A Burglar Caught by a Skeleton & Other Singular Tales from the Victorian Press

by Clay, Jeremy

  As it was, the spectators contented themselves by hooting at the two in the garden till the match terminated.

  The Derby Daily Telegraph, April 18, 1887

  Extraordinary Cricket Craze.

  The Game to be Prohibited

  A cricket mania has broken out in the sunny isles of the Pacific. ‘Cricket,’ writes a colonial newspaper correspondent from Samoa, ‘which was introduced here a few years ago by some of the more energetic British residents, has now become a nuisance, owing to the manner in which it is played by the natives.

  ‘It is no uncommon thing to see a game being played in which the players number from 80 to 150 a side, and which lasts for ten days or a fortnight.

  ‘The natives have become so crazy over cricket that they neglect their food crops during the whole of the season, and the consequence is that during a great part of the year they are in a state of poverty.’

  King Malietoa is now seriously considering the absolute prohibition of our national game within his dominions.

  The Citizen, Gloucester, June 16, 1890

  Cricket Match on the Ice

  Teams representing the respective cricket clubs of Saddington and Kibworth, two villages just outside Market Harborough, met in an extremely novel encounter on Saddington Reservoir, and an amusing cricket match on ice ended in a draw.

  The match was played on skates, and the ice being in splendid condition the ‘leather hunting’ was very considerable and many ‘boundaries’ were scored.

  Saddington went in first, and although their first man was dismissed by the first ball delivered the team was not disposed of till 205 (28 extras) had been compiled. Smith, a Kibworth bowler, took four wickets in one over. The first two Kibworth men scored 95 without being separated, but at this point of the game the match was declared drawn, owing to the failing light.

  The Illustrated Police News, January 14, 1893

  Golfer Creates a Panic

  One of the most remarkable golf matches on record took place in the streets of Pittsburgh on Saturday, says a New York correspondent.

  Several members of the Alleghany Club wagered four thousand dollars that a golf ball could be driven over four miles and a half of the city streets in 150 strokes.

  William Patten, a well-known player, was selected to make the test. The course was from the Alleghany Club to the Pittsburgh clubhouse. The first mile was the hardest to cover, fifty strokes being required.

  Patten finally sent a ball through the bedroom window of a prominent citizen, and caused a great disturbance. Another went through the window of a tramway car, and created a panic among the passengers.

  The entire four miles and a half were finally covered in 119 strokes. Patten finished by landing a ball through the window of the Pittsburgh clubhouse, and still had 31 strokes to spare. Three balls were lost, three clubs were broken, and about £100 worth of damage was done.

  The Falkirk Herald and Midland Counties Journal, July 28, 1900

  Singular Prize Fight

  A prize fight between a man with one arm and another with one eye took place near Cossington, a secluded part of Leicestershire, on Sunday evening week, in the presence of a large number of spectators, who arrived in sections.

  The fight lasted one hour and forty-five minutes, and was of a most determined nature. The one-eyed man had his eye so damaged that at last he could not see, and the one-armed man, who was also severely punished, was declared the victor. The stakes were £10. The principals are known to the police.

  The Illustrated Police News, May 15, 1886

  A Human Skull for a Football

  A curious spectacle has been witnessed in a dissenting graveyard in Heywood this week. A wall in that town, which has for at least two generations served for a fence to the Wesleyan graveyard, was recently blown down, leaving the soil of the graveyard much exposed.

  The spot has been used latterly as a playground by children, and on Saturday a number of boys were playing football with what they thought an excellent substitute for a ball.

  After diverting themselves for a while, one of the youngsters took hold of the supposed ball, and was terribly frightened on seeing human teeth protruding.

  The alarm of the boy attracted a number of men who were working a few yards away, and the substitute for the football was found to be a human skull, which had evidently been washed out of a disturbed grave by the recent heavy rains. It was taken possession of by the proper authorities.

  The Manchester Evening News, November 25, 1882

  A Dog in the Football Field

  During the match at Aston Lower Grounds on Saturday, between the Aston Villa and West Bromwich Albion, for the Birmingham Cup, an unpleasant incident occurred.

  When the game was at its height a tiny white terrier suddenly appeared on the field, and joined in the chase after the ball. He was evidently an enthusiastic devotee of the game. He was very keen on the ball, and had a fine turn of speed on the heavy ground. Wherever the ball went the little terrier followed helter skelter, following every pass, and rushing between the legs of the players to roll over the ball, eagerly biting its smooth sides, while the thousands of spectators roared with merriment and delight. Green captured the dog, and threw it gently on to the heads of the spectators, from whence it scrambled down outside.

  It was not to be deprived of its sport that way, for it was soon on the field again. It didn’t even appeal to the referee for a foul, but at once joined in the game, and led a wild rush of the Albion forwards for the Villa goal.

  It of course greatly hampered the game, and the referee ought to have stopped play until it was removed. At last Burton captured it, and abandoning the game in the kindness of his heart, for the little animal was in constant danger, rushed off with it in his arms towards the dressing-rooms. He had not gone many yards when he met Woodhall coming down the right wing with the ball at his toe. Burton bravely tried to tackle the Albion player with the dog still in his arms, but was at last obliged to drop the dog and devote his undivided attention to Woodhall.

  The ball soon went to the Albion backs with doggie after it in full chase, but its football career was over, for one of the Albion backs, meeting it on its way to the ball, gave it a brutal kick, and poor little doggie turned up his legs and lay stiff and still on the damp turf.

  Everybody thought it was killed, and the roars of laughter with which the antics of the little fellow had been watched changed into something like a groan of horror, and then into a storm of hisses. Two men ran into the field and carried the dog off, and laid him outside the line of play. There was a cheer all round the ground when at last he wagged his tail.

  Supplement to the Leicester Chronicle and Leicestershire Mercury, March 10, 1888

  Misconduct of the English Football Players

  On Monday evening, a disgraceful scene was witnessed at the Waverley Station, Edinburgh, where the English football players, who took part in the international match, assembled preparatory to leaving the city by the 10.40pm train for the south.

  It was evident from the shouting and bawling, and generally boisterous conduct of some of the party, that they had been indulging too freely in strong drink.

  The railway officials were unwilling to interfere so long as they confined themselves simply to shouting; but they were forced to do so when one of the Englishmen gave an engine driver a blow on the breast, which sent him reeling against a carriage.

  The engine-driver, generously enough, did not press any charge against his assailant, and the players were hustled into a carriage, and the doors locked upon them. Just before the starting of the train, however, one of them got out and struck a railway policeman.

  The policeman attempted to detain him, but two of the others, coming to their comrade’s assistance, gave the officer some rough treatment.

  While the party of four were struggling, the train moved off, leaving the three Englishmen in the custody of the railway officials who came to the policeman’s assistance.

  The
y struggled violently to free themselves, kicking and using their sticks in a savage manner. The policeman received a severe kick while he was lying on the ground, which nearly broke the bridge of his nose.

  The prisoners, whose names are Reginald Hasley Burkett, Henry James Graham, and William Gordon, were taken to the Police Office, but were liberated on finding each £2 bail for their re-appearance.

  When the case was called in the Police Court, yesterday, Mr Lanton stated that delay for a week had been asked, and as he had no objections Sheriff Hallard agreed to an adjournment. The case will therefore come before the court again next Wednesday.

  The Manchester Evening News, March 11, 1875

  Amusing Incident at Rock Ferry

  Whilst the football match Cheshire Lines v. South Tranmere Y.M.F.S. was in progress last Saturday, a young bullock became very frisky on seeing the players running about in their variegated jerseys.

  The bullock rushed in amongst the players, and finally espying Ashton, the Friendlies goalkeeper, between the posts, charged him some distance away, and whilst the goal was left undefended the ‘Linesmen’ scored a goal, and no whistle being sounded the point was counted.

  The Cheshire Observer, October 3, 1891

  A Curious Race

  In Brooklyn under the auspices of the ‘New York World,’ a remarkable race recently took place.

  The competitors were an elephant, a camel, a horse, a bicycle, and an autocar. The elephant and camel, exhibition animals were ridden by their keepers, the horse was ridden by a famous horseman, and the bicyclist was a sprint rider, and the autocar was driven by an expert.

  The elephant and camel were both given a start of half a mile from the autocar, which was given an eighth of a mile by the horse and bicycle, the course being three miles. The elephant proved the victor, winning in 6min. 20sec., with the bicycle second, and the autocar third.

  The Midland Daily Telegraph, Coventry, May 22, 1899

  Exciting Scene at a Football Match

  An extraordinary and exciting scene was witnessed on Christmas afternoon, on the Blackburn Rovers’ football ground at Ewood.

  The Rovers were advertised to play the Darwen men, and as there has always been a great deal of rivalry between the teams quite 5,000 spectators paid a double admission fee, a large majority of them coming from Darwen.

  The sudden thaw of Christmas Eve was followed by a sharp frost, and when the time announced for play arrived the field was literally a sheet of ice, on which it was impossible to walk with safety.

  Under these circumstances, the committee of the Rovers, in view of the fact that they had next day to play Wolverhampton Wanderers, sent out their second team. The Darwen players followed on the field, but as soon as the spectators detected the composition of the Rovers’ team there were angry shouts from the Darwen supporters, culminating in an uproarious command to their men to retire.

  After a consultation, Marsden, the Darwen captain, led his men back to the dressing-room amid tumultuous cheering. After a short pause the Darwen second string appeared on the field, but at this point a mob of spectators got over the barriers, and over-ran the field, finally surrounding the dressing-rooms in a very threatening manner.

  The force of police on the ground was very small, and utterly unable to cope with the mob, many of whom were seen to pick up large boulder stones. The squabbling among the ‘authorities’ of the clubs continued for some time, and then it was announced that the match was abandoned, and that spectators would receive tickets for another match.

  A large number availed themselves of this intimation and left the ground, but some 2,000 remained, and after smashing the window of the dressing-room, rushed to the goal posts which they tore down and smashed to fragments. They then invaded the grand stand, and stripping the seats of the carpet covering, carried them into the enclosure, and cut them to shreds.

  The huge flag which floated over the entrance gates was also torn down and destroyed. Mr Mark Russell, one of the Rovers’ committee, was recognised and savagely assaulted, and a ground man coming to his rescue, received a severe kick on the ankle. Mr T. Eastwood, secretary of the East Lancashire Cricket Club, was mistaken for an official, and was threatened by a number of roughs, although he explained that he was not connected with the club.

  Many other serious cases of assault took place, and it was two hours before the crowd thinned down enough to enable the police to clear the ground and release the besieged officials and players. The gate receipts, which would amount to a very heavy sum, were conveyed to a place of safety as soon as matters looked threatening.

  No such scene has been witnessed on the Blackburn Rovers’ ground since the memorable occasion, nine years ago, when a dispute between Suter, of the Rovers, and Marshall, of Darwen, caused wild disorder.

  The Western Mail, Cardiff, December 29, 1890

  Extraordinary Golf Incident

  While the members of a Kenilworth Golf Club were playing a mixed four on Saturday a remarkable incident took place.

  One of the players, Mr G.W. Hume, made a fine drive, the ball when in mid-air striking a chaffinch and cutting its head completely off. Such an incident as this, it is believed, has never previously happened in connection with the history of the game.

  The Daily Mail, Hull, April 13, 1897

  INVENTIONS

  Preface

  James Boyle had a lightbulb moment. A nifty solution to one of the niggles of the age. To that one part inspiration he added the nine parts perspiration the old adage demands, sketched out the technical details and strode off purposefully to make it all official.

  The result was US patent number 556248: a saluting hat designed to take the inconvenience out of greeting passing ladies.

  Here’s how it worked, according to the Middlesbrough Daily Gazette of April 1896. ‘When the wearer bows the swinging of a pivoted weight block pushes a rod whereby a spring is released and an arm is operated to raise a bow piece to which the edges …’ Oh, it tipped itself when you bowed; let’s just leave it at that.

  Why would you need such a thing? Because a Victorian gentleman was bedevilled by etiquette that required him to tip his hat at each gentlewoman he encountered. Not such a problem at a chap’s club; rather draining at a la-di-da do.

  ‘Much valuable energy is utilized in tipping the hat repeatedly and my device will relieve one of it and at once cause the hat to be lifted from the head in a natural manner’, said Boyle’s patent. Necessity may be the mother of invention, as Agatha Christie sort-of once said, but indolence is its dad.

  And if not indolence, then delusion. This may have been a golden age of invention, when scientists, engineers, clergymen and workshop-dabblers delivered breakthrough after breakthrough, but for every Edison, Marconi or Nobel, there were Boyles aplenty. Patents were filed for luminous ghosts to scare off grave-robbers, for ploughs with cannon attachments for blasting crows, for food-graters-cum-fly-traps and for pasteboard cats coated in phosphorous to terrify mice.

  There was one for a tapeworm fish hook too. ‘That speaks for itself’, sniffed the Derby Daily Telegraph in March 1890. But in case it doesn’t, the uncomfortable details are on page 136.

  A Victim to His Own Invention

  America is ever supplying us with famous stories, and that of Samuel Wardell, of Flatbush, U.S., ranks amongst the number.

  Wardell lived alone. For about two years he had been a lamplighter. In order to get up at five in the morning he was in the habit of putting a 10lb stone on the shelf, connected by a wire with an alarm clock.

  When the alarm struck the wire pulled a catch which let the shelf fall, and the stone then fell on the floor with a big thump. The noise would awaken Wardell, who would jump up and run off to put out the lamps.

  On Christmas Eve he invited about 30 young men of the town to supper. As Samuel only had one room in the house, he had removed all his furniture into the cellar. After the company had left he carried back his bedstead into the room, and, being tired, did not
pay particular attention where he placed it, and worse than all, forgot all about his clock.

  It happened that when he stretched himself on the bed his head was directly under the shelf. When the alarm went off at five o’clock the shelf dropped, and the stone fell on Wardell’s head, crushing the skull. He was subsequently discovered by a friend, and was taken to the hospital, where he died.

  The Citizen, Gloucester, January 19, 1886

  An Eccentric Inventor’s Folly

  A startling incident occurred at New Bedford on the night of the Presidential election. Mr Patrick Cunningham, one of the richest men in the town, who recently invented an automobile torpedo, which has been adopted by the Government, got very drunk on election night, and declared he would celebrate the event.

  He accordingly went to his foundry, selected a section of his torpedo, consisting of an inner and an outer steel shell, conical in shape, loaded with 125lb of slow-burning powder tightly packed, the whole weighing some 500lb, and conveyed it upon a waggon to the corner of two main streets.

  Placing the torpedo in the middle of the street he lighted it, and the machine at once started down the street at a terrific pace, flying about 1ft above the surface of the ground.

  In its progress the torpedo collided with a tree, and glancing across the street struck the front of the market building sideways. The building at once collapsed.