Upper Hand (Cedar Tree Book 5)

by Freya Barker

  I’m surprised at the pang of sympathy I feel for him. I should be laughing at the cheater being cheated, but all I can bring myself to feel is a deep sadness. I had never mourned the loss of Luanne, but always felt the loss of my brother deeply. Jed had already lost me, granted by his own actions, but then lost the woman he loved, his money, and I assume his job, since I can’t imagine him going back to work after that.

  “I’m sorry that happened to you,” I say more sincerely than I’d anticipated feeling.

  “Don’t be,” is his quiet response. “It was exactly what needed to happen for me to see what a self-indulgent little prick I’d been all of my life. I’ll admit, I did go off the deep end a bit at the time, but that’s done.”

  I can sense he’s holding something back and I want to pry.

  “How long ago was this?”

  “Three years.”

  “Then why not come to me sooner? Why wait until I’m fucking hovering between life and death before you decide to show your face?” Some of my anger is slipping through, and now it’s my turn to get up and walk around a bit to regain control.

  “I was in jail until about six months ago.”

  “Say what?” The shock at his admission has me up in his face.

  “Took a page from your book and beat the crap out of my boss when I found them. He didn’t file charges though, until Luanne had her hands on the money, and then tried for attempted murder. That didn’t fly far, not with the time lapse, so assault it was. Luanne testified against me and I was given two years. I’d just been out a few months when Beth tracked me down.”

  “I didn’t know.” I’m stunned, actually. As much as the beating I gave Jed had shocked me, never having been a particularly violent person, Jed in the role of aggressor seemed even more out of place.

  “Had a lot of time to think in there, Clint. Not much else to do other than to try and steer clear of the other inmates. Or at least some of them.” His eyes cloud over and it’s on my lips to ask, but I don’t. Instead I make a tentative suggestion, seeing that he obviously hasn’t quite shed all the baggage he dragged out of jail with him.

  “Have you ever talked to Seb?”

  Don’t really know why I suddenly feel the need to play matchmaker, but I know Seb had been in jail for assault. I figure he’d know better than anyone what it’s like to be in there, and my brother might open up to him.

  He looks at me suspiciously. “The cook at the diner? Why would you want to know that?”

  “Because Seb did time for assault. I’m not quite sure how long he was in for, but if anyone would understand it would be him.”

  A little flare of interest shows on his face before he shuts it down.

  “We’ll see.” Is all he will give me. So be it. I just nod and a slightly uncomfortable silence stretches between us. It gives me time to think. I hate to admit that hearing his side helps. It doesn’t change anything but it does help. And for the first time I feel the old betrayal a little less. Suddenly I want to know about the crews, how the guys are doing, and the projects he’s got going. He spends the next half hour getting me up to speed, and it feels good to talk shop with him. Been a damn long time.

  “Well, I better get back to that crazy woman in Cortez,” he says getting up from the couch. I know he’s talking about Sarah Creemore, the woman Beth had seemed jealous of at the diner. I have to admit, she was a bit of an octopus, I never knew where her hands would turn up next. Had to be firm with that one to shut her down. She’d been bitchy ever since.

  “Still going at her place? I never thought that job would take this long.”

  Jed snorts.

  “It wouldn’t have if she hadn’t added new shit every week. She keeps asking about you too, and the kicker of it is; she does it while copping a feel from me.” The look of abject horror on his face makes laugh out loud. Slowly his face changes to something warmer—friendlier. “Good to hear that again.” He smiles and I shrug my shoulders a bit embarrassed.

  “I’d forgotten what a funny fuck you could be.”

  “Give me a call after you see the doc tomorrow, I’d like to know what he says.”

  Before he is all the way out the door I call after him.

  “Wait! Any way you could give me a ride to Beth’s place? I’m kinda stuck. Doc hasn’t cleared me for driving yet and you’ve got my wheels.”

  “Right, I should get my truck geared up. It’s parked at the motel. Won’t take much, just a proper lock box and a few tools, once you’re back on the job,” he says getting in the driver’s seat and leaving me to fend for myself. He knows I’d get pissed with fussing.

  “Does that mean you’re sticking around?” I’m not one for pussyfooting and strangely the thought of him staying in town feels good.

  “You saying I’d have a job?” he returns, making me chuckle.

  “After seeing what you’ve done with the plans for my house, I’d say chances are good.”

  “Then I’ll think about it.”

  “You do that.” My smile gets bigger with each retort. We used to do this all the time when we were younger, bickering for the sake of bickering. Kind of like what life with Beth is like. Suddenly I’m in a hurry to see her. Two raps on the dashboard gets Jed’s attention and with a hand motion I indicate for him to go.

  “About your house, I’m sorry—“

  “If you’re thinking of apologizing to me, reckon you can stop that shit right now,” I interrupt him, knowing I can’t just let it go at that. “Thank you for that by the way. Don’t know how you managed, but it’s damn near perfect. ‘Preciate it.”

  Jed’s quiet for a while, until we’re almost at Beth’s place.

  “Near perfect you say?”

  I find myself still laughing as he pulls up her drive.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “What are you doing here?”

  Takes me by surprise when I spot Clint relaxing in the swing on my front porch when I pull in the driveway. Everything about him looks casual, except the heat burning in his eyes. I just don’t know whether it is anger or something else, I’m sure as hell still angry. Climbing out of the car, I almost forget I have Max in his seat in the back. Jesus. If it wasn’t for his excited, “Big gah!” when he spots Clint through the window, I’d have easily left him alone in the car.

  With Max insisting on being set down so he can run for Clint, I’m left without my shield. It makes me edgy so I go in for the attack. Clint ignores my question and continues to listen to Max’s excited babble. His eyes never leave mine though.

  Leaving Max in his care, I return to the car to grab the groceries I’d stopped to get on my way home from Emma’s. The girls had picked up their interrogation over lunch again, until I finally caved and told them as much as I was comfortable with on how far Clint and my relationship had progressed. Gus and Neil’s arrival saved me from spilling every last detail. I was surprised Gus came right up to me and pulled me into a hug, not only apologizing, but also letting me know Clint was a mess after I left. I’d already started coming to the conclusion that once again, Clint had meant no real harm by keeping the information from me, and truth be told, we did get kind of busy last night. It wasn’t long after that I left.

  By the time I have my bags out of the trunk and on my porch, Max has made himself comfortable on Clint’s lap. The two of them look a bit cold and I feel guilty for making them wait. I step aside the moment I have the door open and gesture at him to come in.

  “Thanks,” he rumbles in his low voice as he passes me. His proximity is enough to have my resolve to go back to my own place wavering. I close my eyes and inhale deeply as he brushes by me. He smells so damn good; all man with a hint of wood shavings. I realize I’m still standing by the door with my eyes closed. When I look inside, Clint’s on the other side of the hallway, a knowing little smirk on his face and his arms folded over his chest. I notice for the first time that he doesn’t have his cane with him.

  “Hey, where’s the stick?”

>   “I’m done with it.”

  “Just like that? You don’t think you should wait to see what the doc says tomorrow?” God I’m starting to sound like one of those nagging women.

  “Don’t need the doc to tell me my stability is improving. I can feel it.”

  A cry from the kitchen stops me from being snarky, and I walk in there to find Max with the garbage can spilled over. It isn’t pretty, that garbage has been sitting in the can for a long-ass time. Last time I can recall emptying it was before Clint was attacked, and the lid hadn’t come off the short period I was here this morning. Otherwise, I would’ve hauled the whole damn thing off the back porch. Poor Max has an unidentifiable mess covering him and it smells like dead animals.

  “Damn, that reeks,” Clint offers as he walks in behind me.

  “No shit, Sherlock,” I snap muttering my favorite list of profanities under my breath, while trying to dig my grandson from under the mess.

  “Enough,” Clint suddenly barks, stopping Max’s crying instantly and startling me into silence. I grab Max and stand up.

  “Beth, take Max and give him a bath. I’ll clean up here.” His voice is stern and that has my hackles up right away.

  “I don’t think you—“ The rest of the words are caught in my throat when he steps in front of me, holds me in place with one hand and with the other reaches around and smacks my ass, making me jump.

  “There will be more of that if you keep being so damn stubborn.”

  I open my mouth in protest, but his growl is enough to make me turn on my heels and take Max straight up to the bathroom.

  Half an hour later, Max is in his own bed for a nap. When I walk into the kitchen, Clint just comes walking in from the sliding doors with what looks to be a clean garbage can dripping in his hand. The chill in the kitchen tells me he’s had the door open for a while. Can’t smell the stink as much anymore, thank God. The floor is clean and only a few of my groceries are sitting on the counter.

  “I didn’t know where you wanted those, I put the rest away.”

  Suddenly, the man who just thirty minutes ago was spanking my ass for speaking up, looks mighty sheepish with the offensive garbage can dangling between his fingers.

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  I have the stuff packed away in no time, while Clint has taken one of my new tea towels to dry the bin. I have to bite my lip so I don’t bitch at him for not grabbing one of the old ones. Got to practice being nicer to the guy, so I turn my back to him and make us a fresh pot of coffee, chewing my lip the whole time. Besides, I figure we’ve got a ‘talk’ coming, and I’d feel much better with an extra shot of caffeine under my belt. The plop of the wet and now dirty new tea towel on the counter beside me has my head snap up. I swallow hard before grabbing it and without looking at Clint, make my way into the mudroom where my laundry is. He’s testing my patience. When I walk back in he’s on the phone, apologizing to someone for not being able to make their appointment on time. I didn’t hear it ring, so I assume he’s the one making the call, and my irritation turns into a full-out mini blow-out.

  “Don’t cancel your date on my account,” I snap as soon as he ends his call. “Wouldn’t want to have anyone miss out on your sparkling personality. Didn’t take you long? Who’ve you got on speed dial?” I say all this while banging around coffee cups and milk. Trust me, I know I’m being a bitch. I also know that I shouldn’t indulge that little bit of insecurity that always nags its way to the forefront when I feel threatened in any way. And I’m feeling it in a big way. Judging by the impact his ‘omission’ already had on me, it’s a safe bet this man has the ability to break me, and that terrifies me.

  “You about done?” he asks, with anger deepening the lines on his face. Already coming down from my little diatribe and afraid to do more damage, I give a little shrug. “Good. ‘Cause now it’s my time, and you’re gonna shut it and listen.”

  I’m manhandled by the shoulders and pushed down on a kitchen chair.

  “Hey,” I voice a protest, but the furious glint in his eyes has me shut my mouth quickly.

  “Shut. It.”

  Okay then. He stays leaning over me, one hand on the back of my chair and the other on the table, effectively boxing me in.

  “Don’t know why you’re so damn stubborn,” he starts, and I immediately open my mouth in protest. The don’t-mess-with-me glare he sends me has me snap it shut again. “Good choice.” He feels the need to point out. “You’ve been looking for excuses to pull away. I may not sound that savvy some of the time, but woman, I ain’t stupid. Every chance you get, you try to put a wedge in what we’ve got going here.”

  “I should’ve been told about Dylan’s troubles,” I insist. Clint drops his head and sighs.

  “Yeah, you should’ve. That’s on me for trying to protect you. Not gonna keep shit from you again, even if it is with the best of intentions.”

  Okay, now I’m a little embarrassed about my crazy woman act. He obviously thought he was doing the right thing. Ugh. “Sorry too,” I mumble, very uncomfortable with this apology stuff.

  “Wait—did you just apologize?” I can hear the damn amusement in his voice, and I lift my head, shooting fire with my eyes. Well, at least trying to. It only seems to amuse him more, and he leans down and brushes a kiss to my lips while chuckling. So unfair. “I was just trying to do what I thought was best at the time, Bean. Trying to prevent you from getting hurt.”

  “I know...”

  “And just in case you were wondering, that was Kendra on the phone. Wanted to reschedule to tomorrow after I see the doc.”

  “Oh.” I do my best to avoid looking him in the eye, but he lifts a hand to the side of my neck and with his thumb lifts up my chin. I still see amusement on his face, but there is something warm there too. Something I might like to roll around in. I lean forward a bit and skim my lips over his. This results in his hand snagging in my ponytail and yanking my head back, angling me just right for his mouth to plunder mine with lots of lip and tongue. By the time he pulls back, the only thing securing me is his hand in my hair. I’m panting like a racehorse and am so focused on Clint, the shrill ring of my phone has me almost jumping out of my skin. He steps back, tags my phone on the counter, and hands it to me.

  “Hello?”

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me about the car incident?” Gus almost yells in my ear and from the look on Clint’s face, he can hear every word.

  “I forgot,” I say honestly and watch as Clint’s eyes darken.

  “Jesus, Beth. I’d have never let you drive home on your own. Tell me exactly what happened.”

  So I do. I tell Gus everything I remember, and listen to him swear a few times, while talking to Neil in the background about some security or something. All the while I’m watching Clint’s jaw clench harder. If he’s not careful he’s going to chip a tooth. He’s pissed.

  “Stay there, don’t move. Neil’s coming by to check out security at your house.”

  “I’m okay. Clint’s here now.” I volunteer.

  “Clint? Let me talk to him.” I hand the phone over.

  “Yea,” he says, walking away from the table and over to the back door with his back to me. I can’t hear Gus anymore, but I can hear every word Clint’s saying, and it’s enough to get my hackles back up.

  “She’s coming home with me. You want to ramp up security at my place, send Neil over there. She’s not staying here by herself.” It’s like he can feel my eyes burning holes in his back because he turns around to face me.

  “Yes, we’ll be there as soon as Max wakes up from his nap. An hour—sounds good.”

  As soon as he disconnects and tosses my phone on the counter, he’s back in my space.

  “When Max wakes up, we’re packing what we need and you’re coming back home with me.”

  “I’m fine here,” I insist, which only makes his face go scarier.

  “Yeah? You’re so far up your own arse you can’t even see the light, woman.
How do you ‘forget’ to mention this to anyone?” He’s almost yelling at me now, and let me tell you, the man is pretty damn intimidating when angry.

  “I told Emma and Arlene. Then we got to talking about... Well, whatever, but anyway, I didn’t think about it after that.” Clint puts his hands on his hips and tilts his head to the ceiling. “Jesus,” I can hear him mutter.

  “I’ll be fine here,” I try again, only to have him haul me out of my seat and against his chest.

  “Gonna be the death of me, Beth. I swear to God. Think about Max then. I know you wouldn’t want anything to happen to that boy. From what Gus tells me the group that ran that chop shop is a highly organized syndicate with lots of money. You know what that spells, Beth? That spells some seriously bad news. Your incident earlier today is a fucking warning. With Dylan in the wind, they’re gonna try and flood him out through you. Or Max.” He shakes me lightly with his hands on my shoulders.

  I’m an idiot. I’ve been so preoccupied not getting sucked into the Clint vortex that I’m not thinking straight. This is fucking dangerous. So I tell him. “This is dangerous shit.”

  Clint drops his forehead to mine and wraps his arms around me tight. “No shit, babe. Seriously dangerous shit.”

  I snuggle right into his arms and hold onto him tightly. “I’m sorry,” I mumble into his flannel shirt.

  “S’Okay. I figured it wasn’t gonna be a smooth ride.”

  Not sure I want to know what he means by that, so I wisely keep my mouth shut. For once.

  -

  -

  “Hey, little man.”

  I reach out to grab Max, who just woke up, from his cot. All sleepy and warm, he cuddles right into my neck, and I feel his little fingers playing through my scruff. Beth is in her bedroom finishing her packing. I’d come into Max’s room to start grabbing some of his stuff when he woke up.