Rush: A Second Chance Romance

by Ellen Lane

  He’d been holding her hand the day he arrived, for God’s sake. If that wasn’t a giveaway, she didn’t know what was. In many ways, Charlotte felt like his dirty little secret - and it wasn’t a very nice feeling.

  She did what work she could to distract herself from it, speaking to Charlie daily for hours on end to make sure the building was going according to schedule. He sent he literally reams of pictures, and from what Charlotte could see, the structure was rapidly taking its unique shape. Though she was just as worried about Jackson Kensley as any of his family, she sometimes found herself wishing she had stayed in LA. Better that than lying next to Vladimir at night after he’d made love to her, wondering how much longer he was going to need her.

  When he suddenly wouldn’t.

  Her thoughts were awful and guilty, but Charlotte simply couldn’t escape them.

  So she did the next best thing - she called Lila.

  “Charlotte,” Her friend answered her in a serious tone, “Dear God, I saw what happened on the news. Is everything ok?”

  A weak laugh escaped the redhead. “If by ‘ok’ you mean all the Kensley brother’s suicidal, their father in the hospital and their mother crying her eyes out then, yeah, they’re peachy.”

  Lila groaned. “Jesus, that bad.”

  Charlotte ran a hand through her tangled curls. “It’s Stage III Hepatic Cancer, but they’re doing all they can for him. They’re saying the fact that he’s been pretty healthy for so long without chemo has to be a good sign.”

  There was a momentary pause before Lila replied, her tone somewhat cautious. “And Vlad? How’s he taking it?”

  Charlotte’s eyes slid closed as she thought of the way the Russian man stared at the ceiling every night after he made love to with torturous deliberation. “Probably worse than any of them. They look to him, you know. He’s supposed to be the next CEO...but none of them imagined it would be like this.”

  “Of course not,” Lila replied, the very notion blasphemy. “No one could have predicted this.”

  “Vlad is hard on himself. Says he might have noticed something sooner if he paid more attention.”

  Charlotte’s comment garnered outrage from her roommate. “How the hell could he have done that? He’s been away for six months. Christ, this man is a nutcase.”

  “I love him.”

  Charlotte uttered the words so softly that she herself could hardly hear them. But she was talking to Lila - and Lila had known her better than almost anyone. The blonde was silent for almost a full minute before she responded. “Oh, Charlotte.”

  “I know,” The redhead returned on a groan that was embarrassingly on the edge of tears. “I’m so stupid. So fucking idiotic. How could I have let this happen?” She took a steadying breath, swallowing the lump in his throat. “It’s like I’m his dirty secret here...I stay in the room all day and I avoid his family so I don’t have to talk to them and explain what’s going on between us…. God, Lila, I’m so selfish. So goddamn selfish.”

  Despite everything she had fought against - despite their rocky beginning and the fact that Vladimir Kensley was the antithesis of everything she thought she wanted in a man, here she was. Helplessly head over heels for him. Simultaneously wanting to cuff him for treating her like chattel and hold him in her arms to comfort him. For others, Vladimir was strong. So strong...but his weakness was that he refused to let other people in - even those closest to him.

  “You have to tell him, Lotte.”

  This time, when Charlotte laughed, the sound was scathing and incredulous. “Are you out of your mind? This is the absolute worst time to bring something like that into the mix!”

  “And it might be exactly what he needs,” Lila explained calmly, ever-rational. “He’s clinging to you, Lotte, because neither of you have talked about your feelings. As far as he’s concerned, what’s between you could end any day. Telling him something like this is a gamble, yes, but would it really be so bad to reassure him that you’re not going anywhere when he needs you most?”

  Jesus. Jesus.

  There was no way. None. The man would eat her alive - and not in the way she liked. His family would eat her alive for daring broach something like this when their lives were in such chaos.

  But...Lila was right. The prospect was as terrifying as anything Charlotte had ever contemplated, but she couldn’t deny it.

  If she didn’t tell Vladimir how she felt now, when would she ever get another opportunity? They only had a few more days before they had to go back to LA, and God knew what would happen then. Or, heaven forbid, his father got worse and…

  God. This was such a mess. “Lila...I... I don’t know if I can.”

  Charlotte heard a sound that might have been her friend standing up. “The Lotte I know can do anything she wants. Graduate from a school that’s constantly cutting her down. Make her way in a firm that’s stifling her. Land one of the most momentous architecture contracts of the last decade.

  “Charlotte, if you can do all that...you can certainly do this.”

  The redhead bit her lip so hard she almost drew blood.

  How was it that Lila always knew exactly what to say to her?

  Shutting her eyes tightly, the redhead spoke in a hushed tone. “God, I love you, Lila.”

  “I love you too. Now...go do what you need to do.”

  Getting out of the house was easy enough. Though Charlotte hated to interrupt Shiro when he as obviously dealing with some major shit, he got her a car to the hospital when she asked for one.

  She had no idea how she was going to go about this. Though Charlotte had been with men before - even believed herself infatuated - she had never felt like this. She didn’t know how to explain this...much less in a way that someone like Vladimir would understand.

  If there was one aspect of the man that Charlotte absolutely understood, it was the reluctance to let anyone see where you were vulnerable. And she was about to do just that

  She was absolutely terrified.

  The twenty minute drive to the hospital seemed to take less than twenty seconds, and, all at once, she was walking through the double doors, heading towards the treatment ward where they were administering to Jackson Kensley. By the time she reached the fifth floor, she could hear little else over the pounding of her own heart in her ears.

  The hall outside Jackson’s room was empty, so she stepped up to the glass pane of his door to peek inside.

  Vladimir wasn’t there either. The only people inside were Jackson himself and his wife Olivia. Charlotte noticed ruefully that the man appeared much thinner and paler than he had mere days ago. The treatment was obviously taking its toll on him.

  She wondered if his wife had ever let go of his hand. Olivia hadn’t come home since Jackson collapsed, and she looked just as haggard as her husband. However, unlike Olivia, Jackson, incredibly, was still smiling. It wasn’t as wide, or as robust, but it was still just as genuine as those he wore when she saw him in commercials on TV.

  For a long moment, she stared at the scene before her. She wasn’t the praying type, but in that moment, she prayed with every fiber of her being that Jackson Kensley would pull through. If anyone could do it, it was the man who had built an empire out of nothing.

  In the midst of her clumsy prayer, the man in the window turned to look right back at her. Charlotte inhaled sharply, ducking away from the window guiltily. The last thing she needed was for Jackson Kensley to think that she was spying on him and his family. She had little business here in the first place. He had hired her for architecture, and now she was moments away from prostrating herself at his son’s feet.

  “Charlotte.”

  At the sound of her name, muffled, through the door, the young woman winced. She’d been discovered.

  “Charlotte?” The voice came again, and the young woman hoped in vain that perhaps he would think he’d just imagined her. But today simply wasn’t her day. “Please come in, Charlotte.”

  She couldn’t very well re
fuse him. Taking a deep breath, Charlotte straightened, wishing she were wearing something more flattering than her yoga pants and hoodie for her first meeting with the man who had changed her life. She did her best to smooth stray strands of hair from her brow and then, bracing herself, she opened the door to step into the room.

  It was very quiet inside. Once she closed the door behind her, almost completely silent. Charlotte met the gazes of both Jackson and his wife, trying to remember how to breathe as her cheeks burned. “Mister and Mrs. Kensley...I apologize I was just...I was looking for Vladimir. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

  “You’re not disturbing us.” To her surprise, Jackson’s smile, ever-benevolent, never faltered. “Come over here, my girl. Look how you’ve grown.”

  A lump rose in her throat with alarming speed, and Charlotte found her vision blurring. She couldn’t cry. She wouldn’t cry.

  Jackson gestured for her to sit down on the edge of his bed, and Charlotte found herself obeying automatically. The man gave her a slow once over, his smile warming even further. “Trevor was right. You look just like your mother.”

  A sob rose in Charlotte’s throat. She couldn’t help it. This man had known her parents before she was born...known her mother for far longer than she had. The things she could ask him… “Her hair was just as wild. Nothing Beth did could tame it.” Jackson reached out to tug on a vibrant curl gently. “And now, here you are. Making your way up in the world.”

  That certainly didn’t feel like what she was doing at the moment. What it felt like she was doing was attaching her heart to her sleeve, ripe for anyone feeling particularly malicious.

  “Olivia, this is Trevor and Beth’s daughter,” Jackson didn’t seem to mind the tears spilling down the young woman’s cheeks. “She’s incredibly talented. The LA building is doing splendidly and Dansk can’t stop gushing about St. Petersburg. They’re already talking Berlin.”

  Berlin? The prospect was enough to take her breath away - but not as much as the warmth of Olivia’s eyes. From her wan face, they shone brightly, and her smile was genuine. “I can see so much of Beth in you, sweetheart. Thank you for coming.”

  Jackson turned to his wife briefly to place his free hand over hers, drawing her knuckled to his mouth to kiss. “My heart, will you give us just a moment. There are a few things Charlotte and I have to discuss.”

  If Olivia was surprised, she hid it well. With obvious reluctance, she stood, leaning over her husband to kiss his forehead before letting his hand slide from hers. “Call me if you need anything.”

  With that, she glanced at Charlotte as if telling her the same before stepping from the room. Once she had, Jackson sighed, stretching before he settled into position once more. “I love her to death, but I personally think they’re all on the tombstone bandwagon. I hope you have more faith in me than that, Charlotte.”

  He winked winningly and Charlotte let out a watery laugh. How on earth could he joke about this? He was deathly ill. At this point, he was more likely to die from the treatment than he was to get better. And yet, Jackson Kensley still smiled. “Of course, sir.”

  “Now, Charlotte,” Jackson took her hand between his weathered ones, his grip surprisingly strong. “From what I hear, you’re not the teary type. Don’t cry for an old man. Struggle is part of life. If it’s my time, it’s my time. I’ll go happily knowing I’ve provided for my sons and all those I’ve left behind.”

  His sons.

  Vladimir.

  All at once, guilt overwhelmed her. She hadn’t come here to draw a weakened Jackson into idle conversation, she’d come for his son. The son she had absolutely no right to. “Charlotte.” When she hung her head, Jackson’s low murmur recaptured her attention. “Do you know why I chose your particular brand of artistry for my new projects?”

  Slowly, Charlotte shook her head. When she had first been hired, she thought she had all the answers. Kensley Enterprises was innovating. They were branching out and changing their image...but once she met Vladimir, everything got a little fuzzy.

  “There are times in our lives,” Jackson told her softly, “Where we must choose between what works, and the chance to make it work better. You have taken risks all your life. The death of your mother only made you stronger and you have challenged anyone who has dare stood in your way.” He chuckled softly, as if the mental image itself amused him. “Since coming here, my Vladimir has faced little opposition. He excelled at everything put in front of him. He’s a perfectionist - harder on himself than I could ever be. The one thing I could never teach him was how to enjoy himself.”

  That certainly sounded like Vladimir. “So, tell me, my dear,” Jackson inquired lightly, “What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?”

  She swallowed thickly, her chest so tight that she could barely breathe. “I don’t know.”

  Jackson laughed softly. “Don’t you?”

  But that couldn’t…. he couldn’t… “Charlotte, you are an incredibly talented artist. Even if Vladimir wasn’t part of the equation, your designs stood out to me. But I hope you’ll forgive an old man his desire to see his sons happy...and Vladimir...well, you can deal with him far better than I ever could.”

  Charlotte forced herself to take a deep, steadying breath. “Where is he?”

  Jackson nodded his head in the direction of the doorway. “He left about half an hour ago - to get some air, no doubt. He doesn’t like dealing with what he can’t control...and he certainly can’t control this.”

  Charlotte looked into Jackson Kensley’s bright green eyes. Vladimir might be adopted, but she saw the same resilience in his gaze. He could only have learned it from his father. “Go reign in my pigheaded son, Little Lotte.” Jackson cupped her chin in his palm. “He needs you.”

  It was a lot easier said than done.

  Charlotte left Jackson wanting to know more - wanting to know everything. But, hopefully, there would be a time for all that. She took the stairs to the roof two at a time, going so fast that by the time she finally burst into the evening air, she was breathless.

  Vladimir stood at the edge of the rooftop, staring out over the highway below. He whirled at her sudden appearance, his expression tightening a moment before faint surprise showed on it. “Charlotte. What are you doing here?”

  The young woman gathered every iota of courage she possessed before taking a step towards him. “Vladimir...I have something I need to talk to you about.”

  The dark-haired man rubbed a hand over his stubbled chin - he hadn’t shaved in days and Charlotte was torn. He looked as deliciously rugged as he did haggard. “Is there any way it can wait until tonight? I have a few hours left with father, and then I have some work to get done-”

  “Vladimir, I’m in love with you.”

  The man went utterly motionless. His eyes widening in shock. That couldn’t be a good sign, but Charlotte found herself forging on relentlessly. “I know I have the shittiest timing ever, and that we haven’t known one another for that long. That you don’t understand why I am the way I am and I don’t understand you...but I’m willing to accept that. Work on it, even.” By this point, only about three feet of space remained between them. “I just...I can’t stand seeing you in pain, and I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere. This doesn’t have to end. I just... I want to be here for you, in whatever way you may need me.”

  Vladimir’s expression was somewhere between grief and incredulity, and even as he opened his mouth to answer her, she beat him to the punch. “I’m not asking for some grandiose profession from you. That’s not what I want. We’re adults, remember?” Her gut twisted and she forced the lump that rose in her throat back down where it belonged. “I just...I don’t want there to be any question. If I’m staying with you, it’s not because of physical chemistry. It’s not because you’re my boss and I feel obligated. It’s because of you. I want you. I love-”

  Vladimir covered her mouth with two fingers, his eyes searching hers. All the
shock had melted away and now there was only confusion with an edge of pain. For a long moment, he contemplated her, and she him.

  And then he spoke. “I have a lot on my plate right now. Some days it’s a struggle to just keep my thoughts straight and I can’t...I just...not now. I can’t say what will happen a month from now...or a year. But right now…”

  Before he could finish, Charlotte was enfolding him in her embrace, pressing as close as she could to indulge in his scent and the feel of his body against hers. “That’s fine.” She reassured him, breathing the words low against his chest. “That’s fine.”

  And, somehow, it was.

  It wasn’t a no...and No was what she most feared. Not now was different. She could wait. Charlotte had waited all her life.

  All at once, Vladimir’s hands were cupping her face, turning it upward so that his mouth could cover hers. His kiss was hungry, desperate - as if he feared she’d evaporate into thin air.

  But Charlotte wasn’t going anywhere. Ever.

  Chapter 12 - Mistakes

  A week and a half of treatment left Jackson Kensley completely undaunted. Weak, queasy and tired, but he was still going strong. Doctors revealed that he was responding about as well as they might have hoped, and so, Vladimir began the preparations to head back to LA.

  There was nothing more he could do. If need be, he could be on a plane back to New York with thirty minutes notice; and besides that...he wouldn’t be alone in LA.

  Charlotte would be with him. Not only as his colleague, or as an architect...but as his woman.

  Frankly, Vladimir’s mind was still blown by her admission. Charlotte always shot from the hip, her conversation quick and to the point. But for her to tell him that she loved him…

  After all he had done, he hardly deserved it. He had questioned her as an artist. Taken advantage of her, forced her to hide what was between them. But when they returned to LA, that would all change.