looked into my eyes and held my hand. I’ve never had anyone look at me like that before. Is it really that bad if he was accused of fraud? The charges were thrown out, after all. I glance at the trees as the leaves rustle back and forth and then glance up at the sky. There aren’t any clouds to look at today, so I let my eyes rest on the flowing river. I take a deep breath. I was upset that I had opened up to him like never before and he didn’t return the favour. And then when I confronted him, he said those awful things to me. The memories of that conversation start flooding my mind and I turn back towards the path. He obviously didn’t care about me, if he would believe that I’d sleep my way into college. If he believed things that Mary Hanson said the minute I left even after I told him how she treated me, then he’s clearly not the type of man that will stand by my side through thick and thin. My hand floats to my stomach and I run my fingers in a slow circle over it. At the end of the day, it’s just me and this baby. If Owen wants to be a part of the baby’s life, that’s great, but he’s shown himself to be untrustworthy. I won’t have my child be influenced by someone like that. As my resolve sets, I start to jog back towards Gram’s house. I’ll tell him about the baby, but I’ll be very clear that whatever happened between us two months ago is over. I don’t need or want him in my life. I repeat those words to myself with every stride until it’s like a mantra. I don’t want or need him in my life. By the time I get back to Gram’s house, I almost believe myself. Just when I’m about to turn towards the front door, I hesitate and veer off in the other direction. My heart starts pounding in my chest as I turn down the road towards Main Street, and towards the Lexington Hotel. Chapter 42 – Owen
She’s in town somewhere, probably at her grandmother’s house. I haven’t slept a wink last night, and I know it’s because I’m nervous. I’m nervous about seeing her, and talking to her, and trying to tell her that I’m sorry. I’m nervous that she won’t let me speak to her, and that I’ll be left with this weight on my chest for the rest of my life. Ever since that conversation on the phone, it’s like I haven’t been able to breathe properly. It’s like every time I try to take a deep breath, there’s something wrapped around my torso that stops me from inhaling completely. I feel trapped in my own body, and today the weight feels ten times heavier. I rub my eyes and sit up in bed. I won’t sleep any more, I know it. There’s lots to do to set up and making sure the day goes smoothly, so I might as well get started. I pull on a pair of jeans and an old black t-shirt. I can change into my suit later. The old stairs creak as I jog downstairs and start the coffee machine behind the bar. Joe won’t be in for a few hours, so I get to work restocking the fridges with drinks. I move methodically from one fridge to the next. Sam’s family have delivered six cases of champagne and I shake my head as I transfer them to the fridge. It’s going to be a party. By the time I’m done stocking the fridges, my coffee is ready. I fill up a mug and take the cup out to the front of the hotel. There’s a rocking chair on the end of the porch, and it’s been my morning ritual to have a coffee and read the paper out there. I’ve definitely embraced the small town life. I settle into the chair and take a sip of coffee. It’s strong and bitter and exactly what I want. I’ll need more than one cup to get me through today. Just as I’m bringing the mug to my lips a second time, I hear footsteps running down the sidewalk. I frown and check my watch, wondering who would be out at this hour. It’s only six in the morning. I wait as the seconds tick by and the footsteps come closer. Soon, the runner will come into view. I rock gently back and forth, bringing my mug to my lips once more. The coffee touches my lips and suddenly the runner comes around the corner, flying towards the front of the hotel. Her brown hair is swinging back and forth with every step. Her strides are graceful and it almost feels like time slows down. My jaw drops just as her eyes scan the hotel and she spots me. My coffee mug, forgotten in my hand, keeps tilting towards my lips until the burning hot liquid pours down my chin and onto my lap. “Aah, fuck!â€� I yell, jumping up and brushing my pants as if it would stop the coffee from seeping in. Her laugh is the first thing I hear, and it sends an arrow straight through my chest. I glance up as Jess slows to a stop in front of me, tilting her chin to look up at me from the sidewalk. I’m standing on the porch, with just a couple feet and the white bannister between us. Her chest is heaving up and down as she pants from her run, with a smile still lingering on her lips. Time stops as we stare at each other. She’s more beautiful than I remembered. Her eyes are just as piercing, but her features are more defined than I remember. I can’t speak. Even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to think of anything to say. She breaks the spell between us when she tilts her head to the side and speaks. “You ok?â€� “Yeah, I’m fine. You just surprised me.â€� “Oh so it’s my fault, is it,â€� she asks with a grin, taking a step towards the porch. “Don’t blame me for your clumsiness.â€� “I don’t blame you for anything,â€� I breathe. She looks at me curiously and then glances down at the low shrubs lining the front of the hotel. She clears her throat. “Garden looks good.â€� “Thanks. Your grandma has been a big help.â€� “She likes you,â€� she says as her eyes sweep up towards me. “I like her too,â€� I respond. I wish I could think of something more interesting to say, but all I can do is look at her and breathe. I’m afraid if I say anything wrong or if I make a sudden movement she might disappear into thin air. She falls silent again and kicks a pebble near her foot. She runs a hand over her hair, smoothing it down towards her pony tail before taking a deep breath. When her eyes lift up to me again there’s something in them that I don’t recognise. She looks more determined than I’ve ever seen her. She looks almost cold as her lips part and she inhales one last time before she speaks. “I’m pregnant.â€� Chapter 43 – Jess
Knocked Up... Again!: A Secret Baby Second Chance Romance Page 12
