The doctor told her to take it easy and to avoid stress, so from now on, no more seduction or trying to define this thing between them. Instead of trying to press for more, he would be the perfect gentleman. Rub her back or her feet when she needed him to, take her to the doctor and buy her ice cream if she was craving it, but under no circumstances was he going to risk her or the baby again.
An image of a naked Tawny, full breasts, little round belly, filled his mind and he shoved it back just as a hot rush of blood filled his cock.
It was going to be hard, in more ways than one, but he was determined. No sex with Tawny until he was sure she and the baby were safe, even if that meant waiting until after the delivery.
God help him.
Chapter 17
Eight weeks.
It had been eight long weeks since Luke had last touched her, and she was pretty sure she was going to lose her mind.
Surely something she’d only done a couple times couldn’t be classified as an addiction, could it?
She flopped back onto her bed and groaned. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, but she could barely even look at him at the last doctor appointment without wanting to jump his bones.
Not that he’d have noticed. He’d ceased seeing her as a sexual being somewhere around the time that he’d had to hold a cold cloth to her head while the doctor poked around her hoohah to make sure the false contractions hadn’t been something more serious. She imagined the fact that she looked like she was smuggling a watermelon under her shirt these days wasn’t helping her case either.
It was so unfair. He got to look exactly the same. Hot and muscular and sexy, while her body betrayed her in every possible way.
The baby rolled restlessly in her belly, almost as if in protest, and suddenly her irritation melted away. She pressed a hand to her stomach and closed her eyes to savor the moment.
There was a lot wrong with her life right now. She was pretty sure she was more than half in love with her unborn baby’s daddy, and she was hot on the Hulk’s tail for the title of “Most clothes busted out of in a day”, but she had this. Her precious little bundle, and soon she’d get to meet him.
She pushed herself awkwardly off the bed and stood in front of the mirror. In the event that maybe Luke wasn’t totally turned off by her, what might he like to see her in for their casual Jack and Jill shower tonight at his mother’s house? Not that she was going to try to seduce him. She definitely wasn’t.
But she wouldn’t say no.
Sighing, she opened her closet and flipped past the shirts she’d outgrown in the past few months before finding what she could now only describe as “torso tents”. She had to admit, between her limited budget and the even more limited options at the maternity store, nothing exactly screamed “come and get it”, but there was one shirt that wasn’t completely repugnant.
Fingering the lace sleeves and the cute, baby doll cut, she pulled it off the hanger and tugged it on before settling for a pair of comfortable maternity jeans. With a little make-up, she might just be acceptable. Maybe.
She slicked on some lip gloss and mascara and then ran a brush through her hair but no matter what she did, she felt like an alien inside her own body. She was just getting so round now. With a sigh, she tugged the neckline of the shirt down a bit to show off a hint of cleavage, which she wasn’t sure looked better or looked desperate.
Blowing a piece of hair out of her face, she briefly considered trying a different shirt, or maybe another pair of pants, but before she got the chance to riffle through her closet, she caught sight of Luke’s truck pulling up to the curb.
“Crap.” She grabbed her bag and hustled out the door, only stopping to lock it behind her before she hoisted herself into the passenger’s seat.
Clicking the door closed, she glanced at Luke, but he was staring at her with a strange, almost concerned expression twisting his handsome face.
“What?” she asked. “Do I look fat? Of course I look fat, but I mean, should I go—”
“No, no. Of course not.” He shook his head and shifted a little in his seat.
“Was I supposed to dress fancier?” She surveyed his outfit, a blue sweater and jeans that clung to his perfect, non-changing body. “I can go change—”
“Tawny, relax. You look great.” He offered her a smile, and even though every muscle in her body screamed to head back into the house and change, she buckled herself in.
She didn’t really look great. Her lips were puffy. Her fingers were swollen and she looked like she’d eaten a whole Christmas ham in one gulp. But he had to say otherwise. That was just the kind of guy he was. She was realizing that more and more every day.
While they might not have slept together in the past eight weeks, no one could accuse Luke of not being attentive. He’d brought her groceries, and taken her to the doctor and helped her through every worry and concern. He’d been great. Amazing. Perfect, really. Which only made the lack of intimate contact harder to bear. Every time he rubbed her belly or grinned that sexy grin her way, she wanted to jump his bones.
Sure, they’d had dinner dates. She’d even fallen asleep in his lap one night watching movies. But as far as him looking at her as a sexual being? That had seemed like it was a million years ago.
“Thanks. You, um, you look good too.” Her cheeks burned, and she swallowed hard.
“Thanks.” He shot her another smile, and then started the car. The radio filled the silence stretching between them, but then, as they drew closer to the house, he spoke again.
“I’m not sure what your family parties were like with your folks, but…my mom isn’t exactly the entertaining type. Like, she hasn’t hosted a lot of fancy parties or anything.”
He didn’t look at her, but she could see the slight crease of his eyebrows as he spoke.
“I don’t think my parents ever threw a party growing up. Moving from base to base, we never really got to know anyone enough for all that.” As a kid, she’d gotten close to her friends early on, but even she had learned to hold back after the first couple tear-filled, heart-rending goodbyes.
“Right.” Luke scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Well, my mom…she tried. She’s excited.”
“Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s wonderful. And no matter what, it’s so much more than anything I could have expected or wanted. It was nice of her to do this.”
In fact, it was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for her. It almost took the sting out of the fact that she’d finally made the call to give her parents the news and extend an invite and they had opted to not attend.
Almost.
The radio buzzed on for a little while longer, and then they pulled into the driveway. Outside, blue balloons were strung around the mailbox, and in big, childish letters someone—probably Tyler—had hung a banner with the words “It’s a Boy!”
Tawny grinned and opened her door, but before she could climb down, Luke was there, holding out his hand for her.
“I can get out of the car, Luke,” she said.
“Just let me help you.”
She rolled her eyes, but gave him her palm all the same, hating herself for the rush of need that rolled through her at the small, impersonal touch. When she was on the ground again, she wished she could grip his hand, keep it there, and hold it for the rest of the night, but just as quickly, he had slipped it away and moved to hold the door open for her.
She thanked him as she crossed the threshold into the house, and for a moment she didn’t recognize the place. The toys that normally littered the floor had apparently been put away and, sitting on the second-hand furniture that lined the room, were the faces of the people she’d come to care for most.
Tyler was sitting between his mother and father, the baby was perched in a little padded noodle-type thing, and Suzette was grinning up at her from an over-stuffed floral chair. Rex was drinking a beer on the chair in the corner looking on. In the center of the room, just in front of the fireplace, was
a wing-backed chair with a halo of blue balloons, a little stack of presents piled beside it.
“Tawny, sweetie, come in.” Luke’s mom rushed toward her and planted a kiss on her cheek, then swept toward her son and did the same.
“And the man of the hour, too. Come on, come on, the food’s out and we’re all dying to start celebrating.” She ushered them into the kitchen, and there, laid out on the Formica counter was the strangest party spread Tawny had ever seen.
One paper plate held an array of crackers all with little Cheez Whiz hearts on them. On another plate were hotdogs that had been cut to the size of cocktail franks. There were jello molds and something that looked like dip but might’ve been a tuna casserole. And those were just the plates where Tawny could figure out what the food actually was.
But none of that changed the fact that these people had gone out of their way for her and her baby and tears pricked the back of her eyes. In fact, the awkwardness of it all almost made it sweeter.
“This looks amazing. Thank you so much.”
Luke’s mom blushed. “It’s nothing, nothing. I’m not a great cook, but I had fun with it. Now come on, you’re eating for two.” She handed Tawny a plate and she took a little from each dish, but when the other woman left the room and she and Luke were alone, Luke grimaced.
“I should have gotten you food on the way over here. She tries.”
“It’s sweet. Really.” She crunched into a cracker, then added, “Besides, the baby loves Cheez Whiz.”
Luke’s dimples flashed and her heart did a little back flip, but before she had the chance to brave some of the less discernible food on her plate, Luke’s mother and Suzette were ushering her toward her throne in the middle of the room.
“Oh my gosh, I can’t wait. I just can’t wait,” Suzette said, and then pointed out the most elaborately wrapped gift as the one that was from her. “You can open it whenever you like, but I’m dying to see what you think.”
Tawny started with the most oddly-shaped gifts first. As she tore the paper away, though, she found something familiar in her hand. A stuffed giraffe she’d always thought was always on the ground here in the living room.
“That one’s from me,” Tyler said proudly.
A swell of emotion rose in her chest. “You…you’re giving the baby your toy?”
Tyler nodded. “The other one is from me, too. I really like them, so the baby will probably like them too.”
Tawny swallowed hard. “I’m sure he will.” These people were so warm. So loving. She could only hope those were qualities her son would inherit.
Luke ruffled his brother’s hair, and they both thanked him before Tawny moved on to the gift Suzette had pointed out. Inside the elaborate box was a picture of a half-finished crib.
“What’s this?” Tawny frowned.
“My dad is helping me build it, but I couldn’t get it done in time. I hope you like it.” She beamed.
“You got us a crib? The crib?” She was struggling to keep it together. It was the dream crib she’d pointed out in passing, not the one she’d registered for, and she knew how much it cost. She was about to argue but Luke gave her hand a squeeze and she realized that Suzette was excited to have been able to get them this gift. “Suze, you really shouldn’t have. It’s so gorgeous.”
“It’s nothin’, really. Only the best for my godson, am I right?” She winked, but her own eyes were suspiciously glassy. “Now come on, I wanna see the rest of your haul.”
There were a few other boxes—a stuffed monkey and set of newborn diapers, some bottles and pacifiers, a tiny rocking horse, and a car seat—but when Tawny got to the bottom of the stack, she was struggling to choke back her tears.
These people didn’t have much, and they didn’t have to do anything for her. A few months ago, besides Suzette, they hadn’t known her at all. And now… Now they were her family. Her baby’s family. And with every passing moment, their thoughtfulness and love threatened to overwhelm her.
When she reached the bottom of the stack, she ripped off the paper and opened another box to find a tiny, faded quilt with little squares of grey and white and blue. On the corner, someone had stitched an intricate letter “L”.
“Ah, that was Luke’s baby blanket. My mother made that and gave it to me at my baby shower. I thought maybe we could keep it in the family?” Luke’s mother grinned at her and Tawny forced herself to look down at the blanket again, running her fingers over the seams of the fabric. “I can change the letter to whatever fits, when you pick a name.”
“It’s gorgeous,” she choked, and then she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it back for one second more. Her throat was constricting and tears were threatening to spill over. She had to go, had to be alone to collect herself. “I’ll be right back.”
Tawny bolted out of her chair and rushed up the steps so quickly that her steps practically thundered through the rest of the house.
“Darn. Was it the blanket or maybe the food? I knew I shouldn’t have done the tuna dip,” Luke’s mother fretted, as she watched Tawny’s retreating back.
“Don’t worry about it, Mom. Why don’t you get the cake and I’ll go check on Tawny, okay? I think she’s just overwhelmed, is all,” he said. She nodded and he made his way toward the stairs.
It didn’t take long to figure out which room Tawny had escaped into—he could hear her racking sobs from all the way down the hall, and when he made it to the door, he rapped lightly with his knuckle before creaking the door open.
“Tawny?” he called softly.
She was lying on the guest room bed, curled in a little ball, and when she looked up and saw him there, she shoved a pillow over her face.
“Please go away.” Her voice was muffled, but he could just make out the words. “I’m being silly. I’m so embarrassed.”
“It’s okay. If you don’t like the blanket, we don’t have to use it. I don’t—”
She sat up straight and ran the back of her hand under her eyes, swatting away her tears. “I love the blanket. It’s beautiful. And the toys your brother gave us. And the rocking horse Rex made. It’s just…I’ve just been really emotional. Pregnancy hormones.”
She shook her head, and he moved into the room, careful to close the door behind him. Settling onto the bed next to her, he considered pulling her close, letting her rest her head on his chest and running his fingers through her long, soft hair.
But if he did that, if he smelled the sweet floral scent of her shampoo or felt the warmth of her skin against him, it would be next to impossible to keep himself from kissing her again. And if he felt her lips on his…
His jaw clenched. It had been eight long weeks, but he could get through another. He wouldn’t make a move, wouldn’t touch her until it was safe. And the safest way to ensure that was to keep his distance, because with every passing day, Tawny seemed to get sexier. His hands itched to touch her. His cock ached to be inside her. Some nights, he lay awake, hard and wanting, in a cold sweat. Others, when he couldn’t take it anymore…when she smelled too good, or got too close…when the cold showers didn’t work anymore, he took care of himself. Jerking off while he thought of her, legs spread on his bed. The taste of her. The way her breath caught when she came.
Asshole. She’s up here crying and all you can think about is sleeping with her again.
He shook his head and tried to refocus.
“Do you want to talk about how you’re feeling? Tell me what’s going on?” he asked. “Maybe I can help.”
She shook her head. “It’s hard to explain.” She sniffled. “A lot of different stuff. Your family is so frigging awesome and sweet. I can’t believe they did all this for me, so it’s like happy tears. But then two seconds later, I feel really low and sad because it’s weird to not know my body anymore. I’ve just been feeling so clumsy and, I don’t know.” A little pink flush rose in her cheeks. “I feel ugly. It’s hard.”
She averted her gaze, but he tucked his hand under her chin and l
ifted her face to look at him. “You’re not ugly.”
“I’m not telling you that so you have to compliment me, Luke. I just know I owe you some sort of explanation of why I’m acting so crazy and emotional lately.”
“I know that. But I want to compliment you. You’re not, and have never been, ugly. These changes--” He swept his gaze over her and his groin instantly tightened. Jesus, it had been so long. “I have to keep myself from staring at you, but it’s because I love the way you look. You are so incredibly beautiful and sexy, it’s killing me.”
She pulled away from him and shook her head dubiously. “Look, that’s nice of you to say, but I know that I’m sort of past the point of being sexually desirable, you know?”
He gritted his teeth, knowing he was going to pay for it with a brutal case of blue balls, and took her hand in his. Then he laid it on his already stiff cock. Even through the thick fabric, he could feel her fingers as they traced the outline of his thick erection, and she let out a little gasp of shock.
“Do you wanna bet?” he asked. “I want to tear your clothes off every time I look at you, but I didn’t think you wanted me to. After the last time with you running out of my apartment like that. And then, after what happened with the pain you were having, I didn’t know if it was safe or if you were nervous.”
“It’s safe. And I’m not nervous.” Her words came out in a rushed jumble but it took him a second to comprehend them.
His cock swelled and she gave another tentative squeeze.
“Look, Tawny, you don’t have to do this. I can wait. I’ve waited this long and I—”
“I don’t want to wait.” She searched his gaze, and the hungry, needy look in her eyes shot another surge of longing through him.
“Oh, thank god,” he muttered, pinching his eyes closed as need pounded through him. It took every ounce of self-discipline he had to open his eyes and continue. “But we are going to have to wait a little longer, because we’re in the middle of your baby shower. So you’re going to have to move your hand before I lose it.”
Knocked Up Page 12
