Summer on Main Street
Page 58
The men seemed excited by that answer, and Brioney shook her head.
“Do you want me to start dinner?
“We’re going to grill.”
She hooked her thumb toward the window. “It’s raining.”
“We’re army. We don’t give a—” Fitz broke off, looking toward the doorway, where Joy had appeared.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, sweetie.” Her heart ached a little. She hadn’t spent much time with Joy since Thanksgiving, hadn’t done much more than tuck her in at night. “You and Jess have a nice girls’ day?” The two had gone into Rockport shopping. Brioney could have probably gotten the day off to go with them, but didn’t want to be around her sister much right now.
Joy held up a hand. “We got our nails done.”
Another tug at her heart as she looked closely at nails that were painted like Rudolph. Maybe a little early for Christmas nails, but she didn’t say anything. “Those are cute. Where’s Jess?”
Joy lifted a shoulder. “She left a little while ago, but didn’t say where she was going.”
“Come on in the kitchen and we’ll see what we can make to go with whatever these guys are grilling.”
Joy followed her and sat at the breakfast bar while Brioney went through the pantry.
“So I was thinking,” Joy said. “Since you and Blue aren’t together anymore, that maybe you can think about going to Houston for Christmas?”
Brioney closed the pantry door and leaned her head against it. “Blue wasn’t the only reason I didn’t want to go, Joy. We’ve talked about this.” And she didn’t have the resources to hold onto her patience for another go-round.
“I know, but he was the reason you didn’t want to get back with Dad. You said you wanted to see what happened between you and Blue, right?”
Brioney sighed, disappointed that her daughter wasn’t intuitive enough to see that she was hurting. “Sweetheart, I really don’t want to talk about it this weekend, okay? We have company and I’m tired, and I’ll think about it later.” She knew by saying that, she was leaving the door open for another discussion, but right now, that seemed the easier option than to tell her little girl that hell would freeze over before she went to Houston with Cam.
She opened the pantry door again, and pulled out a box of brownies. “Why don’t you mix these up for Fitz’s friends?”
“Can I lick the bowl?”
More than almost anything right now, Brioney wanted to pour chocolate batter down her throat, but she nodded. “You can lick the bowl.”
Jess returned from God-knew-where just as Fitz walked through the back door with the platter of hamburger patties. Her greeting to the men made it clear she’d met them before she took off, and she was better at remembering their names than Brioney was.
“Hey, Sis, how was work?” she asked as she took a place at the table.
“Same as it always is.”
“Hard work, as I remember.” Jess had worked with her and Mercedes before she’d gone off to college. “I mean, you’ve worked hard enough. You need to find someone who’ll take care of you.”
“I don’t want anyone to take care of me.” She shifted on her chair, uncomfortable with the conversation in front of Fitz’s friends. “That’s why I’ve been going to school.”
“And she’s going to work for me, and she’ll be taken care of just fine,” Fitz said.
“But still working hard,” Jess said.
“Don’t you work hard?” Brioney countered.
“Well, sure, but not physically, and there are perks.”
“I don’t mind working for what I want,” Brioney said. “And it’s a good lesson for Joy to learn.”
“Right, but aren’t you tired living hand-to-mouth? You weren’t exactly looking to get out of that life, with Blue.”
God, she couldn’t believe Jess was pursuing the topic when they had company.
“Actually,” Fitz said, around a mouthful of burger, “Turns out Blue does pretty well.”
“What?” Jess turned to her brother, her smile frozen.
“I mean, if he and Brioney got together, he could take care of her all right.”
“Are you friends now?”
Fitz dipped his head. “He’s been coming by the motel and helping out.”
Why did Brioney get the feeling he wasn’t telling her something?
“He’s a good guy,” Fitz went on. “I’m sorry he hurt you, Jess. But he’s a good guy.”
Brioney’s breath hitched as she looked at her brother. Was someone on her side, finally?
*****
Jess had decided to stay a few extra days because she had some vacation days to burn before the end of the year, and the legislature was not in session, so she said she’d pick up Joy from school all week, since Brioney had switched to the day shift. Going home straight after work, without stressing over getting to the school pick-up in time, was nice. But Brioney was surprised when her daughter popped out of the dining room chair and hugged her waist tightly. Brioney dropped her hand to the top of her daughter’s head and looked from Joy to Jess, who sat at the table, a sad smile playing on her lips.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I never knew.”
“Never knew what?”
“Never knew how he treated you.”
“How who treated me?” She put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders and eased her back to look into her face.
“Dad, when he found out you were pregnant. I never knew he was so mean to you, and Grandma and Grandpa, too.”
A chill went through her. “What are you talking about?” She looked at Jess, who was looking pleased with herself. “What did you tell her?”
“She was upset that you don’t want to go to Houston for Christmas, so I thought I’d explain to her why.”
Keeping one hand on her daughter’s shoulder, she pushed her other through her hair, loosening it from its messy knot. “There’s a reason I didn’t tell her that part of our history.”
“I can’t believe he was so mean to you, and didn’t want to believe you. You told me he loved you.”
“I told you I loved him,” Brioney corrected. “And I didn’t tell you the rest because I didn’t want you to think badly of him. I didn’t want his mistakes to get in the way of your relationship with him. He was young and scared.”
“So were you,” Jess said. “And you handled it.”
“He came around when it was important for him to. But yes, that’s why I don’t want to go to Houston and spend time with your grandparents. Their impression of me hasn’t changed, and I haven’t quite forgiven them. But I don’t want that to come in the way of your relationship with them. They’ve always been there for you.”
Joy’s brown eyes filled with tears and her lower lip quivered. “I’m sorry I was such a brat about wanting you and Dad to get back together, and I was mean to Blue. I didn’t know how much Dad had hurt you.”
“It was a long time ago, and we’re different people now.” She included Jess in this. “I’m happy he’s a part of your life, but I don’t need him in mine.”
But she savored the hugs her daughter gave her the rest of the night.
*****
God, Brioney couldn’t get a minute alone to think. She hadn’t had time to deconstruct all the things that had passed between her and Blue.
She was off on Wednesday, so while Jess was still asleep, Brioney grabbed her keys and her phone and headed down to the seawall.
The beach was mostly abandoned this time of day, especially since the sky was gray, blending in with the churning ocean. The waves were high, and she wondered if Blue was out on the water. She could almost feel the buck and dip of the surfboard beneath her, and straightened when she saw a surfer out on the waves. But no, not a surfer, just a piece of driftwood tossed about on the water. She slumped, disappointed, and hopped off the seawall and onto the soft sand below. She walked down the beach a bit, letting the roar of the water wash away her thoughts, leaving only her feelings
behind. And she ached. Oh, she ached for Blue, ached to hear his voice, to look into his gentle eyes, to feel his arms around her. She bent to pick up a leopard print shell and let the edge bite into her skin as she recalled feeling the rumble of Blue’s voice as he told her about it.
“Brioney.”
She looked up, and for a moment thought she was seeing things again. But no, Blue was walking toward her, hands in the pockets of his loose-fitting cargos, his button-down shirt fluttering in the wind. She braced her feet in the sand and faced him.
“Mind if we walk a bit?” he asked, his smile a shadow of its usual brilliance.
She turned to fall into step beside him. “I’m sorry, Blue.”
“I shouldn’t have done that to you the other night, Bri. Put you on the spot like that, especially in front of Jess. I was just…I was wrong to test you, to see if you felt the same.”
“And then you left.”
“Ah.” He looked straight ahead, scrubbing his hand down his face. “Not proud of that. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.” She wanted to lean into his side, a gesture she’d become so accustomed to in such a short time, that it seemed alien not to do it, to hold herself away from him. “I really—Jess is usually more rational than emotional. I thought she would understand.”
“Yeah, I guess you can’t underestimate six years.”
They walked together a bit longer, Blue swerving into her path when the waves came in a little closer.
“Mom still wants you to bring Joy out, whenever you like. I don’t have to be there, if that makes you uncomfortable.”
She couldn’t tell him that the possibility of his presence made the invitation more appealing. “We’re living on the same island, Blue. We’re going to have to deal with seeing each other around.”
“I don’t mind.”
She smiled, the gesture feeling foreign, though she knew it hadn’t been that long since she smiled. “I don’t mind, either.”
He turned to her. “What are we doing, Bri? Letting someone else make decisions for us?”
“Someone who matters to me. Someone I can’t hurt. I’ll own the decision. It doesn’t have to be hers, or yours, or anyone else’s. I’ll live with it to keep her in my life, to keep her trust. I’m sorry that I have to choose, I am. I—I love you. But we can’t do this.”
The hard-won peace she’d found out here disappeared, and this time, she was the one to flee.
*****
“I really don’t want to play tonight,” Brioney said to Jess, who sat on the edge of her bed.
“Oh, come on. It’s my last weekend here, and last time I really didn’t get to enjoy listening to you.”
“You probably won’t enjoy it again this week, either. Really, Jess. I don’t want to go.” She didn’t want to deal with the possibility of Blue being there, especially not with Jess also in the audience.
“Mom, you know you always feel better when you sing. And Jess said I could go tonight. I haven’t heard you sing in a long time,” Joy chimed in from the closet. “Look. Wear this.” She pulled out a long purple skirt with sparkles. “You look so pretty in this.”
Brioney shook her head. “Part of the pleasure I had in singing at The Wharf was seeing Blue. It’s not going to be the same.”
“Oh, come on. Fitz is taking the guys. He wants to show you off.”
“Great, no pressure.” But for Fitz, she’d do it. She pushed herself off the bed and took the skirt from Joy, as Joy flipped through her closet for the black shirt she always wore with it. “I need to change my strings before I go.”
She was surprised when she walked into The Wharf to see Fitz, his friends and Brandon sitting at a table, and Mercedes was at the bar. No Blue, so she was grateful for that. Joy and Jess hurried over to join the group at the table as Brioney stepped up on stage. She met Sal’s questioning look with a shrug, set up the microphone and started playing.
She was watching her family and Fitz’s friends as she sang her favorite Stevie Nicks song, and didn’t notice Blue had slipped in until a loud group walked through the door and drew her attention to the bar.
He wasn’t sitting in his usual place because Mercedes was there, but he sat a few seats down, watching her. She was pleased to see he didn’t look as drawn as he had the other day on the beach, and his expression softened to something like a smile when she made eye contact.
She was aware of someone near the stage, and looked down to see her sister with her notebook. Okay, weird, because she hadn’t brought her notebook, hadn’t wanted to deal with requests because she didn’t think she could remember any song she didn’t play regularly. Jess set the book at her feet and waited. Brioney finally looked at her. Jess widened her eyes and motioned toward the book. Brioney shook her head, so Jess widened her eyes further and motioned more vehemently toward the book. Brioney jerked her head in the direction of the table, instructing her sister to go back with the others. Jess made a sound of frustration that carried over the microphone, but finally turned and flounced off.
Brioney took a break after a couple more songs, but didn’t want to leave the stage just yet. She didn’t feel comfortable approaching the bar where Blue sat, or the table where her family sat.
But she had to admit that the curiosity about what Jess had written was getting the better of her, so she picked up the notebook. She read the title twice, and looked at her sister, who smiled and nodded to Blue, then back to the notebook.
Brioney lifted her hand to the side of her head, trying to reason out what was going on. Only one person knew that answer, so she slipped off the stage and motioned her sister to the back of the bar. She got the feeling everyone was watching anyway.
“What the hell, Jess? I can’t sing this.”
“I’ve heard you sing it before.”
“Yes, but…not now.”
“Because of Blue.”
“Yes, because of Blue,” she snapped. Damn, she was tired of holding back her emotions around her sister, to spare her feelings.
“That’s why I want you to sing it.”
“You are not making any sense.”
“I want you to sing it to Blue.”
“I think you’re confused about what this song is about.”
“I know what it’s about. Look, I was wrong.”
“What?” Maybe she wasn’t hearing right over the music that Sal turned on when she was on her break.
“I was wrong about you and Blue. I just reacted based on how I felt, and I was wrong. I hadn’t seen you together, and after seeing you on the beach the other day—”
“What do you mean, after seeing us on the beach the other day?”
“The other day, when you left the house? You seemed so sad, and I followed you, wanting to make you feel better, but then you seemed like you wanted to be alone, and then Blue was there. I hadn’t seen you together, and I didn’t…” Jess looked away, blinking, but then turned back, a sad smile playing over her lips. “I didn’t know you really loved him.”
“I didn’t think I should tell you before I told him.”
“I just…I just want you to know that I’m not going to stand in your way, if you want to be together, if you want to see what happens.” She leaned forward and kissed Brioney’s cheek. “Go sing to your guy.”
Brioney couldn’t wrap her head around what her sister was saying. Jess gave her a push toward the stage. Blue met her gaze and frowned at her, but she didn’t stop to explain. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it now, before she lost her nerve.
“I know that was a short break,” she said into the microphone as Sal jolted to turn off the music playing over the restaurant speakers. “I had a special request, and I’m going to turn it into a dedication, which I don’t usually do.” She turned her gaze to Blue, who straightened on his bar stool. “Have you ever had someone in your life who had always been there, and then, one day you look at him, and everything has changed? And you take that chance, you jump into his arms, and y
ou feel…you feel like you’re flying? And then something happens and he’s not there anymore, you feel this emptiness, this hole? And you think that hole can only be filled by one thing, by bringing him back into your life and hoping he’ll forgive you? Yeah.” She pressed her fingers into the frets when she couldn’t read any reaction on his face. “That.”
She lifted her chin as she strummed the first chords, and leaned into the microphone to croon the song about longing, love, and a happy ending. Blue rose from his barstool and approached the stage, where he stopped, watching, head tilted, eyes hopeful. Her own eyes clouded with tears, but her voice remained clear as she proclaimed her love through the song. When she strummed the last chord, she set her guitar in the stand and stood. She stepped to the edge of the stage and waited, her heart thudding high in her chest, so that she was sure he could see it, so that everyone in the restaurant could hear it.
And then he held out his hands to her and she did just as she’d sung, she threw herself into his arms, trusting him to catch her.
He did, wrapping her in his strong arms, holding her against him as she bent her head to his shoulder, breathing him in, savoring his embrace.
“Are you sure?” he asked into her neck.
“I love you,” she said, loosening her arms just enough to lean back to look into his eyes. “I love you and I want to be with you. I’m sorry I let Jess come between us. Can you forgive me?”
“For loving your sister?” He pushed her hair back from her face. “I can.” He bent his head to kiss her, softly at first, then deeper.
Cheers went up around them, then Fitz’s voice cut in.
“Hey now.”
Remembering that her daughter was also here—and now she knew why—Brioney pulled back, but he caught her around the waist and hauled her back against him.
“I heard what you had to say, now it’s my turn.”
Her heart thundered even more, and this time, she knew he felt it.
“You are a fascinating—” She scoffed, and he put his finger over her lips. “Fascinating,” he said again. “Generous, loving woman. I want you and Joy in my life more than I have ever wanted anything. I love you, Brioney.” He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something else, but instead kissed her again, and this time the cheers didn’t pull them apart.