Forgotten: a truly gripping psychological thriller

by Heleyne Hammersley

  ‘I’d like to take you for a beer. I’m finished for the day and I’ve no plans, so how about it?’

  ‘Is it allowed? Aren’t there rules about socialising with patients?’

  Ellen grinned and stood up stretching and yawning loudly.

  ‘Sorry, it’s been a long day. Well, technically you’re not my patient.’ She crossed to the closet in the corner, took off her suit jacket and shrugged on a faded cotton shirt. ‘You’re Ekachai’s, so he’s probably not allowed to take you drinking. Plus he’s a man and an offer to take you out could easily be misconstrued. So how about it?’

  Kai practically leapt to her feet in her eagerness to leave.

  ‘You’re on, I just need to get cleaned up and– oh, shit! I don’t have any money.’

  ‘No problem,’ Ellen smiled. ‘My treat. Anyway, you’re in Thailand: most people come here because it’s cheap. So, go, wash, I’m dying of thirst here.’

  X

  The bar was busier than Kai had expected considering it was only five-thirty in the afternoon. It looked like it was a popular place with tourists, judging by the number of westerners occupying the tables, which were neatly arranged in shadowy alcoves. There seemed to be a bamboo theme running through the whole place – bamboo matting on the walls, pillars painted to look like thick canes and black and white bamboo print on the fabric covering the stools and the backs of the seats in the padded booths. The whole place was dimly lit, especially after the bright afternoon sun, and Kai struggled to focus in the gloom. She stood next to Ellen at the bar, reluctant to be left alone at a table among the afternoon drinkers. She tried not to stare as her eyes adjusted to the dimness, but it was hard not to become transfixed by the sight of other people, real people, maybe even English people, people she might have something in common with.

  Nearly every table was occupied, some by groups but most by pairs of men and women obviously trying to isolate themselves from the other customers. Judging by some of the over-affectionate, even lewd behaviour, they must have found some sense of privacy. With just a quick scan of the nearest tables she saw a red-faced, rather sweaty-looking middle-aged man slide his hand up the skirt of his female companion; and a nearby pair whose kisses looked more like bites.

  One thing that puzzled her was the number of mixed-race couples – western men and Thai women – dotted around the place. A loud fat man caught her attention. He stopped a young boy who was touring the tables trying to sell roses to any likely looking customers and ostentatiously bought the whole lot. His lady friend buried her face in his shoulder to hide her embarrassment when he presented her with the huge bouquet, but she still accepted them. As she pulled away from the man, Kai realised how different this woman was from the few other Thai women she’d seen in the hospital and on her brief trip out with Mark. Her hair was bleached in streaks and tied in thin plaits, each with a coloured bead at the end which swirled into complex patterns each time she flicked her hair back from her pale, heavily made-up face. She wore a waist-length denim jacket and microscopic shorts which gave a good view of her buttocks.

  ‘What’s that about?’ Kai whispered to Ellen.

  Ellen turned to study the couple, scowling her disapproval. ‘Thailand’s most lucrative industry.’

  Kai shook her head puzzled.

  ‘It’s what most men come here for,’ Ellen sighed. ‘Do you really think a guy like that could attract such a pretty girl with his looks and personality? She’s a hooker.’

  ‘Are we in some sort of seedy bar?’ Kai asked, completely baffled.

  ‘Only in the sense that every bar here has its seedy element. Personally I don’t get it. Everybody knows that the guy has paid the girl to be seen with him. What’s the point in showing her off like that, being so public about the fact that he has to pay for it? I know it’s an ego boost to be seen with a good-looking girl, or guy, but somehow that gets cancelled out when it’s just a business transaction.’

  Kai looked at the other couples around her. So many obviously fit Ellen’s description – she even saw western men with Thai boys – and yet the other customers didn’t seem in the least bit disturbed. There were other people in the bar who seemed to be there simply to enjoy a drink and a chat with their friends. Kai shrugged, live and let live.

  ‘What are you having?’ Ellen asked, having finally attracted the attention of a hassled-looking barmaid.

  ‘The usual?’

  Ellen studied her face for a few seconds checking that it was safe to smile.

  ‘Okay, funny. How about a cold Beer Chang?’

  ‘Sounds good to me. Shall I find us somewhere to sit?’

  Ellen nodded and turned back to the barmaid to place her order while Kai headed for one of the few vacant booths, partly hidden behind a thick wooden pillar but with a good view of the bar. See but not be seen: not quite as good as sunglasses but fairly close.

  Half an hour later she settled back in her seat, enjoying the beer buzz and Ellen’s company. The doctor soon had Kai transfixed with the story of her complicated background. Her father had been with the US marines during the Vietnam War and, like most of the soldiers, he’d looked forward to his R and R time in Bangkok. Kai had been puzzled when Ellen just assumed she would understand her Americanisms but got the gist when Ellen explained that much of Thailand’s sex industry had sprung up in the sixties to service the servicemen. Ellen’s father had met her mother on one of his forays into the big city.

  ‘Your mother was a prostitute?’ Kai asked, too shocked to manage any tact.

  Ellen smiled. ‘It would have been a colourful story if she was, but she was just a waitress in a restaurant my dad used to visit. They saw each other across a crowded room and the rest is history.’

  Much of Ellen’s personal history was rather sad, concerning the prejudice she’d faced as a mixed race child in a Midwest town and the struggle to become accepted in the male-dominated world of psychotherapy, but she managed to give all her stories a witty angle. She gave Kai an account of the time she was approached by an American man in the bar of a Chiang Mai hotel. She’d let him do all the persuading, telling her what a nice, gentle guy he was while she just nodded and smiled. When he’d finished she’d said in her broadest, fake New York accent: ‘Get outta here, buddy, and go back to your wife.’

  Kai nearly had hysterics when Ellen described how he’d been so surprised that he’d gone to take a swig of his drink and completely missed his gaping mouth. It felt so good to be living again, to be doing something normal, to be in good company – the only thing missing was the fact that Kai couldn’t reciprocate with stories from her own life. She felt the imbalance in the relationship but Ellen didn’t seem to mind: she had enough anecdotes for both of them and clearly enjoyed sharing her stories, and her time, with Kai.

  She’d just launched into a tale about a drunken binge during her college days when Kai’s attention was drawn to movement at the bar. The shock of recognition jolted her back to the present, her frown prompting Ellen to stop mid-sentence and turn round.

  ‘Who’s that?’ she asked squinting in the poor light.

  ‘Mark. I told you about him, the one who’s been visiting me,’ Kai said, her attention shifting from Mark to the figure at his side. She was leaning on the bar, arms crossed, facing outwards, scrutinising the other customers and affording Kai a clear view of her face. Her glance passed from table to table, much as Kai imagined her own had when she and Ellen had first arrived. However, this woman exhibited more than passing interest; she almost looked as though she were searching for something or checking out each couple like a disapproving aunt. Her features were strikingly pretty, almost little-girl-like, an impression enhanced by the baggy, collarless man’s shirt and baggy, bleached jeans she was wearing. As Mark turned and handed her a drink her face lit up with an adoring smile which contrasted starkly with the peculiar intensity of seconds before. Mark’s expression was lost in the shadow of the pillar he leaned against, but the
way he clinked the young woman’s bottle with his own indicated approval.

  ‘Looks like he’s having a good time,’ Ellen observed. ‘Found himself a playmate.’

  Kai shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. He didn’t really strike me as that type. He seems sensitive and gentle. I don’t think he would pay a woman for sex.’ Even as she spoke she could hear how naive her words sounded. She couldn’t hide her disappointment, and a thrill of anger from the feeling of being cheated.

  ‘Honey, they’re all that type,’ Ellen announced in a mock southern drawl. ‘How long have you known him?’

  ‘A few days. He came into the hospital to see me – then, yesterday, he took me out for a couple of hours. But he seemed so nice and he’s been so kind to me. Surely he can’t have been putting it all on. It didn’t seem like a front.’

  ‘Go talk to him. Maybe she’s a friend, maybe she’s not Thai: she might be impostor like me.’

  Kai considered this suggestion. How would he respond? If she confronted him and he was pissed off he might not visit anymore and Kai felt like she needed all the friends she could get. But friends like that? She continued to watch him, pulling back into the booth like a startled tortoise retreating into its shell when she thought he was turning her way, then tentatively peering out again. She could feel Ellen smiling at her behaviour.

  ‘What?’ she demanded.

  Ellen shook her head. ‘Go talk to him. If this matters so much to you at least put your mind at rest one way or the other. Just stop playing at Harriet the Spy.’

  ‘Okay,’ Kai breathed. ‘I’ll go.’

  She stood unsteadily, unsure if her dizziness was the beer or her confusion, and crossed slowly to the bar, willing Mark to turn and see her before she had to force her presence on him. Instead he turned away to say something to his companion, forcing Kai to tap him on the shoulder.

  ‘Hi, we meet again.’

  Mark turned, frowning, and for a second he looked like he had no idea who she was until his eyes lit up with a brilliant smile.

  ‘Kai, what the hell are you doing here? Have you been let out for good behaviour?’

  He seemed genuinely pleased to see her, squeezing her shoulder gently as he studied her face, his eyes flicking backwards and forwards, taking in every detail. There was no sense of embarrassment or secrecy about him: he turned to his friend and immediately introduced the two women.

  ‘Kai, this is Phet, Phet, Kai.’ He looked pleased with himself for completing this most basic of social niceties and folded his arms as though waiting for the two women to speak.

  ‘Hi,’ Kai dutifully responded, forcing herself to meet Phet’s catlike green eyes.

  Phet grinned in response, ‘Hello Kai. Mark has told me about you. You have been in the hospital. How are you?’

  Kai fought down a flicker of resentment as she imagined Mark discussing her problems with this rather striking woman. Phet’s English was accented but clear, not what Kai had been expecting. How did a prostitute come to learn fluent English? Mark stepped in to clarify.

  ‘Phet’s from Bangkok. We taught in the same school. When I said I was heading north she decided to come with me. Her family are from round here so she’s visiting relatives.’

  Phet smiled in confirmation.

  ‘Oh,’ Kai responded banally, feeling oddly deflated. There was an explanation.

  ‘Anyway,’ Mark interrupted her thoughts, ‘what are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t be trusted on your own.’

  Kai gestured to where Ellen was studying them with intense interest. ‘Found a friend,’ she said, unwilling to let him know that Ellen was a therapist. She didn’t want Mark to think she was crazy enough to need a shrink, didn’t want to frighten him off so soon.

  ‘Another patient?’ Mark asked.

  ‘Something like that,’ she lied. ‘I’d better get back to her. Do you want to join us?’

  ‘Okay,’ Mark smiled. Kai noticed he didn’t even bother to consult Phet as he strode across the room with the two women following in his wake. Ellen moved down the bench as he approached, allowing room for the four of them round the small table.

  ‘Hi,’ he said, sitting next to the doctor. ‘I’m Mark.’

  ‘You’re the knight in shining armour,’ Ellen grinned. ‘The one who rescues damsels in distress.’ Mark’s smile wavered a little as though he was uncertain whether this was a compliment or an accusation.

  ‘Hey, it’s okay,’ Ellen reassured him, placing a hand on his arm. ‘I think it’s great that you want to help her.’

  Kai, sitting opposite Mark, could sense his unease. He clearly didn’t know what to make of Ellen. Perhaps he’d been expecting a meek Thai woman and was thrown by this forthright American. Perhaps he just wasn’t used to women touching him.

  ‘Mark’s been a real help,’ Kai said in his defence. ‘I don’t know what I would have done if I’d been stuck in that place much longer with no hope of escape. It was such a relief to get out.’

  Mark shrugged modestly. ‘What can I say? I must have been a tour guide in a previous life. Maybe we can do it again sometime soon?’

  ‘I’d like that.’

  ‘Better clear it with your doctor first,’ Ellen teased. ‘You know how Ekachai likes his rules and order.’

  ‘You know Doctor Ekachai?’ Mark asked.

  ‘A little.’

  ‘Is he your doctor?’

  Kai cringed inwardly. She didn’t want Ellen to admit to her real role at the hospital, or the true nature of their relationship. She just wanted Ellen to be a friend, at least for tonight.

  ‘Not really,’ Ellen responded. ‘I’ve seen him around a lot though. Anyway, enough hospital talk. How long are you in Chiang Mai for, Mark?’

  ‘It’s all quite open-ended at the moment. I was intending to do some trekking, maybe some rafting as well. I don’t have to be back in Bangkok for a few weeks yet.’

  ‘Time for more tour guiding then?’

  ‘Who knows?’

  ‘How about you?’ Ellen suddenly asked Phet. ‘Are you here for long?’

  Phet glanced at Mark as though looking for a cue before responding.

  ‘For only two weeks. I have to have some time with my family before I return to Bangkok. It is good to be away from the big city. While I am here I wish to visit the countryside, I like the fresh air.’ Another glance at Mark who took a long pull on his drink and smiled at Phet.

  ‘Bangkok’s too hot at this time of year. The traffic fumes just linger at street level and you can’t breathe. It’s a bit cooler up here, especially in the evenings. I like to be able to sit outside and eat without being smothered by diesel fumes.’

  ‘Can I get you another drink?’ Ellen asked standing up.

  Mark shook his head and drained his beer, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he threw his head back.

  ‘Sorry, no, places to be, people to see, that sort of thing.’

  ‘Me also,’ announced Phet, placing her half-finished beer on the bar. ‘Nice to meet both of you.’

  Kai watched as they weaved their way through the tables to the exit, losing them in the light of the doorway, before she turned back to Ellen.

  ‘See, I told you he was all right. She’s just a colleague.’

  Ellen smiled knowingly. ‘You sound relieved.’

  ‘I just didn’t want him to be sleazy. He seemed so nice – I didn’t want to find out that it was all an act.’

  Somehow, she wasn’t convincing herself. She needed to believe in Mark, but this evening hadn’t felt quite right. She wanted to believe that Phet was another teacher, but something about the smile in the woman’s eyes had left her uneasy, as though Mark and Phet shared a secret, a past. She couldn’t quite make the emotion form a solid shape in her mind but it tickled her subconscious for the rest of the evening despite Ellen’s best attempts to entertain her.

  She was relieved to get back to the security and familiarity of her hospi
tal room and lose herself in her diary for a while.

  Well that was a shock. She was sitting in a darkened corner booth with a strange Thai woman who looked pretty sure of herself. She’d certainly been keeping the conversation going. I almost convulsed with jealousy when the two of them had collapsed into hysterical giggles. And she was fucking drinking. I hate that, hate how women get when they’ve had a few – bloody assertive and challenging. Still, I know how to cure that, don’t I?

  I knew she’d seen me as soon as I’d settled at the bar. I’d seen her staring, just a glimpse out of the furthest corner of my eye, but it was enough. And I could see that she was hooked, caught. I knew she wouldn’t be able to resist coming over to talk to us, to find out who my companion was. Phet’s well trained though. I’ve only known her for a few days but she knows the rules and she knows her role. Do as she’s told and she’ll get paid – and laid; refuse and she’ll get hurt. She isn’t frightened of me, she just knows what to do almost without being asked. It’s a good arrangement, it suits me – for now.

  I leaned forward and quickly gave her an outline of the situation, she’s a good actress and she’s quick. Satisfied with her understanding of the situation, I clinked bottles with her, and waited.

  God, she’s so bloody predictable! Less than five minutes and up she trots like a faithful spaniel. I could tell she’d been burning with curiosity, her eyes flicking over Phet like she was a fucking alien or something. The relief on her face had been pitiful when I’d told her that Phet was a ‘colleague’. Oh, how she loved the respectability and convention! Phet as a whore would shock her socks off, but Phet the teacher gets ten out of ten for being acceptable and normal.

  What a sucker! The look on her face when I left, like I was abandoning her or something. But she’s found a new friend, another patient. Probably another fucking psycho. I couldn’t resist having a bit of a chat with them both and this Ellen wasn’t quite what I’d expected. She was really full of herself, even put her hand on my arm at one point. I stayed cool though, cool and polite. Answered her questions, given her a bit of flannel but I can see that I’ll have to be careful, keep a close eye on the situation. I can’t risk someone else getting too close to her, sharing secrets, telling tales. Not that she has anything to talk about.