How Not To Shop

by Carmen Reid

'Good you get rid of him – but you decide to keep baby?'

  'My mum and dad helped me to make that decision,' Tina admitted.

  'Ya. Verrry kind,' Svetlana said and Annie was surprised to hear the note of softness in her voice. She'd never asked Svetlana anything about her own mother and father, but she would try to do it the next time she got a chance.

  'Are you going to look through Tina's wardrobe with her?' Finn wondered, when he was satisfied that he had all the footage he wanted of Tina with Svetlana and then Tina with Miss Marlise.

  Annie's reply was simple: 'No. No need. I'm going to find all sorts of sensible work outfits and all kinds of practical mum outfits and we don't want any of that, do we Tina?' She shot Tina a smile. 'The girl wants to get out. She needs to get out. C'mon, grab your coat, I know just the place for you. Bob and I are whisking you off to Topshop.'

  'How long has it been since you went shopping for yourself, sweetheart?' Annie asked as she watched Tina move around the brightly crammed rails, racks and shelves in one of Annie's favourite high street shops.

  Tina really did look like a girl let loose in a sweetie shop. Her eyes were wide and she hardly dared to put out her hands to touch things, in case she was told that she wasn't allowed to have them.

  Annie had once again been warned by Finn to keep the budget 'well below two hundred pounds if you can', but in this shop prices were low enough for that not to pose too much of a problem.

  While Tina looked with confused curiosity all around her, Annie got on with the business of pulling out pieces for the changing rooms.

  Looking at Tina's narrow hips and skinny legs, she guessed she was a 10 from the waist down, but a 12 on top. Annie's brief from Finn couldn't have been more clear: knockout dress or miniskirt and skimpy top, heels, big hair, full make-up. Ingredients to transform timid Tina into the bombshell Finn awaited.

  Busily, she began to load up her arms with short dresses sprinkled with sequins, netted skater skirts, strapless tops, lots of shine, juicy colours and delicious textures.

  Because the shop was busy, even on a weekday afternoon, the staff had obligingly cleared out the biggest style consultant's room for the filming session.

  To Annie, each new outfit seemed to work better on Tina than the last. Underneath the baggy tops and scarves she'd been hiding a great figure, slim-hipped and long-legged but with boobs on top that she was clearly a little shy about.

  'You need to learn to love those!' Annie insisted, hoicking her up into a corset top. 'That looks absolutely brilliant on you. I'm sorry, but you can't deny it.'

  She stood back to admire Tina in the tight black top, teeny pink puffball skirt, black sheeny tights and high patent shoes. There was no doubt that Finn was going to love this look, but Annie could tell that the problem was going to be convincing Tina. She was scrutinizing herself in the mirror with something close to a scowl on her face.

  'Let's ask Bob what he thinks,' Annie suggested. She pushed back the curtain and gestured for the cameraman to take a peek.

  'Unbelievable!' was his appreciative comment. 'You look amazing, Tina! I can hardly recognize you.'

  To Annie, he directed a thumbs-up and said, 'Finn is going to be very happy.'

  Then he hoisted the camera up to his face and began to film.

  But still Tina stood in front of the mirror on her long legs and scowled.

  'What's the matter?' Annie wondered. 'Is it too much of a change? Too much of a surprise? But you are such a great-looking girl. I can't help feeling that the world should know! You've been hiding yourself away for too long.'

  'It's just . . . it's just so . . . well, isn't it just a bit . . . obvious?' Tina asked finally. 'I mean,' she went on, 'miniskirt and boob tube and long hair and high heels. I mean . . . that's just too much.'

  As soon as Tina said it, Annie knew it was true. Well, of course it was true. Would she let Lana go out like this? No. And even though Tina was eight years older than Lana, it was still too much. Finn might like it. Finn might want to see this kind of over the top transformation on screen, but as Tina said: it was too much.

  Then came the kicker, which tugged at Annie's heartstrings and she knew she would have to respond to. 'It just isn't me,' Tina declared.

  'Well, you have to be you,' Annie decided, certain that if she could make Tina look fabulous on Tina's terms, it would work for Finn. 'Is there anything about this outfit you like?' she asked.

  Tina looked carefully. 'I like the top,' she said, surprising herself.

  She was right. The black sweetheart-shaped corset looked stunning with her pale skin and strong shoulders.

  'And I love the shoes.'

  'Oh yeah, I love the shoes too,' Annie had to admit. They were a shiny, liquid black with high heels and satiny laces.

  'Maybe, to tone it down, between the corset top and the shoes, maybe we should have slim satin trousers,' Annie suggested.

  'Trousers, yeah. Black?' Tina suggested.

  'Yeah, let's try black.'

  Tina scraped her hair back off her face and held it up for a moment.

  Annie admired Tina's pretty features and then spotted something she hadn't noticed before. An intricate tattoo of a rose at the nape of Tina's neck, the stem and the leaves curling out onto her shoulder.

  'Oh, look at that!' she exclaimed, 'that's really pretty, we should have that on show. Tina,' she scolded, 'you've kept all the best things about yourself hidden.'

  'Maybe that's the way I like it,' Tina said softly.

  Annie stepped in behind her for a closer look. She wasn't really a tattoo aficionado, but this was very well done. It had been delicately shaded to complement Tina's slim neck and pale skin.

  'Do you like it?' Tina asked.

  'It's lovely,' Annie told her.

  'I just had it done a month ago. The scabs have only just healed and . . .'

  'You're almost ready to show it off,' Annie guessed.

  'Yeah . . . my . . . friend designed it. And we took it to this tattoo artist.'

  'Very talented friend,' Annie said and was surprised when a pink blush spread up from Tina's neck to her face.

  'More than a friend?' Annie asked.

  'Maybe,' Tina admitted, casting her eyes down. 'Maybe she's more than a friend.' Then a surprised look crossed her face, as if she'd said more than she'd meant to.

  'Very interesting.' Annie gave her an encouraging smile; it wasn't the first time she'd heard someone's changing-room secrets. When you physically stripped people down, you seemed to get them to bare all sorts of truths about themselves.

  'So there are lots of interesting things going on in your life at the moment,' Annie said.

  'Yes . . . I suppose so.'

  'So, new Tina. New look. Definitely!' Annie said, then caught hold of Tina's hair and pulled it back off her face again. 'Have you ever thought about cutting your hair off?' she asked. 'You've got such a pretty face and then the rose would be on display whenever you wanted it to be.'

  'I'd love to cut my hair off!' Tina confirmed, 'I'm just not sure . . . where . . . or how . . .'

  'To begin? Leave it to me,' Annie insisted. 'Right, let's sort out the satin trousers and then get ourselves down to the swankiest salon in town. Bob!'

  There was a clunk as Bob, to Annie and Tina's surprise, pressed the pause button.

  'You filmed all that?' Tina asked.

  'Don't worry, they'll only use a bit of it,' he assured her. 'Annie, don't you think we should ask Finn about the haircut? I mean, he was wanting a very different look.'

  Annie thought about the sketch Finn had shown her. He'd actually drawn a sketch of how he wanted Tina to look after the makeover: the long hair, the legs, the heels and the boobs. She glanced again at Tina, who was currently looking just as Finn wanted her to look but not liking it at all.

  Annie knew just what Finn would say if she told him Tina was going to wear trousers and that they were taking her to a salon to have her hair cropped off. He would say NO.

  Wher
eas, if he saw the end result – the sleek head with the rose on top of the tight corset and shiny trousers – he would realize what a knockout Tina was without having to be so obvious. And Tina would just glow with looking exactly as she wanted to look.

  'It's going to be fine,' Annie told Bob, 'honestly. Tina will look amazing. We're going to knock Finn's socks off with this one. Remember Jody's hat? That wasn't in the schedule either and Finn loved it.'

  'Yeah, but this is . . . this is big. This isn't a hat, this is irreversible.'

  'Trust me,' Annie insisted.

  'Yeah!' Tina agreed, totally won over by Annie now.

  'Trust me,' Annie repeated.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Senior stylist Ben:

  Comic printed zip-up hoodie (Topman)

  White vest (Topman)

  White board shorts (Rip Curl)

  Flip-flops (Animal)

  Total est. cost: £110

  'Unbelievable!'

  They'd had to wait over an hour for the haircut appointment. Then, because it was being filmed, senior stylist Ben fussed and tweaked and trimmed for a full three hours before he declared himself happy with the cut.

  When the very first decisive slices were made and Tina could actually hear her heavy lengths of hair thwack against the ground, she'd had a sudden attack of nerves.

  'Going for emergency supplies!' Annie had declared and run out of the salon.

  She'd made it back fifteen minutes later with a half-bottle of champagne. Champagne was Annie's drug of choice, she applied it in most emergencies because it was comfortingly delicious, reassuringly expensive and, due to the bubbles, extremely fast acting.

  She knew some people swore by herbal droplets of Bach Rescue Remedy, but in Annie's opinion a glass or two of fizz was guaranteed to make people see any disaster in a rosier light.

  'Drink,' she'd ordered Tina, who was already down to an ear-length bob but once again looking excited, rather than terrified.

  'I think I might need some of that too,' Bob had told her quietly, when the camera was on pause.

  'Why?' Annie asked.

  'Finn's been on the line. Wants to know what's taking us so long. He's at the hotel, desperate to see the footage. At the rate this guy's cutting, it's going to be a late one.'

  By six o'clock, a full bottle of champagne had been downed in the salon and a party atmosphere was growing.

  Just as Annie had predicted, the haircut was a triumph. Tina looked stunning, amazing. Like a young and luscious Demi Moore, her thick dark fringe falling just above her eyes. Everyone wanted to know where she'd had her tattoo done and Ben was busy taking more Polaroids of her haircut and asking her to come in at the weekend and do a proper photo shoot for the salon window.

  Tina was laughing and crying with happiness. She insisted on phoning her mum to break the news – then got Julia on the phone so that she could tell her too.

  'Mummy's cut her hair really short. Yes – really short! A bit like a boy's, but quite girlie too,' Tina explained.

  And yes, it was a very wispy feminine cut, with Ben busy waxing and tweaking tendrils so that they formed tiny curls against her neck.

  'You have to get changed,' Annie urged Tina, 'show everyone the full look.' She pressed the Topshop bags into Tina's hands and ushered her into the salon's toilet.

  When Tina strutted out in her heels, tight trousers and corset, the small crowd of hairdressers cheered her on.

  'Unbelievable!' Ben told her, through the whoops and whistles of her new admirers.

  Annie had only once been backstage after a fashion show and this was just what it felt like in the Taylor Salon right now. As if something amazingly creative and successful had just been pulled off by team effort. Maybe for a moment or two, they were all allowing themselves to feel that a star had been born.

  Maybe she would only ever shine in her own little circle, but definitely, definitely Tina was suddenly star quality.

  Shyly Tina approached Annie.

  'Shoulders back,' Annie reminded her, 'head up, strut your stuff.'

  Even Annie could hardly believe it was the same girl. The shy, baggy, self-contained person she'd met this morning, who'd forgotten how to dress up, who'd not been out for years – let alone come out . . .

  She was being revealed. The layers and the hair had been stripped away and the new Tina was emerging from her cocoon.

  Tina stretched out her arms and wrapped them round Annie.

  Annie hugged her fiercely back. 'Way to go, girl!' she told her. 'You just show them. Knock 'em dead, ladykiller.'

  This elicited a shriek of nervy excitement.

  Bob busied himself capturing Tina from every angle. Finally he felt he'd done enough and that it was time to pack up, drop Tina back at home and get the footage over to Finn. Another text from the producer/director had come in asking what time he thought he might be at the hotel.

  'I'm nervous,' Bob told Annie once again as they buckled themselves back into the estate car for the journey to the hotel.

  'Don't be silly,' she assured him. 'Look at the reaction Tina got from everybody. Even her mum!'

  'Yeah, but it's off the script, Annie,' Bob said heavily. 'And that is a dangerous place to be.'

  Chapter Eighteen

  Annie unwinds:

  Unwrapped wrap dress (Diane von Furstenberg, via eBay)

  Hold-ups on floor (Pretty Polly)

  Undone eyes (Quickies eye make-up remover pads)

  Undone hair (model's own)

  Total est. cost: £360

  'Cream-crackered, babes.'

  Annie's room at the Novotel in Birmingham was cramped, to say the least. In fact, just opening her bag and taking out her make-up seemed to have caused major disarray.

  Feeling, all of a sudden, very worn out by the busy day she'd had, Annie slid open her mobile, lay back on the bed and phoned home.

  'Hey you,' Ed greeted her softly from the other end of the line, 'you've had a long day.'

  'Yeah,' she admitted and she listened hard. As well as his voice, she could hear all the clatter and chatter of her home in the background and suddenly she wished she was there and not here in this strange little brown and beige box in the heart of an unfamiliar city.

  'You sound tired,' Ed said once she'd given him an edited highlights version of her day.

  'Cream-crackered, babes,' she replied, trying to stifle a yawn. 'What are you guys up to?'

  'Busy, busy,' Ed assured her. 'We've had supper, we've tidied up and now we're moving on to cupboard clearing.'

  'Huh? That's very unlike you!'

  'Yeah well, Owen's got us all on a clearout for charity drive. All our old junk is being hunted out, rounded up and taken to the school for a big pick-up by our dedicated activist.'

  'Very impressive,' Annie had to admit, 'but if anyone goes near anything of mine they will get their hands chopped off. Is that clear?'

  'Yes my darling, we all know how very charitable you are with your prized possessions. Oh Annie,' he added, 'before I forget, please give your mum a call. I think she might need a bit of a word.'