Chasing Love's Wings

by Zoey Derrick

“Cami, it’s perfect. Thank you.” I hadn’t actually thought about it in some time, and it’s not that I couldn’t afford it on my own; she wants it to come from her, and I love that about her.

  I finish with my presents: some clothes — well, more specifically, Ravens gear. I think we both did really well, considering neither one of us said anything about what we wanted for Christmas.

  The rest of our friends join us early in the afternoon. Travis, the one man I never thought would settle down, has decided to move to Phoenix with Naomi — at least until the houses in L.A. are done. It makes me happy to see that he’s making a commitment to her, and that was his big gift to her for Christmas. Cami and I had gone together and gotten something for everyone, though it wasn’t anything huge because the trip is on me; well, after Cami and I talked, we decided that we’re going to split the cost. She said it was important to her.

  The girls all disappear around four and are gone until dinner arrives in the suite and is set up at the big table outside at six. When the girls come back up, they join their men, but Cami isn’t anywhere to be found. “Where’s Cams?” I ask.

  “She said she needed a minute.” Oh. I give her a few minutes, but she doesn’t come out to join us, so I go looking for her. I knock on the bedroom door.

  “Come in,” she says, and I open the door, step inside and close it behind me.

  “Hey, sweets, you okay?”

  “I’m freaking out a little bit.” I look at her then: She has her shirt pulled up and her pants rolled down slightly, and her hands are on her belly.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She looks up at me and smiles. “Come here.” I take the few steps toward her. “Feel.” She takes my hands and places them on her belly.

  It takes a moment, but then... “It feels like popcorn.”

  She laughs. “I thought maybe it was either that I was hungry or had to go to the bathroom. Neither seemed to be the case, so I just sat here. I couldn’t take my hands off.”

  It stops when she stops talking. “Say something else.”

  “Like what?” And it happens again. It is the most beautiful feeling in the world, and I feel her thumb wipe away a tear before I even realize I’m crying.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I tell her, and she smiles.

  “So are you.” I lean forward and kiss her, keeping my hands on her belly. After a couple more pops it stops. We both wait anxiously for a few moments and decide that there is plenty of time to feel it again, and we join our friends.

  Beau tries to convince Cami that she can’t see me tomorrow, and she refuses. “I’ve never imagined not seeing my husband-to-be on my wedding day. So forget it,” she scolds.

  “Okay, fine, you can stay with him tonight, but come noon tomorrow, you’re mine,” she says as she and Mick leave our suite. They’re the last to leave for the night, and Cami and I fall into bed, exhausted, but that doesn’t stop us from enjoying each other one last time as boyfriend and girlfriend. “Mrs. Michaels. I love the way that sounds,” I tell her, and she giggles.

  “Mrs. Tristan Michaels. That does have a nice ring to it.

  I fall asleep playing her name over and over in my head. Cameron Celeste Michaels. Cami Michaels. It sounds so perfect.

  I am kicked out of the suite promptly at noon. I’m trying desperately to figure out what they need seven hours for, but I decide not to argue when Beau tells me that she will be ready by five, at which time I need to be ready and she will find me, and I’m okay with that. I go downstairs to Travis’s suite, thankful that the girls are all upstairs doing their girlie things. Trav and I hang out, talk about anything and everything. I come to find out that Trav is completely in love with Naomi and that he’s been doing everything he can to prove to her that he’s committed to her. Short of putting a ring on her finger. He hates that she doesn’t travel with him, but I told him that could be arranged. He just needs to hire her. But he made a few good points about them working together. He’s afraid he will grow tired of her. But in reality, I think it is just Trav being a man and wanting something that is his own.

  I am eternally grateful that Cami likes to travel with me, though in the coming months that will become harder for her to do and it makes me sad. But, while I’m filming, she does other things. She’s not hanging around the set bored or anything along those lines, so I have mine and she will soon have hers.

  Three o’clock rolls around, and Mick and Ty show up in Travis’s suite. Mick has my outfit for today: white linen pants and a matching short-sleeved shirt. He says that it will go great with what Cami is wearing, and it is perfect for a beach wedding. We all finish getting dressed and the room phone rings. I answer it because I’m closest to it. “The photographer is ready for you guys. On Blu’s deck.”

  “Thanks, Beau. Am I still to come up there at five?”

  “Sure, or when you’re done with pictures, whichever comes later.” I roll my eyes.

  “All right.”

  “Bring the guys too.”

  “Okay.” She hangs up.

  Cami and I have agreed that we won’t officially have anyone standing with us today but that, because they’re here, they are automatically part of the ceremony. The girls will be walking down the aisle before Cami does.

  When we get downstairs and onto Blu’s deck, it dawns on me that not only will Cami and I be getting married on the beach on the same island where we met, but that we literally will be getting married in the exact spot where we first met. It seems like a lifetime ago, but yet not all that long ago, either. She is who I want to spend the rest of my life with, no one else.

  FORTY-SIX

  ******

  Cami

  ******

  Knock, knock. “That’s probably Tristan,” Jo says as she goes to the door. She opens it. “Or not. What are you doing here?”

  “Who is it, Jo?” I ask from the living room.

  “Um.” She doesn’t answer, and I look toward the door.

  “Prime time for you to show up,” I snap.

  “Please don’t be like that, Cameron. Girls, can I have a moment alone with my daughter?” All eyes snap to me and I nod. I’m sitting on the couch, turning over the sofa to look at him; he can’t see all of me. The girls leave the room for the foyer. I have a feeling Tristan will be up here in no time flat, and I’m okay with that.

  “What are you doing here, Bobby?”

  “Please, don’t be angry with me.”

  “How did you even know where to find me?” I don’t want the answer to that question.

  His answer surprises me. “Tristan.”

  I gasp. “What?”

  “He sent me an email. Told me where and what time. Told me that this was going to be the biggest day of my daughter’s life, a day that I would miss if I didn’t come.” I watch as the tears form in his eyes. I’ve never, ever seen Bobby cry. “I couldn’t miss it and I couldn’t watch it from afar.”

  I stand up. I’m still facing away from him. My dress is a white linen halter top dress with a plunging neckline that meets a band that runs under my breasts, and it’s open in the back. My hair is up in a very beautiful, messy ‘do, and I have a purple flower over my right ear. There are three things happening here. One, I am not wearing a bra and my breasts have grown a full size since the last time I saw Bobby. Two, every inch of my back and my shoulders is exposed, showing off my wings as well as my shoulder tattoos. And lastly, even with the wide, flowing skirt, I am very clearly showing.

  I hesitate too long, and I know that Bobby is getting a full view of the ink on my body and I am certain that he is not pleased. “Cameron, turn around, please.” Nope, not pleased at all. So what. I turn around, and as I do I hear his sharp intake of breath, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. I feel like the six-year-old who stole a cookie from the cookie jar and I’m going to have it ripped out of my hands. “Please tell me—” he starts, and panic washes through me. “Please tell me that you are marrying him because you love him.” My eyes mee
t his, which are alight with curiosity and emotion, and a smile spreads across his face.

  “Yes, I am marrying him because I love him. I am marrying him right now because he’s asked and surprised me with this whole thing. Not because I am eighteen weeks pregnant with his child.”

  Relief washes over his features, and I stand there staring at him, waiting for the anger to set in, but he surprises me still. “I’m a horrible person for everything I’ve done to you. I don’t deserve to be here on your special day. But I am asking you to please, find it in your heart to forgive me for the God-awful mistakes I’ve made.” He takes a deep breath. “I can’t right the ship, I can’t make it go away, and as much as I want to, I won’t be able to fight to have a relationship with you because I can’t be there for you in a way I know you want me to be. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve had to leave the U.S. I can’t go back, at least not until I testify, which could take years. Even then, once I testify, I will likely never be safe again. Just because they’ve managed to take down the one person they needed to.... These rings are complicated, and just because the big guy is gone doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else waiting in the wings.”

  I try hard not to cry because of my makeup. But it’s very hard. “So I’ll never see you again after today?” He takes a step in my direction.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” he says as he draws closer to me. I hear the door click closed and Tristan comes into the room. “You see, your soon-to-be husband has acquired a piece of property on an island here in the South Pacific. An island that belongs to me.” He reaches me then, and I wrap my arms around him. “But that is our secret, between the three of us here and no more. No one else can ever know either that I own it or that I have a home on it. If you decide to visit and you’re alone — no friends, no staff, no nothing — I will come and visit you. But only I will come to you. Tristan knows how to reach me.”

  “What about today?” I ask.

  “Today is your day. Your friends here all know the truth — they know that I’m alive, which is fine — but by the time anyone knows I’ve been here, if at all, I will be long gone, disappeared over the horizon.” The way he says it sounds so mysterious and James Bond-ish. But I understand. I pull back from Bobby to look at Tristan.

  “Did you know?”

  He gives me a small smile. “I had a feeling when an anonymous email appeared outlining a listing of sorts. I put two and two together when I only paid fifteen grand for the property itself.”

  “He’s a smart one,” Bobby says, and he puts some distance between us. I look at Tristan: his tousled blond and brown hair, his beautiful white linen shirt and pants. Even in the light coming in from the patio, I can see through the shirt and see his dragon. He is wearing sandals, but I believe those will be ditched before the actual ceremony begins. He looks beautiful. He takes in the sight of me in my dress, then he comes over to hug me.

  “You look amazing,” he says as he kisses my forehead. We agreed that, other than for the pictures we’re supposed to take, we wouldn’t kiss between when we separated at noon and the ceremony.

  “Thank you, Tristan.” He pulls back from me and holds his hand out for Bobby to take, and Bobby does.

  “Thank you for being here.”

  Bobby smiles. “I wouldn’t miss it. Never have, never will.”

  “Dad,” I say before I realize what I’ve called him, but I don’t care. “Will you walk me down the aisle?” My voice is full of emotion and Tristan looks at me, testing to make sure this is what I really want.

  “I would be honored,” he says to me, and he smiles.

  I suddenly feel a twinge of guilt run through me. Tristan’s mom. She isn’t here and I feel awful about it. I look at Bobby. “Thank you,” I say. “Tristan and I are going to do some pictures up here, then we will be downstairs, on Blu’s patio. Can we meet you there?”

  “Absolutely,” he says, and he departs. I know I only have a few minutes before the photographer shows up and I want to say something to Tristan.

  “You look amazing,” he says to me, and he smiles. I smile back at him, but it is guarded.

  “Tristan?”

  “Yeah,” he says, knowing something is playing on my mind. “If you don’t really want him here, he can leave.”

  “No, it’s not that, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting him know, but it made me think of something and it’s not something I want to bring up...”

  He takes a deep breath, almost a sigh. “You’re referring to my mum.” I look at him then. “Sure, I wish she could be here to see you, to meet you, to meet our baby and to be a part of my life, but her passing is a reality I accepted a long time ago. And when I accepted that reality I understood that she’d never be at my wedding.” He takes another deep, long, shuddering breath. “It still hurts that she isn’t here, but your father being here does not make me wish she were here any more.” He starts to unbutton his shirt, and I watch as his dragon’s head appears. His hand rubs at it. “She is always with me.” He points to the dragon’s eyes and the dermal studs there. “You see, his eyes — those are made from earrings that she wore every day.”

  He begins to button up his shirt, and I can’t stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks. “God I love you,” I breathe.

  “I once had a dragon tattooed on my body, missing its heart because I always thought that my mum had taken it away from me when she left, but she put my heart in your hands to make me whole once again.”

  FORTY-SEVEN

  ******

  Tristan

  ******

  “Do I wish she were here? Absolutely,” I breathe, and Cami comes closer to me.

  “She’s here with us, Tristan, never, ever doubt that.” She puts her arms on my shoulders. “Everyone who is here with us, they are the people who matter. Today, and they matter tomorrow, and next month or next year. Your mom is here in your heart.” She places her hand on my chest over my heart. “And she is in here.” She places her hand on her own heart. “I’m sorry if I made you sad, it was not my intention.”

  I smile at her. “Cams, nothing on this day can make me sad. This is our day.” I lean down and kiss her.

  The photographer comes into the room, followed closely by Beau. “Hey now, no kissing,” she says.

  “But the photographer is here,” I say through clenched teeth for interrupting my kiss with Cami.

  “He wasn’t when you started.” I look at her and she sticks her tongue out at me. Cami busts into a fit of giggles at our exchange and all the heaviness of our conversation is washed away, just like that.

  Cami and I are posed and photographed over and over again. As we head downstairs to everyone else, Beau and the photographer leave ahead of us. I turn to Cami. “Do you have any idea how much those pictures are now worth?”

  She laughs. “Yes, I have an idea, but what makes them more expensive is the bump. Nothing fires up the paparazzi more than a bump watch.” She smiles at me.

  “How much longer can you wear baby dolls?”

  She lets out a carefree laugh. “Not too much longer, it is going to come out.”

  “Awards season is coming. Let’s try and hold off until then.”

  “It’s time,” Naomi says, and she shoos me and the guys out of Blu and onto the beach. The girls are dressed in short sundresses; they don’t match, but they are all similar in design and color. We’d decided that no one was officially standing with us today, but our friends are still part of our ceremony.

  Out on the beach is a beautiful white lattice that is wrapped with tropical flowers. There are only a few chairs in front of the altar set up. Seven to be exact. One for each of our friends and Cami’s father.

  I was so worried that she’d be angry with me for inviting Bobby, but it seems it was a good choice and I’m happy I did it.

  The four of us walk toward the altar, and standing there is a gentlem
an — I’m assuming he is our minister — and I walk toward him to shake his hand and thank him for being here. I turn back, and my best friends are sitting from right to left with a chair in between them. Tyson, then Travis. Across the aisle are two empty chairs and then Mick. I stand there for a few minutes, waiting impatiently.

  The doors open up, and standing on the other side of them is Naomi; behind her is Jo, then it goes dark. A guitar starts playing, light and soft. Naomi begins walking toward me; then the most beautiful voice begins to sing.

  Naomi comes forward, and just as the song registers, Jolene steps through the door.

  It’s “I Won’t Give Up,” but Jason Mraz isn’t singing it.

  Beau starts walking just as the chorus picks up.

  I see Cami stepping into the doorway, her arm through her father’s.

  She’s singing. I start crying.

  She’s walking toward me.

  She finishes the song and tears streak down my cheeks.

  The girls are now standing in front of their chairs, turned toward Cami.

  It’s just she and her father walking toward me in step to the music.

  She and her father are standing right in front of me. Bobby has an awed look on his face, and the song picks up in tempo.

  She smiles at me as I wipe away a tear.

  She wipes away her own tears before finishing out the song.

  Bobby removes Cami’s hand from his arm. “You’re beautiful,” he says to her, and she smiles at him. He kisses her cheek and places her hand in mine. I want to kiss her so bad for her beautiful song, but I behave myself at least for a few minutes.

  The sun is setting, and high clouds begin to dance with beautiful oranges, yellows and reds. The backdrop is gorgeous and I’ve never wanted anything more than the woman standing next to me in this beautiful and perfect setting.